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shadowkatRather loved this Post - entitled Anti-Shipping as Hate.
Actually all of it. I think most people should probably read it. It kind of underlines the issues that I've had in various fandoms with the "anti-shippers" or morally holier-than-thous, who felt the need to attack myself and others for either shipping or loving fictional storylines or character that they despised or felt were morally repugnant.
I think some of the difficulty is a lot of people tend to take a morally superior attitude, or feel they are taking the moral higher ground and need to "educate" someone else to see things their way. But the difficulty with that - is we're all flawed, with various quirks. And whose to say what the moral higher ground actually is? It's a sliding scale and often the lines are blurred. And in assuming it - the individual could easily be falling into the role of cyberbully without realizing it? Just because someone loves a messy fictional relationship or character or television series, does not mean they support or like that behavior in actuality. I met someone who loved The Bachelor (which I find morally repugnant) because they liked watching people who were worse off than they were. (They stated at least I'm not like that.) We may love to watch or read abusive relationships in fiction, but steer clear of those in reality and be lucky enough to never have experienced them. While others may have or have had abusive relationships in reality and steer clear of them in fiction, often that's why they steer clear, it triggers them.
Example? I steered clear of the television comedy series The Office, because I'd experienced something similar in reality. While someone else loved it and the lead, because they either never had or experienced it very differently than I had.
The internet, specifically some social media platforms - have a tendency to bring out the worst in people. Twitter (Xitter) is set up as a marketing platform - where a negative tweet will be retweeted and quoted across it in seconds. It actually is set up for negative marketing to thrive. It wants controversy and battles. Dreamwidth isn't set up that way - it's more of an interactive correspondence site, and kind of pushes against that behavior, it has monitoring safeguards in place. We can control who and what we see on this platform far better than others. The old Voy users groups were also kind of set against it, since too many posts broke those sites, and they had headings and ways you could avoid the trolls easily. And were well monitored. But, Tumblr, Twitter, Bluesky, and Facebook - don't have those safeguards or not to the same extent. Facebook has gotten better at least.
Bullying others who do not share our opinions or views brings out the worst in all of us, I think. Often, when emotions get involved, instead of being curious, we get into pushing our own view onto someone else, or being right or validating that view or experience. I'm embarrassed to admit that I've certainly been guilty of that in the past. It's a remarkably easy trap to fall into.
I've learned (the hard way) that you cannot control another person's perspective on things or even change it. Why should they listen to me? Or anyone online for that matter? That perspective has been built over timeand was developed by factors outside of my understanding, knowledge or experience, just as mine was outside of theirs. And their experience is as valid as mine. And, as I keep reminding myself, it's actually a miracle when our perspectives agree or are on the same page.
Actually all of it. I think most people should probably read it. It kind of underlines the issues that I've had in various fandoms with the "anti-shippers" or morally holier-than-thous, who felt the need to attack myself and others for either shipping or loving fictional storylines or character that they despised or felt were morally repugnant.
I think some of the difficulty is a lot of people tend to take a morally superior attitude, or feel they are taking the moral higher ground and need to "educate" someone else to see things their way. But the difficulty with that - is we're all flawed, with various quirks. And whose to say what the moral higher ground actually is? It's a sliding scale and often the lines are blurred. And in assuming it - the individual could easily be falling into the role of cyberbully without realizing it? Just because someone loves a messy fictional relationship or character or television series, does not mean they support or like that behavior in actuality. I met someone who loved The Bachelor (which I find morally repugnant) because they liked watching people who were worse off than they were. (They stated at least I'm not like that.) We may love to watch or read abusive relationships in fiction, but steer clear of those in reality and be lucky enough to never have experienced them. While others may have or have had abusive relationships in reality and steer clear of them in fiction, often that's why they steer clear, it triggers them.
Example? I steered clear of the television comedy series The Office, because I'd experienced something similar in reality. While someone else loved it and the lead, because they either never had or experienced it very differently than I had.
The internet, specifically some social media platforms - have a tendency to bring out the worst in people. Twitter (Xitter) is set up as a marketing platform - where a negative tweet will be retweeted and quoted across it in seconds. It actually is set up for negative marketing to thrive. It wants controversy and battles. Dreamwidth isn't set up that way - it's more of an interactive correspondence site, and kind of pushes against that behavior, it has monitoring safeguards in place. We can control who and what we see on this platform far better than others. The old Voy users groups were also kind of set against it, since too many posts broke those sites, and they had headings and ways you could avoid the trolls easily. And were well monitored. But, Tumblr, Twitter, Bluesky, and Facebook - don't have those safeguards or not to the same extent. Facebook has gotten better at least.
Bullying others who do not share our opinions or views brings out the worst in all of us, I think. Often, when emotions get involved, instead of being curious, we get into pushing our own view onto someone else, or being right or validating that view or experience. I'm embarrassed to admit that I've certainly been guilty of that in the past. It's a remarkably easy trap to fall into.
I've learned (the hard way) that you cannot control another person's perspective on things or even change it. Why should they listen to me? Or anyone online for that matter? That perspective has been built over timeand was developed by factors outside of my understanding, knowledge or experience, just as mine was outside of theirs. And their experience is as valid as mine. And, as I keep reminding myself, it's actually a miracle when our perspectives agree or are on the same page.