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Apr. 5th, 2023 09:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatDiscovered a perk that I did not know I had - because I work for the government, I can become a member of TDF and get cheap discounted Theater tickets! (I thought only performing artists got this perk - but someone at church who is just a freelance writer, and someone at work got it - so I decided to investigate. And Voila!) This means for an annual membership fee of $40, I can get discounted tickets for Broadway shows at $35-50, sometimes even cheaper.
What is TDF ? It's the Theater Development Fund - a non-profit organization that works towards making theater more accessible to all people.
I love live theater - and have been missing it. I may try to see Jessica Chastain's show and Anthony Rapp's. We'll see. But I'm excited.
***
Crazy Workplace
Well, we got another person for our team. She hails from the Bronx, is allegedly stationed in Manhattan, has a lap top, and is being trained. I told her that anything she needed - my door was always open. And sent her documents to get started with. Poor thing - it's her first day here and she's confused.
I remember how hard it was for me. And that trial by fire last year - learning how to do a new contract, work with new people and under the gun. With no assistance or very little. I don't want to put anyone else through that.
Me: Some people believe if they had it rough or it was hard on them, it should be for you too - but that's not my view. I don't want anyone to go through what I did. I want to make it better for them.
New Gals: Oh thank you so much. We really appreciate that.
It made me happy today helping her. Helping others makes me happy. I'm miserable when I'm not able to help people. It takes me out of myself.
Kindness seems to lighten my heart somehow.
Weirdly? Our team has gone from being mostly men to now, almost all women. Previously, we had five men, and three women, if that. Now? It's six women and two men. Of course they are in charge of us..but still.
Both Babs and I informed the union. I don't think they care. But hope springs eternal. I also changed my title slightly to distinguish it from the new gals. Crazy Org is very weird about titles. They are very entrepreneurial - and think this is a good thing. It's not a good thing. 75% of entrepreneurial efforts fail. I know I've been involved in them. They require a certain level of management, logistical administrative expertise that a lot of people just don't have.
**
The Artist Way is...like most self-help books a bit too black and white for its own good. This chapter is about taking care of your artist self and indulging them - buying things or keeping an expenditure log. (I don't think like that - the woman who wrote this book is obviously a list-maker or into lists. I am not good at lists. I forget them. I put things out of order. It's not really how I think. I think she's also an A type personality.) I tried the expenditure log and decided, meh, not going to work. Also my artist is hardly deprived. I don't have troubles spending money on art supplies, books, films, television shows, music - I have trouble spending it on furniture, tax accountants, therapists, church, hair, nails/makeup, massage, and financial advisors.
Also, it's dated. She keeps mentioning magazines and making collages from them and gathering photos from them. There's so few magazines any longer. The last thing I need is to gather up a bunch of magazines from B&N, only to throw them out. And she states how people overread and need to see more films - eh, it's the opposite now, we have smartphones. People are watching movies and television shows and video games on their phone.
I was on the subway this morning on the way to work - and struck by the fact that the man across from me was reading a thick paperback novel. I kept trying to see the title. (It looked like Count Zero). It was fictional. Well over 1500 pages due to the thickness. And he was into it - was still reading it when he stood up to leave the train. He stood out because he was the only person on the train reading a book, and the only person I've seen read a book - an actual book, not something on their phone or kindle reader, but a book - on the train in a very long time. Everyone is either on their phones now or staring into space listening to their airpods. I looked around the train, and outside of myself (I was writing my morning pages) and the guy reading the paperback novel, everyone else was staring at their phone or staring into space.
I remember the days in which we were all reading books, magazines, and newspapers. Sometimes people would leave the newspaper behind for the next person.
I miss those days.
Or you'd get into conversations with folks over books you are reading. I had someone talk to me about Don Delillo's Underworld and about Confederacy of Dunces. And at one point, Harry Potter. But those days are long gone.
If I'm reading my kindle - I'm the only one, everyone else is reading their phones.
Kind of makes me hate Steve Jobs (or whomever created the thing) just a little.
**
The other book that I'm slowly making my way through is Brene Brown's I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) : Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy and Power by Brene Brown - unfortunately it's read by someone other than Brene Brown, but oh well.
It is good though. At lunch, I listened to it for a bit - and she was delving into the psychological movement of "perception trumps reality" or "you can change your reality by changing your perceptions of it" or "you can control your own reality" and "blaming the victim" - she stated how dangerous and psychologically damaging this movement truly was, and how it resulted in shaming and blaming the victim.
I felt validated. I left social group therapy - because of that. They were shaming people. Not just me, but other people as well. I'd go home after each session in tears. And for a long long time - I was afraid I was playing the victim, and could not get it out of my head. Did a real number on me.
My first clue that it was a bit off - should have been when the therapist told me that he didn't believe in a self, that it didn't exist, and it was all perception - nor did he believe in a reality - so much as how we perceived it, and people's perceptions of us were the true reality. That we could change how people perceived us and our reality. Which makes no sense and is complete BS. A lot of therapeutic psychology is BS. EST, Dianeutics, Social Group Therapy, Law of Attraction, and the Power of Positive Thinking all fall into this category of BS therapeutic psychology.
This new agey movement - is more philosophical than psychological or sociological. It promotes blaming the victim. Law of Attraction falls into this category, as do a lot of the "self-help cults", and the damn vision boards. If I imagine it - it will happen. The Artist Way has some of this going on as well. The idea of changing one's state of mind, attitude or perception of reality - changes their reality. And if they can't do that - then it's their fault. It's the concept that our reality is within our control.
It's not. There are other people, variables, etc involved. Wanting something to happen doesn't make it happen. And just showing up doesn't either. A lot of it is just chance, luck, and happenstance. But it does help to pursue hobbies or tasks that you enjoy. But keep in mind not everyone has the ability to do that.
We don't have a level playing field. We aren't born equal, with the same opportunities, skills, gifts, attributes, and drives. Life is not fair.
The belief that it is - is a delusion.
And we shouldn't shame people for not being able to achieve the same things we have or others have. Instead be grateful. There But for the Grace of God, Go I.
My trip through the psychological movements, has taught me a lot over the years. 1) Never trust amateur psychologists. 2) Be careful with Psychological Movements, particularly if they are Sociologically based. 3) Question everything.
**
Started, My First Year of Type 2 Diabetes - Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed by Gretchen Becker and Alison Goldfine
It points out that Diabetes is different for everyone. Also it is not linked to weight. It is often genetic. And can happen to anyone. There's a lot of stigma surrounding it. And it's not your fault. People didn't bring it on themselves.
Our society has a tendency to shame people with illnesses. In particular, illnesses like diabetes.
We make assumptions about other people's health. And if that health or condition has a dietary restriction - we get judgemental about it. I remember my grandmother being judgmental about her roommate who lost toes and a foot due to diabetes - because my grandmother said she didn't eat right.
The difficulty with dietary restrictions - is food for most people is not just about sustenance. It's social. It's emotional. It's psychological. A lot of people have eating disorders or struggle with food addictions, and emotional hangups about food dating back to the childhood. It is so easy to shame someone about food.
Also losing weight is hard. It's not about exercising. After menopause or during it - it's impossible. People exercise constantly and don't lose a pound.
I think..the difficulty is in centering it around ourselves. In order to understand another person, I have to get out of myself first. I can't feel empathy, if I'm too busy trying to relate what they are saying back to my own situation. It's not about me. I've noticed this struggle across the board - particularly with social media - where people often fling their opinions at each other, without necessarily listening or hearing what the other person is saying or feeling. And as a result miscommunication and fights based on that miscommunication develop. People don't intend to hurt one another, offend or be rude - they just are too wrapped up in their own heads to hear, truly hear what the other person is saying.
***
Still reading the fictional fantasy novel, A River Enchanted by Rebecca Ross. I think my difficulty with it - is she skips around in too many points of view, and doesn't give me enough time to really care about any of her characters? It feels jarring at any rate.
***
Wales loved my latest watercolor and thinks there's definitely an art show in my future. I think I'm a little afraid of having one. Art is so in the eye of the beholder? And NY is wickedly competitive - when it comes to well anything really.
What is TDF ? It's the Theater Development Fund - a non-profit organization that works towards making theater more accessible to all people.
I love live theater - and have been missing it. I may try to see Jessica Chastain's show and Anthony Rapp's. We'll see. But I'm excited.
***
Crazy Workplace
Well, we got another person for our team. She hails from the Bronx, is allegedly stationed in Manhattan, has a lap top, and is being trained. I told her that anything she needed - my door was always open. And sent her documents to get started with. Poor thing - it's her first day here and she's confused.
I remember how hard it was for me. And that trial by fire last year - learning how to do a new contract, work with new people and under the gun. With no assistance or very little. I don't want to put anyone else through that.
Me: Some people believe if they had it rough or it was hard on them, it should be for you too - but that's not my view. I don't want anyone to go through what I did. I want to make it better for them.
New Gals: Oh thank you so much. We really appreciate that.
It made me happy today helping her. Helping others makes me happy. I'm miserable when I'm not able to help people. It takes me out of myself.
Kindness seems to lighten my heart somehow.
Weirdly? Our team has gone from being mostly men to now, almost all women. Previously, we had five men, and three women, if that. Now? It's six women and two men. Of course they are in charge of us..but still.
Both Babs and I informed the union. I don't think they care. But hope springs eternal. I also changed my title slightly to distinguish it from the new gals. Crazy Org is very weird about titles. They are very entrepreneurial - and think this is a good thing. It's not a good thing. 75% of entrepreneurial efforts fail. I know I've been involved in them. They require a certain level of management, logistical administrative expertise that a lot of people just don't have.
**
The Artist Way is...like most self-help books a bit too black and white for its own good. This chapter is about taking care of your artist self and indulging them - buying things or keeping an expenditure log. (I don't think like that - the woman who wrote this book is obviously a list-maker or into lists. I am not good at lists. I forget them. I put things out of order. It's not really how I think. I think she's also an A type personality.) I tried the expenditure log and decided, meh, not going to work. Also my artist is hardly deprived. I don't have troubles spending money on art supplies, books, films, television shows, music - I have trouble spending it on furniture, tax accountants, therapists, church, hair, nails/makeup, massage, and financial advisors.
Also, it's dated. She keeps mentioning magazines and making collages from them and gathering photos from them. There's so few magazines any longer. The last thing I need is to gather up a bunch of magazines from B&N, only to throw them out. And she states how people overread and need to see more films - eh, it's the opposite now, we have smartphones. People are watching movies and television shows and video games on their phone.
I was on the subway this morning on the way to work - and struck by the fact that the man across from me was reading a thick paperback novel. I kept trying to see the title. (It looked like Count Zero). It was fictional. Well over 1500 pages due to the thickness. And he was into it - was still reading it when he stood up to leave the train. He stood out because he was the only person on the train reading a book, and the only person I've seen read a book - an actual book, not something on their phone or kindle reader, but a book - on the train in a very long time. Everyone is either on their phones now or staring into space listening to their airpods. I looked around the train, and outside of myself (I was writing my morning pages) and the guy reading the paperback novel, everyone else was staring at their phone or staring into space.
I remember the days in which we were all reading books, magazines, and newspapers. Sometimes people would leave the newspaper behind for the next person.
I miss those days.
Or you'd get into conversations with folks over books you are reading. I had someone talk to me about Don Delillo's Underworld and about Confederacy of Dunces. And at one point, Harry Potter. But those days are long gone.
If I'm reading my kindle - I'm the only one, everyone else is reading their phones.
Kind of makes me hate Steve Jobs (or whomever created the thing) just a little.
**
The other book that I'm slowly making my way through is Brene Brown's I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't) : Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy and Power by Brene Brown - unfortunately it's read by someone other than Brene Brown, but oh well.
It is good though. At lunch, I listened to it for a bit - and she was delving into the psychological movement of "perception trumps reality" or "you can change your reality by changing your perceptions of it" or "you can control your own reality" and "blaming the victim" - she stated how dangerous and psychologically damaging this movement truly was, and how it resulted in shaming and blaming the victim.
I felt validated. I left social group therapy - because of that. They were shaming people. Not just me, but other people as well. I'd go home after each session in tears. And for a long long time - I was afraid I was playing the victim, and could not get it out of my head. Did a real number on me.
My first clue that it was a bit off - should have been when the therapist told me that he didn't believe in a self, that it didn't exist, and it was all perception - nor did he believe in a reality - so much as how we perceived it, and people's perceptions of us were the true reality. That we could change how people perceived us and our reality. Which makes no sense and is complete BS. A lot of therapeutic psychology is BS. EST, Dianeutics, Social Group Therapy, Law of Attraction, and the Power of Positive Thinking all fall into this category of BS therapeutic psychology.
This new agey movement - is more philosophical than psychological or sociological. It promotes blaming the victim. Law of Attraction falls into this category, as do a lot of the "self-help cults", and the damn vision boards. If I imagine it - it will happen. The Artist Way has some of this going on as well. The idea of changing one's state of mind, attitude or perception of reality - changes their reality. And if they can't do that - then it's their fault. It's the concept that our reality is within our control.
It's not. There are other people, variables, etc involved. Wanting something to happen doesn't make it happen. And just showing up doesn't either. A lot of it is just chance, luck, and happenstance. But it does help to pursue hobbies or tasks that you enjoy. But keep in mind not everyone has the ability to do that.
We don't have a level playing field. We aren't born equal, with the same opportunities, skills, gifts, attributes, and drives. Life is not fair.
The belief that it is - is a delusion.
And we shouldn't shame people for not being able to achieve the same things we have or others have. Instead be grateful. There But for the Grace of God, Go I.
My trip through the psychological movements, has taught me a lot over the years. 1) Never trust amateur psychologists. 2) Be careful with Psychological Movements, particularly if they are Sociologically based. 3) Question everything.
**
Started, My First Year of Type 2 Diabetes - Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed by Gretchen Becker and Alison Goldfine
It points out that Diabetes is different for everyone. Also it is not linked to weight. It is often genetic. And can happen to anyone. There's a lot of stigma surrounding it. And it's not your fault. People didn't bring it on themselves.
Our society has a tendency to shame people with illnesses. In particular, illnesses like diabetes.
We make assumptions about other people's health. And if that health or condition has a dietary restriction - we get judgemental about it. I remember my grandmother being judgmental about her roommate who lost toes and a foot due to diabetes - because my grandmother said she didn't eat right.
The difficulty with dietary restrictions - is food for most people is not just about sustenance. It's social. It's emotional. It's psychological. A lot of people have eating disorders or struggle with food addictions, and emotional hangups about food dating back to the childhood. It is so easy to shame someone about food.
Also losing weight is hard. It's not about exercising. After menopause or during it - it's impossible. People exercise constantly and don't lose a pound.
I think..the difficulty is in centering it around ourselves. In order to understand another person, I have to get out of myself first. I can't feel empathy, if I'm too busy trying to relate what they are saying back to my own situation. It's not about me. I've noticed this struggle across the board - particularly with social media - where people often fling their opinions at each other, without necessarily listening or hearing what the other person is saying or feeling. And as a result miscommunication and fights based on that miscommunication develop. People don't intend to hurt one another, offend or be rude - they just are too wrapped up in their own heads to hear, truly hear what the other person is saying.
***
Still reading the fictional fantasy novel, A River Enchanted by Rebecca Ross. I think my difficulty with it - is she skips around in too many points of view, and doesn't give me enough time to really care about any of her characters? It feels jarring at any rate.
***
Wales loved my latest watercolor and thinks there's definitely an art show in my future. I think I'm a little afraid of having one. Art is so in the eye of the beholder? And NY is wickedly competitive - when it comes to well anything really.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-06 10:22 am (UTC)It's indeed nice to help people and generally do kindnesses for them. (-: (At least if they're not assholes about it!) It's like karma really works in that sense, at least in terms of that I get some happiness back from it.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-07 09:35 pm (UTC)IDK. If I did it - it would be upstate or in a small cafe somewhere. This city is kind of crowded with artistic talent.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-06 01:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-04-06 02:30 pm (UTC)I'm trying to remember the last time I saw ANYONE reading on a kindle/e-reader in public, that wasn't an airplane. I'm failing. I have my kindle with me constantly, and pull it out all the time, but I'm always the only person.
I have had a similar discussion about the difficulty in losing weight - like - if you are an alcoholic, or someone who has difficulty moderating their alcohol intake - you can just NOT DRINK alcohol. There are other options, you will continue to live and thrive. So if moderation is hard, you can go cold turkey.
But if you are someone who has difficulty with moderation and food - you cannot just NOT eat? Food is a necessity!
I definitely struggle with moderation in all things - so I really avoid alcohol and I have never taken any mind-altering drugs - I don't trust that I would be able to moderate my consumption if I found some I really liked :D
no subject
Date: 2023-04-06 03:19 pm (UTC)That's the difficulty with stuff like this? We're all so different.
While it's true - on a practical level if you can't drink alcohol - you just stop drinking it. And it's really not that hard to avoid. (On a psychological, physical and emotional level - it's not that clear cut. Alcoholics can't stop drinking. They are physically addicted to it. When they do, they go through painful, debilitating and often dangerous withdrawl. It has to be monitored by a physician in some cases. Then once off - they can't ever drink. An alcoholic can't have just one drink - or any alcohol. Their body will automatically demand more. People don't really understand that. Addiction is something people are born with - it's not a learned habit or trait. And unlike cigarettes or cocaine, everyone who drinks it - doesn't automatically become addicted to it. While people who can't drink alcohol such as say a diabetic or my sister-in-law and niece whose bodies can't metabolize it correctly, can just stop without any ill effects and never are really that tempted.)
But you're right, unlike alcohol which isn't necessary to live, you can't stop eating food. And losing weight and maintaining diabetic sugar levels isn't just about reducing sweet deserts or sweets. It also involves reducing carbs, it's actually more about carb count. And there's different types of medical ailments and food resistances. For example? You may be fine if you drink a glass of red wine once in a while, but not if you have pizza or mac and cheese on a low carb diabetic diet. It's as nutty as that.
I've been debating not eating oatmeal any longer for breakast for example? I switched to yogurt and two hard boiled eggs. With mixed results. Lower blood sugar, but my digestive system preferred the oatmeal. Also I had more energy with the oatmeal. Ugh, toss up. Maybe just yogurt next round.
And there's a huge difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetics. Type 1 needs insulin (the pancreas isn't producing enough insulin to keep the body functioning - we need blood sugar, you can't function without it completely) and Type 2 - is producing too much, so it needs to be regulated, and balanced, often with medications and diet and exercise - which is different for everyone.
The other difficulty with food choices - is we all can tolerate different things? Some people can eat meat, some can't. Some people can be vegetarians, with no issues with potatoes, eggplant, beans, etc. While others, like myself can't be a vegetarian or vegan - I can't really eat that much with chickpeas, beans, and nightshades like eggplant, peppers, potatoes, etc don't always agree with me. And no grains.
It's hard to navigate and harder still in the workplace, and with social events.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-07 02:45 am (UTC)Yep, same. Haven't seen anyone reading a Kindle E-Book in a very long time - except on planes. I do see it on airplanes, and I think Amtrack. But not on the subway - everyone is reading their phones on the subway. It's very odd. I did see someone reading a Colleen Hoover paperback a few months back.
Red wine does appear to lower my blood sugar - very odd. While pasta and pizza (cheese pizza) rise it.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-07 04:59 pm (UTC)It's nice that you're being helpful to the new person. Starting a new job can be stressful and having welcoming people like you around definitely makes the transition smoother.
I don't think you need to pressure yourself into doing an art show at any given point, if that isn't what you want to do. As long as it is giving you joy, that is all that matters.