Y2/D235 - Got haircut
Nov. 6th, 2021 06:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatI went and got my hair cut today. It's been, I don't know, eight months? I got the last one sometime in March or April. I can't remember. Went with a short haircut. Stylist talked me out of doing bangs - reminding me that bangs have to be cut every four weeks.
Stylist: Of course you could always cut them yourself?
Me: Been there, done that. Not happening again.
Stylist: During the pandemic? Everyone did it then -
Me: No, in my twenties or thereabouts, it was not a pleasant experience.
Apparently the salon is closing in January. The owner got tired and is giving up. It got hit with serious water damage during Hurricane Ida. Stylist had issues getting home - her husband had to pick her up - she got stuck because they had to shut down the subways. They ended up driving the wrong way on a street and through a river to get back to New Jersey. She's moving a few blocks down to another salon - Sue something or other, gave me her card, so I can follow her. I finally found a stylist I kind of like, so would prefer to stay with her. I've stopped coloring my hair for the time being - it looks fine, brown with a frost job or gray highlights. According to the stylist, people pay to get that.
No one was wearing a mask in the salon. Apparently NYC's regulations are if everyone is vaccinated - than masks aren't required in indoor establishments, just in public transportation. Also, there were only three people in the salon, the other customer left within fifteen to twenty minutes, and everyone was vaccinated.
It's the first time since 2019 that I've been indoors, without a mask, with people I don't live with. Baby steps.
***
I now know why the voting amendments didn't pass - people didn't understand them. I was upset the voting amendments didn't pass, Wales was upset the Clean Water & Air Act passed because she thought it was overbroad and invasive of folks privacy. I read the act, I don't see it.
***
Soap Opera Fandom aka Soap Twitter... Apparently some guy who is in marketing got upset when a bunch of soap fans ratioed (aka railed on him) for saying some degrading spicy things about their favorite ship (#Sprina, which is basically an interacial teen ship on a daytime soap). They "subtweeted" which I guess means, they talked behind his back about the horrible things he said. So he tweeted that they were cowards, then tweeted that he spoke to his lawyers and they were going to be sued. (I kid you not.) So they were...thinking, okay, I'm getting sued now? For what? I don't have anything you can take. Also how can you even find me? (IPO address...) Also, is it even possible to get sued for defamation and libel for going after a guy on Soap Twitter? He got DM'd by a bunch of soap actors venting about how toxic soap twitter is.
And all I could think was dude, welcome to fandom. Heck welcome to the human race.
Art and Harm of Passive Aggressive Subtweeting
The art of subtweeting isn’t a particularly difficult one. It involves posting something on social media (usually Twitter) that’s most likely negative, most likely about someone you know, but always indirect. No names are mentioned, no handles are included, and the post is passive-aggressive, rarely specific, but hints that someone has offended the original poster. Think things like “I hope you remember what you did,” “Lol. Pathetic,” or maybe even “God, can you stop subtweeting?” Subtweets are supposed to vague, and once it’s out there, a mystery begins, where everyone who sees it begins to scramble and find out who the person is talking about.
Although subtweeting has become a common way of communicating on social media, this doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its negative effects. Because of the mystery that surrounds it, it can cause anyone who’s looking at the post to worry that it’s them for even the briefest of seconds, even if they don’t have any direct relationship with the original poster. And then there are the people who actually know the original poster with an actual reason to be concerned that the post is about them. Subtweeting can cause guilt, increase anxiety, and make the audience feel that they’ve done something wrong, even if they don’t know the person in the first place. Though it isn’t direct, subtweeting can be classified as a form of cyberbullying, and can snowball into larger fights. People who think the post is about them can jump in, the original poster can eventually start getting specific, and the feed can become toxic.
However, people don’t think highly of those who subtweet, despite its frequency. A study has revealed that those who were shown a series of different kinds of tweets had a bad impression of the ones that were classified as subtweets. According to the study, this mostly stems from the fact that the content itself is hateful and that the vagueness is considered to be rude.
While it can feel cathartic at first, expressing on social media that someone has upset you without calling them out, the implications of it, both on you, the person, and your followers, can be negative. Overall, it’s best to avoid the drama on social media, and if someone has upset you, it may be better to speak to them personally.
Uhm, this pre-exists Twitter. I mean we all did it on Voy and Live Journal back in the early 00s, between 2002-2003, and even after that. And it existed long before then - people do it in elementary school. My cousin is going through a difficult divorce right now, or separation - it's not gotten that far yet. And her husband, who she's separated from, is whinging about her on FB. And then people are "referring to her" without stating her name. But my Aunt had it happen to her before the internet existed. I had it happen to me in college and online and in the workplace. It's called..."Gossip" and "bad mouthing". Can you sue people for this? Yes, and no, it's frigging hard to prove and kind of expensive. If I could do it, I'd be a very rich woman by now.
***
It was a pretty day, if chilly. I'm tired. We get to go back to standard time tomorrow. The Canadians online are more upset about it than I am. They hate the idea that it will be dark at 4 pm now. (I get it they live up North.) It will be dark at 4:45 pm in my area. I'm annoyed because when we go back en mass - I'll be going to work in the dark and home in the dark. Although at least the sun will rise just before I reach the first leg of my commute as opposed to when I read the last leg of it. It won't be up when I rise - that's at 5:45am.
I don't care. I don't like Daylight Savings Time, and personally would prefer to stick with Standard Time. They tried to go do Daylight Savings Time full time way back when, apparently, and it didn't fly. Everyone hated it. And they refuse to budge from doing it - because they claim it saves on energy.
***
Did get some interesting advice regarding panic attacks from an unexpected source. (I was watching a soap fandom chat.) They said that the trick was not ask "Why" things were happening, but to understand that they were and move past them. Like don't ask "why is my Dad dying" or "why is my job like this" but just understanding that it is happening and you've no control.
I think the "why" is killing me at the moment, so letting go of that is not a bad idea. Sometimes there's just no answers. Also the way to prevent panic attacks is to keep doing the work - each day. For me that is meditating. Writing. Yoga. Walks. Reading. And breaking it down into small pieces. I thought about my trip at Xmas, and realized I need to do it one step at a time. First tickets. And not think too far ahead or all of it at once.
Same with going back full time at the office - take it a step at a time. Not all at once.
Baby steps. Float, not tread water.
***
Random Photo of the Night...
Stylist: Of course you could always cut them yourself?
Me: Been there, done that. Not happening again.
Stylist: During the pandemic? Everyone did it then -
Me: No, in my twenties or thereabouts, it was not a pleasant experience.
Apparently the salon is closing in January. The owner got tired and is giving up. It got hit with serious water damage during Hurricane Ida. Stylist had issues getting home - her husband had to pick her up - she got stuck because they had to shut down the subways. They ended up driving the wrong way on a street and through a river to get back to New Jersey. She's moving a few blocks down to another salon - Sue something or other, gave me her card, so I can follow her. I finally found a stylist I kind of like, so would prefer to stay with her. I've stopped coloring my hair for the time being - it looks fine, brown with a frost job or gray highlights. According to the stylist, people pay to get that.
No one was wearing a mask in the salon. Apparently NYC's regulations are if everyone is vaccinated - than masks aren't required in indoor establishments, just in public transportation. Also, there were only three people in the salon, the other customer left within fifteen to twenty minutes, and everyone was vaccinated.
It's the first time since 2019 that I've been indoors, without a mask, with people I don't live with. Baby steps.
***
I now know why the voting amendments didn't pass - people didn't understand them. I was upset the voting amendments didn't pass, Wales was upset the Clean Water & Air Act passed because she thought it was overbroad and invasive of folks privacy. I read the act, I don't see it.
***
Soap Opera Fandom aka Soap Twitter... Apparently some guy who is in marketing got upset when a bunch of soap fans ratioed (aka railed on him) for saying some degrading spicy things about their favorite ship (#Sprina, which is basically an interacial teen ship on a daytime soap). They "subtweeted" which I guess means, they talked behind his back about the horrible things he said. So he tweeted that they were cowards, then tweeted that he spoke to his lawyers and they were going to be sued. (I kid you not.) So they were...thinking, okay, I'm getting sued now? For what? I don't have anything you can take. Also how can you even find me? (IPO address...) Also, is it even possible to get sued for defamation and libel for going after a guy on Soap Twitter? He got DM'd by a bunch of soap actors venting about how toxic soap twitter is.
And all I could think was dude, welcome to fandom. Heck welcome to the human race.
Art and Harm of Passive Aggressive Subtweeting
The art of subtweeting isn’t a particularly difficult one. It involves posting something on social media (usually Twitter) that’s most likely negative, most likely about someone you know, but always indirect. No names are mentioned, no handles are included, and the post is passive-aggressive, rarely specific, but hints that someone has offended the original poster. Think things like “I hope you remember what you did,” “Lol. Pathetic,” or maybe even “God, can you stop subtweeting?” Subtweets are supposed to vague, and once it’s out there, a mystery begins, where everyone who sees it begins to scramble and find out who the person is talking about.
Although subtweeting has become a common way of communicating on social media, this doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its negative effects. Because of the mystery that surrounds it, it can cause anyone who’s looking at the post to worry that it’s them for even the briefest of seconds, even if they don’t have any direct relationship with the original poster. And then there are the people who actually know the original poster with an actual reason to be concerned that the post is about them. Subtweeting can cause guilt, increase anxiety, and make the audience feel that they’ve done something wrong, even if they don’t know the person in the first place. Though it isn’t direct, subtweeting can be classified as a form of cyberbullying, and can snowball into larger fights. People who think the post is about them can jump in, the original poster can eventually start getting specific, and the feed can become toxic.
However, people don’t think highly of those who subtweet, despite its frequency. A study has revealed that those who were shown a series of different kinds of tweets had a bad impression of the ones that were classified as subtweets. According to the study, this mostly stems from the fact that the content itself is hateful and that the vagueness is considered to be rude.
While it can feel cathartic at first, expressing on social media that someone has upset you without calling them out, the implications of it, both on you, the person, and your followers, can be negative. Overall, it’s best to avoid the drama on social media, and if someone has upset you, it may be better to speak to them personally.
Uhm, this pre-exists Twitter. I mean we all did it on Voy and Live Journal back in the early 00s, between 2002-2003, and even after that. And it existed long before then - people do it in elementary school. My cousin is going through a difficult divorce right now, or separation - it's not gotten that far yet. And her husband, who she's separated from, is whinging about her on FB. And then people are "referring to her" without stating her name. But my Aunt had it happen to her before the internet existed. I had it happen to me in college and online and in the workplace. It's called..."Gossip" and "bad mouthing". Can you sue people for this? Yes, and no, it's frigging hard to prove and kind of expensive. If I could do it, I'd be a very rich woman by now.
***
It was a pretty day, if chilly. I'm tired. We get to go back to standard time tomorrow. The Canadians online are more upset about it than I am. They hate the idea that it will be dark at 4 pm now. (I get it they live up North.) It will be dark at 4:45 pm in my area. I'm annoyed because when we go back en mass - I'll be going to work in the dark and home in the dark. Although at least the sun will rise just before I reach the first leg of my commute as opposed to when I read the last leg of it. It won't be up when I rise - that's at 5:45am.
I don't care. I don't like Daylight Savings Time, and personally would prefer to stick with Standard Time. They tried to go do Daylight Savings Time full time way back when, apparently, and it didn't fly. Everyone hated it. And they refuse to budge from doing it - because they claim it saves on energy.
***
Did get some interesting advice regarding panic attacks from an unexpected source. (I was watching a soap fandom chat.) They said that the trick was not ask "Why" things were happening, but to understand that they were and move past them. Like don't ask "why is my Dad dying" or "why is my job like this" but just understanding that it is happening and you've no control.
I think the "why" is killing me at the moment, so letting go of that is not a bad idea. Sometimes there's just no answers. Also the way to prevent panic attacks is to keep doing the work - each day. For me that is meditating. Writing. Yoga. Walks. Reading. And breaking it down into small pieces. I thought about my trip at Xmas, and realized I need to do it one step at a time. First tickets. And not think too far ahead or all of it at once.
Same with going back full time at the office - take it a step at a time. Not all at once.
Baby steps. Float, not tread water.
***
Random Photo of the Night...
no subject
Date: 2021-11-08 04:32 am (UTC)Yes. Acceptance is necessary but getting there is hard.