A New York Perspective
May. 3rd, 2011 01:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatCranky...in part because I'm subsisting on less than four hours of sleep if that. And slept miserably the last two night's as well. Own fault of course.
Considered not coming into work today at 2 am this morning - as I lay awake feeling dizzy. But when I awoke at 6am, drug myself in anyhow.
NYC is on heightened alert or red alert for terrorist threats. (Although glancing at my flist, its clear that most people don't know this or what it means- since it's not exactly been broadcast. Was mentioned in the paper this morning, and we've gotten three memos regarding it at work - from the big cheese.) The whole Osma Bin Laden death feels rather empty to me, almost, dare I say it? Anti-climatic. Nor do I think it's going to change anything that much. He set things in motion, others are and have taken his place. But getting rid of an iconic figure who continued to thumb his nose and say nyah, nyah, I can kill you all and you can't touch me...is probably not a bad thing. Still feels empty though. And not that many people celebrated, no one that I know of did around me. And few mentioned it at work - as if it didn't happen or they mentioned it in passing. Facebook didn't, except for me. And LJ? Barely...and mostly to whine about those who did. Odd that in the end...Bin Laden's life means so little, like a stone dropping through water not to be seen again.
That said, I can't say that I'm not glad they killed him, I am, or glad is the wrong word - relieved feels more appropriate, as I'm relieved they didn't merely capture him and put him on trial. That would have been a nightmare. NYC spent the last 12 months fighting with DC on where to try the other planners behind 9/11 - after 12 months, they finally convinced them that holding the trials in NYC near Ground Zero was a really bad idea. NYC simply can't afford the security that would be required, and the Federal government apparently can't either or isn't offering. They are being held in Guitamino Bay...because no one in the US or elsewhere is willing to host them.
It's odd, working for a public service, where every day you pass guys with submachine guns on the way to work - to the point that I don't always notice them...and lots of cops - you are more aware of it. That you are aware that your workplace, and your service is at the top of the list for terrorist attacks as is everyone you work with - because its a public transportation service. It creeps into your consciousness over time...this feeling of not really being safe anywhere, that people you have never met and have never met you could attack and destroy your life without thinking...and you become used to it. To the degree that you shrug. And find yourself more afraid of aliens hanging from your ceiling or a spider jumping at you than the random bombing...because it all feels rather surreal and the distinctions..uncertain. What are the odds, you tell yourself, that it could happen again? So you don't think about it. And it doesn't bother you. And life goes on as it always has...but deep down? You're happy there are national guardsman standing at the entrance of the terminal with submachine guns and they pat people down at security gates for airlines. Because you remember what happened...you breathed the air, you smelled it, and you know it can happen again. That you were thisclose from dying yourself, thisclose from getting the 9/11 illness that killed so many - the contaminated dust, a random figure on a page, someone's cousin, a pile of ash...a statistic. So you may roll your eyes, but quietly you're happy the guards are there...for they make it possible for you to just worry about aliens on the ceiling or spiders jumping at you.
Considered not coming into work today at 2 am this morning - as I lay awake feeling dizzy. But when I awoke at 6am, drug myself in anyhow.
NYC is on heightened alert or red alert for terrorist threats. (Although glancing at my flist, its clear that most people don't know this or what it means- since it's not exactly been broadcast. Was mentioned in the paper this morning, and we've gotten three memos regarding it at work - from the big cheese.) The whole Osma Bin Laden death feels rather empty to me, almost, dare I say it? Anti-climatic. Nor do I think it's going to change anything that much. He set things in motion, others are and have taken his place. But getting rid of an iconic figure who continued to thumb his nose and say nyah, nyah, I can kill you all and you can't touch me...is probably not a bad thing. Still feels empty though. And not that many people celebrated, no one that I know of did around me. And few mentioned it at work - as if it didn't happen or they mentioned it in passing. Facebook didn't, except for me. And LJ? Barely...and mostly to whine about those who did. Odd that in the end...Bin Laden's life means so little, like a stone dropping through water not to be seen again.
That said, I can't say that I'm not glad they killed him, I am, or glad is the wrong word - relieved feels more appropriate, as I'm relieved they didn't merely capture him and put him on trial. That would have been a nightmare. NYC spent the last 12 months fighting with DC on where to try the other planners behind 9/11 - after 12 months, they finally convinced them that holding the trials in NYC near Ground Zero was a really bad idea. NYC simply can't afford the security that would be required, and the Federal government apparently can't either or isn't offering. They are being held in Guitamino Bay...because no one in the US or elsewhere is willing to host them.
It's odd, working for a public service, where every day you pass guys with submachine guns on the way to work - to the point that I don't always notice them...and lots of cops - you are more aware of it. That you are aware that your workplace, and your service is at the top of the list for terrorist attacks as is everyone you work with - because its a public transportation service. It creeps into your consciousness over time...this feeling of not really being safe anywhere, that people you have never met and have never met you could attack and destroy your life without thinking...and you become used to it. To the degree that you shrug. And find yourself more afraid of aliens hanging from your ceiling or a spider jumping at you than the random bombing...because it all feels rather surreal and the distinctions..uncertain. What are the odds, you tell yourself, that it could happen again? So you don't think about it. And it doesn't bother you. And life goes on as it always has...but deep down? You're happy there are national guardsman standing at the entrance of the terminal with submachine guns and they pat people down at security gates for airlines. Because you remember what happened...you breathed the air, you smelled it, and you know it can happen again. That you were thisclose from dying yourself, thisclose from getting the 9/11 illness that killed so many - the contaminated dust, a random figure on a page, someone's cousin, a pile of ash...a statistic. So you may roll your eyes, but quietly you're happy the guards are there...for they make it possible for you to just worry about aliens on the ceiling or spiders jumping at you.
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no subject
Date: 2011-05-03 10:26 pm (UTC)What I meant was that just like you I am glad we aren't faced with a national trial and all the press and hoopla that would involve, but that said: it isn't the kind of glad that is any kind of celebration (which is what I always thought you meant too).
I did see some scenes on TV that looked like Americans celebrating (like after a football game or something), but I knew that those people were no one I know!
Which is really an awkward sentence, and I suppose I should think of clearer ways of saying what I mean.
I won't edit my original post because I know you hate that... but the bottom line is that we agree... you said it best:
"Most people are left with an empty and tired feeling of ambivalence and fear of retailation."
no subject
Date: 2011-05-04 12:46 am (UTC)