Ah...how to deal with this??

[shadowkat]

As many of you know - if you've read my lj for the last five or six months, I am gluten-sensitive. This means I cannot eat anything with gluten in it. Gluten = wheat, barely, oats, kamut, spelt, and millet. Also be careful of buckwheat (cross-contamination), oats is controversial.

Here's the problem...I'm considering doing a couple of things that involve lots of activities around food and with people who love to eat foods high in glutens: BBQ sauce, pancakes, pizza, cakes, cookies, brownies, most creative chocolates/candybars, pies, bread, sandwiches, bagels, muffins, smores, beer, some wines (not all, most are fine - particularly California wines are fine), crackers...and some ice creams. Both trips will be in environments where my choices are going to be limited. They group decides. Money is a factor. And one takes place at a conference in a Holiday Inn.

I don't know what to do? Do I bring food with me? I don't want to be an inconvenience or put people out. This has been my fear from the beginning. I *hate* being a bother or a pest. I *hate* being noticed. I'm the sort who goes along with what the group wants to eat - yay democracy. This diet makes that impossible. I will get sick.

Help???

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

@>)

Ah--I didn't realize caffeine was also an issue. Assuming I can come to Tahoe, I'll be bringing a variety of chocolate bars, incl. some milk chocolate bars, which have a lower percentage of cocoa solids (52% & 37% on the ones I just checked). I hope those would be OK for you. One of them is made on equipment also used for products that contain wheat--are trace amounts a problem for you?

Gotta say I don't get the "toaster" suggestion from the meetup board at all. Besides, we're gonna have kitchens, & there are probably already toasters or toaster ovens there...are some people so sensitive to gluten they can't eat gluten-free bread toasted in the same toaster used for wheat bread? I was thinking someone in a less locally based group might live in or near Tahoe or go there often on vacation & know where in the Tahoe area you can find gluten-free products in stores or restaurants where the management/staff are aware of the gluten problem. Either way, the "gluten-free travel kit" sounds like a great idea, whether it's your main source of food or supplemental.

The "tyranny of the majority" bit was meant as a joke, off your "yay democracy" comment. It referred to the food-conformity issue, not whether anyone was forcing you to come. And by the way, at least some of us are asking you to come! I don't know of anyone who doesn't want you to be there. I don't think anyone thinks you'd be imposing yourself on the group, & I don't understand why you think any of us would feel guilty. If I can presume to speak for the group, we don't want to impose on you or for you to feel guilty. We want to be considerate of your needs. I think you overestimate how much this bothers other people, esp. your friends. And it doesn't seem to cut both ways for you--you're the one who suggested a couple of years ago that we have my birthday get-together at a vegetarian restaurant, even after I said I didn't want to restrict other people's choices!

Speaking of which, my own experience both as a vegetarian & as a religious Jew puts me in the position of having to ask for accommodations from others fairly often, like having a meet on Sunday instead of Saturday, or taking time to ask questions about ingredients at a restaurant. I'm not always comfortable about this myself, but I've found ATPo one of the most considerate groups I know when it comes to acceptance & accommodation of these limitations, even though in my case they're a matter of choice & not necessity.

As for being self-sufficient like Buffy & Angel, remember, both of them needed to learn to rely on others as well as on themselves. And Angel had some pretty severe dietary restrictions himself...but his friends never gave him a hard time about it.