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Mar. 24th, 2024 08:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkat1.) Dreading work tomorrow - I'm being forced to move cubicles, leaving the one I've gotten used to for one near Babs for no rational reason, except management got bored and decided to play musical cubicles. And BOSS decided to take a big shit on his way out the door as a parting gift - something to remember him by. He's spending the next month in France at the French Open.
I'm kind of hoping France has a spat of nasty weather.
Mostly I'm worried about the computer set-up, our IT department is not the best in the Universe (I work for a government agency, we get the dregs.)
Feeling a little lost in my life at the moment. Like I don't quite belong anywhere nor am I really wanted. It is most likely temporary and all in my head.
2) Mother found out this weekend that her friend MG has stage 3 or 4 cancer in the kidney and lymph nodes. (MG = Mean Girlfriend, is the woman I've been talking about for the past two years in this journal off and on, and is one of my mother's closest friends for over twenty-six years.) She's been suffering from internal bleeding again. And they can't take her off of the respirators. Also she's in the ICU. I feel horrible. Poor Mama. She has two friends who dying of cancer - one with advanced lung and throat cancer, the other with advanced kidney cancer. They removed the kidney, but it hasn't helped. And it doesn't appear that MG will survive this or has much longer.
A friend of mothers drove her into Savannah to see MG, and they both agreed she doesn't have much time left. Mother is devastated - MG was the one friend she could discuss losing my father with - the others have grown weary of hearing about it. But they had lost their husbands at the same time, and their husbands were close friends, so they could discuss their mutual loss.
3. I've been struggling with anger lately. I desperately want to punch the world in the nose. Give it a bloody nose and a black eye. But alas I can't.
It's futile anger. It can't go anywhere.
Born of rejection, frustration, and lack of control over various portions of my life.
Decided not to go to my church this morning - my body was adamant, it did not want to go. My mind tried to talk it into it, and it's like - eh, that would be a no. We're very happy just sitting here, thank you very much. We have a tough week ahead, and we don't want to sit in a windowless room (stained glass windows - so not exactly windowless) on a sunny day with people we don't know and who don't care about us. We have to do that on Monday.
Kind of similar to the CPAP Machine. My body is not on board.
So I watched on FB and was glad I stayed home. Also gave me a chance to check out the Community Unitarian Church service on FB, also available on Youtube, and I quite enjoyed it. I might do it instead - it's heavier on the sermons - had two, and not so heavy on the ritual, also less into the kids and religious education - which is separate. It is further away 34th and Madison Avenue, but if I'm going to take the subway - might as well go further into the city. Considering it as an option for Easter - it has Dancers.
4. Television
* Watched Nolly on Masterpiece, had to buy the first episode. For about $2.99. Because I missed last week's. It's about Noele Gordon, who is a long-running soap star on CrossRoads, having started on television in 1935. In 1975, they decide somewhat arbitrarily it seems to sack her. It stars Helena Bonham Carter as Nolly. It's playing on PBS, I just missed the first episode.
* Ark: The Animated Series - well animated and put together. It's Australian. And pro-climate/environmental issues, also pro LGBTA, and diverse. The Heroine is an Australian Aboriginal Paleontologist. She wakes up in the middle of the ocean, and is chased by a shark to land. No idea where or when she is - and runs across some guy from the 1940s, she's from the 21st Century or our time.
She's as far as I can tell, a lesbian. And was married to a woman, Victoria, voiced by Elliot Page. Michelle Yeoh plays a female warrior that befriends her.
Made it through about two episodes so far. All have dropped. It's on Paramount Plus.
Hmm. Sleepy. Thinking of going to bed earlier tonight, maybe read a little, and take melatonin. I bought some more - straight melatonin, 10 mg tablets.
I'm kind of hoping France has a spat of nasty weather.
Mostly I'm worried about the computer set-up, our IT department is not the best in the Universe (I work for a government agency, we get the dregs.)
Feeling a little lost in my life at the moment. Like I don't quite belong anywhere nor am I really wanted. It is most likely temporary and all in my head.
2) Mother found out this weekend that her friend MG has stage 3 or 4 cancer in the kidney and lymph nodes. (MG = Mean Girlfriend, is the woman I've been talking about for the past two years in this journal off and on, and is one of my mother's closest friends for over twenty-six years.) She's been suffering from internal bleeding again. And they can't take her off of the respirators. Also she's in the ICU. I feel horrible. Poor Mama. She has two friends who dying of cancer - one with advanced lung and throat cancer, the other with advanced kidney cancer. They removed the kidney, but it hasn't helped. And it doesn't appear that MG will survive this or has much longer.
A friend of mothers drove her into Savannah to see MG, and they both agreed she doesn't have much time left. Mother is devastated - MG was the one friend she could discuss losing my father with - the others have grown weary of hearing about it. But they had lost their husbands at the same time, and their husbands were close friends, so they could discuss their mutual loss.
3. I've been struggling with anger lately. I desperately want to punch the world in the nose. Give it a bloody nose and a black eye. But alas I can't.
It's futile anger. It can't go anywhere.
Born of rejection, frustration, and lack of control over various portions of my life.
Decided not to go to my church this morning - my body was adamant, it did not want to go. My mind tried to talk it into it, and it's like - eh, that would be a no. We're very happy just sitting here, thank you very much. We have a tough week ahead, and we don't want to sit in a windowless room (stained glass windows - so not exactly windowless) on a sunny day with people we don't know and who don't care about us. We have to do that on Monday.
Kind of similar to the CPAP Machine. My body is not on board.
So I watched on FB and was glad I stayed home. Also gave me a chance to check out the Community Unitarian Church service on FB, also available on Youtube, and I quite enjoyed it. I might do it instead - it's heavier on the sermons - had two, and not so heavy on the ritual, also less into the kids and religious education - which is separate. It is further away 34th and Madison Avenue, but if I'm going to take the subway - might as well go further into the city. Considering it as an option for Easter - it has Dancers.
4. Television
* Watched Nolly on Masterpiece, had to buy the first episode. For about $2.99. Because I missed last week's. It's about Noele Gordon, who is a long-running soap star on CrossRoads, having started on television in 1935. In 1975, they decide somewhat arbitrarily it seems to sack her. It stars Helena Bonham Carter as Nolly. It's playing on PBS, I just missed the first episode.
* Ark: The Animated Series - well animated and put together. It's Australian. And pro-climate/environmental issues, also pro LGBTA, and diverse. The Heroine is an Australian Aboriginal Paleontologist. She wakes up in the middle of the ocean, and is chased by a shark to land. No idea where or when she is - and runs across some guy from the 1940s, she's from the 21st Century or our time.
She's as far as I can tell, a lesbian. And was married to a woman, Victoria, voiced by Elliot Page. Michelle Yeoh plays a female warrior that befriends her.
Made it through about two episodes so far. All have dropped. It's on Paramount Plus.
Hmm. Sleepy. Thinking of going to bed earlier tonight, maybe read a little, and take melatonin. I bought some more - straight melatonin, 10 mg tablets.
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Date: 2024-03-25 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-28 02:18 am (UTC)