Lonely...and adrift
Mar. 5th, 2011 12:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatOkay finally started work on that article about fighting anti-immigration sentiment in the US, which I've been procrastinating. Week has been a difficult one. Feeling a bit at odds, always do this time of year. It's near my birthday, and I always get sort of anxious and depressed around my birthday. Once the damn thing is over - I'm actually pretty cheerful and relieved. May be the time of year? Don't know.
The down-side of living alone is...when you want a hug, there are none to be found except your own. My last one was CW around President's Day Weekend. Could use a hug tonight. Feel lonelier than usual. Don't know why exactly.
The work week felt too long - I thought everday was Friday. That could be the reason? Or maybe it's just this feeling of general inertia, as if I'm climbing up this really steep hill and there's no end in sight?
This is embarrassing. But Am resisting the urge to re-read all of Kim Harrison's novels or write a post on her blog (because I've learned discussing books with authors doesn't quite work for me - I don't want her to know what I think, dissolving the fourth wall and all that) - her last book was a very odd read. Reminded me a little of the feeling I had when I completed Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince or Jim Butcher's Changes or Dunnett's Checkmate (which I promptly re-read). Or for that matter watched Chosen in Buffy S7 or Grave in Buffy S6...or the episode Intervention or Beneath Me or The Hunger Games. It's the gaps in the tale that haunt you. The places in between. The tiny details not followed up on. The pov's not explored. The questions left unanswered. It's like eating a tasty thin piece of pie or cake, yet not full, and there's something in it, some taste that turns you on, but it is so slight and so fleeting that you want to eat the whole cake just to locate it. I can't explain it. But I feel overwhelmed with a cultural craving - that I did not have before I read latest book (last time was when I finished The Hunger Games, it finally abated, this will too, eventually). But I'm not sure what it's for or why. I think I have a certain kink or button that if a book, tv show, character inadvertently hits it - I go nuts. Call it a cultural erogenous zone or hot spot. You hit it? I'm obsessing and in lovvve. But hard to hit. And rarely is.
Off to bed I think. Where...I'll hug myself to sleep.
The down-side of living alone is...when you want a hug, there are none to be found except your own. My last one was CW around President's Day Weekend. Could use a hug tonight. Feel lonelier than usual. Don't know why exactly.
The work week felt too long - I thought everday was Friday. That could be the reason? Or maybe it's just this feeling of general inertia, as if I'm climbing up this really steep hill and there's no end in sight?
This is embarrassing. But Am resisting the urge to re-read all of Kim Harrison's novels or write a post on her blog (because I've learned discussing books with authors doesn't quite work for me - I don't want her to know what I think, dissolving the fourth wall and all that) - her last book was a very odd read. Reminded me a little of the feeling I had when I completed Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince or Jim Butcher's Changes or Dunnett's Checkmate (which I promptly re-read). Or for that matter watched Chosen in Buffy S7 or Grave in Buffy S6...or the episode Intervention or Beneath Me or The Hunger Games. It's the gaps in the tale that haunt you. The places in between. The tiny details not followed up on. The pov's not explored. The questions left unanswered. It's like eating a tasty thin piece of pie or cake, yet not full, and there's something in it, some taste that turns you on, but it is so slight and so fleeting that you want to eat the whole cake just to locate it. I can't explain it. But I feel overwhelmed with a cultural craving - that I did not have before I read latest book (last time was when I finished The Hunger Games, it finally abated, this will too, eventually). But I'm not sure what it's for or why. I think I have a certain kink or button that if a book, tv show, character inadvertently hits it - I go nuts. Call it a cultural erogenous zone or hot spot. You hit it? I'm obsessing and in lovvve. But hard to hit. And rarely is.
Off to bed I think. Where...I'll hug myself to sleep.
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 03:12 pm (UTC)i know i search and search these days to find works that are as fulfilling as i remember. maybe reading Tolkien as an adult was a bad move. now nothing compares.
That's my struggle at the moment. The well-written ones either lack a story/plot that intrigues me or characters that I can love (many don't have a plot at all - they are just people meandering through dysfunctional lives). The poorly written ones have great characters, but lack good plotting (there's gaps or they skip over parts, often doing more telling than showing) or a good ear for dialogue. I don't know if this is because I've read too many books in my lifetime...
George RR Martin is the closest to Tolkien that I've seen in regards to style, dialogue, characterization, plot, but his books are so dark, violent, and grim. (Not that Tolkien's were exactly cheerful, but there was hope in them.)
Anyhow, thank you! Hugs you back.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 08:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 03:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 04:25 pm (UTC){{hug}}
Date: 2011-03-05 01:22 pm (UTC)I've been rereading Sayers' Lord Peter Wimsey books and imagining being hugged by him as I go to sleep.
Re: {{hug}}
Date: 2011-03-05 03:16 pm (UTC)The writer of the book I just read, apparently likes Sayers novels, she referenced Sayers and Doctor Who.
Re: {{hug}}
Date: 2011-03-05 04:50 pm (UTC)And I adore Dorothy L. Sayers, who was famous for a wonderful translation of Dante... but when I visited Oxford I only gave a glance to Sayers' old home & old school... I wanted to see where Lord Peter went to college, and where Lord Peter proposed to Harriet Vane (best Mary Sue ever).
no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 07:31 pm (UTC)Last January, I read both the Hunger Games and Game of Thrones. They were enthralling, page-turner delights. In February, I finished the Vorsagian Saga books by Lois McMaster Bujold with a character that I really liked. I started the Kim Harrison book last night. [Thanks for the rec. I've read them all.]
Books are great but...
more :hugs:
no subject
Date: 2011-03-05 09:48 pm (UTC)