This, That and the other thingamig.

1. I've decided I don't have the bandwidth to respond to people on Twitter or FB, so I'm doing it in my head.
( examples )

2. Crazy Workplace

It's been so insane this week - that I decided to actually pull up the remote computer on my laptop after I got home - to complete a document that I have to send out first thing tomorrow morning. Kept getting interrupted today - I did however manage to send out the addendum. The lawyer and I were celebrating when it got posted. We'd both worked our asses off on the damn thing.

Did this after I took a shower, and threw more things in the hamper. I'm going to do laundry tomorrow night. Hopefully.

At work - talked to the lunch group that meets behind my cubicle, briefly.

Chidi: So are you looking forward to next week?
Me: Trying not to think about it actually.
Co-workers: I hope it's at least somewhat relaxing...
ME (I roll my eyes).

I tell this to mother.
Me: Co-workers kept telling me to enjoy my time off next week.
Mother: They realize you are going to your father's funeral, right?
Me: Yup.

I'm beginning to despise the phrase: "How are you doing?" or "How are you?"
I don't answer any longer, or change the subject. I let silence be my response. And I stopped asking it myself. Maybe we should just retire it completely? I get asking it if you really want an answer - but in the workplace, no one ever does. Actually most people don't want one anywhere.
Let's face it - we don't have the bandwidth for the response.

3. Mother continues to regale me with her funeral plans. This is becoming mother's funeral.

Mother: So I've got an Irish Prayer, and another prayer, and the Celtic Cross on the front, and instead of the obituary which is too long, this prayer...(she recites it and it's very touching - she starts crying during it, and it is moving.)
Me: Sounds very Catholic.
Mother: Well, you're father was Catholic, also Irish.

This is true. My father saw himself as Irish Catholic - as if it were his nationality or ethnicity, a part of him. He identified as Irish Catholic.
And insisted that his kids be raised Catholic and his wife become Catholic. (Mother didn't care - she was Episcopalin and liked the rituals, the idea of a religious faith, and the community. She'd been raised without organized religion and went searching for it, and became Episcopalin in college.)

Like in all things, my brother's peer group kicked him of the religious habit - Protestant Christian Sports/Athletic Camp helped. ( Read more... )

I minored in cultural anthropology, which included theology, religion, mythology and folklore in college - and that kicked me of it for the most part. ( Read more... )

She's also putting up a poster board or some sort of board (she couldn't figure out what to call it - I'm thinking Easel? ) to put all my Dad's photos on - at the back of the church or in the entry way to it. She wants my help with it when I get there - or she'll do it over the weekend.

I've decided to put myself on auto pilot from here on out. And meditate a lot. The CBD had too much sugar in it - so wires me. Also dehydrates. Plus I got more hot flashes when I had a lot of it. So scaling back or trying something else.

I don't want to feel. I don't right now. Kind of numb and snarky.