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Sep. 22nd, 2023 10:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkat1.
*Past was Better or Future will be Better?
Past, I dread the future. Sad. But true. It just looks like one long bleak lonely tunnel. So I prefer not to think about it at all, and stay in the present. (Well, I am saving money and doing everything possible to make it less bleak.)
*Farmers Market or Grocery Store?
Toss-up. Depends. I prefer the Farmer's Market - for the most part, since it can provide fresh produce, and nothing that will kill me. (I've food sensitivities. I don't buy based on cost - I buy based on what won't kill me.
*Crystal Chandelier or Minimalist Light?
I'm definitely a minimalist light person — I don't do ornate, and I also tend to have minimal light — just the least amount necessary for ambient light. I only put on lights when necessary. I like natural light. And I only own two lamps that I only use if the ceiling ones don't work.
*Cooking Class or Painting Class?
Painting class! (I'm not a fan of cooking or having people hover while I cook. Also I'm an intuitive cook.)
*Electric or Gas Stove
Electric - healthier, safer, and better. Less tendency to inhale gas which irritates the throat and lungs, and result in ashma and coughing.
But alas, I live in NYC, in an old apartment complex. We have gas ovens and stoves. I miss the electric.
My brother has a really cool one - it heats food, but just heating the pot, not the surface of the stove. Kind works like a magnet or something. Boils water really fast.
2. Talking with Babs today, who told me that she thinks the feminine gene passed her by. I looked at her - she's wearing a long skirt, a lacy chamisole under a blue button down blouse, with a jeans jacket over it, and boots. Also blue eye shadow.
Me: Well, I'm further down on the feminine gene thing than you are. I refuse to wear eye-shadow or skirts, or dresses for that matter.
Babs (lifts her skirt) - underneath are patterned pajama leggings. : Chidi called me a hippi.
Me: I wouldn't call you that. I don't even wear jewelry any longer.
Babs: Oh I stopped ages ago.
3. Co-workers (basically Babs, BYT and Gabe - I've not shown it to anyone else): Think my rash is an insect bite. BYT was thinking spider or bugs.
Babs thought bedbugs. Gabe thought I was most likely right - flea or spider.
I think it was a flea. I remember seeing a tiny flying insect.
I caved and bought Benedryle (by mouth) and took one. And lo and behold, it's better. Mother told me - that she keeps it on hand just for allergic reactions. It's how she dealt with an allergic reaction to a bite once - which sent her to the emergency room (they thought spider). This has one too many bumps for a spider. It looks like flea.
Although how I managed to get bitten by a flea is anyone's guess.
The horticozone helped, but the Benedryle really took care of it. This is the longest that it has stopped itching.
Note to self - when in doubt, take Benedryle for bug bites.
But all this talk about bedbugs being in chairs and fleas - made me come home and inspect my arm-chair. If there are any? They are invisible and I can't see them.
4. Flirted with American Horror Story: Delicate - the one that is show-run by a female writer? And is a contemporary retelling of Rosemary's Baby based on the novel by Danielle Valentine.
Except, there's a problem - all the spider imagery in the marketing campaign and trailers. I cannot do spiders. And the imagery leads me to believe that she's giving birth to a spider. Just no.
I'm an arachnophobe. I wasn't born that way. I was taught to fear spiders at any early age. Kind of traumatized by them. Over and over again from the age of 6 to the age of 28. I won't bore you with all the ways folks found to either deliberately or inadvertently scare me with spiders.
At this point, I can look at a tiny spider. But that's about it.
Emma Roberts states she's afraid of spiders - and yet here are all these spiders being shown with her in a marketing trailer. Also in the credits to the series.
Anyhow, while hunting trailer for it - I landed on this.. Episode Two: The South Tower - it's a National Geographic Documentary about 9/11.
It's also the day I became a New Yorker for life. Because I stayed in NYC, and continued to do so afterwards. I remember a cabbie asking if I was here for 9/11, and I said yes, also the blackout, the hurricanes, the transit strike...and he said, you are a New Yorker if you were here for 9/11 and stayed.
I still find it hard to watch anything related to it. I know people who escaped from the Towers with their lives, who lost people in them. I worked for two companies that were previously located in the Towers at the time, four years after it happened. I stared at their memorial walls. I walked through the wreckage for job interviews with buildings still down there.
I've visited the memorial. And I had the dust on my air conditioner from the buildings. I walked through the dust and the papers on the ground on my way home that day. I road the subway with the people sobbing and shaking, and terrified - when it got stuck in the tunnel for twenty minutes between Manhattan and Brooklyn, after being shut down for five hours due to the attacks. I knew people who walked all the way home to the Bronx from Manhattan. I thought about walking to Brooklyn from the Bronx (where I worked at the time) but had on the wrong shoes and clothing. Never again would I wear work shoes walking to and from work. Sneakers after 9/11.
Also my clothing changed, and became more casual. I stopped wearing silk suits. A co-worker and a friend drove me to the subway station - when they opened up again, she'd brought me home to her house for lunch, and to watch what was happening, since we'd been released from work - and I couldn't get home (the subways were shut down). I was stuck. And I could see the towers burning from the Bronx.
When I got home - finally? I saw that they were gone from my bedroom window. I had a view of them. And now gone.
It's a trauma that stays with you. That realization that no where is safe and we're all in this together. Also, weirdly, someone helped me when I was alone and needed help.
*Past was Better or Future will be Better?
Past, I dread the future. Sad. But true. It just looks like one long bleak lonely tunnel. So I prefer not to think about it at all, and stay in the present. (Well, I am saving money and doing everything possible to make it less bleak.)
*Farmers Market or Grocery Store?
Toss-up. Depends. I prefer the Farmer's Market - for the most part, since it can provide fresh produce, and nothing that will kill me. (I've food sensitivities. I don't buy based on cost - I buy based on what won't kill me.
*Crystal Chandelier or Minimalist Light?
I'm definitely a minimalist light person — I don't do ornate, and I also tend to have minimal light — just the least amount necessary for ambient light. I only put on lights when necessary. I like natural light. And I only own two lamps that I only use if the ceiling ones don't work.
*Cooking Class or Painting Class?
Painting class! (I'm not a fan of cooking or having people hover while I cook. Also I'm an intuitive cook.)
*Electric or Gas Stove
Electric - healthier, safer, and better. Less tendency to inhale gas which irritates the throat and lungs, and result in ashma and coughing.
But alas, I live in NYC, in an old apartment complex. We have gas ovens and stoves. I miss the electric.
My brother has a really cool one - it heats food, but just heating the pot, not the surface of the stove. Kind works like a magnet or something. Boils water really fast.
2. Talking with Babs today, who told me that she thinks the feminine gene passed her by. I looked at her - she's wearing a long skirt, a lacy chamisole under a blue button down blouse, with a jeans jacket over it, and boots. Also blue eye shadow.
Me: Well, I'm further down on the feminine gene thing than you are. I refuse to wear eye-shadow or skirts, or dresses for that matter.
Babs (lifts her skirt) - underneath are patterned pajama leggings. : Chidi called me a hippi.
Me: I wouldn't call you that. I don't even wear jewelry any longer.
Babs: Oh I stopped ages ago.
3. Co-workers (basically Babs, BYT and Gabe - I've not shown it to anyone else): Think my rash is an insect bite. BYT was thinking spider or bugs.
Babs thought bedbugs. Gabe thought I was most likely right - flea or spider.
I think it was a flea. I remember seeing a tiny flying insect.
I caved and bought Benedryle (by mouth) and took one. And lo and behold, it's better. Mother told me - that she keeps it on hand just for allergic reactions. It's how she dealt with an allergic reaction to a bite once - which sent her to the emergency room (they thought spider). This has one too many bumps for a spider. It looks like flea.
Although how I managed to get bitten by a flea is anyone's guess.
The horticozone helped, but the Benedryle really took care of it. This is the longest that it has stopped itching.
Note to self - when in doubt, take Benedryle for bug bites.
But all this talk about bedbugs being in chairs and fleas - made me come home and inspect my arm-chair. If there are any? They are invisible and I can't see them.
4. Flirted with American Horror Story: Delicate - the one that is show-run by a female writer? And is a contemporary retelling of Rosemary's Baby based on the novel by Danielle Valentine.
Except, there's a problem - all the spider imagery in the marketing campaign and trailers. I cannot do spiders. And the imagery leads me to believe that she's giving birth to a spider. Just no.
I'm an arachnophobe. I wasn't born that way. I was taught to fear spiders at any early age. Kind of traumatized by them. Over and over again from the age of 6 to the age of 28. I won't bore you with all the ways folks found to either deliberately or inadvertently scare me with spiders.
At this point, I can look at a tiny spider. But that's about it.
Emma Roberts states she's afraid of spiders - and yet here are all these spiders being shown with her in a marketing trailer. Also in the credits to the series.
Anyhow, while hunting trailer for it - I landed on this.. Episode Two: The South Tower - it's a National Geographic Documentary about 9/11.
It's also the day I became a New Yorker for life. Because I stayed in NYC, and continued to do so afterwards. I remember a cabbie asking if I was here for 9/11, and I said yes, also the blackout, the hurricanes, the transit strike...and he said, you are a New Yorker if you were here for 9/11 and stayed.
I still find it hard to watch anything related to it. I know people who escaped from the Towers with their lives, who lost people in them. I worked for two companies that were previously located in the Towers at the time, four years after it happened. I stared at their memorial walls. I walked through the wreckage for job interviews with buildings still down there.
I've visited the memorial. And I had the dust on my air conditioner from the buildings. I walked through the dust and the papers on the ground on my way home that day. I road the subway with the people sobbing and shaking, and terrified - when it got stuck in the tunnel for twenty minutes between Manhattan and Brooklyn, after being shut down for five hours due to the attacks. I knew people who walked all the way home to the Bronx from Manhattan. I thought about walking to Brooklyn from the Bronx (where I worked at the time) but had on the wrong shoes and clothing. Never again would I wear work shoes walking to and from work. Sneakers after 9/11.
Also my clothing changed, and became more casual. I stopped wearing silk suits. A co-worker and a friend drove me to the subway station - when they opened up again, she'd brought me home to her house for lunch, and to watch what was happening, since we'd been released from work - and I couldn't get home (the subways were shut down). I was stuck. And I could see the towers burning from the Bronx.
When I got home - finally? I saw that they were gone from my bedroom window. I had a view of them. And now gone.
It's a trauma that stays with you. That realization that no where is safe and we're all in this together. Also, weirdly, someone helped me when I was alone and needed help.
no subject
Date: 2023-09-24 02:51 am (UTC)Thank you for sharing your memories of 9/11. I live across the country so while I remember it, I was still somewhat removed and getting the point of view from someone who was there really puts things in perspective. I hope this doesn't sound insensitive but it really is interesting to read not only how it affected us all but you in particular and how you changed certain habits after. I can definitely imagine how that kind of trauma sticks with you. It isn't something that can easily be forgotten, even two decades later.
no subject
Date: 2023-09-24 06:49 pm (UTC)