![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Fan Fights or fighting over perspectives?
Sep. 21st, 2010 10:23 pmSo, flist is busy posting about the Buffy comics again. Must be time for the next issue to be released. Personally, I'm on the fence about getting it.
Great quote today in a business meeting - can't remember who said it, but..."The thing about verbal communication - is everyone hears what you say differently. It never fails to amaze me how people can leave a meeting and have completely different memories of what was said, and/or agreed to. Which is why written communication is so important." Unfortunately people interpret that differently as well. Edward Albee was right - no one sees the same play. Heck, I'm not even sure we see the same colors - I've lost count of the number of folks who look into my eyes and tell me they are a wonderful bright shade of blue. I am not color blind. They are green with flecks of yellow. They merely appear blue when I wear blue. Gray-green eyes have a tendency to pick up whatever color you are wearing or change in certain lights. That said? They always look green to me.
And I spend my worklife - basically arguing with people regarding their interpretations of things.
That and negotiating. I am really good at arguing. I have a degree in arguing. Heck even got a professional license to argue. (okay maybe negotiation or discussing.) That's the thing about the word "argue" - people are afraid to use it. They are constantly substituting euphemisms for it - such as "discussion" or "disagreement" or "negotiate" or "litigate" or "debate" - please, say what it is. If you are insisting that your character is lovable and I'm insisting they aren't - we are "arguing"! Discussion is just a polite form of it. Negotiate is also fairly polite. Litigate - is aggressive. Debate - politely aggressive. Doesn't mean I don't get sick of arguing after a bit and just want to slap someone upside the head. Online arguments make me crazy. Mostly because the person is usually misunderstanding my intent completely - so I spend 85% of the argument saying, "no, no, no - that is NOT what I meant at all, you doofus! I meant this!" To which they respond, "no, no, no - that is EXACTLY what you meant, you evil person you!" All very politely of-course.
Until I reach the boiling point and end up getting very snarky and writing something that I regret - and ends with me deleting the whole kit and kaboodle. Slinking away feeling like a rat, and considering ending my online existence forth-with. (By ending I mean deleting the journal or never posting again. Not killing myself. I'm not crazy.) Of course, I never do. Because hello? That would be nuts. It's nutty enough just deleting the thing. I fear what people must think. But obviously not enough, not to do it whenever I damn well please.
In other words...fan fights are in some respects worse than political debates. ( Read more... )
Great quote today in a business meeting - can't remember who said it, but..."The thing about verbal communication - is everyone hears what you say differently. It never fails to amaze me how people can leave a meeting and have completely different memories of what was said, and/or agreed to. Which is why written communication is so important." Unfortunately people interpret that differently as well. Edward Albee was right - no one sees the same play. Heck, I'm not even sure we see the same colors - I've lost count of the number of folks who look into my eyes and tell me they are a wonderful bright shade of blue. I am not color blind. They are green with flecks of yellow. They merely appear blue when I wear blue. Gray-green eyes have a tendency to pick up whatever color you are wearing or change in certain lights. That said? They always look green to me.
And I spend my worklife - basically arguing with people regarding their interpretations of things.
That and negotiating. I am really good at arguing. I have a degree in arguing. Heck even got a professional license to argue. (okay maybe negotiation or discussing.) That's the thing about the word "argue" - people are afraid to use it. They are constantly substituting euphemisms for it - such as "discussion" or "disagreement" or "negotiate" or "litigate" or "debate" - please, say what it is. If you are insisting that your character is lovable and I'm insisting they aren't - we are "arguing"! Discussion is just a polite form of it. Negotiate is also fairly polite. Litigate - is aggressive. Debate - politely aggressive. Doesn't mean I don't get sick of arguing after a bit and just want to slap someone upside the head. Online arguments make me crazy. Mostly because the person is usually misunderstanding my intent completely - so I spend 85% of the argument saying, "no, no, no - that is NOT what I meant at all, you doofus! I meant this!" To which they respond, "no, no, no - that is EXACTLY what you meant, you evil person you!" All very politely of-course.
Until I reach the boiling point and end up getting very snarky and writing something that I regret - and ends with me deleting the whole kit and kaboodle. Slinking away feeling like a rat, and considering ending my online existence forth-with. (By ending I mean deleting the journal or never posting again. Not killing myself. I'm not crazy.) Of course, I never do. Because hello? That would be nuts. It's nutty enough just deleting the thing. I fear what people must think. But obviously not enough, not to do it whenever I damn well please.
In other words...fan fights are in some respects worse than political debates. ( Read more... )