10 Things About Buffy...
May. 23rd, 2013 10:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatManaged to miss the violent thunderstorms that plagued NYC today, because I work in a cave cubicle in Jamaica, Queens. It wasn't hit that badly. Taking tomorrow, the weekend, and Tuesday off.
There's a meme going around celebrating the 10th Anniversary of Buffy the Vampire Slayer ("Buffy" or "BTVS")...stating 10 things that made Buffy great. But I thought, frak that, it's more 10 things that made me hopelessly obsessed with the series much to my family and non-internet friends considerable chagrin. If you weren't a Buffy fan, you'll never understand those of us who were. Although my list may or may not be a place to start.
1. Redefined the Horror Genre (amongst others)
She's also, and this is important, NOT the damsel or the victim.
Unless you are a fan of the gothic/superhero/slasher horror genre...unlike Penny, you won't notice the degree to which Whedon, a horror film critic, slaughtered the old school horror tropes and then redefined the hour-long gothic drama, not to mention the horror genre with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The name in of itself was a sly joke - or a comment on the vampire/gothic/slasher genre in its entirety. Whedon neither satirizes nor parodies, he slyly sends it up while at the same time paying homage to it. Fixing the bits and pieces that he didn't like.
Up until Buffy the Vampire Slayer - the guy was the hero and the cute blond was the victim, often the first victim. Buffy changed all that. From the very first scene, where we are teased by a creepy bad boy bringing an innocent blond girl into a high school, at night, in the dark all alone. In most tv shows in the 1990s and well, now, the guy would have turned into a vampire and sunk his teeth into the girl's neck. But in Buffy, the girl turns out to be the vampire and sinks her teeth into the guy's neck.
Buffy herself is a pint-sized, pretty, former high-school cheerleader, from the valley. In the 1990s and 1980s, being from "The Valley" or a "Valley Girl" meant dumb or shallow. They were a cinematic joke. The title itself is a joke. "Buffy" is the vampire slayer. For a bit it appeared to be a one-joke show, but no. Whedon expanded on the cliche and subverted it.
Acting to redefine a genre. Or at least trying to. To an extent he succeeded. Urban fantasy took off during Buffy's tenure. And the leads were often tough women like Buffy herself.
2. Enter the Dramedy...or a bit of angst cluttered with quips
Prior to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, most hour-long series were, well, dramas, shorter series were sitcoms. Rarely did the two meet. Whedon was amongst those who created the hour-long dramedy. The series undercut its dramatic moments with sly quips. There's a line of dialogue between Buffy and Angel in S3, where he gives her a book of poetry that states that he loves her so much he is literally holding her heart in his hands. Buffy says while this is incredibly romantic, it is also..taken literally, incredibly gross. Others? Spike's line in Once More With Feeling - "If my heart could beat, it would break my chest". Or Buffy's timeless quip - "If the Apocalypse Comes? Beep Me."
The dialoque was fast and witty. The lines instantly quotable and many snaked their way into our lexicon.
The humor, a self-deprecating and at times very dry wit, undercut the campiness. The show often made fun of itself and the camp. The characters cracking wise or snarking at the silly monsters that came their way. In the process, it also made fun of pop culture.
3. Bending the rules regarding Narrative Form & the introduction of the Meta Narrative
Whedon played with format in Buffy the Vampire Slayer in a way few have before or since. Sure people experiment with tropes now and again, and he's certainly not the first to subvert them. But while the network wasn't paying attention nor apparently a lot of other people - the writers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer were experimenting with different ways of telling a story.
* Hush - Whedon decided to see if he could tell a story without much dialogue, purely through silence and make it work within the fabric of the narrative as a whole. Add a bunch of fairy-tale villains and various comments on the unsuitability of words to express meaning...
* Once More With Feeling - Whedon created a musical meta narrative. He didn't just write a musical, because anyone can do that - see Sam Rami's Xenia, Scrubs' Musical Episode or countless others, no, Whedon went a step further - he created a musical that commented on itself, the medium, the act of storytelling, and the creation of a musical in of itself.
OMWF was a meta narrative with music and dance numbers. I remember a friend telling me - oh this is odd, the show is actually making fun of the fact that they are doing a musical.
The self-deprecating wit - was what endeared Whedon to a lot of his fans. And never was it more evident than in OMWF. The songs themselves are jokes or plays upon words, with lots of sexual puns thrown in.
Examples:
+ Operatic numbers regarding the difficulty of removing Mustard from a Shirt or protesting a parking ticket (with the co-executive producers of the series, Marti Noxon and David Fury performing them).
+ Xander turning to the audience after finishing his impromptu song and dance number with Anya: "move it along, nothing to see"
+ Tara's last line of Under Your Spell as Willow goes down on her...off screen, causing her to elevate...Make me come........plete.
+ And of course...Xander's last speech about doing a musical, which could be word for word Whedon's own speech to his cast and crew and the audience watching.
* The Body - the only episode that had no sound-track. Depicting death through awkward silences. Empty spaces. Negative space. And deft camera work. The episode haunts long after you see it. It feels stripped of metaphor, but of course it's not...the metaphor being the negative space that fills the space Buffy's mother once occupied.
* Restless - an experiment in surrealism and visual poetry. You either hated it or loved it. At its simplest - it explores the insecurities and fatal flaws of all four principle characters through their dreams, while at the same time providing the audience with a hidden road-map to the rest of the series. If only the audience can decipher it. Through-out pop culture puns and sly jokes are littered - either directed at overblown cinematic darlings such as Apocalypse Now or French surrealistic cinema.
*Fool for Love - a study in styles...watching Fool for Love is a bit like reading a comic made for tv. It jumps around. But at the same time it utilizes the unreliable narrator. As we watch Spike spin his tale for Buffy's ears...we also see the character redefine himself and his own image. At the end it's hard to know who he is exactly. Or what he wants. But do any of us know this for certain? The episode plays with identity and the roles people take on.
Each of the above episodes is a film/television scholar's dream. Filled to the brim with meta narrative and commentary on the medium, while at the same time expanding on it.
4. The Music...
Most tv series music I barely notice. Oh they have it. Grey's Anatomy and Vampire Diaries is so obnoxious about it that I have to turn on close-captioning. The music in those series often feels more like product placement. Few tv series selected songs that fit the series so perfectly. Or for that matter knew how to blend the music with the episode. Buffy was also amongst the first to premiere new bands, and albums, which people bought after-wards. Now - it's sort of a given for a lot of music related series or hip teen shows. But back then, not so much.
The music in Buffy haunted me after the show ended. It encapsulated so perfectly the mood or the characters, often adding that extra layer. It was NOT just annoying background music or product placement.
Examples of some of the songs:
1. Wild Horses by the Sundays- the Buffy/Angel Theme Song during The Prom
2. Transvalania Concubine by Rapunzel - Drusilla's Theme in Surprise
3. Pavlov's Bell by Aimee Mann - Spike's theme song in Sleeper (with the perfect phrase: "Trading Coats and ringing pavlov's bell...history knows that's how I fell")
4. Full of Grace by Sarah McLachlan - the final song in Becoming Part II - while Buffy is on the bus
5. The Prayer of St. Francis by Sarah McLachlan - the finale song of Grave, S6
6. Goodbye to You by Michelle Branch- the finale song in Tabula Rasa when both Tara and Giles have left
7. Virgin State of Mind by K's Choice- Willow's Theme song in Dopplegangland
8. Behind Blue Eyes by the Who - Giles song, which he sings in Where the Wild Things ARe
9. Blue - the song Joss Whedon wrote for Conversations with Dead People, which begins the episode and sung by Angie Hart
10. Key by the Devices - the Drusilla and Spike theme song in Crush
And many, many more.
There's also the haunting scores...such as the Gentleman's theme in HUSH, which sends shivers up the spine, Close Your Eyes - Buffy/Angel theme, or the Final Flight score to Chosen. Not to mention the Buffy theme music specifically created for the series by The Breeders.
5. Characters that you can sink your teeth into...
Whedon created complex characters, who were not always likable. Often did bad things. Yet were also relatable on a certain level. You cared. And characters make a story.
Fans of the series have their favorites - which they will fight to the death for, no less.
Some of the characters even subverted classic genre tropes.
For me...it was Spike, he was my favorite. He subverted the tropes. Next in line, was probably Buffy...who equally subverted tropes and rose above the stereotype of her name.
6. Literary references
Besides multiple film and television references, the show was book smart and an English Lit major not to mention a Psyche and Philosophy major's dream come true. References ranged from Victor Hugo's Hunchback of Notre Dame to Shakespeare's Henry the V. In one episode - there's a reference to Edgar Allan Poe's The Cask of Amontillado.
On the Psyche side of the fence - we had references to Freud and Jung. And if you were a philosophy buff, better yet into existentialism, you most likely went nuts over the philosophical references and metaphors.
People annotated Buffy, referencing the thousands of references littered within the series.
And discussing the meaning of each.
7. Evolution of Story...or referencing past episodes in a new way, giving those episodes a new meaning.
Buffy was amongst the few series that got better as it went along, and made former episodes which you once thought weren't that great seem either good or amazing upon re-viewing. It was, in short, a series that you wanted to re-watch. Because after you saw a later episode, you realized, wait, I missed something in the previous one.
The last three seasons of the series for example comment on the first three. It's almost as if the post-adolescent characters are seeing what happened in the high school years now through adult eyes. "HIM" in comic form exposes another side of "Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered" - with Xander and Spike now in the befuddled Giles role. Or how about the episode where Amy forces Willow to do a body switch, just as her mother once did to Amy in the classic episode "Witch"? The ironic subtext remains ever present. Upon re-watch, the viewer catches the sly commentary on the characters. And begins to see each in a new way.
8. Improves upon Re-watching - or The Series You Feel Compelled to Re-Watch
Buffy is that rare series where each time you watch it, it's like you've watched a new show, you react to it completely differently. There's a few movies, books, and tv shows that I feel a need to re-watch - because when I do, I pick up something new every time. Or see something I didn't the first round.
It's odd, the television series critics often rave about right out of the box, I don't feel a need to re-watch. As brilliant as it is, there's nothing to be gained in re-watching Breaking Bad or the Wire, I think. It's pretty much all there on the first go-around. But Buffy, you don't always see it. It's hard to explain exactly - it's a bit like looking a Rorschach Drawing, each time you do, you see something new?
9. The Gaps in the Story-Telling...or the bits the Writers didn't tell us
While mostly frustrating, this technique can to a degree create obsession. The Writer doesn't explain his story. Too often writers do. The show will wrap itself up so neatly, that you won't need any more info. Nor do you need to re-watch. With Buffy, you did.
It wasn't always clear. You could debate Buffy. You could argue about it. You could over-analyze it. The writer left gaps.
10. Broke barriers in TV
* First Full-Blown Lesbian Relationship Shown on Network TV and First Kiss not to mention sex scene
* Rough/Kinky Sex with no nudity on Network TV (the jaw-dropping moment of Smashed, when Buffy unzips Spike and impales herself on his, well, penis. This is also ground-breaking in that Buffy initiates the sex and Buffy launches herself at him, and Buffy is the one in control...rarely if ever seen, unless the female character is a villain or femme fatale trope, here it was the opposite.)
* Played with Narrative Structure
* Subversion of Gender Roles (see Smashed)
* Made fun of Burger King and advertisers...which ahem, was not permitted afterwards
It also had a lot of fun playing with "jump the shark" television tropes and flipping them. Whedon made fun of tv, made fun of established television tropes - such as the magical kid who shows up out of nowhere.
As much as I loved that series, I do not want a reunion special or movie. Nor a reboot. Let it be what it is, please.
Oh, now here's 10 short but sweet reasons I loved it, the non-obsessive addition:
1. Spike
2. Subversion of Gender Tropes
3. Spuffy or the Spike/Buffy relationship
4. Cool songs and soundtrack
5. Once More with Feeling - musical geek
6. Quips and Witty Humor and Dialogue
7. Girl is the hero or Buffy
8. Willow
9. Giles (actually ASH - I watched it for him to start with)
10. Unpredictable and experimental episodes
There's a meme going around celebrating the 10th Anniversary of Buffy the Vampire Slayer ("Buffy" or "BTVS")...stating 10 things that made Buffy great. But I thought, frak that, it's more 10 things that made me hopelessly obsessed with the series much to my family and non-internet friends considerable chagrin. If you weren't a Buffy fan, you'll never understand those of us who were. Although my list may or may not be a place to start.
1. Redefined the Horror Genre (amongst others)
Penny: I don't get why Leonard loves this show so much. Sure it's cute but...
Bernadette: You did notice that it's about a girl who kills monsters and kicks ass...
Penny: Oh that's right, the girl does it instead of the guy, whoppee
- The Big Bang Theory
She's also, and this is important, NOT the damsel or the victim.
Unless you are a fan of the gothic/superhero/slasher horror genre...unlike Penny, you won't notice the degree to which Whedon, a horror film critic, slaughtered the old school horror tropes and then redefined the hour-long gothic drama, not to mention the horror genre with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The name in of itself was a sly joke - or a comment on the vampire/gothic/slasher genre in its entirety. Whedon neither satirizes nor parodies, he slyly sends it up while at the same time paying homage to it. Fixing the bits and pieces that he didn't like.
Up until Buffy the Vampire Slayer - the guy was the hero and the cute blond was the victim, often the first victim. Buffy changed all that. From the very first scene, where we are teased by a creepy bad boy bringing an innocent blond girl into a high school, at night, in the dark all alone. In most tv shows in the 1990s and well, now, the guy would have turned into a vampire and sunk his teeth into the girl's neck. But in Buffy, the girl turns out to be the vampire and sinks her teeth into the guy's neck.
Buffy herself is a pint-sized, pretty, former high-school cheerleader, from the valley. In the 1990s and 1980s, being from "The Valley" or a "Valley Girl" meant dumb or shallow. They were a cinematic joke. The title itself is a joke. "Buffy" is the vampire slayer. For a bit it appeared to be a one-joke show, but no. Whedon expanded on the cliche and subverted it.
Acting to redefine a genre. Or at least trying to. To an extent he succeeded. Urban fantasy took off during Buffy's tenure. And the leads were often tough women like Buffy herself.
2. Enter the Dramedy...or a bit of angst cluttered with quips
Prior to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, most hour-long series were, well, dramas, shorter series were sitcoms. Rarely did the two meet. Whedon was amongst those who created the hour-long dramedy. The series undercut its dramatic moments with sly quips. There's a line of dialogue between Buffy and Angel in S3, where he gives her a book of poetry that states that he loves her so much he is literally holding her heart in his hands. Buffy says while this is incredibly romantic, it is also..taken literally, incredibly gross. Others? Spike's line in Once More With Feeling - "If my heart could beat, it would break my chest". Or Buffy's timeless quip - "If the Apocalypse Comes? Beep Me."
The dialoque was fast and witty. The lines instantly quotable and many snaked their way into our lexicon.
The humor, a self-deprecating and at times very dry wit, undercut the campiness. The show often made fun of itself and the camp. The characters cracking wise or snarking at the silly monsters that came their way. In the process, it also made fun of pop culture.
3. Bending the rules regarding Narrative Form & the introduction of the Meta Narrative
Whedon played with format in Buffy the Vampire Slayer in a way few have before or since. Sure people experiment with tropes now and again, and he's certainly not the first to subvert them. But while the network wasn't paying attention nor apparently a lot of other people - the writers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer were experimenting with different ways of telling a story.
* Hush - Whedon decided to see if he could tell a story without much dialogue, purely through silence and make it work within the fabric of the narrative as a whole. Add a bunch of fairy-tale villains and various comments on the unsuitability of words to express meaning...
* Once More With Feeling - Whedon created a musical meta narrative. He didn't just write a musical, because anyone can do that - see Sam Rami's Xenia, Scrubs' Musical Episode or countless others, no, Whedon went a step further - he created a musical that commented on itself, the medium, the act of storytelling, and the creation of a musical in of itself.
OMWF was a meta narrative with music and dance numbers. I remember a friend telling me - oh this is odd, the show is actually making fun of the fact that they are doing a musical.
The self-deprecating wit - was what endeared Whedon to a lot of his fans. And never was it more evident than in OMWF. The songs themselves are jokes or plays upon words, with lots of sexual puns thrown in.
Examples:
+ Operatic numbers regarding the difficulty of removing Mustard from a Shirt or protesting a parking ticket (with the co-executive producers of the series, Marti Noxon and David Fury performing them).
+ Xander turning to the audience after finishing his impromptu song and dance number with Anya: "move it along, nothing to see"
+ Tara's last line of Under Your Spell as Willow goes down on her...off screen, causing her to elevate...Make me come........plete.
+ And of course...Xander's last speech about doing a musical, which could be word for word Whedon's own speech to his cast and crew and the audience watching.
* The Body - the only episode that had no sound-track. Depicting death through awkward silences. Empty spaces. Negative space. And deft camera work. The episode haunts long after you see it. It feels stripped of metaphor, but of course it's not...the metaphor being the negative space that fills the space Buffy's mother once occupied.
* Restless - an experiment in surrealism and visual poetry. You either hated it or loved it. At its simplest - it explores the insecurities and fatal flaws of all four principle characters through their dreams, while at the same time providing the audience with a hidden road-map to the rest of the series. If only the audience can decipher it. Through-out pop culture puns and sly jokes are littered - either directed at overblown cinematic darlings such as Apocalypse Now or French surrealistic cinema.
*Fool for Love - a study in styles...watching Fool for Love is a bit like reading a comic made for tv. It jumps around. But at the same time it utilizes the unreliable narrator. As we watch Spike spin his tale for Buffy's ears...we also see the character redefine himself and his own image. At the end it's hard to know who he is exactly. Or what he wants. But do any of us know this for certain? The episode plays with identity and the roles people take on.
Each of the above episodes is a film/television scholar's dream. Filled to the brim with meta narrative and commentary on the medium, while at the same time expanding on it.
4. The Music...
Most tv series music I barely notice. Oh they have it. Grey's Anatomy and Vampire Diaries is so obnoxious about it that I have to turn on close-captioning. The music in those series often feels more like product placement. Few tv series selected songs that fit the series so perfectly. Or for that matter knew how to blend the music with the episode. Buffy was also amongst the first to premiere new bands, and albums, which people bought after-wards. Now - it's sort of a given for a lot of music related series or hip teen shows. But back then, not so much.
The music in Buffy haunted me after the show ended. It encapsulated so perfectly the mood or the characters, often adding that extra layer. It was NOT just annoying background music or product placement.
Examples of some of the songs:
1. Wild Horses by the Sundays- the Buffy/Angel Theme Song during The Prom
2. Transvalania Concubine by Rapunzel - Drusilla's Theme in Surprise
3. Pavlov's Bell by Aimee Mann - Spike's theme song in Sleeper (with the perfect phrase: "Trading Coats and ringing pavlov's bell...history knows that's how I fell")
4. Full of Grace by Sarah McLachlan - the final song in Becoming Part II - while Buffy is on the bus
5. The Prayer of St. Francis by Sarah McLachlan - the finale song of Grave, S6
6. Goodbye to You by Michelle Branch- the finale song in Tabula Rasa when both Tara and Giles have left
7. Virgin State of Mind by K's Choice- Willow's Theme song in Dopplegangland
8. Behind Blue Eyes by the Who - Giles song, which he sings in Where the Wild Things ARe
9. Blue - the song Joss Whedon wrote for Conversations with Dead People, which begins the episode and sung by Angie Hart
10. Key by the Devices - the Drusilla and Spike theme song in Crush
And many, many more.
There's also the haunting scores...such as the Gentleman's theme in HUSH, which sends shivers up the spine, Close Your Eyes - Buffy/Angel theme, or the Final Flight score to Chosen. Not to mention the Buffy theme music specifically created for the series by The Breeders.
5. Characters that you can sink your teeth into...
Whedon created complex characters, who were not always likable. Often did bad things. Yet were also relatable on a certain level. You cared. And characters make a story.
Fans of the series have their favorites - which they will fight to the death for, no less.
Some of the characters even subverted classic genre tropes.
For me...it was Spike, he was my favorite. He subverted the tropes. Next in line, was probably Buffy...who equally subverted tropes and rose above the stereotype of her name.
6. Literary references
Besides multiple film and television references, the show was book smart and an English Lit major not to mention a Psyche and Philosophy major's dream come true. References ranged from Victor Hugo's Hunchback of Notre Dame to Shakespeare's Henry the V. In one episode - there's a reference to Edgar Allan Poe's The Cask of Amontillado.
On the Psyche side of the fence - we had references to Freud and Jung. And if you were a philosophy buff, better yet into existentialism, you most likely went nuts over the philosophical references and metaphors.
People annotated Buffy, referencing the thousands of references littered within the series.
And discussing the meaning of each.
7. Evolution of Story...or referencing past episodes in a new way, giving those episodes a new meaning.
Buffy was amongst the few series that got better as it went along, and made former episodes which you once thought weren't that great seem either good or amazing upon re-viewing. It was, in short, a series that you wanted to re-watch. Because after you saw a later episode, you realized, wait, I missed something in the previous one.
The last three seasons of the series for example comment on the first three. It's almost as if the post-adolescent characters are seeing what happened in the high school years now through adult eyes. "HIM" in comic form exposes another side of "Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered" - with Xander and Spike now in the befuddled Giles role. Or how about the episode where Amy forces Willow to do a body switch, just as her mother once did to Amy in the classic episode "Witch"? The ironic subtext remains ever present. Upon re-watch, the viewer catches the sly commentary on the characters. And begins to see each in a new way.
8. Improves upon Re-watching - or The Series You Feel Compelled to Re-Watch
Buffy is that rare series where each time you watch it, it's like you've watched a new show, you react to it completely differently. There's a few movies, books, and tv shows that I feel a need to re-watch - because when I do, I pick up something new every time. Or see something I didn't the first round.
It's odd, the television series critics often rave about right out of the box, I don't feel a need to re-watch. As brilliant as it is, there's nothing to be gained in re-watching Breaking Bad or the Wire, I think. It's pretty much all there on the first go-around. But Buffy, you don't always see it. It's hard to explain exactly - it's a bit like looking a Rorschach Drawing, each time you do, you see something new?
9. The Gaps in the Story-Telling...or the bits the Writers didn't tell us
While mostly frustrating, this technique can to a degree create obsession. The Writer doesn't explain his story. Too often writers do. The show will wrap itself up so neatly, that you won't need any more info. Nor do you need to re-watch. With Buffy, you did.
It wasn't always clear. You could debate Buffy. You could argue about it. You could over-analyze it. The writer left gaps.
10. Broke barriers in TV
* First Full-Blown Lesbian Relationship Shown on Network TV and First Kiss not to mention sex scene
* Rough/Kinky Sex with no nudity on Network TV (the jaw-dropping moment of Smashed, when Buffy unzips Spike and impales herself on his, well, penis. This is also ground-breaking in that Buffy initiates the sex and Buffy launches herself at him, and Buffy is the one in control...rarely if ever seen, unless the female character is a villain or femme fatale trope, here it was the opposite.)
* Played with Narrative Structure
* Subversion of Gender Roles (see Smashed)
* Made fun of Burger King and advertisers...which ahem, was not permitted afterwards
It also had a lot of fun playing with "jump the shark" television tropes and flipping them. Whedon made fun of tv, made fun of established television tropes - such as the magical kid who shows up out of nowhere.
As much as I loved that series, I do not want a reunion special or movie. Nor a reboot. Let it be what it is, please.
Oh, now here's 10 short but sweet reasons I loved it, the non-obsessive addition:
1. Spike
2. Subversion of Gender Tropes
3. Spuffy or the Spike/Buffy relationship
4. Cool songs and soundtrack
5. Once More with Feeling - musical geek
6. Quips and Witty Humor and Dialogue
7. Girl is the hero or Buffy
8. Willow
9. Giles (actually ASH - I watched it for him to start with)
10. Unpredictable and experimental episodes
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no subject
Date: 2013-05-25 02:20 am (UTC)This is true with slash fans as well. Many heterosexual female fans love m/m slash - because you have a man in the female role, and the hunky guy. No competition with the pretty girl. Same deal for the guys - got two women, no competition for the pretty girls. And they can fantasize about not being in the traditional male or female roles they are often forced into.
A lot of people watch tv or read books for a book boyfriend or tv boyfriend, the gal is in the way. It's not always conscious, but I've noticed a trend. Plus often the women cast in these tv series most of us can't identify with. For example? I struggled to identify with Buffy - she's clearly a male fantasy in a lot of ways, petite, pretty, sexy, the cheer-leader or ex-cheerleader. She was Whedon's sexual fantasy. But being female? She represented the people who ruthlessly teased or tormented or were my competition in high school. I loved the character, but struggled with her too. Didn't have this issue with Spike - who was an outsider, not part of the group, snarky, and not female.
A lot of it is sexual fantasy.
The other problem is how the female characters are often written. Buffy was admittedly written well, complicated. But she was often difficult for women who weren't pretty, weren't cute, weren't petite, weren't coordinated...to identify with. Lots of women had more in common with Xander or even Tara.
It is a weakness in not just Whedon's tv series but many series on television. What I love about Grey's Anatomy - is it has strong female characters of various body types and tropes - the men are more fantasy, while the women are more identifiable, in part because it's run by a woman writer. This is also oddly true of Game of Thrones - where we have the character of Brienne, along with Dany.
That's one explanation for the tendency of women fans to prefer male characters to female characters in series. I know for example that I watch Vamp Diaries for the male characters, the female characters are interesting, but I mainly watch for the men. And with Buffy - while I did watch the series before Spike appeared and would most like have watched without him, I admittedly started watching for ASH, and stuck around for Angel - it wasn't until Nightmares that Buffy herself grabbed my attention. And there were moments in which I had difficulty sympathizing with her - or identifying.