It's late and titles elude me...
Feb. 27th, 2024 07:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkat1. Mother called to inform that my Aunt N (her youngest sister and only remaining sister, her older sister died in 2000 at the age of 59) has a series of benign tumors on her heart valves. This resulted in a minor stroke. She informed my mother that talking felt like having cotton in her mouth. My Aunt is around 76? She's five years younger than mother. Mother is worried about her. There's nothing I can do for her, so am I putting it out of my head.
2. Listening to Jami Attenburg's Advice for Writers - 1000 words a day - a writer's guide to staying creative, focused and productive all year round with Wisdom and Inspiration from more than 50 writers.
I've kind of done everything they mention? I've written in long hand, then typed it, put it in a computer, etc. But I'm an intuitive writer? Not a planner? The story flows, and I don't always know the theme or where it is going until I get there. The first draft is me telling myself a story.
"Do not jump off the ship, do not apply to law school until you reach the end of your book."
Sigh, I did apply to law school before I completed the journey. Also completed the book.
Oh, and 1000 words is about four and a half pages of writing. (This is not a problem for me. I have 275,277 words in my current novel that I'm writing by the way. I think I wrote 1000 words this morning in long-hand in a journal on the way to work.)
Seinfeild apparently said to do "2 hours a day" and put a calendar that shows what you accomplished - the visual reminder. Jami writes down her word count. (I do not understand this at all. I don't think numerically. I honestly don't care how many words, pages, or time I've spent. I view it by how far I got in the story or the work. I realized this recently in how I think - I don't understand mathematical or numerical thinking. It's not logical to me. I figure out math via pattern analysis for the most part. It's why I can't count to save my life. Numbers just don't register for me in the same way they seem to - with others. I see them as "patterns"? I can remember them if they have a pattern to them or a sound to them?)
Every time I listen to writing advice or read it - it hits me that everyone handles this differently. We don't handle it the same way. For example - I don't need to be perfect on the computer screen, I can write on it the same as I would in long hand. It's no purer on the computer screen than in a notebook. She says that "we need it to be finished or perfect or done in the computer" - that's not true of everyone. There's a tendency to generalize on these things.
Writing Prompt: "Think about Winter and how it impacts your character directly, or how you think about your childhood during winter."
Hmm.
There's a discussion about racism and a hope for a color blind America by Coleman Hughes. (Author of "The End of Race Politics - Arguments for a Colorblind America, and the ideal of anti-racism in America by Coleman Hughes". One's a condemnation of White Fragility, and How to be an Anti-Racist by Khandi. His beef with neo-racist philosphy, rather agree with the view that race is only skin deep and we're ultimately one family not defined by skin color, instead it states that race is indelibly part of our psyche and who we are, and ingrained, and we need to accept it and go from there. His issues with "White Fragility" is that it states things like "white women shouldn't cry in front of black people - because black people associate it with lynching" - which he states that isn't what most black people would associate it with, and treats blacks like children that whites tip-toe around. Khandi - it's not focused on inner psychology, but on policy and outcomes. He calls it neo-racism. He feels it fails on generalizations, we can't do mono-cultures without falling into racism. Coleman prefers MLK's view - which is a broad based socio-economic class model, not racial model. Where reforms are based on socio-economic class reforms. Mentions many policies in the book - where Aid is provided on the basis of race, is at disadvantage of another race. If the policy is put in place that chooses whether you get something or not on basis of the color of your skin - is this not in of itself, racism, Coleman asks. (I don't know? Maybe?) Is the solution the color blind society?
Anyway it's more interesting a discussion than the previous one? Possibly because I've read How to be an Anti-Racist, and tried to read White Fragility (I got annoyed - sociologist/psychologist often annoy me.)
Racism is kind of impossible to discuss. Although, being me, I have with a wide assortment of people. Mainly because I'm curious about what other people think about it. Whether I should or not - is another issue. It's kind of like politics and religion - some people like to discuss it, others get offended or have very strong "personal" views on the topic. Figuring out which category folks fall into - isn't always as easy as it may seem. Is race only skin deep? And where does culture come into play? MLK believed that race was only skin deep and politics for the disadvantaged on the basis of economics and class not race, per Coleman.
I've mixed feelings. I agree with portions of Khandi's philosophy and bits of Coleman's. I don't really know. Neither does the interviewer for that matter. I kind of agree with the interviewer?
What to do? Coleman ssks that everyone check in with themselves to see if they are working to be colorblind in their own lives. Then fight for public policy that fights for socio-economic class not race.
Interviewer: How do we do it while also acknowledging the history of slavery, Jim Crow, and history of racism?
Coleman: We have museums, Black History Month..etc..
Interviewer: But isn't this superficial?
Coleman: Strongly contests - each of these things was hard fought, and we can have these accomplishments while fighting for a color-blind policy.
3. Still making my way through the Striesand Memoir. Have an hour and forty-seven minutes left. I got a chapter on her Back-to-Brooklyn Concert, where she sings with her son, Jason Gould (who apparently is a painter, a singer, a musician, an amateur architect, gardner, and writer/poet). She also gets upset that Sondheim wouldn't sign off on her doing a film version of Gypsey Rose Lee (I didn't know Sonheim was one of the authors of that musical?). To do it - she needed all the authors of it to sign off on it. Almost got to do it with Arthur Laurents - but he changed his mind, then died (at 95). She wanted to direct and play the role of Mama Rose at the age of 70 something. Sondeheim said she could do it - but she had to pick, not do both. So, alas, it didn't happen. (I think there was a television version? I don't know - I really don't like the musical - it irritates me.)
I warned Babs off of it yesterday. Mainly because Babs hates the Clintons. Striesand is best friends with the Clintons. Campaigned for them. And adopted Bill Clinton's mother. My warning resulted in getting more information from Babs about her family than I wanted to know. Apparently one cousin wrote two books on the evil Clintons, and how they had people killed, and she was shocked her cousin wasn't killed. (Probably because his source material was suspect, and no one believed it?). She did say she wasn't as conservative as the rest of her family - one niece works for Fox News as a Broadcaster (I shudder), and a cousin writers for Scean Hannity (I shudder). See? More information than I wanted. Hence the reason I avoid this topic at work. Although Babs is a Reagan Democrat, who hails from the Defense Industry (if you are pro-Defense, you were probably pro-Regan who put Defense first).
Babs: we need a strong defense because people can be scary. (Unfortunately she's not wrong about people being scary and nasty, however, I'm not sure I want to arm them either.)
Regan Democrats hate the Doofus. Most of them voted for Biden. They are old school. I feel sorry for them - their party has kind of failed them.
Right now? It's a choice between Biden and Fascism. Actually that's been the choice in 2016 (Hillary vs. Fascism), 2020 (Biden vs. Fascism), 2024 (Biden vs. Fascism take 2). Also you know the US is misogynistic - because they'd rather vote for two senile old guys then put a woman in office. I honestly think the contest should be between Kamala Harris and Nikki Haley, Biden and the Fascist Dingbat have no business running. They are above the age of 75. Come on.) American people are nitwits. Time to move somewhere else. We're still flirting with Canada, New Zealand, and Ireland. Maybe Portugal?
This isn't actually off-topic - the Streisand book is very political in places. But mainly it's about how great Streisand is. She's very good at promoting herself. She spends time explaining the Streisand Effect - she didn't want a photo of her house on the internet. No wait, she didn't mind the house being on the internet, she minded that it was labeled Barbra Streisand's house. (Can't say I blame her - I wouldn't want that either.) So she sued. It was a non-profit group (I've no idea why they decided to put the pictures of celebrity houses on their site - maybe to get traffic? She didn't appear to know either?) She lost. It's the internet. Privacy doesn't exist. We're all on it. Her buddy Lawrence Tribe told her that he wished she'd consulted him prior to suing - and he'd have told her that. (Yes, that Lawrence Tribe - apparently she audited one of his classes on Constitutional Law at Harvard, and they became fast friends.)
My take-away from the Streisand book is that if you are uber-talented, uber- successful, uber-rich (due to being uber-talented and successful) and uber-famous (due to the first three)- the sky's the limit. You get to meet literally everybody. (And she does. In spades.) She does get told no a lot though...so it's not all roses and lollipops. She wasn't allowed to direct and star in The Normal Heart or Gypsey Rose Lee. Also, there's something to be said for persistence coupled with support. You also get a lot of accolades, adoration, etc. Helped by the fact that Streisand hated performing on stage - and has only done 89 concerts in her lifetime. 89 separate concerts. So, if you saw her perform live - you are among the rare few and far between.
I don't recommend it. Wait for the abridged version - assuming it is ever available. I ended up fast-forwarding in places. (One can only listen to so many rave reviews about the author...we have equivalent of 20 hours of nothing but positive reviews on everything she does.)
I picked up Tina Brown's Vanity Fair Dairies for a follow-up, although may listen to fiction next. We'll see.
4. Union
They didn't ratify the union contract. (I voted for it, as did Babs, Sci-Fi Co-worker and a few others, but the majority, alas did not, including Moscow Co-worker). So, I don't get a raise as soon as expected. I honestly don't know when I'll get it. Could be this year, could be next, could be when I retire...last time this happened, we almost went on strike.
When the contract isn't ratified, (basically everyone votes to sign it or the majority does) we go into mediation. Luckily a bunch of other unions didn't sign either - so we have a coalition, which gives us more bargaining power.
5. Been having digestive issues today. I don't know what disagreed with my stomach at lunch. It was either the salmon. Or the kind energy bar. Or accidental glutened? At any rate - I was in and out of the bathroom for two hours straight. At work. And had stomach cramps until I got home. Finally dissipated.
Tonight had Southwestern Bean Soup (courtesy of Annie's Organic Soups), liverwurst, cheese, crackers, and apple in chocolate. Blood sugar went from 103 to 197. It's hanging out at 185 at the moment. I feel fine. I felt ill when it was at 103, which makes me wonder about the sensor to be honest.
6. Morning writing:
I remember an art teacher telling me at one point that - the best selling artists were often the worst. Which I've always found to be a bit of a salve to my envy. But she had a point in one aspect at least - to be successful - it helped to be good at marketing /promoting one's work, and willing to conform your art or story to others tastes (which tends to cheapen it a bit, but makes others more likely to buy it).
The envy - I find comes from a thwarted desire to accomplish certain things - and a need to rail, however justified, at those perceived to be standing in the way - either as competitors or detractors. It occurs to me that one of countering this is to volunteer or aid others in achieving their own dreams in this regard, no matter how futile.
The question is how?
I don't necessarily need a collaboration - with a lot of competing voices reaching for different means and ends. Nor a competition which always results in someone losing or feeling unfairly slighted and a gloating winner. A popularity contest that rarely is about the actual creation.
There must be a way of furthering and supporting others work and at the same time my own?
Artmaggedon - Beautify Brooklyn - may be a way to start? Along with maybe the FUUB Artist Way group via church? Perhaps reaching out to both - volunteering is a way to go?
I don't know. But no decisions need to be made now. I did pay $10 to join Artmaggedon - Beautify Brooklyn Artist's Collaborative. And still thinking about entering the Open Admissions for the Brooklyn Museum of Art, or looking into applying at any rate.
7. Good news - my niece got into her environmental conservation graduate Masters/Doctorate program at the University of Montana. And they want her badly enough, to provide a scholarship, research assistantship - then TA, and waive out of state admission. (Niece is, as you all know by now, brilliant.)
So game plan is to work her way up through the national park service in the summers, and work as research assistant/Ta during the year, and take various courses towards a degree in environmental conservation. Ultimate goal either work in Park Service or Teach or something along those lines.
Adorable thing. Couldn't be a prouder Auntie.
2. Listening to Jami Attenburg's Advice for Writers - 1000 words a day - a writer's guide to staying creative, focused and productive all year round with Wisdom and Inspiration from more than 50 writers.
I've kind of done everything they mention? I've written in long hand, then typed it, put it in a computer, etc. But I'm an intuitive writer? Not a planner? The story flows, and I don't always know the theme or where it is going until I get there. The first draft is me telling myself a story.
"Do not jump off the ship, do not apply to law school until you reach the end of your book."
Sigh, I did apply to law school before I completed the journey. Also completed the book.
Oh, and 1000 words is about four and a half pages of writing. (This is not a problem for me. I have 275,277 words in my current novel that I'm writing by the way. I think I wrote 1000 words this morning in long-hand in a journal on the way to work.)
Seinfeild apparently said to do "2 hours a day" and put a calendar that shows what you accomplished - the visual reminder. Jami writes down her word count. (I do not understand this at all. I don't think numerically. I honestly don't care how many words, pages, or time I've spent. I view it by how far I got in the story or the work. I realized this recently in how I think - I don't understand mathematical or numerical thinking. It's not logical to me. I figure out math via pattern analysis for the most part. It's why I can't count to save my life. Numbers just don't register for me in the same way they seem to - with others. I see them as "patterns"? I can remember them if they have a pattern to them or a sound to them?)
Every time I listen to writing advice or read it - it hits me that everyone handles this differently. We don't handle it the same way. For example - I don't need to be perfect on the computer screen, I can write on it the same as I would in long hand. It's no purer on the computer screen than in a notebook. She says that "we need it to be finished or perfect or done in the computer" - that's not true of everyone. There's a tendency to generalize on these things.
Writing Prompt: "Think about Winter and how it impacts your character directly, or how you think about your childhood during winter."
Hmm.
There's a discussion about racism and a hope for a color blind America by Coleman Hughes. (Author of "The End of Race Politics - Arguments for a Colorblind America, and the ideal of anti-racism in America by Coleman Hughes". One's a condemnation of White Fragility, and How to be an Anti-Racist by Khandi. His beef with neo-racist philosphy, rather agree with the view that race is only skin deep and we're ultimately one family not defined by skin color, instead it states that race is indelibly part of our psyche and who we are, and ingrained, and we need to accept it and go from there. His issues with "White Fragility" is that it states things like "white women shouldn't cry in front of black people - because black people associate it with lynching" - which he states that isn't what most black people would associate it with, and treats blacks like children that whites tip-toe around. Khandi - it's not focused on inner psychology, but on policy and outcomes. He calls it neo-racism. He feels it fails on generalizations, we can't do mono-cultures without falling into racism. Coleman prefers MLK's view - which is a broad based socio-economic class model, not racial model. Where reforms are based on socio-economic class reforms. Mentions many policies in the book - where Aid is provided on the basis of race, is at disadvantage of another race. If the policy is put in place that chooses whether you get something or not on basis of the color of your skin - is this not in of itself, racism, Coleman asks. (I don't know? Maybe?) Is the solution the color blind society?
Anyway it's more interesting a discussion than the previous one? Possibly because I've read How to be an Anti-Racist, and tried to read White Fragility (I got annoyed - sociologist/psychologist often annoy me.)
Racism is kind of impossible to discuss. Although, being me, I have with a wide assortment of people. Mainly because I'm curious about what other people think about it. Whether I should or not - is another issue. It's kind of like politics and religion - some people like to discuss it, others get offended or have very strong "personal" views on the topic. Figuring out which category folks fall into - isn't always as easy as it may seem. Is race only skin deep? And where does culture come into play? MLK believed that race was only skin deep and politics for the disadvantaged on the basis of economics and class not race, per Coleman.
I've mixed feelings. I agree with portions of Khandi's philosophy and bits of Coleman's. I don't really know. Neither does the interviewer for that matter. I kind of agree with the interviewer?
What to do? Coleman ssks that everyone check in with themselves to see if they are working to be colorblind in their own lives. Then fight for public policy that fights for socio-economic class not race.
Interviewer: How do we do it while also acknowledging the history of slavery, Jim Crow, and history of racism?
Coleman: We have museums, Black History Month..etc..
Interviewer: But isn't this superficial?
Coleman: Strongly contests - each of these things was hard fought, and we can have these accomplishments while fighting for a color-blind policy.
3. Still making my way through the Striesand Memoir. Have an hour and forty-seven minutes left. I got a chapter on her Back-to-Brooklyn Concert, where she sings with her son, Jason Gould (who apparently is a painter, a singer, a musician, an amateur architect, gardner, and writer/poet). She also gets upset that Sondheim wouldn't sign off on her doing a film version of Gypsey Rose Lee (I didn't know Sonheim was one of the authors of that musical?). To do it - she needed all the authors of it to sign off on it. Almost got to do it with Arthur Laurents - but he changed his mind, then died (at 95). She wanted to direct and play the role of Mama Rose at the age of 70 something. Sondeheim said she could do it - but she had to pick, not do both. So, alas, it didn't happen. (I think there was a television version? I don't know - I really don't like the musical - it irritates me.)
I warned Babs off of it yesterday. Mainly because Babs hates the Clintons. Striesand is best friends with the Clintons. Campaigned for them. And adopted Bill Clinton's mother. My warning resulted in getting more information from Babs about her family than I wanted to know. Apparently one cousin wrote two books on the evil Clintons, and how they had people killed, and she was shocked her cousin wasn't killed. (Probably because his source material was suspect, and no one believed it?). She did say she wasn't as conservative as the rest of her family - one niece works for Fox News as a Broadcaster (I shudder), and a cousin writers for Scean Hannity (I shudder). See? More information than I wanted. Hence the reason I avoid this topic at work. Although Babs is a Reagan Democrat, who hails from the Defense Industry (if you are pro-Defense, you were probably pro-Regan who put Defense first).
Babs: we need a strong defense because people can be scary. (Unfortunately she's not wrong about people being scary and nasty, however, I'm not sure I want to arm them either.)
Regan Democrats hate the Doofus. Most of them voted for Biden. They are old school. I feel sorry for them - their party has kind of failed them.
Right now? It's a choice between Biden and Fascism. Actually that's been the choice in 2016 (Hillary vs. Fascism), 2020 (Biden vs. Fascism), 2024 (Biden vs. Fascism take 2). Also you know the US is misogynistic - because they'd rather vote for two senile old guys then put a woman in office. I honestly think the contest should be between Kamala Harris and Nikki Haley, Biden and the Fascist Dingbat have no business running. They are above the age of 75. Come on.) American people are nitwits. Time to move somewhere else. We're still flirting with Canada, New Zealand, and Ireland. Maybe Portugal?
This isn't actually off-topic - the Streisand book is very political in places. But mainly it's about how great Streisand is. She's very good at promoting herself. She spends time explaining the Streisand Effect - she didn't want a photo of her house on the internet. No wait, she didn't mind the house being on the internet, she minded that it was labeled Barbra Streisand's house. (Can't say I blame her - I wouldn't want that either.) So she sued. It was a non-profit group (I've no idea why they decided to put the pictures of celebrity houses on their site - maybe to get traffic? She didn't appear to know either?) She lost. It's the internet. Privacy doesn't exist. We're all on it. Her buddy Lawrence Tribe told her that he wished she'd consulted him prior to suing - and he'd have told her that. (Yes, that Lawrence Tribe - apparently she audited one of his classes on Constitutional Law at Harvard, and they became fast friends.)
My take-away from the Streisand book is that if you are uber-talented, uber- successful, uber-rich (due to being uber-talented and successful) and uber-famous (due to the first three)- the sky's the limit. You get to meet literally everybody. (And she does. In spades.) She does get told no a lot though...so it's not all roses and lollipops. She wasn't allowed to direct and star in The Normal Heart or Gypsey Rose Lee. Also, there's something to be said for persistence coupled with support. You also get a lot of accolades, adoration, etc. Helped by the fact that Streisand hated performing on stage - and has only done 89 concerts in her lifetime. 89 separate concerts. So, if you saw her perform live - you are among the rare few and far between.
I don't recommend it. Wait for the abridged version - assuming it is ever available. I ended up fast-forwarding in places. (One can only listen to so many rave reviews about the author...we have equivalent of 20 hours of nothing but positive reviews on everything she does.)
I picked up Tina Brown's Vanity Fair Dairies for a follow-up, although may listen to fiction next. We'll see.
4. Union
They didn't ratify the union contract. (I voted for it, as did Babs, Sci-Fi Co-worker and a few others, but the majority, alas did not, including Moscow Co-worker). So, I don't get a raise as soon as expected. I honestly don't know when I'll get it. Could be this year, could be next, could be when I retire...last time this happened, we almost went on strike.
When the contract isn't ratified, (basically everyone votes to sign it or the majority does) we go into mediation. Luckily a bunch of other unions didn't sign either - so we have a coalition, which gives us more bargaining power.
5. Been having digestive issues today. I don't know what disagreed with my stomach at lunch. It was either the salmon. Or the kind energy bar. Or accidental glutened? At any rate - I was in and out of the bathroom for two hours straight. At work. And had stomach cramps until I got home. Finally dissipated.
Tonight had Southwestern Bean Soup (courtesy of Annie's Organic Soups), liverwurst, cheese, crackers, and apple in chocolate. Blood sugar went from 103 to 197. It's hanging out at 185 at the moment. I feel fine. I felt ill when it was at 103, which makes me wonder about the sensor to be honest.
6. Morning writing:
I remember an art teacher telling me at one point that - the best selling artists were often the worst. Which I've always found to be a bit of a salve to my envy. But she had a point in one aspect at least - to be successful - it helped to be good at marketing /promoting one's work, and willing to conform your art or story to others tastes (which tends to cheapen it a bit, but makes others more likely to buy it).
The envy - I find comes from a thwarted desire to accomplish certain things - and a need to rail, however justified, at those perceived to be standing in the way - either as competitors or detractors. It occurs to me that one of countering this is to volunteer or aid others in achieving their own dreams in this regard, no matter how futile.
The question is how?
I don't necessarily need a collaboration - with a lot of competing voices reaching for different means and ends. Nor a competition which always results in someone losing or feeling unfairly slighted and a gloating winner. A popularity contest that rarely is about the actual creation.
There must be a way of furthering and supporting others work and at the same time my own?
Artmaggedon - Beautify Brooklyn - may be a way to start? Along with maybe the FUUB Artist Way group via church? Perhaps reaching out to both - volunteering is a way to go?
I don't know. But no decisions need to be made now. I did pay $10 to join Artmaggedon - Beautify Brooklyn Artist's Collaborative. And still thinking about entering the Open Admissions for the Brooklyn Museum of Art, or looking into applying at any rate.
7. Good news - my niece got into her environmental conservation graduate Masters/Doctorate program at the University of Montana. And they want her badly enough, to provide a scholarship, research assistantship - then TA, and waive out of state admission. (Niece is, as you all know by now, brilliant.)
So game plan is to work her way up through the national park service in the summers, and work as research assistant/Ta during the year, and take various courses towards a degree in environmental conservation. Ultimate goal either work in Park Service or Teach or something along those lines.
Adorable thing. Couldn't be a prouder Auntie.