Saturday...is hanging loose or trying to?
Dec. 6th, 2025 09:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatThe folks singing in the lobby - aka the apartment Christmas Party, can't sing. So, I put on my headphones and decided to listen to EMDR Bilateral Simulation to block it out, and to calm my nervous system, which is kind of keyed up.
The apartment building Christmas Party - was not what I'd expected? Instead of a party for the complex celebrating the building's 100th birthday, it was more a gathering of a select group of people and their kids to visit with Santa, get gifts, sing songs with audio equipment, and have a pizza party with cupcakes, brownies, cookies and snacks.
Mother: What ethnicity?
Me: White people, Midwestern or Western transplants, thirty-somethings with small children, and two people from Asia who stood off from the rest, and looked like I did, out of place.
Mother: Really? No Blacks?
Me: Nope. At least not in the lobby. Not that there aren't Blacks in the building, there are, quite a few, but none at that party. No Russian Jews either, or Bengali, or anyone who wasn't white, under the age of 40, with little kids, with the exception of maybe three people including me. And I left after 45 minutes of feeling rather uncomfortably invisible. The party wasn't for me.
None of the people I knew, or had talked to - or connected with - were there.
See? This is why I'm not a fan of a lot of parties.
So, having been weirdly triggered food wise, I came back up and had left-over chili (I make a mean vegetarian gluten-free chili, if I say so myself), gluten free NY Cheesecake (small) with berries, and some pumpkin latte ice cream with nuts. Oatmilk eggnog with a touch of brandy to drink.
Then watched the rest of Otto Preminger's classic adaptation of Leon Uris' epic "Exodus" on Amazon Prime, starring Paul Newman, Eva Marie Saint, Sal Mineo, John Derek, Sir Ralph Richardson, and Lee J. Cob. I'd been watching it off and on most of the day.
(The book was actually better - I read it in high school, but the film has some excellent and understated performances in it, even if it shows it's age - it was done in 1960.) Not to be confused with the Moses Story, this is the story of the battle to create Israel in 1948, after WWII during the British occupation. Exodus does an excellent job of getting across the constant fighting and in-fighting with various factions over Israel. Also, the inherent prejudices involved. It really highlights the prejudices and stupid assumptions based on them. Paul Newman, who is Jewish, plays the romantic lead, and people can't tell he's Jewish, because he doesn't fit the stereotype. One of the main themes in the film - is how people aren't as different as they think, and our differences are all in our heads - and look at all the violence and misery that could be averted if we could just get over ourselves and our own ignorance? Timely that. It holds up now. I almost wish they'd remake it or reshow it? It starts off with the British being the bad guys, and slowly through the film it shows that the British were (albeit poorly) trying to maintain the peace between the Jewish People hunting a homeland and the Arabs who didn't want them there. Once the British leave (which neither group wanted there), the Arab leader basically decides to exterminate the interloping Jews. This film aired in 1960, and the film takes place in 1948. The book was written in the 1950s. And the Israel/Gaza conflict which is eerily similar is happening in 2025 more than 80 years later. Gives you pause, doesn't it?
I watched it - because I remembered it being one my favorite Paul Newman films. Also I've been listening to the Newman memoir on audible. Newman keeps stating in his book that he wasn't a great actor, he was just good enough, and it didn't set his world on fire or anything. He hadn't found his calling. And he is convinced he probably had a learning disability - because he struggled with reading his entire life, and struggled to memorize lines - as if he didn't quite do it properly or something, but he didn't quite know why or how. (Sounds like dyslexia to me? I struggled with memorizing lines too for similar reasons.) I read well now - but I had to work at it, and still do, I have all sorts of tricks that I apply, most of which I'm no longer aware of doing, and couldn't explain to anyone.
It's astonishing that he actually thinks this - because his acting seems effortless. He's effortlessly charming, charismatic, and pulls in the audience - even in a film like Exodus. He also didn't think of himself as attractive to women or anyone. He reminds me of my brother - who didn't see it either. Often the most attractive people are the ones who are the most oblivious to it.
***
I'm enjoying S2 Angel much more than expected. [Even though, David Boreanze is not as thin and hot as he was in Buffy S1-3.] Most likely assisted by the fact that I couldn't remember most of it - having not watched it since it aired or shortly thereafter? I thought I remembered it better than I had? But I totally forgot about Angel's Darla dreams, or how Darla was seducing Angel in his sleep. I also forgot about the scenes with Cordelia and Gunn bonding. They have some nifty platonic scenes between Cordelia/Gunn, and Cordelia/Wes - indicating that Cordelia most likely gets along better with men than women? Cordelia is growing on me, and I don't remember liking Cordy this much when I watched the series back in the day? (I think the difficulty was I came in and out of it, and like all the characters, she has her ups and downs.)
Finished watching First Impressions - which is the third episode of Angel S2. It establishes Lorne's club as another new set. We've moved from the Bar that Angel met Kate at in S1, to Lorne's Demon Bar. In this episode, Angel dreams of singing Send in the Clowns and Tears of the Clown, at Lorne's club - apparently he was going for a medley (which was thankfully off screen - since David Boreanze can't sing to save his life. And I'd rather he didn't butcher one of my favorite Sondheim songs.) Believe it or not, Tears of the Clown is actually a song by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles with a lyric like "there's sad things around but nothing sadder than the tears of a clown when there's no one around".
I'm thinking okay, where are we going with this? Is this a dream? It is - he's meeting Darla at Lorne's bar, and starts dating her, and having a relationship with her in his dreams.
This is a clever on multiple levels. Darla is the perfect femme fatale - and fits the noir verse perfectly, she's also a good counter point/foil to platonic Cordelia, brunette, and there's no sex, with blunt honesty. Add to that - Angel's defining moment wasn't sleeping with Buffy so much as it was killing Darla. He killed Darla to save Buffy, and prove himself to Buffy in Buffy S1, Episode Angel. And now that I think about it? Not sure why it didn't occur to me previously (unless it did and I forgot, which is possible). Killing Darla - may be why Angelus went nuts when he got rid of the soul. It may explain why he wanted to destroy the world, and more importantly destroy Buffy. He was pissed that he killed his love for Buffy.
It's never really addressed in Buffy, but it is here. Angel is haunted by Darla, even in Angel S1, he thinks about her.
The Send in the Clowns song (about two old lovers who've not seen each other in a long time, and can't quite get past each other, but couldn't ever quite connect) and Tears of the Clown (about the bone-crushing grief of losing someone you loved) - both allude to Darla, and Angel's grief regarding his loss of her, which was multiple times. As she lost him. Darla and Angel are probably more star-crossed than Buffy and Angel in some respects. Since they were soul mates without souls, and when he gained his again, she lost him forever. And when he lost his again, she was dust. Kind of a dark, weirdly clever, subversive take on the whole soul mates star crossed lovers bit. (It's why I prefer Angel/Darla to Angel/Buffy or Angel/Cordy - it's more clever, and twisted. So a lot more interesting from a story-thread, and thematic perspective.)
Also, David and Julie have amazing chemistry, and their relationship in many ways is more interesting than Buffy/Angel. It also parallels what they are doing on Buffy, since Darla sired Angel, and in their relationship, she was the one with the power and control, not Angelus. On Buffy, it's clear Buffy is the one in control not Riley. And Darla has a kind of mother role in regards to Angelus/Angel. Just as Cordy in a way is "mothering" poor Gunn in the episode, and advises him that she's taking him on as her project, that he's living his life dangerously, and she's going to get him out of it. (Outside of the fact that that doesn't date well, and has some ahem...politically incorrect vibes going on...it does parallel well to Buffy and Angel, also empowers Cordy.) Cordy has gone from the teen who screams at the sight of blood, and is annoyed someone bleed all over her sweater, to a woman using her sweater to blot up someone else's blood and struggling to save them. That's a 180 degree turn from the clueless mean girl Cordy was in Buffy S1.
Interesting episode, all things considered. Only quibble is sigh, Gunn.
He's annoyingly stereotypical, and kind of cringe. I've seen it done better elsewhere. I honestly don't think the writers knew what to do with the character?
**
On a final note?
My contacts came today. I was told they'd shipped on Friday. And they arrived today. That was fast. Considering they were ordered November 8.
How much you want to bet that they forgot to order them, and didn't do it until I reminded them to, this week?
Ah. As predicted the party in the lobby finally ended - and prior to 10 pm. The plus side of families with small children throwing a party - is it is never a late one.
Off to bed.
The apartment building Christmas Party - was not what I'd expected? Instead of a party for the complex celebrating the building's 100th birthday, it was more a gathering of a select group of people and their kids to visit with Santa, get gifts, sing songs with audio equipment, and have a pizza party with cupcakes, brownies, cookies and snacks.
Mother: What ethnicity?
Me: White people, Midwestern or Western transplants, thirty-somethings with small children, and two people from Asia who stood off from the rest, and looked like I did, out of place.
Mother: Really? No Blacks?
Me: Nope. At least not in the lobby. Not that there aren't Blacks in the building, there are, quite a few, but none at that party. No Russian Jews either, or Bengali, or anyone who wasn't white, under the age of 40, with little kids, with the exception of maybe three people including me. And I left after 45 minutes of feeling rather uncomfortably invisible. The party wasn't for me.
None of the people I knew, or had talked to - or connected with - were there.
See? This is why I'm not a fan of a lot of parties.
So, having been weirdly triggered food wise, I came back up and had left-over chili (I make a mean vegetarian gluten-free chili, if I say so myself), gluten free NY Cheesecake (small) with berries, and some pumpkin latte ice cream with nuts. Oatmilk eggnog with a touch of brandy to drink.
Then watched the rest of Otto Preminger's classic adaptation of Leon Uris' epic "Exodus" on Amazon Prime, starring Paul Newman, Eva Marie Saint, Sal Mineo, John Derek, Sir Ralph Richardson, and Lee J. Cob. I'd been watching it off and on most of the day.
(The book was actually better - I read it in high school, but the film has some excellent and understated performances in it, even if it shows it's age - it was done in 1960.) Not to be confused with the Moses Story, this is the story of the battle to create Israel in 1948, after WWII during the British occupation. Exodus does an excellent job of getting across the constant fighting and in-fighting with various factions over Israel. Also, the inherent prejudices involved. It really highlights the prejudices and stupid assumptions based on them. Paul Newman, who is Jewish, plays the romantic lead, and people can't tell he's Jewish, because he doesn't fit the stereotype. One of the main themes in the film - is how people aren't as different as they think, and our differences are all in our heads - and look at all the violence and misery that could be averted if we could just get over ourselves and our own ignorance? Timely that. It holds up now. I almost wish they'd remake it or reshow it? It starts off with the British being the bad guys, and slowly through the film it shows that the British were (albeit poorly) trying to maintain the peace between the Jewish People hunting a homeland and the Arabs who didn't want them there. Once the British leave (which neither group wanted there), the Arab leader basically decides to exterminate the interloping Jews. This film aired in 1960, and the film takes place in 1948. The book was written in the 1950s. And the Israel/Gaza conflict which is eerily similar is happening in 2025 more than 80 years later. Gives you pause, doesn't it?
I watched it - because I remembered it being one my favorite Paul Newman films. Also I've been listening to the Newman memoir on audible. Newman keeps stating in his book that he wasn't a great actor, he was just good enough, and it didn't set his world on fire or anything. He hadn't found his calling. And he is convinced he probably had a learning disability - because he struggled with reading his entire life, and struggled to memorize lines - as if he didn't quite do it properly or something, but he didn't quite know why or how. (Sounds like dyslexia to me? I struggled with memorizing lines too for similar reasons.) I read well now - but I had to work at it, and still do, I have all sorts of tricks that I apply, most of which I'm no longer aware of doing, and couldn't explain to anyone.
It's astonishing that he actually thinks this - because his acting seems effortless. He's effortlessly charming, charismatic, and pulls in the audience - even in a film like Exodus. He also didn't think of himself as attractive to women or anyone. He reminds me of my brother - who didn't see it either. Often the most attractive people are the ones who are the most oblivious to it.
***
I'm enjoying S2 Angel much more than expected. [Even though, David Boreanze is not as thin and hot as he was in Buffy S1-3.] Most likely assisted by the fact that I couldn't remember most of it - having not watched it since it aired or shortly thereafter? I thought I remembered it better than I had? But I totally forgot about Angel's Darla dreams, or how Darla was seducing Angel in his sleep. I also forgot about the scenes with Cordelia and Gunn bonding. They have some nifty platonic scenes between Cordelia/Gunn, and Cordelia/Wes - indicating that Cordelia most likely gets along better with men than women? Cordelia is growing on me, and I don't remember liking Cordy this much when I watched the series back in the day? (I think the difficulty was I came in and out of it, and like all the characters, she has her ups and downs.)
Finished watching First Impressions - which is the third episode of Angel S2. It establishes Lorne's club as another new set. We've moved from the Bar that Angel met Kate at in S1, to Lorne's Demon Bar. In this episode, Angel dreams of singing Send in the Clowns and Tears of the Clown, at Lorne's club - apparently he was going for a medley (which was thankfully off screen - since David Boreanze can't sing to save his life. And I'd rather he didn't butcher one of my favorite Sondheim songs.) Believe it or not, Tears of the Clown is actually a song by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles with a lyric like "there's sad things around but nothing sadder than the tears of a clown when there's no one around".
I'm thinking okay, where are we going with this? Is this a dream? It is - he's meeting Darla at Lorne's bar, and starts dating her, and having a relationship with her in his dreams.
This is a clever on multiple levels. Darla is the perfect femme fatale - and fits the noir verse perfectly, she's also a good counter point/foil to platonic Cordelia, brunette, and there's no sex, with blunt honesty. Add to that - Angel's defining moment wasn't sleeping with Buffy so much as it was killing Darla. He killed Darla to save Buffy, and prove himself to Buffy in Buffy S1, Episode Angel. And now that I think about it? Not sure why it didn't occur to me previously (unless it did and I forgot, which is possible). Killing Darla - may be why Angelus went nuts when he got rid of the soul. It may explain why he wanted to destroy the world, and more importantly destroy Buffy. He was pissed that he killed his love for Buffy.
It's never really addressed in Buffy, but it is here. Angel is haunted by Darla, even in Angel S1, he thinks about her.
The Send in the Clowns song (about two old lovers who've not seen each other in a long time, and can't quite get past each other, but couldn't ever quite connect) and Tears of the Clown (about the bone-crushing grief of losing someone you loved) - both allude to Darla, and Angel's grief regarding his loss of her, which was multiple times. As she lost him. Darla and Angel are probably more star-crossed than Buffy and Angel in some respects. Since they were soul mates without souls, and when he gained his again, she lost him forever. And when he lost his again, she was dust. Kind of a dark, weirdly clever, subversive take on the whole soul mates star crossed lovers bit. (It's why I prefer Angel/Darla to Angel/Buffy or Angel/Cordy - it's more clever, and twisted. So a lot more interesting from a story-thread, and thematic perspective.)
Also, David and Julie have amazing chemistry, and their relationship in many ways is more interesting than Buffy/Angel. It also parallels what they are doing on Buffy, since Darla sired Angel, and in their relationship, she was the one with the power and control, not Angelus. On Buffy, it's clear Buffy is the one in control not Riley. And Darla has a kind of mother role in regards to Angelus/Angel. Just as Cordy in a way is "mothering" poor Gunn in the episode, and advises him that she's taking him on as her project, that he's living his life dangerously, and she's going to get him out of it. (Outside of the fact that that doesn't date well, and has some ahem...politically incorrect vibes going on...it does parallel well to Buffy and Angel, also empowers Cordy.) Cordy has gone from the teen who screams at the sight of blood, and is annoyed someone bleed all over her sweater, to a woman using her sweater to blot up someone else's blood and struggling to save them. That's a 180 degree turn from the clueless mean girl Cordy was in Buffy S1.
Interesting episode, all things considered. Only quibble is sigh, Gunn.
He's annoyingly stereotypical, and kind of cringe. I've seen it done better elsewhere. I honestly don't think the writers knew what to do with the character?
**
On a final note?
My contacts came today. I was told they'd shipped on Friday. And they arrived today. That was fast. Considering they were ordered November 8.
How much you want to bet that they forgot to order them, and didn't do it until I reminded them to, this week?
Ah. As predicted the party in the lobby finally ended - and prior to 10 pm. The plus side of families with small children throwing a party - is it is never a late one.
Off to bed.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-07 05:02 pm (UTC)Watcher's Council seem to be mostly Brits, so I'm not surprised they treat the Other as disposable monster. I'm just glad we didn't have to see Spike killing Dru.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-07 10:31 pm (UTC)The British, French, Spanish and Portuguese had shipping fleets and great navies - so felt industrious enough to wander about invading folks.
Agreed on the Watcher's Council - it is interesting that it was made up of White British Men, with a few women here and there, isn't it? Slayers were often POC, the first one certainly was. But the Watcher Council slowly became mainly white British men, who were for the most part ineffectual?
Honestly neither Giles nor Wes could stake or kill a demon to save their lives, and both spend ninety percent of the time either been knocked out, or misinterpreting prophecies. I don't know what the writers were going for with this exactly? That white British men are useless? Whedon certainly had a low opinion of the Brits. (He'd spent time in the British educational system.)
Also, agree - I'm glad we didn't have Spike kill Dru. So too is Juliet Landau, who is hoping to pop up again in the series if it is successfully continued. I was annoyed that they kept killing Darla off. I liked Darla. Although, it didn't hurt Benz any - she got roles in other things.