Now...we're on to New Moon - Part II of the Twilight Saga, which is just slightly more entertaining

[shadowkat]

Decided to try the next one in the Twilight series...again courtesy of F/X's Halloween movie marathon. This one is Twilight Saga - New Moon, which is just slightly better than the last one in that we no longer have this odd blue-color tone to everything and I don't feel like I'm watching a weird indie horror flick. But it is also unintentionally funny in places - the special effects and fight scenes are ludicrous. We also have Taylor Lautner's Jacob wandering about in his underwear. But hey, at least he got rid of the silly hair extensions.

The dialogue still is at half-speed.

Jacob: I..uh...care...about...you.
Bella:That's..great...but...I
Jacob: You..should..stay..away...from me.

And it feels like a repeat of the last film...except with a werewolf and better abs.
Even has some of the same dialogue. But hey, at least it's in tecno-color and we have light. And the special effects are more fun. We get huge (and obviously CGI) wolves fighting. Makes me sort of miss the good-old days when we had guys in silly costumes looking like something between warthog and wolf and a human or what would happen if you melded the three. Here they just look like the marriage of a wolf and a bear via CGI.
Apparently they did not use the same CGI effects wizard as Game of Thrones.

We also...get the wolf family this round. The wolf family is all Native Americans, while the vampire family are all Northern European Caucasians. The wolf family is actually more attractive, the vamp family looks a bit on the limpid side.

I sort of miss Catherine Hardwick's haunting cinematography which had a haunting indie horror flick feel to it - almost surreal. This cinematography feels more ...well mainstream. Other than that it's mostly the same as the previous flick.

Best things in this one are the same as the last one - Russell Means (Rest in Peace) and Billy Burk...playing Jacob's grandfather and Bella's dad's best bud. There's a rather funny bit with them.

Bella bursts in: Those bears are actually really big wolves in the woods. I just saw them chasing...uh...something.
Father: Wolves, right.
Russell Means: Sure? (he looks uncomfortable) Uhm maybe you didn't see it right?
Father: Well you want to get your hunting stuff together - we'll go hunt down the big wolves. You stay here Bella.

I'm thinking, okay, two guys are going to be able to take on a pack of huge wolves that a vampire couldn't handle? Alrighty then.

Bella: So you are a werewolf.
Jacob: Yes.
Bella: Can't you stop being a werewolf?
Jacob: It's not a lifestyle choice. It's what I am. You can't handle it because I'm not the right kind of monster for you? That's so hypocritical.[I don't know this conversation made me think the writers were alluding to homosexuality?
"Lifestyle choice" and "Right Kind of Monster?" Also I really wish people would stop using monsters and demons to represent disadvantaged minorities. Yes, people demonize the disadvantaged minority. But...the metaphor is...well muddled. I mean how would you feel if you were watching a movie that was referencing you as a demon or monster.]

Bella: But you kill people.
Jacob: No we don't.
Bella: Then what is?
Jacob: The things we kill. Vampires.
Bella: You can't kill vampires, they will kill you.
Jacob: We killed the thing with the dreadlocks.
Bella: Lamont.
Jacob: We'll kill the next one..
Bella:Victoria.
Jacob: Yes.
Bella: You got to be careful, she's fast, you don't know how fast she is.
Jacob: You know your lack of confidence in us is a little insulting. I gotta go.
Bella: You got to go.
Jacob: I got a vampire to go.

Then we have Bella's melodramatic voice-over where she's writing to Alice in her head: Alice, I'm alright.. until I'm alone. Which is all the time now. Jacob's gone he's hunting Victoria. And Charlie's hunting Jacob. And you're gone. And so is Edward. And there's just nothing now. And I realize ...where I have to go, what I have to do ... if I want to see him again. (I'm assuming she's talking about Edward. Not Jacob. And boy is she a whiny and self-absorbed character. Always depressed. Rarely smiles. And doom and gloom. Makes no sense, she's pretty and smart and has a great Dad. Being Loved or Adored is her drug, apparently.)

Oh Russell Means saved Charlie from red-headed Victoria, who is actually sort of cool - whose playing her? Jacob saved Russell Means, or maybe not. And now we have this weird CGI fight between Victoria and the big wolf, while a moody indie alt rock band plays in the background admist really pretty redwood trees. This movie has a green and red tint to it and is sort of pretty. I rather like the cinematography. Best thing about the movie.I could just turn off the dialogue and watch the pretty cinematography.

It's odd, when Edward was around things were a depressing blue tint, with him gone, everything is a bright and green and sort of sunny. You'd think it would be the opposite?

As an aside, Jacob makes one pretty CGI wolf.

Meanwhile, Bella has decided to jump off a cliff into the ocean. Jeeze, Victoria - if you wanted to kill Bella, you should just have waited for her to throw herself off a cliff.
And Jacob, Edward, etc, you really shouldn't have bothered. Oh wait, Victoria comes after Bella to kill her. Bella panics and tries to escape, hitting her head against the rock, and falls to the bottom unconscious, as Edward tries to stop her by talking to her in her head - he's not really there - just in her head. (Don't tease me show, I know you aren't going to kill her - we should be so lucky.) Jacob saves her before she can really connect to the mystical Edward in her head. (Damn. Dude you really shouldn't have wasted your breath or energy.)

Oh damn, Russell Means character died? I liked him. He was entertaining. Poor Vicki she killed the wrong character. But not to worry, she lives to torment our heroine another day. Seriously, can these writers come up with an original idea?

This one is at least better filmed and directed than the last one. Moves quicker, and
the cinematography is less dark and depressing. But overall, it's silly. Also the heroine is not likable. What do these guys see in her? And can Kristen Stewart be any more stoned?
(I'm beginning to wonder if this is just the actress? She acted stoned in Runaways too. Not sure what she's like in Snow White and the Huntress.)

IT is the same love story with her and Jacob, as it was with Edward. Except she's playing the role of Edward in their relationship. So she goes from killing herself for Edward, to playing romantic head-games with Jacob until the Cullens reappear and aren't in her head.

Alice: Why are you alive? I saw a vision in my head. Why did you jump off a cliff and try to kill yourself?
Bella: I didn't try to kill myself. I was recreational cliff-jumping. (LOL! Ah, finally a sense of humor!) I cliff jump as a hobby.
Alice: Bella, I've never met anyone so prone to dangerous acts of idiocy. And what is that wet-dog smell.
Bella: That's me.
Alice: What?
Bella: Jacob's a werewolf.
Alice: You don't want to be around werewolves, they are bad.
Jacob: Look who's talking.
Alice: I'm leaving.
Bella: Not permanently?
Alice: I'll come back as soon as you put the dog back..

Then Jacob and Bella have this weird romantic interlude, where she says we don't have to keep doing this to each other, and he says yes we do. (Mainly because Bella can't make up her mind and likes to string her admirers along.) They almost kiss - but not quite. Edward interrupts with a phone call. (apparently he does know how to use a phone!) Jacob answers and tells him that her Dad isn't here right now, he's arranging a funeral. Of course, Edward jumps to the conclusion that Bella is dead. (I thought he could telepathically talk to her or to her through Alice? Or was that all in Bella's head?) To be fair to Jacob, he was telling the truth - Charlie is planning Russell Means funeral. (not Bella's unfortunately). So, of course, in true Romeo fashion, Edward goes to the Voltarium so that he can arrange his own death - because he can't live without Bella. (He's not even in the same state as Bella...you'd think he would come back first and check out the facts. At least Romeo visited Juliet and determined for himself that she was dead before taking his own life. But Shakespeare, this isn't.) So...Bella takes off with Alice to stop him despite Jacob's pleas that she stay with him and her Dad, roll melodramatic music..dum, dum..dum.. Jacob, understandably, takes off in huff. [I feel sort of sorry for Jacob - Bella's in danger because of Edward, Jacob saves her, she tries to kill herself because of Edward, Jacob saves her, she flirts with Jacob and makes him think he has a chance, Edward calls thinks she's dead, and off she goes to stop Edward? Don't worry Bella, Edward won't die. This isn't Shakespeare, after all. As an aside, why do people keep re-doing Romeo and Juliet? I never found it to be that interesting, a bit melodramatic.]

As an aside what is it with our society and romantic heroines going for controlling melodramatic heroes or whiny heroes...who are obsessed with them? The Hunger Games? She goes for Peeta who is obsessively in love with her, as opposed to the more pragmatic Gale that she's known forever? And in Buffy, she goes for the obsessive and controlling Angel who keeps tabs on her? And in Vamp Diaries...its obsessive and moody Stefan? And these guys are always incredibly important and chosen and better than the heroine in some way?
And they are always trying to save her? I think the Hunger Games is the only one that makes fun of the trope and takes a slightly different path.

Oh poor Edward - the Voltarium turned him down and asked him to join them instead. So he's going to make a scene instead? And they say Meyer never watched Buffy or Angel? Edward reminds me a lot of Angel. Granted its not a new trope. Romeo was the same, just not a vampire. Oh Bella's flown to Venice in record time - with Alice, in order to stop Edward from exposing his beautiful sparkly diamond body to the humans. Lots of red robes. This is definitely a more interesting film than Twilight was.

Oh, she embraces him in the nick of time. He's pretty. They embrace. And then talk in halting sentences..with intense emotion and gasping. Oh, we get a kiss. But wait, no it is stopped by the Voltarium. And a rather pretty blond girl. (I'm guessing the vampires represent the disadvantaged minority that is Mormons, and its branches.)

Well, the film just got sort of interesting. Apparently the vampire's mind control doesn't work on Bella. They can't cause her pain or read her thoughts. They try to kill her and fight Edward who strives to protect her...until, Bella tells them to kill her instead.
And they are amazed she'd give her life for a soulless being. (Okay, I swear I've read this plot in fanfic, either Buffy/Spike or Buffy/Angel. Or maybe it was Anne Rice or Forever Knight? Or the Kindred? Or the latest version of Dracula?) Alice stops them from killing her - when she tells them she saw Bella as a vampire, she will be one of them.
Which of course makes them happy. The escort Bella out of the Voltarium, as they escort the tourists into it. ...Oh, wait, the vampires just ate all the tourists. (LOL! The new director has a sense of humor.) Maybe it was just Bella's dream? Now she's back and her father is understandably upset that she took off for three days without a word. He grounds her for the rest of her life. But that doesn't keep Edward out - he can enter her bedroom without anyone knowing. And he can't leave now, because he can't live without her...oh poor Eddie.

Bella's trying to talk the Cullens into turning her into a vampire. They vote to turn her.
But she agrees to wait until after graduation. And now they have a confab with Jacob, where Eddie thanks Jacob for saving her. Except Jacob..doesn't want her to become a vamp.
The treaty between the wolves and the vampires - is the vamps don't bite and hurt humans.
But Bella chooses Edward and to be a vampire. Edward asks that she wait five years, she says its too long, so he tries to negotiate it down to three. She disagrees. So he says he has one condition if she wants to live forever...and that is ...to marry him. She looks shocked. Seriously? It's like getting married is worse than becoming a vampire? Honey, you can get out of a marriage.

Better than the other movie. But still silly. And Kristen Stewart still looks really stoned. Best thing about this one was the cinematography and the pretty wolf CGI effects.
Still not sure I get the appeal of these. Is the audience really stoned? I suppose it would work for me better if I found either lead to be attractive, but I don't. Pretty, yes. But not ...attractive. Taylor Lautner is the most attractive of the three and he can barely act.

D-

Comments

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

Well, having seen Pattinson and Stewart in other things? I'm convinced neither can act. Pattinson played Cederic in the Harry Potter series and ...barely registered and was the lead in Water for Elephants - totally miscast. Stewart seems stoned in everything she does.

[sophist.livejournal.com]

That's my view too. Pattinson is hopelessly bad. Stewart was above that in the Twilight movies but not a lot. I haven't seen either of them anywhere else, though I might watch Snow White and the Huntsman or On the Road (if it gets good reviews -- not a fan of Jack Kerouac).

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

I saw Stewart in Runaways and she acts just as stoned as she does in Twilight. So, I'm guessing not necessarily the fault of the character or the director?

Pattinson gives a whole new meaning to the phrase acting constipated.