(no subject)

Thank you to everyone who sent cyber-hugs in response to my shameless plea. I really appreciate it.
Been a difficult couple of days. And if you're wondering why I'm doing DW and LJ? It's because posting in LJ always results in my writing being interrupted by a video ad (highly annoying) and if I just post in DW, 90% of my readers/friends don't see the post. So post in DW, avoid the ad, get comments in both DW and LJ.

Work today made me crazy. It's been crazy lately. I'm thinking work may be making me snarkier than usual, if that is possible. Today spent an hour writing and deleting an email to a project manager that I wanted to strangle. I was actually aided by the fact that I could not physically type a response until I calmed down and was less furious. When I get really upset - my right hand shakes so badly it is physically impossible for me to type - this is a blessing in disguise since it prevents me from getting myself into a lot of trouble. Well most of the time at any rate. Hasn't seemed to help me that much on my lj or with online posting. But I tend to be more careful at work than I am on lj because my real name is attached and if I screw up, I lose my job. Here? The stakes aren't quite that high.

Cheered self up watching Glee and No Ordinary Family last night. Glee was better. No Ordinary was a bit slow and sappy last night, but it is building nicely and unlike Heroes has a clearer focus. Heroes tried to do too much too fast - I mean here each hero has one ability, in Heroes they gave people ten to fifteen abilities - example - Hiro could not only teleport, he could stop time and travel back and forth in time. That's one too many things. I wanted to tell the idiotic writers - pick one! Here, they give each character one ability which comes with it's detractors, and fits their personality or wishes/dreams. That said? I admittedly enjoyed the first five episodes of Heroes more. No Ordinary needs to pick up its pace a bit.

Glee on the other hand - was a treat, with just a few missteps. ( spoilers for last night's Glee )

Off to make dinner.

Stand up to Bullying: A Survivor's Tale

Read this insightful and inspiring post : http://seanan-mcguire.livejournal.com/280302.html courtesy of ann1962 who directed me to it. This post and the events of the past few years...inspire what lies below. Hope it doesn't come across as too strident. It's hard for me to write about without jumping on my soap-box. Bullying is a topic that fills me with rage.

The teen suicides...notably the girl who hanged herself because a classmate's mother and her teenage daughter and a bunch of the teenage daughter's friends felt the need to bully and play a cruel sadistic prank on facebook. Their "harmless" prank lead to this girl's suicide. And she was just the first in a long line. There have been several on Long Island. The young man from Rutgers who jumped off the George Washington Bridge in the Bronx, is just the latest. And all for the same reason - some idiot thought it would be funny to post a video or tape or something to Facebook, Youtube, Twitter...as either a prank or tease. I can hear them in my head - it was just a joke, we had no way of knowing you didn't have a sense of humor or were sooo sensitive. Or mainly? We didn't think it was such a big deal. Can't you take a joke? Some days I hope there is a hell (not that I believe there is, I don't) where
people can relive what they did to others, from their victims point of view, experience their victims pain one by one. It's like that song from the Mikado - the punishment must fit the crime. But vengeance and retribution rarely work. But there are days...

Last week, on the phone, Momster reminded me of a moment from my past that I'd forgotten. It makes sense that I forgot it, there were so many similar moments that they basically blurred together over time, and I took a page from my Dad's book and worked hard to forget, focusing on the good stuff. But you don't forget it all, and the coping skills, specifically the dry wit and snark that developed because of it, have not gone away. Nor did the anger at bullying in general. I can't watch most television situation comedies which involve embarrassment or humilation humor because of my experiences as a child and young adult. It also, as Momster pointed out - aided me in developing an empathy for people who are discriminated against for whatever reason.

How was I bullied? So many ways. I've forgotten most of them, it was so long ago. And the nice thing about time, is memories fade, you do eventually forget. Even the old emotional scars begin to fade.

How long? From the age of 6 to the age of 20. Bullying drove me to seek counseling in college, and again in law school. And I suffered it again, at the age of 28 in the workplace - when I realized that was what was happening, I confronted the bully head-on and let him know that I knew what he was doing, I knew my rights, and if he did not back off - I'd make sure others knew. Then I left the company, but made damn sure that I left smelling like a rose. So much so, that people who took over my position let that boss and everyone else know how great I was and just what they lost.

But you probably want specifics, right?? Sigh, repeating them, they seem minor, silly even.
( bullying )