Hee Hee...
Aug. 4th, 2021 10:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatI read this insane book description on Good Reads, then the reviews, both the marketing ones, and the actual...and LOL!
First - this one by author Alexis Hall - review of Sea of Ruin
Then...
Sea of Ruin reviews on Amazon
From the Amazon page:
Beautiful, soul-shattering, and utterly delicious." ~ Ilsa Madden-Mills, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and USA Today bestselling author
"Elegant writing that paints a romantic picture, swoon-worthy anti-heroes who make aggression oh so seductive, and a plot that balances on brutal and breath-taking." ~ Pepper Winters, New York Times bestselling author
"Pam Godwin consumed my heart and soul through the brutal beauty of Sea of Ruin. I was enthralled, not only by the authentic vocabulary and historic references, but by the sheer wonder of this unique tale and the characters like no other. Sea of Ruin is an epic novel that goes far beyond five stars." ~ Aleatha Romig, New York Times bestselling author
"Lush and all-consuming, delicious, and so beautifully, beautifully penned. This is one book I will never, ever forget." ~ Mia Sheridan, New York Times bestselling author
"Skillfully executed, penned to perfection ... Sea of Ruin will leave you breathless. READ. THIS. BOOK!" ~ Jewel E. Ann, USA Today & Wall Street Journal bestselling author
"Sea of Ruin is a masterpiece. From the flawless, evocative prose, to the characters who live and breathe on the page, to the richly drawn world of the high seas, Pam Godwin has created no less than a work of art." ~ Emma Scott, USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestselling author.
"You'll find all the magic and darkly erotic allure in these pages. 5 stars is not enough for how much I enjoyed this wild adventure!" ~ Keri Lake, USA Today bestselling author
Amazon Review:
This is not a romance, it's beyond a dark romance. This is seemingly a story about a young woman who lived through so much trauma and loneliness that she's willing to accept infidelity and being the third wheel in a relationship to feel anything that resembles love. The author tries to present the heroine, Bennett as a strong, independent woman but in reality, she's an insecure, damaged woman who's willing to forgive her cheating husband, even blaming herself for not forgiving him and then realizes she's ok with being the side-piece witness to another epic love story. Bennett finds a letter written by her husband's lover, in the letter the lover tells Priest, her husband, that they can't see each other anymore and that they need to break things off. It devastates her husband, he's losing the love of his life but hey, at least he still has his wife, Bennett! I mean why have principles when she can be the consolation prize? Then she ends up in a British warship where she gets sexually assaulted, tortured, and beat by the second love interest, Lord Ashley Cutler treats her shitty which leads to her falling in love with him, obviously (maybe this author hates women?). After she gets repeatedly raped and beaten, she's rescued by both men and surprise! Ashley and Priest are madly in love (Lord Ashley is the lover that broke Priest's heart). Basically Ashley and Priest have had a years-long affair, and Bennett realizes that Priest and Ashely stare at each other in a way neither of them looks at her, she correctly guesses she'd be the third wheel and eventually decides she's A-ok with this. So to recap, Bennett finds out her husband cheated with the love of his life, then she accepts them as a couple with her as the third wheel so in reality this book about Lord Ashely's and Priests' epic love story. I'm all for authors writing whatever they want to write but don't sell it as a romance when this a story about two men using an insecure woman to accept their own relationship.
And excerpt from Alexis Hall's review:
I was very aware throughout of how problematic the book is in multiple different ways (many of which should have personally rendered it a deal breaker) and I was often pretty uncomfortable, especially in the final third which is sort of just heroine-centric torture porn?
But I also found myself reading it with the glee of a teenager. It’s bought an amp that turns up to eleven, you know? It’s histrionic, and ridiculous and it’s campy as balls, and I cannot resist me some high camp. Like, there is literally a line where the heroine describes the speech of the husband she believes has cheated on her as “blasphemous ululation.” Genuine phrase, deployed without a hint of irony. You’ve kind of got to love that. Also one of the heroes has a penis so big it cannot, like, raise its head? You know like a disaffected teenager in a physics lesson.
Oh, oh, and there’s a bit, I swear to God, where the other hero … eats? The heroine’s dress?
Then, as promised, his teeth sank into the back of my gown and began an erotic assault on the satin, pulling at hooks, ripping through ribbon, and freeing me from the air-depriving restraints.
His breathing accelerated, and his hands dug into my waist, holding me immobile and recklessly affected. I was so distracted by the wreckage of his teeth and the sounds of his hunger I didn’t notice he’d finished with the gown until it landed around my booted feet in a puddle of shredded fabric.
I mean, whatever floats your boat, mate?
And do not even get me started on the Chekov’s citrus allergy plot. Oh okay. I’ll start a little. I won’t spoil the, um, resolution of the Chekov’s citrus allergy plot but there’s a bit near the beginning where the heroine needs information from the hero with a citrus allergy. So she comes up with this whacked out plan to sex it out of him, by like covering herself in orange juice, then using perfume to cover up the scent of oranges, and then tempting him to touch her so he gets orange juice all over his hands, which means he can’t touch his dick while she’s all, like, getting down with her bad self. And given she’s got him literally chained up in the bilge … this just struck me as a really complicated way to get orange juice onto his hands when she could just have, like, squirted orange juice onto his hands and/or dick? And then masturbated at a safe distance?
I mean, I don’t know. I’m clearly just not camp enough for this book. Since it has never occurred to me to extract information from someone by wanking at them.
And look I can’t lie: I was completely invested in the entirely absurd relationship that develops between the heroine and Lord Ashley Cutler, the pirate hunter who has captured her. The other guy is a bit of a cypher apart from being Welsh and having longish hair and great abs, but I’m just a sucker for the cold guy who is secretly exploding with “unseemly needs” and terrible shame. It’s like a kink kryptonite for me. Although, really, I had absolutely no place being into a hero whose introduction involves hanging the heroine over the back of his ship and then wailing on her vulva.
I mean, I’ve got no excuses. At this point I am just shaking my head at myself. I think there sometimes just comes a point when something is so … extravagantly itself that you either take it on its own terms or belligerently part ways. For some reason, something about this book, made me take it on its own terms. If you can do that—and I’m aware being able to do that is a matter of privilege-it’s fun. It’s batshit fun.
If you can’t that’s totally fine. And I would under no circumstances suggest you try.
PS – this book is also weird about anal. On the one hand, we have a heroine who is unabashedly into it, which is all nice and sex positive and stuff. But the only time we see it happening on page it’s being used as a punishment. Mixed messages, much?
PPS – another reason I kind of love lord Ashley Cutler is that while he’s being sexually tormented by the heroine, but unable to admit his feels, he keeps sneaking out of the bed he shares with her to wank in solitary splendour on the balcony on the back of the ship. What made me laugh so hard I woke my partner was that when the heroine finally decides to join him and put him out of his wank misery she discovers he’s brought a pot of lube with him. What we have here is a hero who will seek his release furtively on a balcony but still remember to bring with him his personal pleasure enhancers. Respect dude, respect.
First - this one by author Alexis Hall - review of Sea of Ruin
Then...
Sea of Ruin reviews on Amazon
From the Amazon page:
Beautiful, soul-shattering, and utterly delicious." ~ Ilsa Madden-Mills, Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and USA Today bestselling author
"Elegant writing that paints a romantic picture, swoon-worthy anti-heroes who make aggression oh so seductive, and a plot that balances on brutal and breath-taking." ~ Pepper Winters, New York Times bestselling author
"Pam Godwin consumed my heart and soul through the brutal beauty of Sea of Ruin. I was enthralled, not only by the authentic vocabulary and historic references, but by the sheer wonder of this unique tale and the characters like no other. Sea of Ruin is an epic novel that goes far beyond five stars." ~ Aleatha Romig, New York Times bestselling author
"Lush and all-consuming, delicious, and so beautifully, beautifully penned. This is one book I will never, ever forget." ~ Mia Sheridan, New York Times bestselling author
"Skillfully executed, penned to perfection ... Sea of Ruin will leave you breathless. READ. THIS. BOOK!" ~ Jewel E. Ann, USA Today & Wall Street Journal bestselling author
"Sea of Ruin is a masterpiece. From the flawless, evocative prose, to the characters who live and breathe on the page, to the richly drawn world of the high seas, Pam Godwin has created no less than a work of art." ~ Emma Scott, USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestselling author.
"You'll find all the magic and darkly erotic allure in these pages. 5 stars is not enough for how much I enjoyed this wild adventure!" ~ Keri Lake, USA Today bestselling author
Amazon Review:
This is not a romance, it's beyond a dark romance. This is seemingly a story about a young woman who lived through so much trauma and loneliness that she's willing to accept infidelity and being the third wheel in a relationship to feel anything that resembles love. The author tries to present the heroine, Bennett as a strong, independent woman but in reality, she's an insecure, damaged woman who's willing to forgive her cheating husband, even blaming herself for not forgiving him and then realizes she's ok with being the side-piece witness to another epic love story. Bennett finds a letter written by her husband's lover, in the letter the lover tells Priest, her husband, that they can't see each other anymore and that they need to break things off. It devastates her husband, he's losing the love of his life but hey, at least he still has his wife, Bennett! I mean why have principles when she can be the consolation prize? Then she ends up in a British warship where she gets sexually assaulted, tortured, and beat by the second love interest, Lord Ashley Cutler treats her shitty which leads to her falling in love with him, obviously (maybe this author hates women?). After she gets repeatedly raped and beaten, she's rescued by both men and surprise! Ashley and Priest are madly in love (Lord Ashley is the lover that broke Priest's heart). Basically Ashley and Priest have had a years-long affair, and Bennett realizes that Priest and Ashely stare at each other in a way neither of them looks at her, she correctly guesses she'd be the third wheel and eventually decides she's A-ok with this. So to recap, Bennett finds out her husband cheated with the love of his life, then she accepts them as a couple with her as the third wheel so in reality this book about Lord Ashely's and Priests' epic love story. I'm all for authors writing whatever they want to write but don't sell it as a romance when this a story about two men using an insecure woman to accept their own relationship.
And excerpt from Alexis Hall's review:
I was very aware throughout of how problematic the book is in multiple different ways (many of which should have personally rendered it a deal breaker) and I was often pretty uncomfortable, especially in the final third which is sort of just heroine-centric torture porn?
But I also found myself reading it with the glee of a teenager. It’s bought an amp that turns up to eleven, you know? It’s histrionic, and ridiculous and it’s campy as balls, and I cannot resist me some high camp. Like, there is literally a line where the heroine describes the speech of the husband she believes has cheated on her as “blasphemous ululation.” Genuine phrase, deployed without a hint of irony. You’ve kind of got to love that. Also one of the heroes has a penis so big it cannot, like, raise its head? You know like a disaffected teenager in a physics lesson.
Oh, oh, and there’s a bit, I swear to God, where the other hero … eats? The heroine’s dress?
Then, as promised, his teeth sank into the back of my gown and began an erotic assault on the satin, pulling at hooks, ripping through ribbon, and freeing me from the air-depriving restraints.
His breathing accelerated, and his hands dug into my waist, holding me immobile and recklessly affected. I was so distracted by the wreckage of his teeth and the sounds of his hunger I didn’t notice he’d finished with the gown until it landed around my booted feet in a puddle of shredded fabric.
I mean, whatever floats your boat, mate?
And do not even get me started on the Chekov’s citrus allergy plot. Oh okay. I’ll start a little. I won’t spoil the, um, resolution of the Chekov’s citrus allergy plot but there’s a bit near the beginning where the heroine needs information from the hero with a citrus allergy. So she comes up with this whacked out plan to sex it out of him, by like covering herself in orange juice, then using perfume to cover up the scent of oranges, and then tempting him to touch her so he gets orange juice all over his hands, which means he can’t touch his dick while she’s all, like, getting down with her bad self. And given she’s got him literally chained up in the bilge … this just struck me as a really complicated way to get orange juice onto his hands when she could just have, like, squirted orange juice onto his hands and/or dick? And then masturbated at a safe distance?
I mean, I don’t know. I’m clearly just not camp enough for this book. Since it has never occurred to me to extract information from someone by wanking at them.
And look I can’t lie: I was completely invested in the entirely absurd relationship that develops between the heroine and Lord Ashley Cutler, the pirate hunter who has captured her. The other guy is a bit of a cypher apart from being Welsh and having longish hair and great abs, but I’m just a sucker for the cold guy who is secretly exploding with “unseemly needs” and terrible shame. It’s like a kink kryptonite for me. Although, really, I had absolutely no place being into a hero whose introduction involves hanging the heroine over the back of his ship and then wailing on her vulva.
I mean, I’ve got no excuses. At this point I am just shaking my head at myself. I think there sometimes just comes a point when something is so … extravagantly itself that you either take it on its own terms or belligerently part ways. For some reason, something about this book, made me take it on its own terms. If you can do that—and I’m aware being able to do that is a matter of privilege-it’s fun. It’s batshit fun.
If you can’t that’s totally fine. And I would under no circumstances suggest you try.
PS – this book is also weird about anal. On the one hand, we have a heroine who is unabashedly into it, which is all nice and sex positive and stuff. But the only time we see it happening on page it’s being used as a punishment. Mixed messages, much?
PPS – another reason I kind of love lord Ashley Cutler is that while he’s being sexually tormented by the heroine, but unable to admit his feels, he keeps sneaking out of the bed he shares with her to wank in solitary splendour on the balcony on the back of the ship. What made me laugh so hard I woke my partner was that when the heroine finally decides to join him and put him out of his wank misery she discovers he’s brought a pot of lube with him. What we have here is a hero who will seek his release furtively on a balcony but still remember to bring with him his personal pleasure enhancers. Respect dude, respect.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-05 03:21 pm (UTC)This thing (the book reviewed in my post not Erica Jong's novel) looks kind of ridiculous - too ridiculous to be taken seriously. I should be amazed it got published - but I know better. A lot of bad writing gets published - I know I've read a lot of it. It definitely goes to the Dark Side, and ahem somewhat misogynistic from the looks of it?
Although the positive review blurbs or marketing blurbs on Amazon gave me pause - who would write these things? About that book, no less? Was this meant to be satire? Made me wonder about Amazon's review blurbs, and the positive blurbs on book jackets. Not that I hadn't wondered about it before...but it kind of underlined how easy it is to buy reviews or pull positive statements out of context.
Interesting in the 18th Century - the issue would have been syphilis or STD's and less on the queer bit.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-05 04:06 pm (UTC)The Jong book was fairly forgettable.