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shadowkatBefore I go off to frost the decadent chocolat cupcakes that I made for myself (it's for my birthday), thought I jot down a few thoughts that I want to remember. Made it to church this morning...and I really really missed it.
The sermon was on Forgiving our Way Home, but not how one would think. The emphasis was not on what forgiving does for the other person, but why we have to do it for ourselves. It started with a song - The Balm in Gilead, and then a children's story about a town called "Grudgetown". Everyone in the town held grudges, so many, that the town over time became burdened with them.
And was cloudy and sorrowful. It used to be proud of its grudges, showed them off to tourists, but now, no one came. A Wise Man comes and tells the town how to heal itself - and it is by saying just a few words...I'm sorry, and I forgive you. Which we as a congregation repeated.
After saying these words, the grudges fell away and the town renamed itself Joytown. This lead into a reflection by a high school student - he reflected on an article he read about a woman named Sally Ann Howell - who managed to forgive two men for doing horrible things. The first man, was her father, who had accidentally driven over her four year old daughter playing in the driveway and instantly killed the child. The man never forgave himself. But she forgave him and spent years begging him to forgive himself for the death of the child. The second instance was the death of her son - he had been shot by another man over a fight with a girl. She forgave this man the day before he was sentenced to 50 years to life for killing her son. The high school student pondered if she, Sally, had the right to forgive this man who had murdered her son. If this man should be forgiven his crime. Wasn't murder an unforgivable act? And wasn't it an act against her son? How was it her place to do the forgiving? Also isn't the loss of the child the worst think ever? The high school student paused, then said, he read another article - in response to curious reporters asking why she forgave this man, Sally stated she didn't do it for him, she did it to let go of the anger. To let go of all of it. So she could move on and grieve for her son and enjoy life and not be stuck.
The Minister came up to the podium then...and began his sermon...well not right then, but close enough...and he stated the following bits that stick in my memory many hours later, bits that I'm writing down because it is important for me to remember them. He started his sermon off with a story...about how his car was broken into, that in order to steal a cheap radio, the thieves smashed the window and ruined the dashboard. He was calm, until the cop asked him if he locked his car. He said he had. The cop shook his head, you shouldn't have done that. And that's when he became furious he said - all his anger, all his rage went towards that cop.
Because then it was, wait, his fault?? And I found myself smiling - for I remembered having a similar experience when someone broke into my apartment and stole my laptop - I'd left the windows unlocked. Then he asked us all - how many of us had felt wronged? We all raised our hands. How many felt it was the end of the world? Again up went the hands. And how many are still here? Again...up went the hands and the laughter. Here are the points that I want to remember from the sermon...
* When we forgive it is not so much to let go, as to show up. I know that sounds strange. It's an odd way of looking at it. But when you don't forgive and hold onto the grudge, the anger, you become stuck. You find yourself looking at life the way it might have been as opposed to the way it is. You don't see all the wonderful things before you. All you see is what you lost.
What you can't have anymore. Whether this be - a lay-off or loss of a job, being robbed, or a betrayal. If you hold onto it, it takes over your life and you stop showing up for your life.
* In our oldest historical mythologies, the Jewish Prophet, and Christian Savior, Jesus, states to turn the other cheek. When he says this he is not saying to re-enter the abusive relationship, what he is saying is to move on from it. To let it go and to show up in our own lives.
*The statement he gave us as a prayer - "we forgive ourselves and others, and begin again in love" - this after the following: for every time I was silent and should have spoken up, for every time I should not have said something and did, for every time I lashed out in anger and hurt, for every time I blew up...
*We all want to be right. We love being right. Our politics, our religious battles - we are right, you are wrong. But nothing important has ever really been gained by being right. Sometimes being right is not important. Let it go. It does not matter who was right.
Letting go of our grudges, said the Minister, is how we turn grudgetown inside our hearts into Joytown.
The song at the end of the sermon...was a really simple little song..."This Little Light of Mine, I'm Gonna Let it Shine"...followed by a rather inspiring violin concerto. The violin concerto was by a Harlem teen, who is going to LAguardia School of Performing Arts (the school featured in FAME) - she has been playing since the age of 8 and it has transformed her life and those around her.
This Little Light of Mine...has been ringing in my head all day. And it strikes me that the time has come to show up in my life and forget the anger, to let go of what might have been and see what is.
The sermon was on Forgiving our Way Home, but not how one would think. The emphasis was not on what forgiving does for the other person, but why we have to do it for ourselves. It started with a song - The Balm in Gilead, and then a children's story about a town called "Grudgetown". Everyone in the town held grudges, so many, that the town over time became burdened with them.
And was cloudy and sorrowful. It used to be proud of its grudges, showed them off to tourists, but now, no one came. A Wise Man comes and tells the town how to heal itself - and it is by saying just a few words...I'm sorry, and I forgive you. Which we as a congregation repeated.
After saying these words, the grudges fell away and the town renamed itself Joytown. This lead into a reflection by a high school student - he reflected on an article he read about a woman named Sally Ann Howell - who managed to forgive two men for doing horrible things. The first man, was her father, who had accidentally driven over her four year old daughter playing in the driveway and instantly killed the child. The man never forgave himself. But she forgave him and spent years begging him to forgive himself for the death of the child. The second instance was the death of her son - he had been shot by another man over a fight with a girl. She forgave this man the day before he was sentenced to 50 years to life for killing her son. The high school student pondered if she, Sally, had the right to forgive this man who had murdered her son. If this man should be forgiven his crime. Wasn't murder an unforgivable act? And wasn't it an act against her son? How was it her place to do the forgiving? Also isn't the loss of the child the worst think ever? The high school student paused, then said, he read another article - in response to curious reporters asking why she forgave this man, Sally stated she didn't do it for him, she did it to let go of the anger. To let go of all of it. So she could move on and grieve for her son and enjoy life and not be stuck.
The Minister came up to the podium then...and began his sermon...well not right then, but close enough...and he stated the following bits that stick in my memory many hours later, bits that I'm writing down because it is important for me to remember them. He started his sermon off with a story...about how his car was broken into, that in order to steal a cheap radio, the thieves smashed the window and ruined the dashboard. He was calm, until the cop asked him if he locked his car. He said he had. The cop shook his head, you shouldn't have done that. And that's when he became furious he said - all his anger, all his rage went towards that cop.
Because then it was, wait, his fault?? And I found myself smiling - for I remembered having a similar experience when someone broke into my apartment and stole my laptop - I'd left the windows unlocked. Then he asked us all - how many of us had felt wronged? We all raised our hands. How many felt it was the end of the world? Again up went the hands. And how many are still here? Again...up went the hands and the laughter. Here are the points that I want to remember from the sermon...
* When we forgive it is not so much to let go, as to show up. I know that sounds strange. It's an odd way of looking at it. But when you don't forgive and hold onto the grudge, the anger, you become stuck. You find yourself looking at life the way it might have been as opposed to the way it is. You don't see all the wonderful things before you. All you see is what you lost.
What you can't have anymore. Whether this be - a lay-off or loss of a job, being robbed, or a betrayal. If you hold onto it, it takes over your life and you stop showing up for your life.
* In our oldest historical mythologies, the Jewish Prophet, and Christian Savior, Jesus, states to turn the other cheek. When he says this he is not saying to re-enter the abusive relationship, what he is saying is to move on from it. To let it go and to show up in our own lives.
*The statement he gave us as a prayer - "we forgive ourselves and others, and begin again in love" - this after the following: for every time I was silent and should have spoken up, for every time I should not have said something and did, for every time I lashed out in anger and hurt, for every time I blew up...
*We all want to be right. We love being right. Our politics, our religious battles - we are right, you are wrong. But nothing important has ever really been gained by being right. Sometimes being right is not important. Let it go. It does not matter who was right.
Letting go of our grudges, said the Minister, is how we turn grudgetown inside our hearts into Joytown.
The song at the end of the sermon...was a really simple little song..."This Little Light of Mine, I'm Gonna Let it Shine"...followed by a rather inspiring violin concerto. The violin concerto was by a Harlem teen, who is going to LAguardia School of Performing Arts (the school featured in FAME) - she has been playing since the age of 8 and it has transformed her life and those around her.
This Little Light of Mine...has been ringing in my head all day. And it strikes me that the time has come to show up in my life and forget the anger, to let go of what might have been and see what is.
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no subject
Date: 2010-03-08 10:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-09 05:29 pm (UTC)And the part about wanting to be right reminds me of a program I heard last month on "Speaking of Faith (http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/)," a public radio program on religion, spirituality, & meaning. The guests that week were a Palestinian & an Israeli who had both lost close family members to violence from the "other side" (the title was No More Taking Sides (http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/2010/no-more/)) & are now involved in a peace group called the Bereaved Families Forum (http://www.theparentscircle.com/default.asp)--people who've had people they loved killed & are now working together to bring reconciliation. The Palestinian guest said at 1 point that the hard part is being honest: "Everybody wants to be right, nobody wants to be honest" (from memory, not word for word).
The program is on WNYC, 820 AM at 3 pm on Saturdays & 93.9 FM at 7 am & 10 pm on Sundays. I think you might like it. I'd like to make that my birthday present to you! (PS, enjoy your birthday [cup]cakes!)
no subject
Date: 2010-03-09 08:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-10 04:35 am (UTC)Second, about the tendency to tell people who've had someone bad happen what they "shouldn't have" done, & for them to react to that as if it meant what happened was their fault. I've got a story about that, but I don't think I have time to tell it right now.
Finally, "This Little Light" is 1 of the better things you could have stuck in your head! You might blow out a candle on your cupcake, but as for your own little light--let it shine!