![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatLJ post that made me happy:
Perhaps the most amazing ceramic vase I've seen...so different, so warm, and so unique.
http://embers-log.livejournal.com/205956.html?view=1342596&style=mine#t1342596
There was also a great link to a salon article comparing Buffy to Twilight, and explaining in fantastic detail why I stopped reading romance novels and find the Twilight stories offensive.
It also explains why Harry Potter and Buffy were cult icons and phenomenas, appealing to men and women of all ages and screeds, while Twilight appeals to select or at least I hope it is, group. (And makes me wonder about my own gender.) Twilight makes Charlian Harris' novels feel well like Shakespeare or Jane Austen in comparison, and I'm not that fond of Harris' writing, although, I'm wildly tempted to subscribe to HBO just to see Alan Ball's adaptation of Harris' vampire mysteries into the tv show True Blood. From what I've seen of the trailers? True Blood looks really good, with a definite Buffy meets the Kindred (an old vampire tv show), sort of feel to it.
here: http://www.salon.com/books/review/2008/07/30/Twilight/
Difficult week. Been depressed and frustrated and irritated during most of it. All bad moody.
There's all these things I want and want to do, yet feel as if they are impossible to reach.
Need to focus on what I do have and work on keeping hold of those things - my job, my home, my physical/mental health, and my financial stability - which aren't things a lot of people have right now and I've worked really really hard the last few years to obtain or continue to hold onto.
Two people died this week...didn't know either well, but feel sad about both. One was a kind man at work suffering from lung cancer, a battle he finally lost. (He wasn't that old, maybe in his late 50s.) The other the father of one of the people on my correspondence list. My heart goes out to their families, and I pray neither was in any pain. I hope they died in their sleep, that I think would be the best way to go. This makes me realize, whether I like it or not, each day is to a degree a gift, filled with mixed blessings and curses, to do with what we will. Gives me hope thinking that. Tomorrow, when it comes, will always be different in some way. And all of this? Temporary.
Perhaps the most amazing ceramic vase I've seen...so different, so warm, and so unique.
http://embers-log.livejournal.com/205956.html?view=1342596&style=mine#t1342596
There was also a great link to a salon article comparing Buffy to Twilight, and explaining in fantastic detail why I stopped reading romance novels and find the Twilight stories offensive.
It also explains why Harry Potter and Buffy were cult icons and phenomenas, appealing to men and women of all ages and screeds, while Twilight appeals to select or at least I hope it is, group. (And makes me wonder about my own gender.) Twilight makes Charlian Harris' novels feel well like Shakespeare or Jane Austen in comparison, and I'm not that fond of Harris' writing, although, I'm wildly tempted to subscribe to HBO just to see Alan Ball's adaptation of Harris' vampire mysteries into the tv show True Blood. From what I've seen of the trailers? True Blood looks really good, with a definite Buffy meets the Kindred (an old vampire tv show), sort of feel to it.
here: http://www.salon.com/books/review/2008/07/30/Twilight/
Difficult week. Been depressed and frustrated and irritated during most of it. All bad moody.
There's all these things I want and want to do, yet feel as if they are impossible to reach.
Need to focus on what I do have and work on keeping hold of those things - my job, my home, my physical/mental health, and my financial stability - which aren't things a lot of people have right now and I've worked really really hard the last few years to obtain or continue to hold onto.
Two people died this week...didn't know either well, but feel sad about both. One was a kind man at work suffering from lung cancer, a battle he finally lost. (He wasn't that old, maybe in his late 50s.) The other the father of one of the people on my correspondence list. My heart goes out to their families, and I pray neither was in any pain. I hope they died in their sleep, that I think would be the best way to go. This makes me realize, whether I like it or not, each day is to a degree a gift, filled with mixed blessings and curses, to do with what we will. Gives me hope thinking that. Tomorrow, when it comes, will always be different in some way. And all of this? Temporary.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 02:59 am (UTC)One of my offline acquaintances, who is recently divorced, is killing herself hunting a guy. She loved being married. Having a partner. Even though he dumped her and took up with someone else. Even though he made her life difficult. She misses the compagnionship.
So, she keeps dating these guys who don't quite click and whines about them endlessly.
The sex sucks. Or he's too xenophobic. Or he doesn't like to travel. Or he makes her pay for everything...
Then I look at my parents and brother's relationships, which from a distance look almost perfect, close up, I see the countless compromises that everyone must make. Because when you are in a relationship = particularly when you are living with someone else, you have to give up some of the junk you want. And everything can feel at times like a debate or a bargain. It's not like a romance novel or a movie, where they ride happily off in the sunset, it's actually more like a daytime soap opera, where the romance and the sex after awhile get dull and frustrating.
A male friend, not a boyfriend since we never really dated, once told me that for it to really work - you need to find someone who clicks with you emotionally, intellectually, and physically. He said it was almost impossible. He'd found two of the three, but not all three. Intellectual and Physical - he told me is a nightmare. Intellectual and Emotional - makes for a great friendship, but little else. He married the woman who fit him emotionally and physically.
For me? I love the line in Mamma Mia, where the protagonist, Donna, states, "Men? Far too much work, too tiring, and the plumbing..just don't feel like worrying about it right now."
I don't want to cater to anyone right now, worry what they thought of me, worry how they felt, worry how I looked, worry about well the whole kit and kaboodle...just thinking about it, makes me tired.
no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 03:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 03:31 am (UTC)Yeah, one of the best marriages I ever knew (with the least complaining and resentment, because nearly every marriage I have ever known had those in abundance) was one where the spouses had a theory: if the marriage is actually going to work then BOTH partners have to feel that they are giving 75% and barely getting 50% in return, and are happy to accept that. But in my marriage my ex didn't give me squat, and I was really resentful of giving him much in return (finally he left me and I felt like I'd been let out of jail).
no subject
Date: 2008-08-03 03:24 pm (UTC)I've discovered that relationships in which one person is more into or invested in the relationship than the other - usually fall apart, because sooner or later the person giving all the gifts, doing all the stroking, and bending over backgrounds is going to get worn out and wonder what the point is? What am I getting out of this, besides feeling like a matry or saint? And the person who isn't giving 75% or even 50%, is feeling guilty and annoyed. At first, they may be loving the attention, but after a while...
I've been on both sides of the equation - the side that was "giving too much" and the side that "was giving too little" - and neither are fun. In both cases, you end up resenting the other person and hating yourself. Unless of course you are completely unselfaware or narcissitic or some-over psychological disorder - and so are getting off on the imbalance in some way. (Most dysfunctional relationships are usually due to the imbalance.)
And let's face it, we humans are selfish creatures - we always on some level, consciously or unconsciously, want to know what's in it for ourselves, how this benefits us, how it furthers our path, or makes us feel good about oursevles...and in order to feel good about oursevles, we are in complete denial about wanting all of the above.