Year 2 - Day 201
Oct. 3rd, 2021 09:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatHad a long talk with Wales today.
Wales: I'm experiencing anxiety.
Me: Completely get that - no wait, how are you experiencing anxiety?
Wales: About being alone, living alone, my dad (her mom's Dead), work, my life not going anywhere...and I am anxious about visiting you and Greenwood Cemetery - it seems so far away and hard to get to.
ME: No, I totally get it. I'm experiencing anxiety too. About mostly the same things. It's the Sunday Scaries. I also have troubles getting myself to go anywhere. I want to - but I can't get myself to do it. I'm envious of my brother and his wife who made it into the city this weekend to see exhibits at museums.
Wales: There's all these exhibits at museums I want to see too, and shows, and concerts, and I can't get myself to do any of it.
Me: I really want to see West Side Story - the new movie coming out. But the idea of going to a movie theater...although would you see that? I know you don't like musicals -
Wales: No, I like West Side Story. I love the music in that one.
Me: Because you don't like the Rogers and Hammerstein or -
Wales: That's true - I hate South Pacific. Ugh. And I've no interest in seeing Hamilton, doesn't appeal to me at all. Maybe we can see West Side Story next weekend?
ME: It's not out yet, it's not coming out until November or December. Besides I'm not ready.
Wales: Oh, sorry, I jumped the gun.
Me: How about we try Prospect Park. [We make plans for Prospect Park next Saturday.]
Wales: It's really hard to visit people and do things - I can see why you don't meet up with your brother when he comes into the city. Everything takes so long to get to.
Me: Well considering we're not doing a great job of seeing each other - and we only live 20-30 minutes away by subway.
Wales: True. Do you think we have ...I don't know PTSD?
ME: Oh we definitely have PTSD. No doubt about it. We're both sensitive, and last year and this year traumatized us. My brother was in the country, upstate, he barely saw the pandemic, and barely has had to wear a mask. I've had to wear one constantly. Also, we were among the last to go under lockdown. Going through a pandemic, alone, isolated with no one to rely on or help you, in a major city...is traumatizing.
Wales: Maybe we should get therapy or something?
ME: Eh, I already tried that...I'm going the meditation route, although meditation is weird - some people do it on a subject. I just want to turn off my thoughts.
Wales: Why would anyone want to sit and mediate on painful topics?
Me: I know, right. They end up sobbing. And I'm thinking, well, duh. I've gotten better at it, now I stare into space and think about nothing, but hey pretty tree, and nice light.
***
So I didn't do much this weekend or today. I sent the robot vacuum around the apartment, and did a little dusting. The sinuses are driving me nuts again - hello, fall. Also too much rain = mold. And I've cockroaches about - and I'm allergic to their shells. I'd love to trade the dust, mold and cockroaches for cats, but it doesn't work like that.
Did manage to write about nine pages of new book - it's forty-nine pages now. And it's moving along. Very rough. I've decided to play with it a bit, get a rough draft out, then revise later. I actually love revising.
So not a problem, and I tend to revise as I write.
Also spent way too much time discussing soap opera characters, storylines, and arcs on a FB fan board. It's a lot of fun actually - because soap operas have wackadoodle plots - like for example an evil guy running a lab that potentially had a human incubator, along with memory swapping, and implanted embryos. Along with brain control. Also we have a plot about a fashion editor finding a gangster with no memory of who he is, deciding to lie to him and his entire family about his survival, falling for him, and almost getting burned alive in a fire set by a guy working with the one who owned the laboratory. The other plus side of these things? It's been on 58 years, and has over 583 episodes and counting. So there's a ton of unlimited content to debate, discuss, and play around with. It's the gift that keeps on giving. The problem with most fandoms - is there's just enough content. (Although Star Trek and Star Wars no longer have that particular problem, nor for that matter does Doctor Who.)
I do this when I get PTSD. The last time I went nutty on a fanboard was in 2002, when I was suffering from PTSD over 9/11 and evil library company's antics. This round I'm suffering from PTSD over the Pandemic and crazy org's antics.
I think I need a vacation from my PTSD.
**
I did try to watch various television shows. Foundation Episode 2 - I went to sleep during again. This does not bode well for this series. It's the second episode that put me to sleep. I think the problem is that I don't buy the premise - which is math is the language that explains the deepest and most important concepts, and how everything is mathematically based. I don't think mathematically - in fact math tends to bore me. My immediate family is tragically bored to tears by math. So, an entire science fiction series that focuses almost entirely on math, and has long speeches about it - is guaranteed to put me to sleep. This explains why I couldn't get into the books.
This episode? I stuck with it until they had this long speech about how the Foundation had to agree on a counting system and there were several counting systems available such as base 10, and base 12, and base 27. And if we couldn't agree on how to count, how could we agree on anything else. And I thought, I don't understand counting systems, and suck at counting...and my brain just wants to sleep for a bit, bye now. I woke up at the end of the episode.
I may give it another chance, I don't know yet.
The Morning Show - is kind of triggering this year. It takes place the three months before COVID happened in NYC. And watching these people kiss, lick each others faces, be in mob scenes, knowing full well they filmed this thing this year, is kind of...disturbing. I made it through the first episode, but spent most of it, cringing at various points.
The Squid Game - well the English dubbing is atrocious, and the subtitles don't fit the dubbing. Also I can't stand the protagonist - he's a pathetic gambling addict. I feel sorry for anyone who cares about him. Gambling addictions I don't understand - I'm not a gambler and I don't like to play games, so I struggle watching things about folks who are, without getting irritated. So there's that. Also it's very violent - but in a frustrating way - in that you are watching the protagonist get beaten up and tortured in a horrendous fashion constantly.
This is the number 1 show on Netflix. And two of my co-workers love it.
I do wonder about folks sometimes.
What If? I did finish streaming this finally. It's not that good. I was kind of annoyed during it. And frustrated. They do a lot of really dark episodes in a row, only the first two are positive. Also the animation is pretty, but kind of clunky motion wise. The characters don't move smoothly or naturally, you can feel the mechanics behind it.
So far the best Marvel Streaming Series were WandaVision and The Falcon and Winter Solider.
(Loki is admittedly forever tainted by my brother telling me about the assholery of the lead actor in it towards a close friend of his. My brother keeps having odd run-ins with famous folks and telling me about them. I dislike Jared Kushner, Lena Durham, Jennifer Warren (Alias), the star of Madam Secretary, Tim Burton, Scean Young, Luke Wilson and Paul Wesley Anderson, Oliver Stone, Karen Black, Steven Spielberg, and now Tom Hiddleston because of my brother.)
Finished Gentleman Jim by Mimi Mathews - it was okay. Did most of it by audio-book. I liked the narrator better than the book. It would have been better if there was a bit more of the highway man and more action, and less "oh I love you, but I can't give up my land and estate..." nonsense. Also, I found it frustrating. Far too much time was spent on irritating villains. It's important to establish interesting villains.
Or interesting obstacles. But the male lead - I rather liked, quite a bit.
So there's that.
Still listening to the Cooking Gene by Michael A Twitty read by the author - but it's kind of boring. He's not the best narrator. It's hard to narrate these things by the way. You really need a voice actor to do it, otherwise it sounds like a monotone at times. Also, he's doing content about genealogy in detail. I don't find genealogy all that interesting. It tends to bore me. But, I'm also not an immigrant or African-American. I'm Northern European, and my ancestors all hailed from the British Isles and Scandinavia, Germany and Belgium - which is rather boring. African-Americans are into genealogy because they want to reclaim their heritage. He does a very good job of explaining that, why they need to do it, and all the resources they can use to do so and how it is done.
After I listened to him for a bit, I understood why MD was so obsessed with it.
**
Random picture of the day..
Wales: I'm experiencing anxiety.
Me: Completely get that - no wait, how are you experiencing anxiety?
Wales: About being alone, living alone, my dad (her mom's Dead), work, my life not going anywhere...and I am anxious about visiting you and Greenwood Cemetery - it seems so far away and hard to get to.
ME: No, I totally get it. I'm experiencing anxiety too. About mostly the same things. It's the Sunday Scaries. I also have troubles getting myself to go anywhere. I want to - but I can't get myself to do it. I'm envious of my brother and his wife who made it into the city this weekend to see exhibits at museums.
Wales: There's all these exhibits at museums I want to see too, and shows, and concerts, and I can't get myself to do any of it.
Me: I really want to see West Side Story - the new movie coming out. But the idea of going to a movie theater...although would you see that? I know you don't like musicals -
Wales: No, I like West Side Story. I love the music in that one.
Me: Because you don't like the Rogers and Hammerstein or -
Wales: That's true - I hate South Pacific. Ugh. And I've no interest in seeing Hamilton, doesn't appeal to me at all. Maybe we can see West Side Story next weekend?
ME: It's not out yet, it's not coming out until November or December. Besides I'm not ready.
Wales: Oh, sorry, I jumped the gun.
Me: How about we try Prospect Park. [We make plans for Prospect Park next Saturday.]
Wales: It's really hard to visit people and do things - I can see why you don't meet up with your brother when he comes into the city. Everything takes so long to get to.
Me: Well considering we're not doing a great job of seeing each other - and we only live 20-30 minutes away by subway.
Wales: True. Do you think we have ...I don't know PTSD?
ME: Oh we definitely have PTSD. No doubt about it. We're both sensitive, and last year and this year traumatized us. My brother was in the country, upstate, he barely saw the pandemic, and barely has had to wear a mask. I've had to wear one constantly. Also, we were among the last to go under lockdown. Going through a pandemic, alone, isolated with no one to rely on or help you, in a major city...is traumatizing.
Wales: Maybe we should get therapy or something?
ME: Eh, I already tried that...I'm going the meditation route, although meditation is weird - some people do it on a subject. I just want to turn off my thoughts.
Wales: Why would anyone want to sit and mediate on painful topics?
Me: I know, right. They end up sobbing. And I'm thinking, well, duh. I've gotten better at it, now I stare into space and think about nothing, but hey pretty tree, and nice light.
***
So I didn't do much this weekend or today. I sent the robot vacuum around the apartment, and did a little dusting. The sinuses are driving me nuts again - hello, fall. Also too much rain = mold. And I've cockroaches about - and I'm allergic to their shells. I'd love to trade the dust, mold and cockroaches for cats, but it doesn't work like that.
Did manage to write about nine pages of new book - it's forty-nine pages now. And it's moving along. Very rough. I've decided to play with it a bit, get a rough draft out, then revise later. I actually love revising.
So not a problem, and I tend to revise as I write.
Also spent way too much time discussing soap opera characters, storylines, and arcs on a FB fan board. It's a lot of fun actually - because soap operas have wackadoodle plots - like for example an evil guy running a lab that potentially had a human incubator, along with memory swapping, and implanted embryos. Along with brain control. Also we have a plot about a fashion editor finding a gangster with no memory of who he is, deciding to lie to him and his entire family about his survival, falling for him, and almost getting burned alive in a fire set by a guy working with the one who owned the laboratory. The other plus side of these things? It's been on 58 years, and has over 583 episodes and counting. So there's a ton of unlimited content to debate, discuss, and play around with. It's the gift that keeps on giving. The problem with most fandoms - is there's just enough content. (Although Star Trek and Star Wars no longer have that particular problem, nor for that matter does Doctor Who.)
I do this when I get PTSD. The last time I went nutty on a fanboard was in 2002, when I was suffering from PTSD over 9/11 and evil library company's antics. This round I'm suffering from PTSD over the Pandemic and crazy org's antics.
I think I need a vacation from my PTSD.
**
I did try to watch various television shows. Foundation Episode 2 - I went to sleep during again. This does not bode well for this series. It's the second episode that put me to sleep. I think the problem is that I don't buy the premise - which is math is the language that explains the deepest and most important concepts, and how everything is mathematically based. I don't think mathematically - in fact math tends to bore me. My immediate family is tragically bored to tears by math. So, an entire science fiction series that focuses almost entirely on math, and has long speeches about it - is guaranteed to put me to sleep. This explains why I couldn't get into the books.
This episode? I stuck with it until they had this long speech about how the Foundation had to agree on a counting system and there were several counting systems available such as base 10, and base 12, and base 27. And if we couldn't agree on how to count, how could we agree on anything else. And I thought, I don't understand counting systems, and suck at counting...and my brain just wants to sleep for a bit, bye now. I woke up at the end of the episode.
I may give it another chance, I don't know yet.
The Morning Show - is kind of triggering this year. It takes place the three months before COVID happened in NYC. And watching these people kiss, lick each others faces, be in mob scenes, knowing full well they filmed this thing this year, is kind of...disturbing. I made it through the first episode, but spent most of it, cringing at various points.
The Squid Game - well the English dubbing is atrocious, and the subtitles don't fit the dubbing. Also I can't stand the protagonist - he's a pathetic gambling addict. I feel sorry for anyone who cares about him. Gambling addictions I don't understand - I'm not a gambler and I don't like to play games, so I struggle watching things about folks who are, without getting irritated. So there's that. Also it's very violent - but in a frustrating way - in that you are watching the protagonist get beaten up and tortured in a horrendous fashion constantly.
This is the number 1 show on Netflix. And two of my co-workers love it.
I do wonder about folks sometimes.
What If? I did finish streaming this finally. It's not that good. I was kind of annoyed during it. And frustrated. They do a lot of really dark episodes in a row, only the first two are positive. Also the animation is pretty, but kind of clunky motion wise. The characters don't move smoothly or naturally, you can feel the mechanics behind it.
So far the best Marvel Streaming Series were WandaVision and The Falcon and Winter Solider.
(Loki is admittedly forever tainted by my brother telling me about the assholery of the lead actor in it towards a close friend of his. My brother keeps having odd run-ins with famous folks and telling me about them. I dislike Jared Kushner, Lena Durham, Jennifer Warren (Alias), the star of Madam Secretary, Tim Burton, Scean Young, Luke Wilson and Paul Wesley Anderson, Oliver Stone, Karen Black, Steven Spielberg, and now Tom Hiddleston because of my brother.)
Finished Gentleman Jim by Mimi Mathews - it was okay. Did most of it by audio-book. I liked the narrator better than the book. It would have been better if there was a bit more of the highway man and more action, and less "oh I love you, but I can't give up my land and estate..." nonsense. Also, I found it frustrating. Far too much time was spent on irritating villains. It's important to establish interesting villains.
Or interesting obstacles. But the male lead - I rather liked, quite a bit.
So there's that.
Still listening to the Cooking Gene by Michael A Twitty read by the author - but it's kind of boring. He's not the best narrator. It's hard to narrate these things by the way. You really need a voice actor to do it, otherwise it sounds like a monotone at times. Also, he's doing content about genealogy in detail. I don't find genealogy all that interesting. It tends to bore me. But, I'm also not an immigrant or African-American. I'm Northern European, and my ancestors all hailed from the British Isles and Scandinavia, Germany and Belgium - which is rather boring. African-Americans are into genealogy because they want to reclaim their heritage. He does a very good job of explaining that, why they need to do it, and all the resources they can use to do so and how it is done.
After I listened to him for a bit, I understood why MD was so obsessed with it.
**
Random picture of the day..
no subject
Date: 2021-10-04 08:01 pm (UTC)I just can't figure out a workable alternative without joining another service, which I do not want to do.