A book you own but have never read..

That's today's prompt for the seemingly endless book challenge.

My pick? Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky

I keep picking it up to read it - but never manage to. It's one of those books - I mean to read, but am either never in the mood or don't have the time or focus.

I know it's brilliant, although whether the translation that I happen to own is or not - is another issue entirely. That's the problem with literature published in a language other than one's own - you have to depend on a translation. It's either that or learn the language - and I don't foresee myself learning Russian any time soon - even if I live in a building with a bunch of people who apparently only speak Russian. Some speak Polish. I honestly can't hear the difference. I've tried. Moscow co-worker (he hails from Moscow) will correct me every once and a while.

Me: Alex (the vendor) is Russian -
Moscow: No Polish.
Me: Peter is Russian -
Moscow: No, Polish.

Moscow knows three languages - Russian, Polish, and English, also a little bit of Spanish. I forgive him his issues with English - because honestly he has three - four languages. I only know one well, and have some broken third grade level French to play around with.

Day 297 - Went for a Long Walk

After two live-streaming prayer and church services, I decided to take a two hour walk around Greenwood Cemetery. It was a bright sunny day, with a barely a cloud in the sky. Meandering through the cobblestone paths, and communing with the trees, the sunshine, and the birds helped silence the noise in my head. Along with all of the noise outside. It's been a very noisy week, hasn't it?

There was a bald eagel sighted today. I walked beneath him, but couldn't see him - I don't have binoculars or a telescopic lens. And he was very high in the pine tree, hidden behind the branches. But someone posted a picture of him on Facebook. It was a hopeful photo.

Walking through the cemetery - helps me realize how temporary things are. There's so many graves of veterans from past Wars, long finished, or past tragedies, long done. Their names barely visible - eroded with time, a possibly too many people doing illegal gravestone rubbings.

And the sun was warming today. I kind of got a bit lost in the Cemetery, winding around the paths, but I'm used to it now - and didn't feel the smart of panic or the urge to look at a map - and sure enough in times I winded my way back on the path and around to the entrance again. It was a good four mile hike, almost five. And I ached just a tad afterwards.

My Cousin - who I visited in Seattle in 2018, told me over the phone that she thinks my discovery of Greenwood Cemetery is ingenious. I've managed to find a beautiful place to walk, with very people in it - or an large groups. It's so big that over 2,000 people can wander about it in one day and never really see each other.



Well, I knew January was going to be hell on wheels, I just didn't realize it was going to be this bad. I don't know about anyone else but I feel overwhelmed by it at the moment. This past week almost did me in - I had a panic attack on Friday, and had to calm myself down.

The news from my parents is...not great. According to Mother, my father is...okay?

Mother: So I talked to your father finally on the phone.
Me: Oh, is he okay?
Mother: well...physically I suppose. I mean, he's..not..
Me: I know he's not going to wonderful or anything, but is he okay?
Mother: more or less. He knew who I was, and was relieved to know I was doing okay. And he had a vague sense of where I was. I had to explain to him again that I wasn't getting another surgery, that I was in rehab. He's confused - and he wondered where I was. He has no idea who his roommate is.
And while they got him sitting up in a chair - he's having difficulty walking again.

Later she talked to their doctor - who informed my mother that the X-rays she'd gotten prior to calling the ambulance, showed nothing wrong. No fractures.

Me: How'd they find the fracture then?
Mother: the hospital ran a C-T scan and found it that way. The doctor was concerned and bewildered. She's also worried it may be back related and so am I - I'm really worried that there may be a problem with my back. Although there are some medications that cause spontaneous fractures - but I'm not taking any. I don't know how this happened. Did I fracture it after the x-rays - right when I got out of the car? That makes no sense. And if so, what was the pain I was having prior to that?

I'm really glad she's in the rehab facility. Although she's going to the bathroom all the time - because of the water pill she has to take to get the swollen legs and water retention down.

The doctor was also concerned about my father's sudden inability to walk again, since he'd been doing fine previously.

Me: I'm afraid that Dad will give up...
Mom: Me too. But maybe that's..
Me: I know, I have to learn to let ..
Mom: Yes, I know I need to learn how too, because for him to stay may be too painful..

I'm afraid that I'll never see my Dad again. But there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to stay strong and hang in there. Somehow.

I wrote to the Bible Study Group finally, that I could not host on January 20 - that due to a family crisis, I just couldn't. I was barely focusing on work. In a way, not having to do much at work is a good thing - since I'm struggling to focus on it. On the other hand - I wish I had more to do - to give me something to focus on.



What's going right now in the US is frightening. ( Read more... )

Good night...and good luck. Hopefully next week will be better. I won't have to try too hard, in my opinion.