Book Review: Spare
Mar. 12th, 2023 04:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatCompleted Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, Spare by Prince Harry via audible today. It's long. Took me a few weeks to get through it, listening in snatches. But, it's also very well written, and among the better written memoirs that I've listened to - to date. That surprised me. I didn't expect it.
It ends with the image of a humming bird breaking into his house in California, shortly after Queen Elizabeth's death, and Harry picking it up and setting it outside. It wavers for a bit, lying still on the ground, and then suddenly, miraculously, takes flight.
The theme of the book - if there is one - is breaking free of the gilded cage in which Harry was born. It's one thing to seek out that sort of life (which most if not all American Presidents and Reality Star Celebrity's have over the years) and quite another, to be born into it and given no choice in the matter.
In The Crown Episode 9, Diana and Charles have a conversation about their failed marriage. Diana states that she'd wanted to save him from the Royal Institution - that she somehow felt he'd have been happier outside of it, not being the heir apparent, and free of the gilded cage - free to do or be whatever he wished to be. Charles, aghast, exclaims how dare she presume what he wants. He was born to be King, how could she expect that he'd want anything less. Is she saying he's not fit to be King?
Here, Harry from the get-go, gets across how he really is ambivalent about being King or Prince for that matter. And would rather not be the center of attention. He bemoans the restrictions, constrictions, expectations and worse the constant scrutiny from people he neither knows nor particularly wishes to know. And he takes the rider deep inside that world - with all the perks, and prices entailed. It's a far more interesting ride than one might expect.
Harry's family is rather dysfunctional, which to be fair is true of most families, regardless of class or status. But in Harry's case it's made all the worse by the scrutiny - or living constantly inside a fish bowl, and attempting often badly to live up to the "fairy tale" that has been endless spun about them. He makes it rather clear from the get-go, that the co-dependent and increasingly toxic relationship between the Royal Family and the Press that feels the need to patrol its every movement - is the problem here. And one, that try as he might, he can't quite get away from.
The book is not a sermon, or tell-all, so much as just showing - Harry shows us the difficulties by telling us the story of his life as the second son of the current King of England and exactly what all of that entails. Beginning his tale with his Grandfather's death, and reverting back to the start of it - with his mother's. There are three deaths that frame Harry's memoir - his grandfathers, his mothers, and his grandmother's. All three are major turning points in his life. The grandfather's death frames the story, his mother's informs and explains Harry and his motivations, and his grandmother's death weirdly sets him free - ending it on a hopeful note.
Unlike previous books - Harry doesn't memorialize the dead, nor does he paint them as better or worse than they are. If anything they come across as flawed but noble. Diana is forever the victim of the press that relentlessly pursued her - ironically at her own instigation. But Harry seems to release that even if she hadn't to some degree enjoyed their attention, they'd have chased her to her death. For they do much the same thing to him, his wife, and most everyone else. He lives in a fortress with a thick security detail to curtail them.
Charles and William do not come out quite so well as the dead within these pages. Charles alternates between a kind, caring, loving father who is attempting to coach his son on the finer points of being a royal and more importantly surviving it -- and an insecure and at times petty man who seeks out the attention and validation of the press and public at large.
Little that is relayed in the book about Charles comes as much of a surprise to the reader - although I'd say the positive stuff did. It's clear that Harry like most children is forever conflicted - he both loves his father, and struggles with his father's toxic relationship with the press which borders on narcissism. William isn't all that much different, heir to the throne, William much like Charles is far too invested in how the press and through them the British public views him. And both attempt at the beginning of the memoir to convince Harry to play the game, or at least a better version of it. But Harry unlike Charles, chooses Megan and to not enable the press by simply ignoring it.
Harry makes it clear that there were five options available regarding their relationship with the Royal Family (and by extension the press). What he and Megan wanted was to do their charitable works, be less in the public eye, have the full security detail, and live in both England and the States. They just wanted "less press coverage". Harry's family saw it as either - do the "public" charity events such as the pagents, christenings, sporting events, speeches, etc - in full eyes of the press, like the rest of the family" or leave entirely, and be cut off. Either you are in or you are out.
Throughout, I'm struck by how the press is constantly hounding and destroying Harry's life and wellbeing. One of his ex-girlfriends eventually commits suicide because she can no longer handle being hounded by the press - just for going out with him in the past. Every romance he had prior to Megan seems to break up because of the press, with the possible exception of one. The press is the third-wheel. He can't quite get away from them. So in an act of desperation - of sorts - he comes forward and gives his story to trusted sources. Oprah, the Documentary, and then finally his memoir. His father and brother ask how this is any different from what he is accusing them of doing? And he states, well at least I'm being open and honest about it - and not hiding behind various staffers.
All of this makes me wonder what type of society or culture do we live in - that we do this to people? Or feel we have the right to do so? The cult of the personality? Or Celebrity? These are questions that come up in the memoir, but aren't really answered. Harry seems to see it as a three-fold toxic and abusive co-dependent relationship between the Royals, the Press, and the British Public. And doesn't appear to know how to break it, yet seems hopeful it will be...somehow, if even in death. He talks about how his grandfather - who was vilified in life, isn't in death.
I don't know, the book was unsettling in a way. Made me question my own fascination with it, as well as others. It also made me wonder whether we all have a responsibility in regards to the information we often, mindlessly consume?
At any rate - it does end on a hopeful note, a humingbird equated with a reborn warrior, takes flight. Symbolizing either the flight of the Queen to her final rest, or Harry hopeful in his.
It ends with the image of a humming bird breaking into his house in California, shortly after Queen Elizabeth's death, and Harry picking it up and setting it outside. It wavers for a bit, lying still on the ground, and then suddenly, miraculously, takes flight.
The theme of the book - if there is one - is breaking free of the gilded cage in which Harry was born. It's one thing to seek out that sort of life (which most if not all American Presidents and Reality Star Celebrity's have over the years) and quite another, to be born into it and given no choice in the matter.
In The Crown Episode 9, Diana and Charles have a conversation about their failed marriage. Diana states that she'd wanted to save him from the Royal Institution - that she somehow felt he'd have been happier outside of it, not being the heir apparent, and free of the gilded cage - free to do or be whatever he wished to be. Charles, aghast, exclaims how dare she presume what he wants. He was born to be King, how could she expect that he'd want anything less. Is she saying he's not fit to be King?
Here, Harry from the get-go, gets across how he really is ambivalent about being King or Prince for that matter. And would rather not be the center of attention. He bemoans the restrictions, constrictions, expectations and worse the constant scrutiny from people he neither knows nor particularly wishes to know. And he takes the rider deep inside that world - with all the perks, and prices entailed. It's a far more interesting ride than one might expect.
Harry's family is rather dysfunctional, which to be fair is true of most families, regardless of class or status. But in Harry's case it's made all the worse by the scrutiny - or living constantly inside a fish bowl, and attempting often badly to live up to the "fairy tale" that has been endless spun about them. He makes it rather clear from the get-go, that the co-dependent and increasingly toxic relationship between the Royal Family and the Press that feels the need to patrol its every movement - is the problem here. And one, that try as he might, he can't quite get away from.
The book is not a sermon, or tell-all, so much as just showing - Harry shows us the difficulties by telling us the story of his life as the second son of the current King of England and exactly what all of that entails. Beginning his tale with his Grandfather's death, and reverting back to the start of it - with his mother's. There are three deaths that frame Harry's memoir - his grandfathers, his mothers, and his grandmother's. All three are major turning points in his life. The grandfather's death frames the story, his mother's informs and explains Harry and his motivations, and his grandmother's death weirdly sets him free - ending it on a hopeful note.
Unlike previous books - Harry doesn't memorialize the dead, nor does he paint them as better or worse than they are. If anything they come across as flawed but noble. Diana is forever the victim of the press that relentlessly pursued her - ironically at her own instigation. But Harry seems to release that even if she hadn't to some degree enjoyed their attention, they'd have chased her to her death. For they do much the same thing to him, his wife, and most everyone else. He lives in a fortress with a thick security detail to curtail them.
Charles and William do not come out quite so well as the dead within these pages. Charles alternates between a kind, caring, loving father who is attempting to coach his son on the finer points of being a royal and more importantly surviving it -- and an insecure and at times petty man who seeks out the attention and validation of the press and public at large.
Little that is relayed in the book about Charles comes as much of a surprise to the reader - although I'd say the positive stuff did. It's clear that Harry like most children is forever conflicted - he both loves his father, and struggles with his father's toxic relationship with the press which borders on narcissism. William isn't all that much different, heir to the throne, William much like Charles is far too invested in how the press and through them the British public views him. And both attempt at the beginning of the memoir to convince Harry to play the game, or at least a better version of it. But Harry unlike Charles, chooses Megan and to not enable the press by simply ignoring it.
Harry makes it clear that there were five options available regarding their relationship with the Royal Family (and by extension the press). What he and Megan wanted was to do their charitable works, be less in the public eye, have the full security detail, and live in both England and the States. They just wanted "less press coverage". Harry's family saw it as either - do the "public" charity events such as the pagents, christenings, sporting events, speeches, etc - in full eyes of the press, like the rest of the family" or leave entirely, and be cut off. Either you are in or you are out.
Throughout, I'm struck by how the press is constantly hounding and destroying Harry's life and wellbeing. One of his ex-girlfriends eventually commits suicide because she can no longer handle being hounded by the press - just for going out with him in the past. Every romance he had prior to Megan seems to break up because of the press, with the possible exception of one. The press is the third-wheel. He can't quite get away from them. So in an act of desperation - of sorts - he comes forward and gives his story to trusted sources. Oprah, the Documentary, and then finally his memoir. His father and brother ask how this is any different from what he is accusing them of doing? And he states, well at least I'm being open and honest about it - and not hiding behind various staffers.
All of this makes me wonder what type of society or culture do we live in - that we do this to people? Or feel we have the right to do so? The cult of the personality? Or Celebrity? These are questions that come up in the memoir, but aren't really answered. Harry seems to see it as a three-fold toxic and abusive co-dependent relationship between the Royals, the Press, and the British Public. And doesn't appear to know how to break it, yet seems hopeful it will be...somehow, if even in death. He talks about how his grandfather - who was vilified in life, isn't in death.
I don't know, the book was unsettling in a way. Made me question my own fascination with it, as well as others. It also made me wonder whether we all have a responsibility in regards to the information we often, mindlessly consume?
At any rate - it does end on a hopeful note, a humingbird equated with a reborn warrior, takes flight. Symbolizing either the flight of the Queen to her final rest, or Harry hopeful in his.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-13 03:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-03-13 04:30 pm (UTC)Which grandfather was it? Diana's father?