Year 2 - Day 148 - Tired
Aug. 13th, 2021 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatWell, as I told mother tonight, the meditation exercises that I've been doing for four years now are definitely helping. I'm finding it easier and easier to let go of thoughts or watch them float on by. Along with information that people throw at me, I find it easier to forget it. I forgot almost everything my co-workers told me today, and pretty much everything mother told me about all the gallivanting about my brother is doing.
Mother: Your brother's lovely news and summer is beginning to bug me. I want to do all the things he's doing - I feel cooped up and it will never get better.
Me: Well meditation is helping me, I've forgotten half of what you've told me already. I just don't care. However I'd kill right now to spend time with friends at a beach house somewhere. I need a vacation - I've decided to take one around labor day weekend and go into the city and see Central Park and the Highland. I'd prefer to go somewhere - with no people, but alas, outside of Greenwood Cemetery - that doesn't appear to be possible.
There are days I wish I owned a car, could still drive and had no anxiety regarding either. But they are fleeting and I'll get over it.
The one thing I can't quite forget is how many people have died of COVID in the US, nor can I stop keeping count. This compulsive need to check every so often won't quite leave me. I have gotten better about not checking, in January 2020 through pretty much January 2021, I was checking the COVID MAP OF DOOM four times a day. Now? I check it maybe once or twice a week, if that. I don't want to forget it - because I want to remember those who've been lost - even if they are just numbers on a map.
It's been a long week, and I find my thoughts want to just float by like clouds on an ever-shifting horizon. Today I was back in the office - with about ten other people. I only saw six of them, and only talked to five.
One had barricaded himself behind stacks of paper in the conference room, every once and a while I'd get a sighting.
All, with the exception of the guy barricading himself in the conference room, want to work remotely full time. I can handle the hybrid. But I cannot handle returning en mass, nor can anyone else. Which makes me think with the Delta and apparently now, according to Babs, the Delta Plus, wandering about...we'll stay hybrid. My co-workers are hoping we'll be all sent home full time again.
So much has changed and continues to change in such a short period of time, that I've lost track, and feel at this point that I'm just letting myself float down the rapids with the rest of the debris - no longer fighting to swim upstream. I'm just tired. So is mother for that matter.
The New York News Media for want of anything better to do, has decided to pick apart Andrew Cuomo's Governorship, along with the events leading up to his resignation, and inclusive of speculation on his state of mind and what he was thinking and doing during all of it. God. Our media is insane. Note to self - never become famous or a leader of anything that will garner media attention. I have decided living in obscurity is a gift.
COVID
A panel advising the C.D.C. endorsed the F.D.A.’s authorization of a third vaccine dose for immunocompromised people.
The move gives more backing to doctors and patients considering the opportunity for extra protection. It comes a day after drug regulators authorized booster shots for people with solid organ transplants and others with similarly weakened immune systems.
Over the past week, an average of roughly 125,800 coronavirus cases has been reported each day in the U.S., an increase of 76 percent from two weeks ago.
The Delta variant is bringing Iran to its knees. The official death toll is around 600 a day, but frontline doctors told The Times that the real daily figure was closer to 1,000.
On Twitter - shipperx, who lives in Alabama, was tweeting that everyone she knows has had the virus. Her sister's cleaning lady died of it. Her Trumper's neighbors across the street got it. And the hospitals are overrun. Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, Florida, Kentucky, and Louisiana are all in trouble.
And someone I don't know, posted that his big takeaway from this is how many people are so unwilling to do a small thing to protect others. It's not hard to wear a mask. In the City, we all wear masks for the most part. I do remove it when I'm outdoors, and not close to people. But keep in mind, I live in a city, so...
We've become used to wearing them.
It's like everyone has a different experience - my brother seems to be out of the pandemic. It's not really affecting him at all, or his family that much. They are socializing, traveling, etc without any problems. While my mother, father, and I are highly affected by it - and the pandemic in some respects has turned our lives upside down and sideways.
***
New York Governor or "new head of Crazy Org"
At work, we all pondered what effect the change in governorship would have on crazy organization. The New York State Governor is the head of Crazy Org and appoints all its leaders, and the most seats on its board. And every governor changes the leadership to fit their agenda. The Governor also controls the funding, the priorities, etc.
Everyone at crazy org despised Cuomo - who was a bully. And despised working with his people. But it seems unlikely it will shake everything up.
The New York State Assembly will suspend its impeachment investigation into Gov. Andrew Cuomo following his resignation over sexual harassment allegations.
Carl Heastie, the speaker of the Assembly, said the inquiry was now moot, since its main purpose was to determine whether Cuomo should remain in office. Heastie also said that lawmakers did not have the constitutional authority to impeach a governor who was no longer in office. Some Democratic lawmakers had pushed for an impeachment vote to hold Cuomo accountable — and potentially bar him from running for state office in the future.
Cuomo’s resignation will take effect on Aug. 24. - Source the New York Times.
***
It's hot here - apparently. I was barely outside, so barely noticed. Have decent A/C both at work and at home. Got filing done at work. I've mixed feelings about going into the office. If it continues to be on the hybrid schedule like it is now - I think I'm fine with it. I like working in a huge office space with only ten people.
People wore masks for the most part on the commute. There were a few folks who didn't - there's always three or four folks who don't. But they are easy to avoid. The subway had less people without...most wore masks on it. The train had more people without - which makes more sense - you are somewhat isolated and six feet from people on the train for the most part.
People wore them when they weren't.
New Yorkers are for the most part being good - at least in the city they are.
I wear masks the same amount of time now that I did in 2020. It's not changed that much in the city, if at all.
**
I'm tired of it though. I feel like I'm floating at the moment. Kind of paralyzed with not caring all that much about anything.
I was asked by apto_omn whether I'd ever done a water color or painting from a photograph. Yes, I have, multiple times in the past, albeit not recently. The below is a watercolor that I did from a photo of my niece and her friend several years ago. It's kind of rough, and I wasn't overly pleased with aspects of it. But I'm also admittedly overly critical of my work.
Mother: Your brother's lovely news and summer is beginning to bug me. I want to do all the things he's doing - I feel cooped up and it will never get better.
Me: Well meditation is helping me, I've forgotten half of what you've told me already. I just don't care. However I'd kill right now to spend time with friends at a beach house somewhere. I need a vacation - I've decided to take one around labor day weekend and go into the city and see Central Park and the Highland. I'd prefer to go somewhere - with no people, but alas, outside of Greenwood Cemetery - that doesn't appear to be possible.
There are days I wish I owned a car, could still drive and had no anxiety regarding either. But they are fleeting and I'll get over it.
The one thing I can't quite forget is how many people have died of COVID in the US, nor can I stop keeping count. This compulsive need to check every so often won't quite leave me. I have gotten better about not checking, in January 2020 through pretty much January 2021, I was checking the COVID MAP OF DOOM four times a day. Now? I check it maybe once or twice a week, if that. I don't want to forget it - because I want to remember those who've been lost - even if they are just numbers on a map.
It's been a long week, and I find my thoughts want to just float by like clouds on an ever-shifting horizon. Today I was back in the office - with about ten other people. I only saw six of them, and only talked to five.
One had barricaded himself behind stacks of paper in the conference room, every once and a while I'd get a sighting.
All, with the exception of the guy barricading himself in the conference room, want to work remotely full time. I can handle the hybrid. But I cannot handle returning en mass, nor can anyone else. Which makes me think with the Delta and apparently now, according to Babs, the Delta Plus, wandering about...we'll stay hybrid. My co-workers are hoping we'll be all sent home full time again.
So much has changed and continues to change in such a short period of time, that I've lost track, and feel at this point that I'm just letting myself float down the rapids with the rest of the debris - no longer fighting to swim upstream. I'm just tired. So is mother for that matter.
The New York News Media for want of anything better to do, has decided to pick apart Andrew Cuomo's Governorship, along with the events leading up to his resignation, and inclusive of speculation on his state of mind and what he was thinking and doing during all of it. God. Our media is insane. Note to self - never become famous or a leader of anything that will garner media attention. I have decided living in obscurity is a gift.
COVID
A panel advising the C.D.C. endorsed the F.D.A.’s authorization of a third vaccine dose for immunocompromised people.
The move gives more backing to doctors and patients considering the opportunity for extra protection. It comes a day after drug regulators authorized booster shots for people with solid organ transplants and others with similarly weakened immune systems.
Over the past week, an average of roughly 125,800 coronavirus cases has been reported each day in the U.S., an increase of 76 percent from two weeks ago.
The Delta variant is bringing Iran to its knees. The official death toll is around 600 a day, but frontline doctors told The Times that the real daily figure was closer to 1,000.
On Twitter - shipperx, who lives in Alabama, was tweeting that everyone she knows has had the virus. Her sister's cleaning lady died of it. Her Trumper's neighbors across the street got it. And the hospitals are overrun. Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, Florida, Kentucky, and Louisiana are all in trouble.
And someone I don't know, posted that his big takeaway from this is how many people are so unwilling to do a small thing to protect others. It's not hard to wear a mask. In the City, we all wear masks for the most part. I do remove it when I'm outdoors, and not close to people. But keep in mind, I live in a city, so...
We've become used to wearing them.
It's like everyone has a different experience - my brother seems to be out of the pandemic. It's not really affecting him at all, or his family that much. They are socializing, traveling, etc without any problems. While my mother, father, and I are highly affected by it - and the pandemic in some respects has turned our lives upside down and sideways.
***
New York Governor or "new head of Crazy Org"
At work, we all pondered what effect the change in governorship would have on crazy organization. The New York State Governor is the head of Crazy Org and appoints all its leaders, and the most seats on its board. And every governor changes the leadership to fit their agenda. The Governor also controls the funding, the priorities, etc.
Everyone at crazy org despised Cuomo - who was a bully. And despised working with his people. But it seems unlikely it will shake everything up.
The New York State Assembly will suspend its impeachment investigation into Gov. Andrew Cuomo following his resignation over sexual harassment allegations.
Carl Heastie, the speaker of the Assembly, said the inquiry was now moot, since its main purpose was to determine whether Cuomo should remain in office. Heastie also said that lawmakers did not have the constitutional authority to impeach a governor who was no longer in office. Some Democratic lawmakers had pushed for an impeachment vote to hold Cuomo accountable — and potentially bar him from running for state office in the future.
Cuomo’s resignation will take effect on Aug. 24. - Source the New York Times.
***
It's hot here - apparently. I was barely outside, so barely noticed. Have decent A/C both at work and at home. Got filing done at work. I've mixed feelings about going into the office. If it continues to be on the hybrid schedule like it is now - I think I'm fine with it. I like working in a huge office space with only ten people.
People wore masks for the most part on the commute. There were a few folks who didn't - there's always three or four folks who don't. But they are easy to avoid. The subway had less people without...most wore masks on it. The train had more people without - which makes more sense - you are somewhat isolated and six feet from people on the train for the most part.
People wore them when they weren't.
New Yorkers are for the most part being good - at least in the city they are.
I wear masks the same amount of time now that I did in 2020. It's not changed that much in the city, if at all.
**
I'm tired of it though. I feel like I'm floating at the moment. Kind of paralyzed with not caring all that much about anything.
I was asked by apto_omn whether I'd ever done a water color or painting from a photograph. Yes, I have, multiple times in the past, albeit not recently. The below is a watercolor that I did from a photo of my niece and her friend several years ago. It's kind of rough, and I wasn't overly pleased with aspects of it. But I'm also admittedly overly critical of my work.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 01:23 am (UTC)It's absolutely infuriating and so frustrating at the same time, because these are the same people who spent the entire first part of the pandemic declaring that they didn't have to take precautions because they didn't live in NYC and it just Wasn't That Bad Here. I spent months of my life trying to explain to people that if they waited until it WAS that bad it'd be too late, and apparently to no avail.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 02:40 am (UTC)I've lost count of the number of people that have told me stories about relatives who.."drank the kool-aid" aka they believe the conspiracy crap that the alt-right and others are spreading, and not getting vaccinated or wearing a mask as a result. I reported one idiot to FB, who was spreading a Youtube video he'd found of a Doctor telling everyone that they didn't need to wear masks and vaccines were dangerous. He was spreading this video on a site for employees of crazy org.
Mother and I were discussing it tonight over the phone. And agreed, it's almost as if people refuse to believe its true until they get sick with it themselves, and end up in the hospital. I don't get it. And I'm so tired of banging my head against that wall, that its hard to even care any longer.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 01:37 am (UTC)This is the thing that also gets me. It's such a minor thing for such a big reason, yet people are even fighting to keep their kids from having to be masked, even though a lot of them are starting to get sick.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 02:46 am (UTC)Plus, you can get a mask that isn't heavy and fairly cheap, also disposable.
Right now, schools are fighting for mask mandates. I don't understand why they don't have them in place already? Kids are dying of the Delta variant, and they can't get everyone under 12 vaccinated. What's wrong with people? I get it - wearing a mask all day long is uncomfortable, but...it's safe.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 02:52 am (UTC)We may end up going that route soon - by Sept 15. One of the facilities managers came by today to see if we needed any more masks or anything. He said - that there was a rumor that we'd be ordered back en mass on September 15, but he doubted it would happen now with the Delta. But we don't know yet.
It's not equal across the board. Some company's haven't brought people back to the office at all, other's have. Some are waiting until fall - and now may have changed their minds. (I think they should have brought them back hybrid in the summer, and maybe play it by ear in the fall.)
I honestly don't know what the management is thinking. Or why they are sending people who are working well at home - back into the office. It's not safe for the folks who have to be in the office and commute because they can't work from home, and it's not safe for the folks who can work from home. Less people in - the better.
I don't think our leadership knows how to deal with this and is making it up as they go along. Also I think they are failing miserably at it.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 02:59 am (UTC)At least everyone is required to mask when away from their desks, desks are all separated by plastic barriers, and it had just been announced that we are following DOE rules regarding vaccinations.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 03:08 am (UTC)At least NYC finally - passed a mandate this past week that you have to be vaccinated to do indoor events, and they are hoping to mandate that you can only return to the workplace if vaccinated. NYC is the first US city to do it. They are pressuring employers to put a vaccine mandate in place for their workplaces. Also NYC is mandating all teachers and school professionals are vaccinated, and all health care workers. [It's something - but it should have been mandated months ago. The American Teacher's Union - at least supports vaccine and mask mandates.]
As I told my co-workers on Tuesday, and they agreed - I give our leadership a solid F for Failure on how they handled this pandemic. They all screwed up royally.
There's so many things they could have done that would have prevented this.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 04:57 am (UTC)Control issues.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 03:05 pm (UTC)It takes the "micromanagement", "quantity" and "clockwatching" out, and puts the emphasis on productivity and quality of the work.
no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-08-14 03:12 am (UTC)