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[personal profile] shadowkat
It's been a quiet weekend - won't bore with details. Did a little of this and a little of that. Weather is being wonky. 60 degrees at noon yesterday, then proceeded to drop to 48. Today it's 37 degrees and flirting with snow. I don't know about any one else, but I'm beginning to think Mother Nature is irritated with the human race and playing games.

On my flist today two people mention the word "weird" in their posts. The first asks why does everyone mention that they are "weird" in their lj's and if they are, how, exactly? The other sort of answers the question, in an unrelated post, in fact I'm not even sure if the two are aware of one another (which is part of the fun of reading lj), but anyhow, they state in detail how their brain is weird. It's not. By the way. A lot of people I know think that way.

I think we use it as a means of apologizing for what we believe are our little quirks and idiosyncrasies. A way to protect oneself from unwanted criticism. The world let's face it can be brutal. One needs a few little words to throw out there to protect oneself from the onslaught.

How am I weird? I don't really have any wall hangings or photos or pictures on the walls of my apartment, outside of two posters hung in my bedroom. Don't know why really. Haven't found anything I want to hang on them. Or anything I wanted to spend money on in order to hang on them. How does this make me weird? Well, everyone else I've met in my life, outside of possibly my brother, hangs photos and pictures on walls like crazy. So I state I'm weird when I feel that I'm walking against the crowd, outside the window looking in, misunderstood, or just not quite fitting in - which is how others have "used" the word in relation to me.
Other ways in which I'm weird: My memory seems to be different. I can't remember multiplication tables, recite poetry from memory, or dialogue, or song lyrics. But I can tell you exactly what happened in King Lear, the motivations of the characters, describe the presentation I saw, the costumes, the set design, and staging. I won't be able to quote Buffy dialogue, but I can tell you the story in detail, why what happened did, what every characters motivations were, what they looked like, who played which role, the process behind the filming of it, but don't ask me to remember the names of the people in the credits.
If I interact with the material - I remember it. If I don't, I won't remember it. It's as simple as that. Some people seem to remember things the way a parrot does - they hear it once and never forget it. I only remember it if I really interact with the information, make it my own. Is this weird though? No, I've met quite a few people who seem to think the same way.
It depends on the company I keep I guess. Just like loving Buffy the Vampire Slayer is considered "weird" in one group but the norm in another. Or being a Trekkie may be weird in your home town, but isn't at a Trekkie Convention.

I'm weird about memes...I don't do most of them because I have no clue how to answer most of the questions posed. For example the book meme going around - there's only one question on that meme I can answer - okay maybe three. They are: 1) Have you ever fallen in love with a literary character? If so which ones? (2) What book are you reading now? 3) What was the last book you read? -But which books you'd want on a Desert Island or which book would you want to be in Farenheit 451? That I'm not sure I can answer - it would require limiting it to just one or five. And I'm moody when it comes to books, music, movies, and tv. Not to mention fickle. In short it depends on which day of the week, month, year you ask. But please don't hold me to my choice.

The answers?

1. Yes, I've fallen in love with literary characters. Too many to count. The one's who come to mind right now? Harry Dresden, Lymond, Sir John Smythe, Robin Hood, Hamlet, Frodo, ... How can one not fall in love with a literary character? It's one of the things I adore most about books and to be honest, the books I've loved the most are the ones that contained characters that I fell in love with. Did you know it is considered emotionally healthy to fall in love with a literary or fictional character? That it sends endorphins to the brain, makes one happy? Also falling in love with a character often will make the worste written book feel like a masterpiece, proving once and for all that say what you will about the importance of style, theme, etc - what makes a book succeed for a reader is the characters.

2. Current book? Tam Lin by Pamela Dean. Not loving it. But curious about why it is considered a cult fantasy novel, so sticking in there. Weird book or maybe it's just me? - It is written in a passive voice, first person - third removed. Most of the action is "summarized" and we don't actually see any of it, so much as hear about it after the fact or through innuendo.

3. Last book? Can't remember...I think it was Lamb. I tried Shadow of the Wind, got bored, and gave up on it. So sort of took a break from fiction and was mainly reading magazines.
Such as the New Yorker, Atlantic Monthly, and Harpers.

TV...weird here too. I like a broad assortment. These are the one's currently on the air.

Sci-fi:
1. Dresden Files
2. BSG
3. Heroes
4. Lost
5. The 4400

Serialized Drama:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. Friday Night Lights
3. Veronica Mars
4. Gilmore Girls
5. Nip/Tuck
6. General Hospital
7. Brothers and Sisters
8. The L Word (except for this season which just does not appeal to me)
9. Weeds

Dramedy
1. Ugly Betty
2. Desperate Housewives
3. Boston Legal

Procedural
1. House
2. The Closer
3. The Dead Zone (on occassion) and Bones (on occassion)

Situation Comedy
1. 30 Rock
2. The Office
3. How I Met Your Mother (on occassion) and The Class (on occassion)

Reality Shows:
1. Project Runway
2. Top Chef (on occassion)
(will watch American Idol occassionally, but not frequently, since I find watching people sing incredibly boring. Watching people play music does very little for me. Love to listen to it, but just watching someone sit on stage and sing or play? Not so much. Musicals or music videos are different, because usually they aren't just standing there singing - they are acting or dancing at the same time - which is not only interesting it's far more difficult in my opinion.)

See weird eclectic tasts. Go figure. ;-)

Date: 2007-03-04 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frenchani.livejournal.com
I fall in love with literary characters ALL THE TIME !!!!

It's falling in love with a celeb that I don't quite understand...

Date: 2007-03-05 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowkat67.livejournal.com
LOL!

It's actually not that different. The process that is. Only one problem - the fictional view of the celebrity can be broken very easily. While not so much with a character. People never live up to how we picture them in our heads, I think. They disappoint us. Turn out to be different in some way. Since we don't know them, all we know is what they throw up there on the screen. Even their real height, weight, age, eye color and hair color can be a mystery. James Marsters is a perfect example.

I fell in love with Spike but not Marsters. The character interested me and still does. Marsters - I appreciate as an actor, but I don't know him and I'm well aware that what I see of him is nothing more or less than a well-rehearsed performance. The man is a consummate actor. Brilliant. Which means we will never know him. His accent, hair color, height, and age for a while were all lies= some people did not know until sometime around season 5 that the guy hailed from California, was almost 40, not 32, 5'6 or 5'8 not 6 foot, and had brown hair.

We knew more about Spike.

But either is healthy within moderation. But stalking the guy and sending him or his character love letters....not healthy.;-)

Date: 2007-03-05 10:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frenchani.livejournal.com
I think there's a big diffrence though. A fictional character is real (I know it sounds very paradoxical)whereas a Celeb is just an image we have. They aren't real people to us, only a fantasy, very far away. We don't know what happens in their everyday life and we don't their intimacy and above all we don't know what is in their mind.

Some fans get nuts and believe they know but actually they don't. As much as they reveal about themselves, they remain strangers.

I think I fall in love with literary characters, especially characters in books, because I know what's going on in their mind. I share their emotions and everything that make them true in a book and therefore real to me.

I understand having fantasies because someone famous is hot and charming (like me drooling over Hugh Jackman!)but falling in love? How can anyone become attached to someone they don't know?

Date: 2007-03-06 01:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowkat67.livejournal.com
I agree. But I'm not sure I was clear in the post above.

What I meant to say was the "emotions" or "process" is similar in that in each case, you feel greatly for someone or something that you are not actually interacting with. You are watching them, reading about them, listening to them - but they do not know you exist. They do not see you. You have never really *interacted* with them. If you've gotten their signature, or talked to them - you still don't know them - you know the persona they are showing you in that venue. You know more about them than they know about you and you have internalized a great deal of that information, translated it. Which is why there are so many different impressions of celebrities and fictional characters. Everyone picks up from the interviews, stories, etc - what appeals to them and ignores the rest. This isn't all that different than love at first sight or romantic love - when you've only just met the person and fallen for them.

The lovely thing about it - is that you probably won't meet the person, if it's a character - you never will - so you do not have to worry about your mental picture of that person or character being dashed on the rocks of reality. It's a vicarious sort of love, I think. A mental or cereberal one.
One of fantasy and imagination. Which is healthy - as long as it isn't taken to extreems - because it can inspire one to do things like paint, write, create. If that makes sense.




Date: 2007-03-04 11:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] petzipellepingo.livejournal.com
How can one not fall in love with a literary character? It's one of the things I adore most about books and to be honest, the books I've loved the most are the ones that contained characters that I fell in love with. Did you know it is considered emotionally healthy to fall in love with a literary or fictional character? That it sends endorphins to the brain, makes one happy?
Well I wouldn't say that I fall in "love" with a fictional character but I would definitely say that I fall in "like" with many of them. And going back and re-reading a favorite book does give me a warm happy feeling every time.

Date: 2007-03-05 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowkat67.livejournal.com
Ignore that last reply, screwed up. ;-)

How would you describe your feelings for the characters in Buffy the Vampire Slayers? Like or love?

I ask because more than one person on my flist who I know for a fact was *obsessed* with characters on Buffy, to the point they read fanfic, wrote fanfic, and posted on them, states they don't fall in love with literary characters. So I'm wondering if we are defining love differently here?

Date: 2007-03-05 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] petzipellepingo.livejournal.com
Very strong "like", not love because I reserve love for animate objects. I love family, friends and pets but not fictional anythings.
I can indentify with them, feel sad or happy for them depending on the situation but I always recognize that they "aren't real".

Date: 2007-03-05 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowkat67.livejournal.com
You're defining "love" very narrowly then. ;-) And also assuming those who do fall in love with a character thinks they are real, which isn't necessarily the case.

I certainly don't.

I fall in love with the traits and personality of the character. I do not fall in love with them in the sense that I want to "live" with them or in the literal sense.

But then I define love far more broadly. For example - I love lj.
I love tv. I love cats. I love sunsets. I love books.

Date: 2007-03-05 01:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] embers-log.livejournal.com
"That it sends endorphins to the brain"
I fall in love with characters all the time, and I think I define it like you, with that whole endorphins that make me happy thing....

I was madly in love with Lord Peter Wimsey, I even made a point to visit his college at Oxford (not Dorothy L. Sayer's college... only his!) when I was visiting in England. Actually I visited Shrewsbury too, so I could walk where the Monk Cadfael never actually walked because he was fictional, but I adored him. I think that is love: when I need to stalk characters who never actually lived in the real world! LOL

And you're right, there is something so wonderfully satisfying about the character as opposed to the actor, no matter when I pick up a favorite again I find the character there: unchanged, untouched by time, and just as lovable as ever.

Date: 2007-03-06 01:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowkat67.livejournal.com
I wanted to thank you for sending me a birthday gift. Bit speechless, frankly - I came home and was astonished to find a large manila envelope sitting in the foyer stating Happy Birthday across the front. I haven't opened it yet, since I'd like to open it on the 9th. But it did come and no matter what is inside, I want you to know how happy it made me to see it. Just the fact you took the time to send it - really touched me. Thank you.

And... I don't know if I've ever said this but Thank you, embers for being there this year.. You have been a true friend to me in more ways than one. And I want you to know how much your friendship has meant to me. Your responses to my posts, encouragement, and kindness has more than once brought a smile to my face and happy tears to my eyes. You were one of the angels who helped get through my personal hell last year and I really want to thank you for that.

Anyhow...I want you to know that you helped make a week that I entered somewhat grumpily and with reservations, turn out to be a cheery surprise. The words -Thank you just don't seem strong enough.

Date: 2007-03-06 02:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] embers-log.livejournal.com
It is just something small that I hope you'll enjoy. Surprises are always fun, particularly around birthdays!

I'm glad I've been a friend: I always worry that sounding too encouraging can just be annoying. When people are going through really difficult times it is a tightrope walk between actually cheering them up and just reminding them of how bad they feel. I was confident you would make it through, but it is a lonely road when you are living alone and facing problems on your own.

I hope you have some really fun celebrations planned for Friday!

Date: 2007-03-06 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowkat67.livejournal.com
Thank you. It's going to be pretty low-key. Most of my friends are too far away or too busy to really bring together in a celebration at the moment - and well, I don't really want to do it right now. So, just doing dinner and a movie with my pal Wales on Friday, and spending a couple of hours at a local spa on Sat getting a facial and foot massage. Low key. ;-)

And you hit the right balance. But mostly it was the distraction - talking online about things un-job related, taking my mind off of it for a bit. That and well, feeling less alone.

Endorphins

Date: 2007-03-06 01:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowkat67.livejournal.com
Yes. That's it. Exactly.

There are characters in books that I've loved and revisit. Again and again.
In tv shows too. I fell in love with the characters of Buffy, almost all of them. If I hadn't, I certainly would not have felt the need to write about them. And I adored Lymond - so much, that I don't think I need to re-read the books, since I more or less inhaled the words upon the first readin. Although have re-read sections.

Reality? What is it anyhow? What we perceive? What others perceive?
And yes there are limits - when love becomes overly obsessive, that's bad. But love in of itself is a healthy thing, I think.

Re: Endorphins

Date: 2007-03-06 02:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] embers-log.livejournal.com
"Reality? What is it anyhow? What we perceive? What others perceive?
That is always the question, and no less so when it comes to love. We fall in love with an overwhelming wave of emotional response, to what? After my divorce I had some serious doubts if he had ever had those qualities that I supposedly loved him for. So was I just fooling myself from the beginning?
At least when I love a book, TV show or movie I find it holds up over time, and it doesn't walk out on me with self-serving excuses. Not to get all maudlin here... LOL

Re: Endorphins

Date: 2007-03-06 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shadowkat67.livejournal.com
Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking.

When people first fall in love - do they fall in love with the person in front of them or what they perceive that person to be? It's one of the reasons I don't trust/don't believe in love at first sight. You don't know the person - it's all physical in a way. Buffy's love for Angel felt very unreal to me on the show - she did not know him, he held himself at a distance from her, told her little about his past or his present. So all she really saw was a shadowy image. I know, I know - should use a different example than Buffy. Take "Romeo and Juliet" - two teens who fall passionately in love or *romantic* love - the tragedy of the story is not so much that they died for love, but they didn't live long enough to realize that what they felt was momentary, it would not last. That is was a mirage.
They didn't get a chance to get to know each other. To spend enough time with one another to *fall* in love for real. It's why teen love seldom lasts, or "romantic love". While adult love, which is much calmer does last.
I've seen both. Experienced both. And have to say, I prefer the latter.
To love we must first trust the other person.

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