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Sep. 2nd, 2024 11:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatHappy Labor Day to those who celebrate - ie, live in the US and work in jobs that would take the day off.
It's a beautiful day in my neighborhood. I need to motivate myself to take a walk and clean out the closet between the kitchen and living room or foyer closet. Which is supposed to be a pantry - but it has everything but pantry items...well with the exception of maybe the occasional paper towels. I don't want to clean it out. It's a pain. And takes forever. Also, I don't know what to do with most of the stuff. So procrastinating. Also don't want to take a walk to either the park or Greenwood at the moment.
Greenwood should be open? I can check of course. It's the better bet - no people.
Tomorrow - doctor's appointment/physical - at 11, so that day is basically traveling to doctor, seeing doctor, getting food, going home.
Watched a distressing mental health video about a television actress who recalled her experience being drugged and violently raped. She had no memory of the rape itself. Someone offered to buy her a drink - a glass of wine, they slipped a ruthie into it, and the next thing she remembered was waking up in someone else's clothes in a bed in an apartment in Williamsburg, Brooklyn looking out a window facing a brick wall. She didn't realize they were someone else's clothes until a thirty year old "kid" (she called him a kid - so she was in her forties at the time) tells her that she was wearing his girlfriend's clothes. She gets back to her hotel - Jolie, a nice one, and discovers she was violently raped via the "back door". She does all the right things to catch the guy - sees a private doctor, does the exam and rape kit, tracks the guy down via her burner phone, she has two phones - to protect her number from spam. He admits to having sex with her while she "was drunk" or out of it - at first he says no, then yes, then condom. She gets the texts to the police. The Brooklyn Police lose her case file. Then she discovers they were investigating the wrong day. Being from out-of-state - she's unable to get any resources such as an attorney assigned to her, to advocate for her, and as result she doesn't get justice. Instead she is ridiculed and shrugged off by the police. They also refuse to release her records unless she claims a 5150, which is mental health and committed to an asylum.
I live in Brooklyn. And this happened to her in 04, I was living here in 04, although I've never been to Williamsburg - and it was not a great place back then, in the midst of being gentrified, under construction, and up and coming, in other words, be very careful. I am leery of men, particularly in bars, and do not accept drinks that I don't get myself. I watch the bartender make it and get it directly from them. There's a reason for that. Also, it's not just Brooklyn, it's everywhere. I was leery and careful in Lawrence, KS, and heard stories about it happening there, along with Colorado Springs, and certainly London, as far back as the 1980s.
The difficulty our society has is male privilege. Men have gotten away with horrible crimes for more than a millennial now. Either due to having more money or wealth, opportunity, or physical prowess. It's not deserved. You shouldn't get anything based on gender alone. Not one thing. Not even respect. I don't care what your gender is. Having a penis does not make you worthy of anything. And it can be easily removed. That is a body part that is insanely easy to damage. I think about how easy it is to damage it every time I hear a story about rape.
The interviewer, who is male, tells the actress that we really need to stop the whole he said/she said dynamic. And I'm thinking except that's not what happened here. She had actual proof. Her story could be corroborated. No, the police screwed up. They dropped the ball. And I believe it - the NYPD has been ripped apart to the point in which they are on their third or fourth police commissioner, and had security cameras installed to watch their behavior on the streets. Also get reviewed constantly. I don't know if they are any better now than they were in 04. They were pretty horrible in the early 00s, I had my own nasty experience when I got robbed.
The he said/she said thing is problematic in that if you want "due process" and "human rights" - it needs to apply to everybody, even gross rapists we'd like to castrate. You can't go by testimonials alone. An accusation is merely an accusation until backed up with corroborative evidence. The actress had it - but the police dropped the ball. The difficulty is - people do these things, because the consequences aren't severe. They are if you are "a celebrity" but only to the extent that your career is brought to a halt and you are "cancelled" on social media. But they aren't that severe if you are Joe Nobody drugging women in bars or taking women who've been drugged in bars by someone else. It's almost impossible to report it - without being stigmatized, the police and Special Victims Unit often drops the ball, and there aren't enough resources to help the victims.
Ugh, this makes life harder. Another "there but for the grace of god, go I" stories. Also, validates the things I do to keep myself safe. I don't drink, I don't frequent bars, and I stay away from various places or don't venture there alone.
It's a beautiful day in my neighborhood. I need to motivate myself to take a walk and clean out the closet between the kitchen and living room or foyer closet. Which is supposed to be a pantry - but it has everything but pantry items...well with the exception of maybe the occasional paper towels. I don't want to clean it out. It's a pain. And takes forever. Also, I don't know what to do with most of the stuff. So procrastinating. Also don't want to take a walk to either the park or Greenwood at the moment.
Greenwood should be open? I can check of course. It's the better bet - no people.
Tomorrow - doctor's appointment/physical - at 11, so that day is basically traveling to doctor, seeing doctor, getting food, going home.
Watched a distressing mental health video about a television actress who recalled her experience being drugged and violently raped. She had no memory of the rape itself. Someone offered to buy her a drink - a glass of wine, they slipped a ruthie into it, and the next thing she remembered was waking up in someone else's clothes in a bed in an apartment in Williamsburg, Brooklyn looking out a window facing a brick wall. She didn't realize they were someone else's clothes until a thirty year old "kid" (she called him a kid - so she was in her forties at the time) tells her that she was wearing his girlfriend's clothes. She gets back to her hotel - Jolie, a nice one, and discovers she was violently raped via the "back door". She does all the right things to catch the guy - sees a private doctor, does the exam and rape kit, tracks the guy down via her burner phone, she has two phones - to protect her number from spam. He admits to having sex with her while she "was drunk" or out of it - at first he says no, then yes, then condom. She gets the texts to the police. The Brooklyn Police lose her case file. Then she discovers they were investigating the wrong day. Being from out-of-state - she's unable to get any resources such as an attorney assigned to her, to advocate for her, and as result she doesn't get justice. Instead she is ridiculed and shrugged off by the police. They also refuse to release her records unless she claims a 5150, which is mental health and committed to an asylum.
I live in Brooklyn. And this happened to her in 04, I was living here in 04, although I've never been to Williamsburg - and it was not a great place back then, in the midst of being gentrified, under construction, and up and coming, in other words, be very careful. I am leery of men, particularly in bars, and do not accept drinks that I don't get myself. I watch the bartender make it and get it directly from them. There's a reason for that. Also, it's not just Brooklyn, it's everywhere. I was leery and careful in Lawrence, KS, and heard stories about it happening there, along with Colorado Springs, and certainly London, as far back as the 1980s.
The difficulty our society has is male privilege. Men have gotten away with horrible crimes for more than a millennial now. Either due to having more money or wealth, opportunity, or physical prowess. It's not deserved. You shouldn't get anything based on gender alone. Not one thing. Not even respect. I don't care what your gender is. Having a penis does not make you worthy of anything. And it can be easily removed. That is a body part that is insanely easy to damage. I think about how easy it is to damage it every time I hear a story about rape.
The interviewer, who is male, tells the actress that we really need to stop the whole he said/she said dynamic. And I'm thinking except that's not what happened here. She had actual proof. Her story could be corroborated. No, the police screwed up. They dropped the ball. And I believe it - the NYPD has been ripped apart to the point in which they are on their third or fourth police commissioner, and had security cameras installed to watch their behavior on the streets. Also get reviewed constantly. I don't know if they are any better now than they were in 04. They were pretty horrible in the early 00s, I had my own nasty experience when I got robbed.
The he said/she said thing is problematic in that if you want "due process" and "human rights" - it needs to apply to everybody, even gross rapists we'd like to castrate. You can't go by testimonials alone. An accusation is merely an accusation until backed up with corroborative evidence. The actress had it - but the police dropped the ball. The difficulty is - people do these things, because the consequences aren't severe. They are if you are "a celebrity" but only to the extent that your career is brought to a halt and you are "cancelled" on social media. But they aren't that severe if you are Joe Nobody drugging women in bars or taking women who've been drugged in bars by someone else. It's almost impossible to report it - without being stigmatized, the police and Special Victims Unit often drops the ball, and there aren't enough resources to help the victims.
Ugh, this makes life harder. Another "there but for the grace of god, go I" stories. Also, validates the things I do to keep myself safe. I don't drink, I don't frequent bars, and I stay away from various places or don't venture there alone.