Day #35 of year 2 of the Pandemic

Mother: you okay?
Me: yes, why?
Mother: you sound down.
ME: I'm tired, and kind of languishing or depressed.

Not sure depression is the right word. More a sort of languishing. I'm having troubles feeling much hope that things will improve. I know they will but it's hard to feel hopeful sometimes.

Work is frustrating me. I can't get anywhere with it. I listen to the others who are. And I feel like I don't have much to do. I'm bored. Tomorrow - I've decided to attempt a financial analysis and issue a modification (even though the Financial guy hasn't gotten around to approving it yet - I don't really need him to - the money is already there.) I was kind of resenting all the people who do have lots of work. Not that I want to do what they are doing. One of them, was all dressed up in a suit for teams meetings with attorneys. I think he was trying to get in the mindset for work? Possible a way to cheer himself up? He said he was doing it gradually.

Also, I received notification that my reasonable accommodation to telework from home has been extended to July 2. I'm hoping to take a vacation the first week in July - to visit someone. Right now, it's my parents. I get desperate enough, it will be my brother or an Aunt.



Firefox is being wonky - it won't let me click on the edit button, but at least my mouse will click on - cut/past option.

Been having computer issues most of the day - all morning the computer kept kicking me off. Of course I was spending most of my time on GH Fanboard on FB out of boredom. We got into a debate about a fictional female bad girl and her moral choices - which ...I don't know why I bother debating this stuff on fanboards? I can't win. People are weirdly hypocritical and self-righteous about the moral decisions of fictional characters on fan boards. And it usually gets heated.

But there is something in me that gets off on debating these things. I think I'm either masochistic or sadistic? Don't know. I used to debate Spike's actions. Often I'd play devil's advocate and take the opposite position from my own views to see what happened.

It may well be the lawyer in me? I kind of miss Lando - we used to have debates all the time.I haven't talked to any of my co-workers - outside of Staff Meetings From Doom in ages. Just random estimators and project managers.

I did talk to the intercom repair folks through the door today. Informed them that the intercom was working perfectly well. Also got the new lease - debating on whether I want to sign a one year (no rent increase) or a two-year ($19.29 rent increase).



I'm tired and lonely. I should probably have gone to Bible Study, but often it makes me feel lonelier. I've decided to try and get tickets to the Immersive Van Gough Exhibit - but alas, they are not yet available - so I signed up to be alerted when they are available - the exhibit is in June.

Just checked my email and apparently FED-EX is sending me somthing from "Lulu"?? But I don't remember ordering anything? Okay, it will be a surprise. It may be something I never received from Amazon and forgot about? Maybe it's the binoculars?



New York vs. the Corona Virus

Our continuing coverage of New York vs. the Corona Virus. ( Read more... )

This may be adding to my sense of malaise, who knows. People are experiencing this pandemic differently. I've been in a pseud-isolation for over 12 months, working remotely, and wandering around my neighborhood and a cemetery, while I've noted others are living their lives as if there isn't a pandemic at all. They are going to work, seeing friends and family, etc.

It's very discombobulating.



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Regarding the verdict in the George Floyd murder case? ( Read more... )

I'm glad they found him guilty. Relieved, really. I honestly didn't know what would happen.