Bad sex scenes and other ramblings.
Nov. 17th, 2008 06:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatNot sure what to write in this thing tonight. Will most likely write whatever pops into my head, regardless of whether or not it is readable. Whether I post it or not, is another issue entirely. You'll know if you see it.
Television.
Watched a lot of it this weekend. Because - I was sick and didn't want to do all that much. I did try to read a bit. Read the new Dresden comic - which is a graphic novel adaptation of Storm Front. The art is decent, even if all the people look a bit alike. As I've noted before, I'm picky when it comes to comic art and tend to pay an undue amount of attention to how well people are rendered. Possibly because I've drawn a lot of people and was quite good at it for a while. Out of practice now, unfortunately. Spending my time on rendering characters through words not through the drawing. Different process and in my point of view far more challenging and rewarding. Drawing is too...two-dimensional and not quite as challenging as writing in my opinion. That's not true for everyone of course and does not mean I do not appreciate good drawings or art, I do, I'm just picky. The other book I tried to read and am getting very close to giving up on is Cookie Cutter. Yes, I know I've mentioned it before in my journal and yes, I've only been trying to read the dang thing for two months. The fact that it is only 327 pages - probably means that I should give up and try something, anything else. But I promised Wales I'd give it to her once I finished it. (She can't find it anywhere - not at a bookstore, online or at the library. It is out-of-print. I apparently am the only person with a copy of the thing. Lucky me.)
Regarding why it is out of print? Well, the writing is not that good. It has the worst sex scenes I've read in my entire life. Considering how much fanfic I've read online, that is saying something. I read one of them aloud to Wales and she burst out laughing. Want to read it? Here you go. Don't say I didn't warn you. (Oh unlike my evil fanfic, this writer is not intending on squicking the reader.)
"That's a leading question," Cliff whispered into her ear. "And let me show you what it's leading to."
Since he was at her ear already, he started there. He sucked the lobe a few seconds. His tongue traced the rim, then the crevices. Mary slid down to where the couch provided neck support, and offering her neck to her Dracula. He took nipping bites along its entire length, like her neck was a buttered ear of corn. And she squirmed and arched and gyrated some more.
Her eyes were shut and her head was turned from him, so she patted around until she found him. But he removed her hand by grabbing her wrist. Then he grabbed the other one, locking her into a position of arms raised and separated. With her thus restrained, he raised himself a little to kis her, but she playfully made her mouth a moving target by turning her head away. He caught her anyway, clamping his mouth on hers, trying to insert his tongue past her pursed lips. Throughout, she jerked her wrists against his hold. And when her resistence had worked its magic, had ratcheted her excitement to unbearbable, she yeilded into a cavernous kiss and a boa's embrace.
Cliff released her wrists and trailed his hands along her thighs. Her shorts were large enough for his hand to shoot up to her panties. And when he pressed his hand dead center, her secretions had already soaked through. "Wait a second, honey," she said, then performed the feat of removing shorts and panties while remaining seated. Next she shamelessly opened her legs as far as her hip sockets would allow.
Cliff put his fingers back to work, strumming, parting, polishing, pulling, inserting. And he went back to speaking into her ear.
That's just a taste. There were worse ones. This is more ahem PG-rated.
Sigh. When writing a sex scene, you might not want to use buttered ear of corn as a metaphor or analogy. You also probably don't want to go into so much clinical detail. Leave enough to the imagination. We don't need the words cavernous and boa. Nor do we need secretions. Or hip sockets. OR polished? Polished? Come on. Where is a good editor when you need one? Do people even edit books any more??
Writing sex scenes is hard. If you can't do it? Fade to black fast. About 85% of the books published don't have sex scenes. It's not a requirement. Better to not do it at all then do it badly. Also, just because you've had a lot of sex - does not mean you can write a good sex scene. Actually people who have had no sex or very little often write better sex scenes than those who have had a lot of it. This is one area in which a little goes a long way. Trust the reader - less is more.
Haruki Marukami (whose name I can't spell) - writes amazing sex scenes. So it's not a male/female thing.
Okay off to make dinner before it gets too late and comfort myself with the tv show Brothers and Sisters.It reminds me of Thirtysomething but a lot less whiny, which I also found comforting. Whiny family shows sometimes comfort me, weird I know.
Hmm...meant to write about tv shows in this post but ran out time. As an aside, loving the Masterpiece theater minseries Cranford - really comforting and quite good. Not at all what I expected.
Television.
Watched a lot of it this weekend. Because - I was sick and didn't want to do all that much. I did try to read a bit. Read the new Dresden comic - which is a graphic novel adaptation of Storm Front. The art is decent, even if all the people look a bit alike. As I've noted before, I'm picky when it comes to comic art and tend to pay an undue amount of attention to how well people are rendered. Possibly because I've drawn a lot of people and was quite good at it for a while. Out of practice now, unfortunately. Spending my time on rendering characters through words not through the drawing. Different process and in my point of view far more challenging and rewarding. Drawing is too...two-dimensional and not quite as challenging as writing in my opinion. That's not true for everyone of course and does not mean I do not appreciate good drawings or art, I do, I'm just picky. The other book I tried to read and am getting very close to giving up on is Cookie Cutter. Yes, I know I've mentioned it before in my journal and yes, I've only been trying to read the dang thing for two months. The fact that it is only 327 pages - probably means that I should give up and try something, anything else. But I promised Wales I'd give it to her once I finished it. (She can't find it anywhere - not at a bookstore, online or at the library. It is out-of-print. I apparently am the only person with a copy of the thing. Lucky me.)
Regarding why it is out of print? Well, the writing is not that good. It has the worst sex scenes I've read in my entire life. Considering how much fanfic I've read online, that is saying something. I read one of them aloud to Wales and she burst out laughing. Want to read it? Here you go. Don't say I didn't warn you. (Oh unlike my evil fanfic, this writer is not intending on squicking the reader.)
"That's a leading question," Cliff whispered into her ear. "And let me show you what it's leading to."
Since he was at her ear already, he started there. He sucked the lobe a few seconds. His tongue traced the rim, then the crevices. Mary slid down to where the couch provided neck support, and offering her neck to her Dracula. He took nipping bites along its entire length, like her neck was a buttered ear of corn. And she squirmed and arched and gyrated some more.
Her eyes were shut and her head was turned from him, so she patted around until she found him. But he removed her hand by grabbing her wrist. Then he grabbed the other one, locking her into a position of arms raised and separated. With her thus restrained, he raised himself a little to kis her, but she playfully made her mouth a moving target by turning her head away. He caught her anyway, clamping his mouth on hers, trying to insert his tongue past her pursed lips. Throughout, she jerked her wrists against his hold. And when her resistence had worked its magic, had ratcheted her excitement to unbearbable, she yeilded into a cavernous kiss and a boa's embrace.
Cliff released her wrists and trailed his hands along her thighs. Her shorts were large enough for his hand to shoot up to her panties. And when he pressed his hand dead center, her secretions had already soaked through. "Wait a second, honey," she said, then performed the feat of removing shorts and panties while remaining seated. Next she shamelessly opened her legs as far as her hip sockets would allow.
Cliff put his fingers back to work, strumming, parting, polishing, pulling, inserting. And he went back to speaking into her ear.
That's just a taste. There were worse ones. This is more ahem PG-rated.
Sigh. When writing a sex scene, you might not want to use buttered ear of corn as a metaphor or analogy. You also probably don't want to go into so much clinical detail. Leave enough to the imagination. We don't need the words cavernous and boa. Nor do we need secretions. Or hip sockets. OR polished? Polished? Come on. Where is a good editor when you need one? Do people even edit books any more??
Writing sex scenes is hard. If you can't do it? Fade to black fast. About 85% of the books published don't have sex scenes. It's not a requirement. Better to not do it at all then do it badly. Also, just because you've had a lot of sex - does not mean you can write a good sex scene. Actually people who have had no sex or very little often write better sex scenes than those who have had a lot of it. This is one area in which a little goes a long way. Trust the reader - less is more.
Haruki Marukami (whose name I can't spell) - writes amazing sex scenes. So it's not a male/female thing.
Okay off to make dinner before it gets too late and comfort myself with the tv show Brothers and Sisters.It reminds me of Thirtysomething but a lot less whiny, which I also found comforting. Whiny family shows sometimes comfort me, weird I know.
Hmm...meant to write about tv shows in this post but ran out time. As an aside, loving the Masterpiece theater minseries Cranford - really comforting and quite good. Not at all what I expected.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-11-18 05:50 am (UTC)"...strumming, parting, polishing, pulling, inserting."
...
strumming
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polishing
...
ROFL!!!!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-19 01:28 am (UTC)