More drabble...
Apr. 3rd, 2005 12:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkat[Finished watching Being Julia and After the Sunset. Recommend the former, skip the latter - tries to be a cat and mouse/buddy movie but doesn't quite pull it off. The former reminds me a great deal of the flick All About Eve, except I think Eve may be better. Was a nice little character sketch though.]
Okay continuing with the story...
Buffy didn't know what to say to him. She stood there awkwardly, just a few feet away, when he turned towards her.
"Do you ever regret it?" He asked.
"Regret what?"
He shrugged, looking back at the wall, then towards her again. "What happened between us? What happened between you and Liam? Not just marrying old solider boy and riding off into the bleeding sunset, which you might have done if I hadn't...interfered. Bolloxing things up for you."
She sighed, moving towards his windows and staring out at the darkness that lay behind them. Wondering if he missed being able to see in it. "No." She shook her head. "Way I see it? It's over and there's no changing it. Riley? Our relationship was doomed from the start. We didn't quite fit. Would have broken up anyway. No sunset was ever in our future. But to be honest is it in anyone's?" She turned to face him. "You dating anyone, Will?"
"Are you?"
"Not for some time." She touched the glass and drew a finger down one of the cool panes. Was that a deer she glimpsed in the moonlight? She couldn't tell.
"Haven't really wanted to. Been happy with my own company, that of my friends.
Did have a marriage proposal once." She smiled remembering it, how the boy had gotten on his knee and offered her the ring. But he was a boy, even at 26.
"Didn't work out."
"Sorry. I wanted that for you...the picket fence, the nice house, the kids,
the ..."
She laughed or rather snorted, through her nose. "Why? Because it was your fantasy?" She turned to face him, tilted her head to the side and examined his face, lit by the track lighting above them. The rest of his body in shadow, as if a spotlight were on them and they stood alone on some stage. "Because, it was never mine. I lived that life, Mom, Dad, car, cool clothes, cool boyfriend - only to discover how rotten it was underneath, how fake. As a kid, sure, I wanted it. Normal girl. Normal life. It wasn't until I got to Rome, got the normal life I dreamed of, got the cool boyfriends, no more slaying all the time, that I realized it wasn't much different than when I was slaying. Life's life, you deal with it. Hang on to the good times, let go of the bad. All you can do really."
He was silent. For a while they just stared at one another, the only noise, the creaking of the house around them and their own breathing. He was the first to look away, moving past her to the windows. "So you really have no regrets? Nothing?"
"Sure I have regrets - I just don't," she paused, irritated with where the conversation was going. She'd never been fond of talking over this stuff. Going over and over it like a raw wound. When Dawn did that - she used to yell at her to "get over it." "I don't see what the use is in rehashing them. Can't change the past."
"Would you, though? Change it?"
She shrugged. "Don't know. Never really thought much on it." She stepped beside him, rested her hand on the sill, and leaned her cheek against the glass so she could see his eyes, half hidden by the shadows. He'd pressed his forehead, she saw against it and was idly tapping the glass with an index finger. "Would you, Will? And if you did? What good would it do?"
"Don't know, figure save a few lives maybe. What you think."
"Also maybe kill a few. The thing of it is, you don't really know do you? I go back in time and decide to fall for Xander instead of Angel - what happens?
You never get a soul, Angel never goes to LA, Darla lives...or maybe it all happens anyways, except Xander's probably toast."
"Toast?"
"Never had much luck with human boyfriends back then. They tended to get killed or freaked. Xan talks a good game, but he also is missing an eye because of me."
"Not your fault."
"Please. He wouldn't have been there if it weren't for me. It is my fault. It was my plan. Even Xan knows that."
"Was my fault just as much as it was yours."
"And how is that exactly? Wasn't your stupid plan, was it? If I recall you were amongst the naysayers."
"I was there, if I'd.."
"What? Fought off Caleb better? He took out two slayers and five slayerettes.
Somehow I doubt one vampire could have bested him. It was a dumb plan to take you all in there, blind like that. But I was young and I'd gotten cocky. Learned my lesson. But unfortunately at Xander's expense."
"He didn't have to come."
"That's what Xan keeps saying."
"How's he doing by the way? The Xan-man? He come out of the closet yet?"
"What?" She stepped back from the glass and stared at him. He looked at her innocently, but she saw a mischievous glint in his eyes and a slight twist of his mouth, as if he were suppressing amusement. "Xander is not gay...not that there would be anything wrong with it if he were. But he's not."
"Right. You know that because..."
"Well he has girlfriends. Lots of girlfriends."
"Right." He shook his head, clearly amused. "Forget I said anything. You know him better than I do." He passed her and picked up a bottle she hadn't noticed before on a side table and poured himself a glass of water. At least she assumed it was water, he'd mentioned that he no longer drank alcohol.
"Why would you think he was gay?"
"No reason. Really, forget I mentioned it. What's he doing now? He still trolling after slayers? Or he finally start work on that comic he was going on about?"
She stared at him in open-mouthed astonishment, resting her back against the windows.
Will laughed at her expression. "He did? Good for him. Told him he should just write the things. Was driving me bonkers talking about it all the time."
She closed her eyes and smiled, then slowly shook her head, remembering now. That's right, she thought, they'd lived together for a while at her coaxing. Which made the gay comment even more disturbing. She tried to picture Andrew and Xander together and was drawing a blank. "He and Andrew are writing them now," catching his knowing and somewhat irritating smile, she added. "No, they aren't living together. Andrew lives in Rome still and Xander is somewhere in England, last we chatted."
He shook his head. "You Scoobies...you certainly get around. Must be all those years stuck in Sunnyhell."
"You know, Xander has a theory..."
He scoffed. "Xander always had a theory, usually some hair-brained one."
"You'd like this - he thinks God is a crazed comic book writer with a musical theater obsession."
"Eh? Who'd have thunk it. Not so hair-brained. Gotta tell Charley boy that one. He'd get a right kick out of it. Huge fan of comics, Charley. Annie keeps pestering him to get rid of the stuff he's accumulated in the last five years alone. Liam'd like the musical theater angle - keeps pestering me to go with him to Les Miz. Told him I'd already seen it in the Mother Country. Once, trust me, was enough."
[Off to return my flicks and eat me some lunch.]
Okay continuing with the story...
Buffy didn't know what to say to him. She stood there awkwardly, just a few feet away, when he turned towards her.
"Do you ever regret it?" He asked.
"Regret what?"
He shrugged, looking back at the wall, then towards her again. "What happened between us? What happened between you and Liam? Not just marrying old solider boy and riding off into the bleeding sunset, which you might have done if I hadn't...interfered. Bolloxing things up for you."
She sighed, moving towards his windows and staring out at the darkness that lay behind them. Wondering if he missed being able to see in it. "No." She shook her head. "Way I see it? It's over and there's no changing it. Riley? Our relationship was doomed from the start. We didn't quite fit. Would have broken up anyway. No sunset was ever in our future. But to be honest is it in anyone's?" She turned to face him. "You dating anyone, Will?"
"Are you?"
"Not for some time." She touched the glass and drew a finger down one of the cool panes. Was that a deer she glimpsed in the moonlight? She couldn't tell.
"Haven't really wanted to. Been happy with my own company, that of my friends.
Did have a marriage proposal once." She smiled remembering it, how the boy had gotten on his knee and offered her the ring. But he was a boy, even at 26.
"Didn't work out."
"Sorry. I wanted that for you...the picket fence, the nice house, the kids,
the ..."
She laughed or rather snorted, through her nose. "Why? Because it was your fantasy?" She turned to face him, tilted her head to the side and examined his face, lit by the track lighting above them. The rest of his body in shadow, as if a spotlight were on them and they stood alone on some stage. "Because, it was never mine. I lived that life, Mom, Dad, car, cool clothes, cool boyfriend - only to discover how rotten it was underneath, how fake. As a kid, sure, I wanted it. Normal girl. Normal life. It wasn't until I got to Rome, got the normal life I dreamed of, got the cool boyfriends, no more slaying all the time, that I realized it wasn't much different than when I was slaying. Life's life, you deal with it. Hang on to the good times, let go of the bad. All you can do really."
He was silent. For a while they just stared at one another, the only noise, the creaking of the house around them and their own breathing. He was the first to look away, moving past her to the windows. "So you really have no regrets? Nothing?"
"Sure I have regrets - I just don't," she paused, irritated with where the conversation was going. She'd never been fond of talking over this stuff. Going over and over it like a raw wound. When Dawn did that - she used to yell at her to "get over it." "I don't see what the use is in rehashing them. Can't change the past."
"Would you, though? Change it?"
She shrugged. "Don't know. Never really thought much on it." She stepped beside him, rested her hand on the sill, and leaned her cheek against the glass so she could see his eyes, half hidden by the shadows. He'd pressed his forehead, she saw against it and was idly tapping the glass with an index finger. "Would you, Will? And if you did? What good would it do?"
"Don't know, figure save a few lives maybe. What you think."
"Also maybe kill a few. The thing of it is, you don't really know do you? I go back in time and decide to fall for Xander instead of Angel - what happens?
You never get a soul, Angel never goes to LA, Darla lives...or maybe it all happens anyways, except Xander's probably toast."
"Toast?"
"Never had much luck with human boyfriends back then. They tended to get killed or freaked. Xan talks a good game, but he also is missing an eye because of me."
"Not your fault."
"Please. He wouldn't have been there if it weren't for me. It is my fault. It was my plan. Even Xan knows that."
"Was my fault just as much as it was yours."
"And how is that exactly? Wasn't your stupid plan, was it? If I recall you were amongst the naysayers."
"I was there, if I'd.."
"What? Fought off Caleb better? He took out two slayers and five slayerettes.
Somehow I doubt one vampire could have bested him. It was a dumb plan to take you all in there, blind like that. But I was young and I'd gotten cocky. Learned my lesson. But unfortunately at Xander's expense."
"He didn't have to come."
"That's what Xan keeps saying."
"How's he doing by the way? The Xan-man? He come out of the closet yet?"
"What?" She stepped back from the glass and stared at him. He looked at her innocently, but she saw a mischievous glint in his eyes and a slight twist of his mouth, as if he were suppressing amusement. "Xander is not gay...not that there would be anything wrong with it if he were. But he's not."
"Right. You know that because..."
"Well he has girlfriends. Lots of girlfriends."
"Right." He shook his head, clearly amused. "Forget I said anything. You know him better than I do." He passed her and picked up a bottle she hadn't noticed before on a side table and poured himself a glass of water. At least she assumed it was water, he'd mentioned that he no longer drank alcohol.
"Why would you think he was gay?"
"No reason. Really, forget I mentioned it. What's he doing now? He still trolling after slayers? Or he finally start work on that comic he was going on about?"
She stared at him in open-mouthed astonishment, resting her back against the windows.
Will laughed at her expression. "He did? Good for him. Told him he should just write the things. Was driving me bonkers talking about it all the time."
She closed her eyes and smiled, then slowly shook her head, remembering now. That's right, she thought, they'd lived together for a while at her coaxing. Which made the gay comment even more disturbing. She tried to picture Andrew and Xander together and was drawing a blank. "He and Andrew are writing them now," catching his knowing and somewhat irritating smile, she added. "No, they aren't living together. Andrew lives in Rome still and Xander is somewhere in England, last we chatted."
He shook his head. "You Scoobies...you certainly get around. Must be all those years stuck in Sunnyhell."
"You know, Xander has a theory..."
He scoffed. "Xander always had a theory, usually some hair-brained one."
"You'd like this - he thinks God is a crazed comic book writer with a musical theater obsession."
"Eh? Who'd have thunk it. Not so hair-brained. Gotta tell Charley boy that one. He'd get a right kick out of it. Huge fan of comics, Charley. Annie keeps pestering him to get rid of the stuff he's accumulated in the last five years alone. Liam'd like the musical theater angle - keeps pestering me to go with him to Les Miz. Told him I'd already seen it in the Mother Country. Once, trust me, was enough."
[Off to return my flicks and eat me some lunch.]
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no subject
Date: 2005-04-03 12:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-03 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-03 02:12 pm (UTC)Oh that's hilarious - considering they rejected the essays I submitted to them. I submitted two by the way: The one on Fatals and the one on Spike.
Well rejected might be the wrong word. The deal with Slayage is - you submit. You get a response that they got it and will review it. You wait.
You follow-up. They *never* respond.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-03 02:24 pm (UTC)