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Mar. 2nd, 2023 09:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatAfter a bit of a break, I've been listening to Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, Spare. And I figured out the title thing and why he goes by "Wales" so often in the book. Apparently everyone who isn't Queen or King or Consort, is the Prince and Princess of Wales, that's the indicator of next in line. He kind of refers to Wales as their "titled surname" and they all go by it or the public refers to them that way, as do the body guards, the staff, teachers, class mate. And he makes a joke out of the multiple titles - that they all have two to three titles. And he loses track of them. They are all meaningless - apparently - from his perspective.
Harry is interesting. He makes fun of the British, and the whole Royal Family thing, and depicts how incredibly toxic the "co-dependent relationship" is between the Royal Family and the British public, with the conservative press exacerbating the matter. This book is a scathing denouncement of the conservative British Media Circus. Specifically Murdoch. It is also a scathing denouncement of the politics of the Royal Family and Britain's relationship with it.
In the latest chapter, he's discussing the difficulties with charitable volunteer work. Apparently they compete over it - and the press rips them apart if they aren't doing enough. Charles (PA) doesn't want Willy (William) to do any charity work that will take the spotlight off of Charles and Camilla or push them off the front page. In turn Willy doesn't want Harry to do any of his charity work. At one point Willy tells him that "Africa" is his, and Harry had the armed forces. Poor Harry is trying desperately to find something to care about beyond solidering, since that has ended.
Harry: I love Africa, and it needs to be saved - I'll go help them save the Elephants and Rhinos...I got the contacts.
William: No, you don't. That's MINE. Go do the solidering thing.
Harry's mates: Uhm why can't both of you do it?
Harry: No clue. But the press is honding Willy on the whole doing enough bit and he can't take away Pa's thunder.
Dear god. And I fought I had issues with my brother. We get along famously in comparison to Harry and his brother. I'm beginning to realize no one gets along beautifully with their siblings. Rivalry exists no matter what. I blame parents. They inevitably pit us against each other, without necessarily intending to. I see it in all families. And they are all completely unaware of it. It's amusing really. People with pets seem to do it to - play favorites. Let's face it - sometimes you prefer one person to another. It happens. With the Royal Family - multiple that by a 1000, because you have a built in hierarchy, plus the nasty British Press hounding every member and constantly asking if they are jealous or envious of each other, and the British Public that has ruthlessly romanticized the royal family historically - I blame the historians who tend to focus on the bits of history they like and ignore the rest. (History, my father used to tell me, depends solely on the veracity of the historian and how they choose to remember and write about it. In short, completely factual and accurate? It's not.)
Harry's memoir is somewhat self-deprecating. He details his bouts of mental illness - anxiety and panic attacks, agrophobia, PTSD, and depression.
Right now, he's talking about his work in Africa. (Apparently he told William to fuck off, and did it anyhow. LOL! ) He goes into detail about how he helped surgeons do reconstructive facial surgery on a Rhino after poachers removed her horn. And how they worked to save a Lioness and her cub, and barely saved either. Also how horrible the poaching situation is in certain regions of Africa. Not to mention, how all his mother's work to end the landmines in Botswana, which made great progress in the 1990s, has gone downhill in the 00s, long after her death.
Oh, and he prefers Americans or Yanks to the British. Finds them to be more honest, up front, no-nonsense, willing to emote, and friendlier. Also not as critical and full of themselves. Ah, Harry, this is not going to go down well across the pond in your homeland. You really do plan on staying State Side for the remainder of your life, don't you?
Like I said, it is a scathing denouncement of the British and their toxic relationship with the Royal Family, so too is The Crown. Both are rather scathing in that way. I can see why he's estranged from his family at the moment.
In other news...Lando visited the office. Why people who retire from Crazy Workplace feel the need to revisit Crazy Workplace shortly thereafter is beyond me. He took Chidi out to lunch, tried to take me out - but it was short notice, I'd brought lunch and was busy with other things. So passed. He needs to give me fore-warning. Also my belly was a bit upset due to the 2,000 mg metroformin I'm taking. I wanted to control what I ate.
Lando is doing very well. He looked spiffy. He had a case in Family Court that he to deal with. He's a good lawyer. One of the best that I've met.
But I don't think he does much with individual employment law unfortunately. I mentioned this to the A's, and they retorted that was a shame or he'd get a ton of business just through us.
So I mentioned to Gabe and JD, that I'd been told (by folks online, didn't specify because how would I?) that Adams Chunky Unsalted Peanut Butter was the best brand.
Gabe: Ugh. Chunky. No.
JD: Sounds way too healthy. Also, it probably costs a mint.
ME: I don't know, I've never seen it.
Gabe: Probably have to churn it (she demonstrates). And the chunks get stuck in your teeth. Wait, we should ask MF, he's the expert on peanut butter.
MF: I use chunky for smores sometimes, it's really good for that.
Gabe: yeah, I guess I can see that. Heated, wouldn't melt as fast.
Matt: tastes delicious.
JD: I miss peanut butter cups. (He looks pointedly, actually we all look pointedly at Matt's candy stash - Matt is skinny, young and healthy. Why is it skinny young healthy people have candy stashes open on their desk that they never eat?)
See? People have strong opinions about food.
I cannot do peanut butter cups any longer. I can barely do Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate. I'm slowly moving towards 70% dark. Basically keep the chocolate and get rid of as much of the sugar and milk properties as possible.
I had eliminated peanuts previously. And haven't eaten much of them in years. Now, kind of trying them again...to see if I can do legumes. There's so many things I can't do - which is why I'm not bothering with a food doctor. It would be a nightmare - it always is. Those only work - if you don't have multiple food sensitivities. I can't do artificial sweetners. Aspartme gives me migraines. Erithoyle makes me ill.
Here's a list of things I've eliminated:
eggplant, potatoes, rice, corn (for the most part - I'm playing with it, but corn on the cob doesn't digest at all, and corn-bread has not agreed with me), wheat (ceiliac - it is gastronitestinal suicide), rye (same), barely (same), tomatoes (sparingly - night shade and acidic), brussel sprouts (ew, and doesn't digest well), chickpeas (doesn't always agree and gassy), beans (severe gas pains - so sparingly), lentils (gas pains and digestive issues), buckwheat (doesn't digest well), dairy (sparingly - too much will glut my system and send up cholestrol), fats (don't digest well - so sparingly), pineapple (too sweet - so sparingly), califlower (digestive system hates it for some bizarre reason), broccoli (better - but gassy), green beans (careful - sometimes makes me ill - maybe had too many)...it goes on. I don't know about you? But I got tired of listing that..let alone reading it.
I also can't do anything with gravy, casseroles, stews, or heavy meats. Roast makes me ill. I've always despised casseroles and stews - most likely due to the gravy and thickeners used. A lot of soaps are out - I have to be careful and check what's in them or make it myself.
I don't eat pork outside of bacon at all. I can't eat a lot of red meat - only filet mignon or soft steak, and maybe hamburger meat. I can't do pasta. I have gluten free ravioli in the fridge - but I'm not sure I can eat it - and if I do, it will have to be with pesto, the tomato sauce no longer agrees with me.
Nutritionists think I'm nuts. I eat fruit - berries, and green apple, sparingly. Not too much.
I don't drink any fruit juice. Caved and bought some blood orange juice - freshly squeezed, but afraid to drink it. (Favorite was grapefruit - but can't have it anyhow - due to high blood pressure meds.) I don't drink sugar or sweetened drinks at all. Haven't in years. I have tea, water, and on occasion hot coco (unsweetened), with half n half.
Yogurt - I've reintroduced into my diet - but only plain greek yogurt. I might do it with nuts, fruit, or chocolate. I don't sweeten it.
Pancakes made with almond flour - I can do, with a touch of maple syrup, and bacon, but also sparingly. Oatmeal - I do, Purely Elizabeth unsweetened, steel cut oats, with flax, chia, and amaranth (ancient grains) and half n half. That sends the blood sugar up to 198 or 200, then it goes down again by the time I get to work. I may switch to yogurt and nuts.
I need some carbs - just to get to work and start the day, also it gives me fiber - which I need.
I'm picky about salad. I cannot do iceberg lettuce (glass on stomach), sparing on romaine, instead it's power greens (argula, spinach, chard, bok choy, mustard greens, dandlion, etc). And I make my own. With celery, cucumbers, green onions, occasionally radishes, black olives...and some sort of protein. Usually chicken slices. Lately herring in source cream with onions. Moving more and more towards fish, but less with shell-fish, which is almost too rich.
Got Harvest Chilli from Trader Joes - this had pumpkin puree (pumpkin is good for blood sugar and digestive systems), peppers (not as good, but didn't bother me - since not that many), butternut squash (not that much so fine), black beans, and a few other vegetables. It was vegan chili. I added cheese and almond flour crackers to it.
I shouldn't do too much cheese - but it's among the few dairy I can do. I can't do too much in the way of milk - just add it to things. And I got to be careful with how much, or it will cause severe constipation.
See? I'm experimenting. If it hurts? It's gone. If it doesn't it stays. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what made my skin itchy and break out in hives. I think it could be a combo of things? Maybe chocolate? Maybe the cinnamon? I hope its not the apple? I've had the chocolate and cinnamon recently...and nothing happened. IDK. Calmed down now, at least. Just a brief reaction, and mild. Felt like a few stinging bites here and there.
Well, that was exhausting. I've been doing the above for the last eighteen years. So, it's not new. Ever since 2005, when I got diagnosed with gluten intolerance. It gets easier. I mean I've not had soda or pop for over eighteen years. I've not added sugar to any drink since the 20th Century. I don't add nor have added sugar to cereal since the early 00s, and I've been off glutens since 2005. I've already eliminated 90% of the problem candidates - I don't eat anything processed. And I've never liked casseroles or stews. I've always despised sandwiches - they've made me ill my entire life - probably because of the ceiliac. I refused to eat them as a kid. I was eating figurines for lunch. If my mother made me a sandwich, I wouldn't eat it - I'd eat everything else. I remember telling a friend once that for some reason or other sandwiches made me gag or resulted in a gag reflux. This was in the 1990s and early 00s, before I was diagnosed with ceiliac. My friend looked at me and said, maybe you are gluten-intolerant. I dismissed it. I could eat pizza. (But no, I didn't like the crust, and only did thin crust pizza, and often tore it off the crust, and didn't like cake, just icing, and preferred pies.) Years later, when I told her I was diagnosed ceiliac, she said - "I knew it! I told you so."
What I'm slowly learning is to change how I think about food. To eat to live instead of living to eat. To not use food to reward myself. To not see it as a treat. Enjoy it. But in moderation. Stay away from anything I could binge on. And go for savory over sweet.
***
Today, I almost fell asleep while doing the required "training module". Co-workers were understanding. I wasn't. I mean, it should have kept me awake.
Beyonce: Yes, but it's a training module. If I were your supervisor and I walked by and saw what you were doing, and snoozing - and realized it was training module, I'd totally understand.
The training module was on "Gender-Based Violence and Domestic Violence in the Workplace" - it was for managers/supervisors and human resources staff. Why I was forced to take it, I've no clue. But wasn't opposed to it either.
It's part of the Governor's commission on Domestic Violence. They have a new department that is handles Domestic Violence issues and this new law/policy was passed in 2022 - against Gender-Based Violence, which includes sexual violence, sexual harrassment in the workplace, and domestic violence. Throughout the module they warn you about the content, provide resources to contact if you are or have been a victim of this type of violence.
According to the training module - which I had to complete prior to March 31, 2022 - NY State is the only State that has enacted this policy and law (I doubt that). They are treating me like a manager/supervisor, whether I'm one or not. I should be one - I'm making that salary and technically have the responsibilities of one. Just not all of them. I'm just too smart to push in that direction.
New York is admittedly the most progressive State in the country in regards to human rights advocacy. It's among the many reasons I live in New York. I got tired of living in backwards states, like ahem Kansas and Missouri and Colorado and Pennsylvania. It was either NY or Chicago, Illinois. And NY was more temperate in climate, had better public transportation, my brother was moving here, my college friend was here, and it had an ocean, mountains, near by, and more trees. Plus I am not a midwesterner. Me and the midwest have never gotten along that well. I stick out like a sore thumb. While in NYC, I blend in.
At least it was somewhat interactive. But listening to an HR person drone on about well anything is sleep inducing.
But, I was gratified to see them addressing the issue.
It's a depressing module. Statistically?
1. 1 in 4 women are raped within their lifetimes, 1 in 3 transgender are raped or attacked sexually within their lifetimes, 1 in 33 men are attacked within their lifetimes.
2. 8 million woman yearly
3. 8 million lose their jobs
4. 8 million dollars lost
5. Out of 1,000 cases brought to trial for sexual violence? 995 perpetrators go free.
The human race is too violent for its own good. Also domestic violence is shown in the module to be about power and control. That it isn't just physical, but also mental and emotional violence. That the abuser asserts control over the victims actions. Gaslights them.
The module was kind of brutal in how it detailed the abuse. Not easy to watch at all.
I felt guilty for dozing off during it. Although it wasn't during the interactive bits or the bits where women were doing their testimonials.
Domestic and sexual violence are pervasive in American society and can have a negative impact in the workplace.
They cost businesses in increased health care costs, lost productivity, increased absenteeism, and increased employee turnover. One study found that that the short-term economic cost of lost productivity because of intimate partner violence, sexual violence, or stalking over victims’ lifetimes is $730 per victim, or $110 billion across the U.S. population, when victims lose time from work and education (Peterson et al., 2016)*.
Not only is there a cost to business, but there is a risk of violence at the workplace, to the survivor and to co-workers. The abusive partner's stalking, threats, harassment, intimidation, and physical violence can follow a victim to work.
Here’s how workplaces can support safety:
* Attend a domestic violence 101 or sexual violence 101 training so that your employees recognize the warning signs of abuse or contact opdvtraining@opdv.ny.gov for a customized gender-based violence and the workplace training.
* Implement a domestic and sexual violence policy in your workplace. Reach out to the NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence for more information about model policies.
* Publicize resources that are available for survivors like this poster (also available in: Español, 한국어 번역, русский язык, 中文翻譯, বাংলা অনুবাদ, and Kreyòl Ayisyen).
I've been an advocate off and on during my lifetime. In undergrad, I attended rape seminars, and wrote newspaper articles about sexual violence on the campus and how to fight against it. Prior to law school, I worked with Legal Aid of Western Missouri in issuing orders of protection, in law school - I provided information to lawyers doing legal research on the subject (from my time working with legal aid), post law school, I volunteered at a women's shelter, and attended a seminar on domestic violence, and in NYC, I participated in producing, directing, and acting in the Vagina Monologues - which raised money for Victims of Emotional and Physical Abuse. It's not much, but it is something. A dent. That's all I've been able to do my entire life in regards to human rights advocacy is make a tiny dent.
I find it frustrating. But I've also made certain that I only join organizations and workplaces that further my values in this regard or at least try to. So that's something, I guess?
I don't know.
Off to bed.
Harry is interesting. He makes fun of the British, and the whole Royal Family thing, and depicts how incredibly toxic the "co-dependent relationship" is between the Royal Family and the British public, with the conservative press exacerbating the matter. This book is a scathing denouncement of the conservative British Media Circus. Specifically Murdoch. It is also a scathing denouncement of the politics of the Royal Family and Britain's relationship with it.
In the latest chapter, he's discussing the difficulties with charitable volunteer work. Apparently they compete over it - and the press rips them apart if they aren't doing enough. Charles (PA) doesn't want Willy (William) to do any charity work that will take the spotlight off of Charles and Camilla or push them off the front page. In turn Willy doesn't want Harry to do any of his charity work. At one point Willy tells him that "Africa" is his, and Harry had the armed forces. Poor Harry is trying desperately to find something to care about beyond solidering, since that has ended.
Harry: I love Africa, and it needs to be saved - I'll go help them save the Elephants and Rhinos...I got the contacts.
William: No, you don't. That's MINE. Go do the solidering thing.
Harry's mates: Uhm why can't both of you do it?
Harry: No clue. But the press is honding Willy on the whole doing enough bit and he can't take away Pa's thunder.
Dear god. And I fought I had issues with my brother. We get along famously in comparison to Harry and his brother. I'm beginning to realize no one gets along beautifully with their siblings. Rivalry exists no matter what. I blame parents. They inevitably pit us against each other, without necessarily intending to. I see it in all families. And they are all completely unaware of it. It's amusing really. People with pets seem to do it to - play favorites. Let's face it - sometimes you prefer one person to another. It happens. With the Royal Family - multiple that by a 1000, because you have a built in hierarchy, plus the nasty British Press hounding every member and constantly asking if they are jealous or envious of each other, and the British Public that has ruthlessly romanticized the royal family historically - I blame the historians who tend to focus on the bits of history they like and ignore the rest. (History, my father used to tell me, depends solely on the veracity of the historian and how they choose to remember and write about it. In short, completely factual and accurate? It's not.)
Harry's memoir is somewhat self-deprecating. He details his bouts of mental illness - anxiety and panic attacks, agrophobia, PTSD, and depression.
Right now, he's talking about his work in Africa. (Apparently he told William to fuck off, and did it anyhow. LOL! ) He goes into detail about how he helped surgeons do reconstructive facial surgery on a Rhino after poachers removed her horn. And how they worked to save a Lioness and her cub, and barely saved either. Also how horrible the poaching situation is in certain regions of Africa. Not to mention, how all his mother's work to end the landmines in Botswana, which made great progress in the 1990s, has gone downhill in the 00s, long after her death.
Oh, and he prefers Americans or Yanks to the British. Finds them to be more honest, up front, no-nonsense, willing to emote, and friendlier. Also not as critical and full of themselves. Ah, Harry, this is not going to go down well across the pond in your homeland. You really do plan on staying State Side for the remainder of your life, don't you?
Like I said, it is a scathing denouncement of the British and their toxic relationship with the Royal Family, so too is The Crown. Both are rather scathing in that way. I can see why he's estranged from his family at the moment.
In other news...Lando visited the office. Why people who retire from Crazy Workplace feel the need to revisit Crazy Workplace shortly thereafter is beyond me. He took Chidi out to lunch, tried to take me out - but it was short notice, I'd brought lunch and was busy with other things. So passed. He needs to give me fore-warning. Also my belly was a bit upset due to the 2,000 mg metroformin I'm taking. I wanted to control what I ate.
Lando is doing very well. He looked spiffy. He had a case in Family Court that he to deal with. He's a good lawyer. One of the best that I've met.
But I don't think he does much with individual employment law unfortunately. I mentioned this to the A's, and they retorted that was a shame or he'd get a ton of business just through us.
So I mentioned to Gabe and JD, that I'd been told (by folks online, didn't specify because how would I?) that Adams Chunky Unsalted Peanut Butter was the best brand.
Gabe: Ugh. Chunky. No.
JD: Sounds way too healthy. Also, it probably costs a mint.
ME: I don't know, I've never seen it.
Gabe: Probably have to churn it (she demonstrates). And the chunks get stuck in your teeth. Wait, we should ask MF, he's the expert on peanut butter.
MF: I use chunky for smores sometimes, it's really good for that.
Gabe: yeah, I guess I can see that. Heated, wouldn't melt as fast.
Matt: tastes delicious.
JD: I miss peanut butter cups. (He looks pointedly, actually we all look pointedly at Matt's candy stash - Matt is skinny, young and healthy. Why is it skinny young healthy people have candy stashes open on their desk that they never eat?)
See? People have strong opinions about food.
I cannot do peanut butter cups any longer. I can barely do Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate. I'm slowly moving towards 70% dark. Basically keep the chocolate and get rid of as much of the sugar and milk properties as possible.
I had eliminated peanuts previously. And haven't eaten much of them in years. Now, kind of trying them again...to see if I can do legumes. There's so many things I can't do - which is why I'm not bothering with a food doctor. It would be a nightmare - it always is. Those only work - if you don't have multiple food sensitivities. I can't do artificial sweetners. Aspartme gives me migraines. Erithoyle makes me ill.
Here's a list of things I've eliminated:
eggplant, potatoes, rice, corn (for the most part - I'm playing with it, but corn on the cob doesn't digest at all, and corn-bread has not agreed with me), wheat (ceiliac - it is gastronitestinal suicide), rye (same), barely (same), tomatoes (sparingly - night shade and acidic), brussel sprouts (ew, and doesn't digest well), chickpeas (doesn't always agree and gassy), beans (severe gas pains - so sparingly), lentils (gas pains and digestive issues), buckwheat (doesn't digest well), dairy (sparingly - too much will glut my system and send up cholestrol), fats (don't digest well - so sparingly), pineapple (too sweet - so sparingly), califlower (digestive system hates it for some bizarre reason), broccoli (better - but gassy), green beans (careful - sometimes makes me ill - maybe had too many)...it goes on. I don't know about you? But I got tired of listing that..let alone reading it.
I also can't do anything with gravy, casseroles, stews, or heavy meats. Roast makes me ill. I've always despised casseroles and stews - most likely due to the gravy and thickeners used. A lot of soaps are out - I have to be careful and check what's in them or make it myself.
I don't eat pork outside of bacon at all. I can't eat a lot of red meat - only filet mignon or soft steak, and maybe hamburger meat. I can't do pasta. I have gluten free ravioli in the fridge - but I'm not sure I can eat it - and if I do, it will have to be with pesto, the tomato sauce no longer agrees with me.
Nutritionists think I'm nuts. I eat fruit - berries, and green apple, sparingly. Not too much.
I don't drink any fruit juice. Caved and bought some blood orange juice - freshly squeezed, but afraid to drink it. (Favorite was grapefruit - but can't have it anyhow - due to high blood pressure meds.) I don't drink sugar or sweetened drinks at all. Haven't in years. I have tea, water, and on occasion hot coco (unsweetened), with half n half.
Yogurt - I've reintroduced into my diet - but only plain greek yogurt. I might do it with nuts, fruit, or chocolate. I don't sweeten it.
Pancakes made with almond flour - I can do, with a touch of maple syrup, and bacon, but also sparingly. Oatmeal - I do, Purely Elizabeth unsweetened, steel cut oats, with flax, chia, and amaranth (ancient grains) and half n half. That sends the blood sugar up to 198 or 200, then it goes down again by the time I get to work. I may switch to yogurt and nuts.
I need some carbs - just to get to work and start the day, also it gives me fiber - which I need.
I'm picky about salad. I cannot do iceberg lettuce (glass on stomach), sparing on romaine, instead it's power greens (argula, spinach, chard, bok choy, mustard greens, dandlion, etc). And I make my own. With celery, cucumbers, green onions, occasionally radishes, black olives...and some sort of protein. Usually chicken slices. Lately herring in source cream with onions. Moving more and more towards fish, but less with shell-fish, which is almost too rich.
Got Harvest Chilli from Trader Joes - this had pumpkin puree (pumpkin is good for blood sugar and digestive systems), peppers (not as good, but didn't bother me - since not that many), butternut squash (not that much so fine), black beans, and a few other vegetables. It was vegan chili. I added cheese and almond flour crackers to it.
I shouldn't do too much cheese - but it's among the few dairy I can do. I can't do too much in the way of milk - just add it to things. And I got to be careful with how much, or it will cause severe constipation.
See? I'm experimenting. If it hurts? It's gone. If it doesn't it stays. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what made my skin itchy and break out in hives. I think it could be a combo of things? Maybe chocolate? Maybe the cinnamon? I hope its not the apple? I've had the chocolate and cinnamon recently...and nothing happened. IDK. Calmed down now, at least. Just a brief reaction, and mild. Felt like a few stinging bites here and there.
Well, that was exhausting. I've been doing the above for the last eighteen years. So, it's not new. Ever since 2005, when I got diagnosed with gluten intolerance. It gets easier. I mean I've not had soda or pop for over eighteen years. I've not added sugar to any drink since the 20th Century. I don't add nor have added sugar to cereal since the early 00s, and I've been off glutens since 2005. I've already eliminated 90% of the problem candidates - I don't eat anything processed. And I've never liked casseroles or stews. I've always despised sandwiches - they've made me ill my entire life - probably because of the ceiliac. I refused to eat them as a kid. I was eating figurines for lunch. If my mother made me a sandwich, I wouldn't eat it - I'd eat everything else. I remember telling a friend once that for some reason or other sandwiches made me gag or resulted in a gag reflux. This was in the 1990s and early 00s, before I was diagnosed with ceiliac. My friend looked at me and said, maybe you are gluten-intolerant. I dismissed it. I could eat pizza. (But no, I didn't like the crust, and only did thin crust pizza, and often tore it off the crust, and didn't like cake, just icing, and preferred pies.) Years later, when I told her I was diagnosed ceiliac, she said - "I knew it! I told you so."
What I'm slowly learning is to change how I think about food. To eat to live instead of living to eat. To not use food to reward myself. To not see it as a treat. Enjoy it. But in moderation. Stay away from anything I could binge on. And go for savory over sweet.
***
Today, I almost fell asleep while doing the required "training module". Co-workers were understanding. I wasn't. I mean, it should have kept me awake.
Beyonce: Yes, but it's a training module. If I were your supervisor and I walked by and saw what you were doing, and snoozing - and realized it was training module, I'd totally understand.
The training module was on "Gender-Based Violence and Domestic Violence in the Workplace" - it was for managers/supervisors and human resources staff. Why I was forced to take it, I've no clue. But wasn't opposed to it either.
It's part of the Governor's commission on Domestic Violence. They have a new department that is handles Domestic Violence issues and this new law/policy was passed in 2022 - against Gender-Based Violence, which includes sexual violence, sexual harrassment in the workplace, and domestic violence. Throughout the module they warn you about the content, provide resources to contact if you are or have been a victim of this type of violence.
According to the training module - which I had to complete prior to March 31, 2022 - NY State is the only State that has enacted this policy and law (I doubt that). They are treating me like a manager/supervisor, whether I'm one or not. I should be one - I'm making that salary and technically have the responsibilities of one. Just not all of them. I'm just too smart to push in that direction.
New York is admittedly the most progressive State in the country in regards to human rights advocacy. It's among the many reasons I live in New York. I got tired of living in backwards states, like ahem Kansas and Missouri and Colorado and Pennsylvania. It was either NY or Chicago, Illinois. And NY was more temperate in climate, had better public transportation, my brother was moving here, my college friend was here, and it had an ocean, mountains, near by, and more trees. Plus I am not a midwesterner. Me and the midwest have never gotten along that well. I stick out like a sore thumb. While in NYC, I blend in.
At least it was somewhat interactive. But listening to an HR person drone on about well anything is sleep inducing.
But, I was gratified to see them addressing the issue.
It's a depressing module. Statistically?
1. 1 in 4 women are raped within their lifetimes, 1 in 3 transgender are raped or attacked sexually within their lifetimes, 1 in 33 men are attacked within their lifetimes.
2. 8 million woman yearly
3. 8 million lose their jobs
4. 8 million dollars lost
5. Out of 1,000 cases brought to trial for sexual violence? 995 perpetrators go free.
The human race is too violent for its own good. Also domestic violence is shown in the module to be about power and control. That it isn't just physical, but also mental and emotional violence. That the abuser asserts control over the victims actions. Gaslights them.
The module was kind of brutal in how it detailed the abuse. Not easy to watch at all.
I felt guilty for dozing off during it. Although it wasn't during the interactive bits or the bits where women were doing their testimonials.
Domestic and sexual violence are pervasive in American society and can have a negative impact in the workplace.
They cost businesses in increased health care costs, lost productivity, increased absenteeism, and increased employee turnover. One study found that that the short-term economic cost of lost productivity because of intimate partner violence, sexual violence, or stalking over victims’ lifetimes is $730 per victim, or $110 billion across the U.S. population, when victims lose time from work and education (Peterson et al., 2016)*.
Not only is there a cost to business, but there is a risk of violence at the workplace, to the survivor and to co-workers. The abusive partner's stalking, threats, harassment, intimidation, and physical violence can follow a victim to work.
Here’s how workplaces can support safety:
* Attend a domestic violence 101 or sexual violence 101 training so that your employees recognize the warning signs of abuse or contact opdvtraining@opdv.ny.gov for a customized gender-based violence and the workplace training.
* Implement a domestic and sexual violence policy in your workplace. Reach out to the NYS Office for the Prevention of Domestic Violence for more information about model policies.
* Publicize resources that are available for survivors like this poster (also available in: Español, 한국어 번역, русский язык, 中文翻譯, বাংলা অনুবাদ, and Kreyòl Ayisyen).
I've been an advocate off and on during my lifetime. In undergrad, I attended rape seminars, and wrote newspaper articles about sexual violence on the campus and how to fight against it. Prior to law school, I worked with Legal Aid of Western Missouri in issuing orders of protection, in law school - I provided information to lawyers doing legal research on the subject (from my time working with legal aid), post law school, I volunteered at a women's shelter, and attended a seminar on domestic violence, and in NYC, I participated in producing, directing, and acting in the Vagina Monologues - which raised money for Victims of Emotional and Physical Abuse. It's not much, but it is something. A dent. That's all I've been able to do my entire life in regards to human rights advocacy is make a tiny dent.
I find it frustrating. But I've also made certain that I only join organizations and workplaces that further my values in this regard or at least try to. So that's something, I guess?
I don't know.
Off to bed.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-03 05:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-03-03 04:52 pm (UTC)Food
Date: 2023-03-03 08:23 am (UTC)Re: Food
Date: 2023-03-04 02:43 am (UTC)IDK, I may need to exclude all sugar but fruit and 70-90% dark chocolate. With raw honey and maple syrup used sparingly?
Re: Food
Date: 2023-03-04 06:28 am (UTC)I'd second mtbc, above...
Maybe better off working on adjusting tastes/habits anyway, in my limited experience I found my preferences shifting after a few months.
I still have to be careful, especially in the winter when I can weaken and use food to keep potential depressed moods at bay, but once it gets more normal to have an adjusted diet, it is easier. Your brain does adapt, the body follows.
Re: Food
Date: 2023-03-04 03:28 pm (UTC)The difference between honey, maple syrup and sugar - is the processing. Sugar often has chemicals in it from processing that the others never do. Also, it doesn't have any health properties. The others to varying degrees do. Honey is good for sinus issues and respiratory complaints for example.
Cane sugar, stevia, aspartme, sucrolose, erithyole are all bad for you. Artificial sweeteners are made of chemical properties that can cause cancer and have. Some are processed from natural properties - but not much better. Aspartme or NutraSweet can cause brain tumors, and other issues in the brain. I don't have the enzyme that can break it down - and I get an instant headache from it.
It's better to use a natural sweetner, or none at all.
But that said? Nutritionist boards fight over this. I remember a friend on DW talking about the insane fights over sugar on various nutrition boards that she was on. If you think the Spike Wars were bad? Try the Sugar Wars. Then there's the Gluten Wars.
It's really impossible to give advice on this topic. What works for one won't work for another.
ETA: The other difficulty is people get caught up on "calories" - when often it's not the problem. Calories aren't necessarily bad for you. Nor is glucose in of itself. What is often bad for you are other things - things that are chemically processed. So the trick is to stay the hell away from anything chemically processed.
Re: Food
Date: 2023-03-04 05:33 pm (UTC)Re: Food
Date: 2023-03-04 06:48 pm (UTC)Abuse
Date: 2023-03-03 08:25 am (UTC)(The weirdly required managerial training I had was on managing one's minions' stress. We had to write answers to how we'd handle various situations but I doubt any evaluator ever read/assessed them.)
no subject
Date: 2023-03-03 10:08 am (UTC)The Welsh are not entirely keen on it because it is all about English colonialism ('Give us a prince who can speak no English' - 'Here is my newborn son, gotcha').
no subject
Date: 2023-03-03 04:59 pm (UTC)Harry's take on titles is most likely different than the official or historical take? He really isn't a fan of studying his family's history. And has no respect at all for the titles. But I'm wondering if internally they called him Wales in a deprecating manner? He really has a lot of untreated trauma from how others treated him just because he was third in line to the thrown. (Now fifth, I think). He doesn't want it or at best is completely ambivalent. If it were up to Harry, they'd do away with the whole thing.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-03 02:42 pm (UTC)I would have to agree with Charles that if Harry and Megan are basically not going to be "professional royals" and don't plan to be based in the UK, the UK shouldn't have to foot the bill for a separate mansion for them to live in whenever they care drop into the country for a visit. Although passing the place on to disgraced Prince Andrew does seem like a fairly pointed slap in the face to the two.
Your problems with food are continually terrifying... I don't know why some people have such strong opinions against chunky peanut butter. It's no worse than eating whole roast peanuts.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-04 02:53 am (UTC)I don't find it terrifying so much as just insanely frustrating, and as my mother put it tonight - socially crippling. It's really hard to navigate social interactions because of it. I don't do dinner parties (I'd have to constantly pack my own food - which I tried and isn't workable), and going out to eat is...well, russian roulette. I do it, of course, and while its easier on the gluten free front, the diabetes has thrown it into flux again.
Agreed on Harry and Megan, if they aren't going to do the Royal Thing, why should Britain pay them? I mean they are literally paid by the British Tax Payers to be Royals. It's not like they are doing all of that for free. The British Press is unfortunately part of the package. Charles has from the beginning wanted to scale back the amount of money the tax paying public is paying the Royals, and send it back to the people. He never really liked living off of the public. And I can see why he doesn't want them to support people who aren't contributing.
That said - giving the property to his lackluster brother Andrew is not a good idea. It makes more sense to either let Harry keep it, or give it to anyone else.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-03 06:21 pm (UTC)I can see that - I wonder what my brothers would say? I am probably lucky in that I was the oldest and the only girl - from my perspective, it doesn't feel like my mom compared us - she tried really hard to see us as individuals. It helped that we each had different interests and strengths from the start. I was the "bright" one who did well in school. J was the "artistic" one who struggled in school, but was very good at all the arts - drawing, music etc. M probably struggled the most - I know at one point my mom went into a parent-teacher conference, and his teacher complained "M is not like his older sister OR his older brother!" All 3 of us had the same teacher, and somehow they could accept that J and I were totally different - but then M came in, and the teacher REALLY wanted him to be either like me, or like J - and yet he was not...and my mom retorted - quite upset - "no, M is not like L or J - he's like *M*!"
M ended up in the middle somewhere - he was smart enough that he *could* have done really well in school, but he didn't care - he was off skateboarding and hanging out with the "bad" kid crowd. He made it through high school - only because my mom laid down the law that he MUST graduate - he didn't see the point.
I suspect that my brothers probably did feel some pressure to follow in my footsteps, just because I was the eldest. I hope that my mom mitigated some of that though, because she was very aware of it, from how her parents treated her and her siblings.
short-term economic cost of lost productivity because of intimate partner violence, sexual violence, or stalking over victims’ lifetimes is $730 per victim,
Honestly that number seems *really* low? Just looking at the loss in productivity from 2 of our guys going through divorces, and our company has lost WAY more than $730 each from them being distracted, unavailable, having to take extra time off, dealing with drama etc. And that's just *divorce* - not anything violent!
Super depressing though.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-04 02:56 am (UTC)Per the module - the cost was closer to $8 million per year. Which makes more sense. Both perpetuators and victims are distracted, late to work, unable to work, busy focusing on other things.