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shadowkatIt was raining most of today - as it turns out, and cold. With a chill in the air. When it wasn't raining, it was misting.
1. I'm glad I'm not flying anywhere at the moment. Newark has had several plane collisions in the last few months, and on Sunday, Laguardia (LGA) in NY had a fatal plane collision with a Fire Truck. Air Canada and a Fire Truck collided.
LGA Air Canada and Fire Truck Collision.
I woke up this morning - turned on the news - and there it was as the lead story. It happened late Sunday night, they shut down the airport and evacuated the terminal - the news broadcasters told us that nothing was flying in or out of LGA until 2pm.
And if you were catching a flight before then - to contact your airline because it was probably cancelled and the airport was closed. This was at 6:30 am this morning.
"Air traffic control cleared the vehicle, then tried to stop it
The fire truck was being deployed to a United Airlines plane that had an aborted takeoff, Federal Aviation Administration head Brad Bedford said at a press conference at LaGuardia on Monday afternoon. The Air Canada plane was coming down the runway when the vehicles crashed at an intersection, Bedford said.
The collision crumpled the front of the passenger jet, tilting its nose upward and forcing passengers to evacuate through emergency exits. Photos from the scene show debris hanging from the exposed cockpit and scattered across the tarmac, as the damaged emergency vehicle lies on its side nearby."
Over 600 flights into or out of LaGuardia were cancelled on Monday, according to a tracker from FlightAware.
Many of those were operated by Delta Airlines, for which LaGuardia is a major hub. The airline said in a statement that it would automatically rebook affected passengers "to the next best itinerary."
Art History Major aka Busy Bee - is off to Florida on Wed. She's flying out Wed afternoon, working a half day remotely. Coming back on Sunday - I think. She says she's burned herself out and needs a break. So is treating herself to a trip to Florida. We were talking about the situation at the airport this morning, that's on top of the TSA problem. The TSA isn't being paid due to the government shut down - so they have a call out rate of 33% or more in the NYC area airports. As a result TSA (air port security lines) are between 5 and 9 hours long. People are getting to the airport anywhere between 5 to 10 hours early. The lines are going outside and down steps and around baggage claim.
The Doofus' solution? Add ICE to it. So now, we have a bunch of scared TSA and passengers - going through airport security. AHM is scared - and is trying to decide if she's the sort of person to be detained by ICE. I told her to try and keep a low profile, her boss made the valid point that this doesn't appear to matter. I said she didn't have an accent and seems harmless they'd probably ignore her. Her boss who has a thick Jamaican accent got offended. I'm like - look - I've been avoiding ICE so far, I don't know what to tell you - except they aren't at the airports to detain folks but to assist with TSA, so it might be fine? (mainly because I don't want to tempt fate - and have no clue how I'd react if I saw them? I'm furious that they exist at all, and even more furious that my tax payer dollars are paying their stinky salaries. The temptation to accidentally trip them and watch them fall on their keister is overwhelming. NYC has enough armed cops, we don't need more.)
God, how did we get here? We all agreed that we wanted the thing in the White House gone. And when it happens? We'll flood the streets, hold impromptu celebrations, dance in the street, kiss each other on the cheeks, and hold a big street party. We'll be united in glee. Another rendition of ...the classic 1941 ditty, When that Man is Dead and Gone - which is both tragically and ironically valid today
Mother, I, AHM's boss, and Breaking Bad have all decided we're not flying anywhere any time soon. I'm hoping this sorts itself out by at least May or June. But not holding my breath.
2. I'm frustrated with My Doctor's Office/Health Care Provider. So the PT wanted me to schedule an appointment with his buddy - the vestibular therapist on Tuesday, but alas my primary care gave me a referral to a therapist who can't see me until May and isn't the vestibular therapist the PT introduced me to and wanted me to see this week.
I went online, and after a lot of maneuvering in their site - managed to find the PT that I wanted.
So I asked if I could choose my own or switch to the other one. Primary Care agreed - and if they don't allow it, let her know and she'll send a new referral.
So I call the physical therapy scheduling office and after an hour on hold and, it doesn't exactly go well?
Healthcare Provider Scheduling Guy: You are looking for a Vascullar Therapist?
ME: No, a Vestibular Therapist.
Healthcare: Vasculliar -
Me: No Vestibular
Healthcare Provider: as in neurologist?
Me: Not exactly - or sort of? It's V-E-S-T-I-B-U-L-A-R.
Healthcare Provider: And who?
ME (I give doctor's name and spell it)
HP: What's your insurance again?
ME: (I tell him)
HP: He doesn't take it.
ME: But the portal said he did.
HP: Your insurance portal -
Me: No, your portal or my chart - that said he did
HP: Not according to what I'm seeing..yada...gibberish...and we have appointment with (previous guy) for May, and no earlier ones. Happy to help. Anything else I can help you with.
Me: No, I'm done for today.
[I'll got talk to the schedulers tomorrow in person. Maybe I'll get somewhere. Unlikely, I'm going in with low expectations? With Healthcare Providers - it's best to go in with low expectations - that way you don't get disappointed.]
See? This is the reason that I've done nothing about the vestibular/vertigo issue. By the time, I actually see the guy, the problem will be gone.
3. There's been a lot of "problematic" famous people dying lately? James Vander Beek, the guy who shall not be named - he was a political guy, and Nick Brendan. Of the three JVB was probably the least controversial and easiest to deal with - and considering he was against vaccines, and a Trump supporter, that's kind of saying something?
Nick Brendan portrayed a problematic character on Buffy (who I consider complicated and was actually quite likable towards the end of S3 and through S7 for the most part. Being a well-rounded and 3 dimensional character - he had plenty of flaws, but that made the character memorable. Also, beloved and relatable to many. Perfect characters or goody two shoe characters are not relatable or beloved. We tend to forget about them. Yes, he was a bit of a jerk in S1-3, but also an adorable goof-ball, and he saved Buffy's life three times). He was troubled and problematic man in life, far more so, actually than most of the characters he portrayed or at least the most familiar of them.
I stumbled upon Nick Brendan's last post on FB - where he takes questions from his devoted fans, and ....I felt for him, while at the same time, was horrified at what he'd become and what his fans, unwittingly enabled. There's a lesson for us all in there somewhere? Almost swallowed whole by his personal and private demons - the all too visible ravages of mental illness and various medical illness on his body and his mind. Fame had done him no favors - and he's right in a way, the Buffy fandom has become a kind of religion, fans (particularly those who don't believe in anything greater than themselves or humanity) have a tendency to worship people and people don't handle being worshipped well. It's toxic to the human soul and nowhere is it more visible than with Brendan.
I didn't go looking for it - I stumbed upon it. The internet logarithm has a way of throwing things at you - if you show a glancing interest in it. I'd share it -- but I'm thinking not. The man is dead. And why have people who cared for him on any level be exposed to the ugliness in his life? He was human and deeply flawed and a good five years younger than me, and I can't help but think there but for the grace of god, go I?
The internet scared me today - because I looked up what ailed him. It's "Cauda equina syndrome (CES)" which according to the Orthopedic Centers of Colorado is a rare, medical emergency involving severe compression of nerve roots at the base of the spine, requiring immediate decompression surgery—ideally within 24 hours—to prevent permanent paralysis, incontinence, and sexual dysfunction. Key symptoms include severe low back pain, saddle anesthesia (numbness in groin/buttocks), and sudden bowel/bladder dysfunction.
The internet loves to throw symptoms at you that you think you have and don't. Technology is turning me into a hypochondriac.
The Nick Brendan in FB video was over 400 pounds, his hands were inflated to the size of baseball mitts, his face was puffy, he was rambling and slurring his words, coughing, and chain smoking cigarettes. The only Buffy cast member he was still in contact with was Joss Whedon, who he exchanged emails with regularly. And he bore a great deal of resentment and ill will towards Gellar for how she quit Buffy, and how she was attempting to reboot it, and was happy it got cancelled. He was not happy. And I honestly hope he's at peace now - because I think his demons were eating him alive.
Fame will do that to you. As will the world. If you let it. This was a witty, smart, intelligent, and talented man - who got devoured by his own demons - addiction, fame, and others. It's hard to feel anything but sorrow. Did he hurt others, yes, but I think he also possibly hurt himself the most. He was unable to take responsibility for his actions - or from what I saw in the video, and that too aided in his destruction.
What I can learn from it? Fame isn't worth it. I'm grateful I didn't go down that road. Not that I'd have ended up like that. Not everyone does.
And it's important to take responsibility, to be held accountable for the things we do, and not try to justify, hand-wave, or excuse them. And that's often easier said than done. But it's not on me to judge him - on any of us really? We didn't know him. We only knew the characters he portrayed. The actor who portrayed them was always partly hidden behind the performance, how much of Xander was actually Brendan and how much as actually an interpretation of what appeared on the page? We'll never know. And even if we did know him or meet him - we would only know a snippet - a small portion, a sliver of the whole.
See that's the thing, we can't ever fully know another human being. What they are going through, how they feel, their hopes, their dreams, their anguish, their trauma, their disappointments, their pain - we've not inside them. Walking in their shoes. We don't have the same shoe size. All we can know are the snippets they show us - and even then, even then - it's a cloudy picture - blurred by our own lens, our own interpretations of it.
It's why I'm hesitant to judge, even though part of me wants to? Because I honestly don't know what I would have done in his shoes? And I don't know his demons. All I know are the snippets I've seen? And that, my friends, was so very little - because he was an actor, and I only saw him play two roles - Xander in Buffy, and a chef in the short lived Kitchen Confidential (which I have no real memory of), and a few Q&A's at cons, panel discussions, and a couple of Buffy cast reunions via youtube.
4. Stumbled upon this disturbing article about being a young professional screen actor and dealing with the toxicity of social media.
Barry Keoghan Says Online Abuse Means He
Doesn't Want to Go Outside Any More
"Oscar-nominated actor Barry Keoghan has said online abuse about his appearance is affecting his life, to the point that he now does “not want to go outside”.
The Irish actor, who is playing Ringo Starr in Sam Mendes’ upcoming Beatles tetralogy, told SiriusXM host Ben Harlum that though he left social media in 2024 due to online abuse, it was still so bad that he was “shying away” from the public eye – and it was making him want to retreat from acting.
Asked about his fans, Keoghan acknowledged that some “people are so lovely out there”, but added: “There’s also a nasty side of it. And I’ve removed myself from online, but I’m still a curious human being that wants to go on. And if I attend an event or if I go somewhere, you want to see how it was received. And it’s not nice, you know?”
[First off, whether or not I find the actor attractive is irrelevant - he's a captivating actor. One of the best of his generation. The better actors are more often than not - not the pretty ones. We're in a society that is far too obsessed with looks for its own good. Surface looks aren't that important in the long run - I've learned that much over the years.
I've seen the nastiness online. People really need to stop using social media as their personal verbal punching bags. I get the temptation. I've deleted so many posts prior to posting, and so many snarky sentences. We're breathing in the toxicity - the internet throws it at us, the news does, and it's in the air - and in all the folks stuck on their phones texting - to the point that they are oblivious to anything around them. I saw a woman in a yellow raincoat and a stop sign - the crossing guard, stop on the side walk to text going to work this morning, as a result she wasn't there to help us cross a busy street. And people stop on steps, blocking the path, texting, or text going up steps, or entering or leaving trains. I fondly remember a time when cell phones didn't exist. I don't use it while walking, and only look at my phone while sitting down. But honestly, we are too dependent on them now. And they are killing us bit by bit. My niece has the right idea - she goes camping and out in the woods, where there's no reception. I almost envy her. But I too, can ignore it. I use it for the Calm app, the diabetic sensor, and health/work. But I don't text that often, and I don't play on social media platforms on it that much. I find it noisy and the people on them...more often than not using it as a punching bag.]
1. I'm glad I'm not flying anywhere at the moment. Newark has had several plane collisions in the last few months, and on Sunday, Laguardia (LGA) in NY had a fatal plane collision with a Fire Truck. Air Canada and a Fire Truck collided.
LGA Air Canada and Fire Truck Collision.
I woke up this morning - turned on the news - and there it was as the lead story. It happened late Sunday night, they shut down the airport and evacuated the terminal - the news broadcasters told us that nothing was flying in or out of LGA until 2pm.
And if you were catching a flight before then - to contact your airline because it was probably cancelled and the airport was closed. This was at 6:30 am this morning.
"Air traffic control cleared the vehicle, then tried to stop it
The fire truck was being deployed to a United Airlines plane that had an aborted takeoff, Federal Aviation Administration head Brad Bedford said at a press conference at LaGuardia on Monday afternoon. The Air Canada plane was coming down the runway when the vehicles crashed at an intersection, Bedford said.
The collision crumpled the front of the passenger jet, tilting its nose upward and forcing passengers to evacuate through emergency exits. Photos from the scene show debris hanging from the exposed cockpit and scattered across the tarmac, as the damaged emergency vehicle lies on its side nearby."
Over 600 flights into or out of LaGuardia were cancelled on Monday, according to a tracker from FlightAware.
Many of those were operated by Delta Airlines, for which LaGuardia is a major hub. The airline said in a statement that it would automatically rebook affected passengers "to the next best itinerary."
Art History Major aka Busy Bee - is off to Florida on Wed. She's flying out Wed afternoon, working a half day remotely. Coming back on Sunday - I think. She says she's burned herself out and needs a break. So is treating herself to a trip to Florida. We were talking about the situation at the airport this morning, that's on top of the TSA problem. The TSA isn't being paid due to the government shut down - so they have a call out rate of 33% or more in the NYC area airports. As a result TSA (air port security lines) are between 5 and 9 hours long. People are getting to the airport anywhere between 5 to 10 hours early. The lines are going outside and down steps and around baggage claim.
The Doofus' solution? Add ICE to it. So now, we have a bunch of scared TSA and passengers - going through airport security. AHM is scared - and is trying to decide if she's the sort of person to be detained by ICE. I told her to try and keep a low profile, her boss made the valid point that this doesn't appear to matter. I said she didn't have an accent and seems harmless they'd probably ignore her. Her boss who has a thick Jamaican accent got offended. I'm like - look - I've been avoiding ICE so far, I don't know what to tell you - except they aren't at the airports to detain folks but to assist with TSA, so it might be fine? (mainly because I don't want to tempt fate - and have no clue how I'd react if I saw them? I'm furious that they exist at all, and even more furious that my tax payer dollars are paying their stinky salaries. The temptation to accidentally trip them and watch them fall on their keister is overwhelming. NYC has enough armed cops, we don't need more.)
God, how did we get here? We all agreed that we wanted the thing in the White House gone. And when it happens? We'll flood the streets, hold impromptu celebrations, dance in the street, kiss each other on the cheeks, and hold a big street party. We'll be united in glee. Another rendition of ...the classic 1941 ditty, When that Man is Dead and Gone - which is both tragically and ironically valid today
Mother, I, AHM's boss, and Breaking Bad have all decided we're not flying anywhere any time soon. I'm hoping this sorts itself out by at least May or June. But not holding my breath.
2. I'm frustrated with My Doctor's Office/Health Care Provider. So the PT wanted me to schedule an appointment with his buddy - the vestibular therapist on Tuesday, but alas my primary care gave me a referral to a therapist who can't see me until May and isn't the vestibular therapist the PT introduced me to and wanted me to see this week.
I went online, and after a lot of maneuvering in their site - managed to find the PT that I wanted.
So I asked if I could choose my own or switch to the other one. Primary Care agreed - and if they don't allow it, let her know and she'll send a new referral.
So I call the physical therapy scheduling office and after an hour on hold and, it doesn't exactly go well?
Healthcare Provider Scheduling Guy: You are looking for a Vascullar Therapist?
ME: No, a Vestibular Therapist.
Healthcare: Vasculliar -
Me: No Vestibular
Healthcare Provider: as in neurologist?
Me: Not exactly - or sort of? It's V-E-S-T-I-B-U-L-A-R.
Healthcare Provider: And who?
ME (I give doctor's name and spell it)
HP: What's your insurance again?
ME: (I tell him)
HP: He doesn't take it.
ME: But the portal said he did.
HP: Your insurance portal -
Me: No, your portal or my chart - that said he did
HP: Not according to what I'm seeing..yada...gibberish...and we have appointment with (previous guy) for May, and no earlier ones. Happy to help. Anything else I can help you with.
Me: No, I'm done for today.
[I'll got talk to the schedulers tomorrow in person. Maybe I'll get somewhere. Unlikely, I'm going in with low expectations? With Healthcare Providers - it's best to go in with low expectations - that way you don't get disappointed.]
See? This is the reason that I've done nothing about the vestibular/vertigo issue. By the time, I actually see the guy, the problem will be gone.
3. There's been a lot of "problematic" famous people dying lately? James Vander Beek, the guy who shall not be named - he was a political guy, and Nick Brendan. Of the three JVB was probably the least controversial and easiest to deal with - and considering he was against vaccines, and a Trump supporter, that's kind of saying something?
Nick Brendan portrayed a problematic character on Buffy (who I consider complicated and was actually quite likable towards the end of S3 and through S7 for the most part. Being a well-rounded and 3 dimensional character - he had plenty of flaws, but that made the character memorable. Also, beloved and relatable to many. Perfect characters or goody two shoe characters are not relatable or beloved. We tend to forget about them. Yes, he was a bit of a jerk in S1-3, but also an adorable goof-ball, and he saved Buffy's life three times). He was troubled and problematic man in life, far more so, actually than most of the characters he portrayed or at least the most familiar of them.
I stumbled upon Nick Brendan's last post on FB - where he takes questions from his devoted fans, and ....I felt for him, while at the same time, was horrified at what he'd become and what his fans, unwittingly enabled. There's a lesson for us all in there somewhere? Almost swallowed whole by his personal and private demons - the all too visible ravages of mental illness and various medical illness on his body and his mind. Fame had done him no favors - and he's right in a way, the Buffy fandom has become a kind of religion, fans (particularly those who don't believe in anything greater than themselves or humanity) have a tendency to worship people and people don't handle being worshipped well. It's toxic to the human soul and nowhere is it more visible than with Brendan.
I didn't go looking for it - I stumbed upon it. The internet logarithm has a way of throwing things at you - if you show a glancing interest in it. I'd share it -- but I'm thinking not. The man is dead. And why have people who cared for him on any level be exposed to the ugliness in his life? He was human and deeply flawed and a good five years younger than me, and I can't help but think there but for the grace of god, go I?
The internet scared me today - because I looked up what ailed him. It's "Cauda equina syndrome (CES)" which according to the Orthopedic Centers of Colorado is a rare, medical emergency involving severe compression of nerve roots at the base of the spine, requiring immediate decompression surgery—ideally within 24 hours—to prevent permanent paralysis, incontinence, and sexual dysfunction. Key symptoms include severe low back pain, saddle anesthesia (numbness in groin/buttocks), and sudden bowel/bladder dysfunction.
The internet loves to throw symptoms at you that you think you have and don't. Technology is turning me into a hypochondriac.
The Nick Brendan in FB video was over 400 pounds, his hands were inflated to the size of baseball mitts, his face was puffy, he was rambling and slurring his words, coughing, and chain smoking cigarettes. The only Buffy cast member he was still in contact with was Joss Whedon, who he exchanged emails with regularly. And he bore a great deal of resentment and ill will towards Gellar for how she quit Buffy, and how she was attempting to reboot it, and was happy it got cancelled. He was not happy. And I honestly hope he's at peace now - because I think his demons were eating him alive.
Fame will do that to you. As will the world. If you let it. This was a witty, smart, intelligent, and talented man - who got devoured by his own demons - addiction, fame, and others. It's hard to feel anything but sorrow. Did he hurt others, yes, but I think he also possibly hurt himself the most. He was unable to take responsibility for his actions - or from what I saw in the video, and that too aided in his destruction.
What I can learn from it? Fame isn't worth it. I'm grateful I didn't go down that road. Not that I'd have ended up like that. Not everyone does.
And it's important to take responsibility, to be held accountable for the things we do, and not try to justify, hand-wave, or excuse them. And that's often easier said than done. But it's not on me to judge him - on any of us really? We didn't know him. We only knew the characters he portrayed. The actor who portrayed them was always partly hidden behind the performance, how much of Xander was actually Brendan and how much as actually an interpretation of what appeared on the page? We'll never know. And even if we did know him or meet him - we would only know a snippet - a small portion, a sliver of the whole.
See that's the thing, we can't ever fully know another human being. What they are going through, how they feel, their hopes, their dreams, their anguish, their trauma, their disappointments, their pain - we've not inside them. Walking in their shoes. We don't have the same shoe size. All we can know are the snippets they show us - and even then, even then - it's a cloudy picture - blurred by our own lens, our own interpretations of it.
It's why I'm hesitant to judge, even though part of me wants to? Because I honestly don't know what I would have done in his shoes? And I don't know his demons. All I know are the snippets I've seen? And that, my friends, was so very little - because he was an actor, and I only saw him play two roles - Xander in Buffy, and a chef in the short lived Kitchen Confidential (which I have no real memory of), and a few Q&A's at cons, panel discussions, and a couple of Buffy cast reunions via youtube.
4. Stumbled upon this disturbing article about being a young professional screen actor and dealing with the toxicity of social media.
Barry Keoghan Says Online Abuse Means He
Doesn't Want to Go Outside Any More
"Oscar-nominated actor Barry Keoghan has said online abuse about his appearance is affecting his life, to the point that he now does “not want to go outside”.
The Irish actor, who is playing Ringo Starr in Sam Mendes’ upcoming Beatles tetralogy, told SiriusXM host Ben Harlum that though he left social media in 2024 due to online abuse, it was still so bad that he was “shying away” from the public eye – and it was making him want to retreat from acting.
Asked about his fans, Keoghan acknowledged that some “people are so lovely out there”, but added: “There’s also a nasty side of it. And I’ve removed myself from online, but I’m still a curious human being that wants to go on. And if I attend an event or if I go somewhere, you want to see how it was received. And it’s not nice, you know?”
[First off, whether or not I find the actor attractive is irrelevant - he's a captivating actor. One of the best of his generation. The better actors are more often than not - not the pretty ones. We're in a society that is far too obsessed with looks for its own good. Surface looks aren't that important in the long run - I've learned that much over the years.
I've seen the nastiness online. People really need to stop using social media as their personal verbal punching bags. I get the temptation. I've deleted so many posts prior to posting, and so many snarky sentences. We're breathing in the toxicity - the internet throws it at us, the news does, and it's in the air - and in all the folks stuck on their phones texting - to the point that they are oblivious to anything around them. I saw a woman in a yellow raincoat and a stop sign - the crossing guard, stop on the side walk to text going to work this morning, as a result she wasn't there to help us cross a busy street. And people stop on steps, blocking the path, texting, or text going up steps, or entering or leaving trains. I fondly remember a time when cell phones didn't exist. I don't use it while walking, and only look at my phone while sitting down. But honestly, we are too dependent on them now. And they are killing us bit by bit. My niece has the right idea - she goes camping and out in the woods, where there's no reception. I almost envy her. But I too, can ignore it. I use it for the Calm app, the diabetic sensor, and health/work. But I don't text that often, and I don't play on social media platforms on it that much. I find it noisy and the people on them...more often than not using it as a punching bag.]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-24 09:40 am (UTC)That is really sad about Nicolas Brendon.
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Date: 2026-03-24 12:43 pm (UTC)