(no subject)
Feb. 1st, 2014 12:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatLately...people have been coming up to me, people I've known a while, and giving me the oddest compliments. Today for example, my downstairs neighbor told me how great I looked. Let's keep in mind, I was coming back from the laundry-mat, had a coat and hat on, and no makeup. And yesterday...had the following conversations with co-workers:
Co-worker 1: It's more than just the weight, you look amazing. It's chemical. Your skin is different. And it's almost as if you have a glow? It's as if you are a completely different person. And I never noticed before how incredibly pretty you are. Whatever you've been doing - keep up the good work. [Weirdly, I was not feeling all that great when she told me this, having digestive issues - but nothing serious. Just ate one too many nuts - I find that I've been using nuts to deal with food cravings.]
Co-worker 2: God, you're so skinny, I'm so jealous of you. [It's probably worth mentioning, that I've not lost any weight since the 40-46 pounds. And technically speaking - I'm still a good 15-20 pounds away from my medically approved weight/BMI and my goal.]
So...this does help provide incentive to continue doing the diet and the therapy. It isn't easy. Can't eat 75% of the stuff at Whole Foods. None of the prepared stuff - except for the roitsseri chicken. Although on the plus side - I'm saving a ton of money. Also, it's faster - I just have to stick to the front of the store - or the fresh veggies, meat and fish and nuts sections. And I'm done.
Learning a lot about eating...and our spiritual and emotional relationships with food.
There are certain food triggers - food that triggers a binge in certain people. Yes, food can be as addictive as drugs. Not for everyone perhaps, but some. Just like smoking and alcohol aren't addictive for everyone.
A food trigger makes you hungrier. Want to eat more and more of whatever it is. You have one piece and that's just not enough. Also, some foods that experts don't believe are triggers or can prevent triggers, are in fact - triggers for some people.
Example? Dark Chocolate. My grandfather was addicted to chocolate. He couldn't just have one piece. He used to eat bakers chocolate - and a lot of it. I'm similar - it's not just the sugar I crave, but the caffeine. I can't have one cup of coffee. In college - I'd drink 5-6 cups in a morning, then at night have a chocolate mocha milkshake - until I went cold turkey and gave it up.
A food or drink trigger - is when you look at the food as an award. I will award myself with this little treat or this drink. And I'll just have one. But in reality, just having one isn't enough. You aren't satisfied, and suddenly you are eating the entire box. You aren't hungry. It has nothing to do with hunger. It has to do with an emotional need, a desire, that you want to satisfy. The food or drink makes you feel "good". But only for a short period of time. So to feel good again, you want more. It's a lot like cocaine or heroine.
Common food triggers are carbs such as french fries, potato chips, breads, pastas, fried chicken, bacon, saturated fats...And sugars...which provide endorphins and memory storage - such as candy bars, ice cream, various desserts.
But..not everyone has the same triggers. The danger, I believe, is in the assumption that everyone reacts in the same way. We don't. It is not a one size fits all world. This concept, I think, is a hard one for the medical and scientific profession to wrap its collective head around. Mainly because it goes against the grain of what has been taught. Deductive reasoning teaches - if X equals Y today, then X will always equal Y. But in reality there is no such thing. Some days, X very well may equal W or nothing at all. Nature does not always comply with human logic, in fact, often it doesn't.
I'm learning to be aware of how my body reacts to food, what triggers me, and what doesn't.
But that's on the diet side.
The weirdest thing has happened during this process...which is hard to articulate, without it sounding a wee bit wackadoodle? (I like the word wackadoodle. I've no idea where I picked it up from. I don't think I made it up although it is altogether possible.) Anyhow...the weird thing is I'm finding that I no longer internalize criticism. That I tend to process it, agree or disagree, and often just shrug it off. If it is something that I can change or correct, or will aid me, I take it under consideration. If however, it's just someone else's junk being thrown as a projectile in my general direction, I have learned to well, duck.
Also, another odd thing - things don't bother me as much. Nor for that matter does stress.
I find myself thinking, well it will all turn out for the best. Or, I can't really control that so why waste time thinking or worrying about it?
Like, I said, it's the oddest thing. And it feels wonderful...to no longer have that weight on my shoulders. To no longer feel that overwhelming sense of frustration and anger. To not rage over every little thing, or worry about whether people will respond favorably to what I post or say. To be able to just shrug it off.
I can't begin to describe...what it is like to not feel those things any longer. Oh, I still feel them from time to time, but not with quite the same intensity. To not feel the raising anxiety...or the rage...or that bone-crippling depression.
I've learned a lot of those feelings - the rage, the fear, the anxiety were emanating from my liver - or the liver meridian - which is the gall bladder, liver, intestines, and nerves running through them up to the brain. The liver governs emotions such as fear, rage and anxiety. It's detoxed and is now healing...so all of that is clearing up. That's part of the reason - I'm starting to feel better.
Co-worker 1: It's more than just the weight, you look amazing. It's chemical. Your skin is different. And it's almost as if you have a glow? It's as if you are a completely different person. And I never noticed before how incredibly pretty you are. Whatever you've been doing - keep up the good work. [Weirdly, I was not feeling all that great when she told me this, having digestive issues - but nothing serious. Just ate one too many nuts - I find that I've been using nuts to deal with food cravings.]
Co-worker 2: God, you're so skinny, I'm so jealous of you. [It's probably worth mentioning, that I've not lost any weight since the 40-46 pounds. And technically speaking - I'm still a good 15-20 pounds away from my medically approved weight/BMI and my goal.]
So...this does help provide incentive to continue doing the diet and the therapy. It isn't easy. Can't eat 75% of the stuff at Whole Foods. None of the prepared stuff - except for the roitsseri chicken. Although on the plus side - I'm saving a ton of money. Also, it's faster - I just have to stick to the front of the store - or the fresh veggies, meat and fish and nuts sections. And I'm done.
Learning a lot about eating...and our spiritual and emotional relationships with food.
There are certain food triggers - food that triggers a binge in certain people. Yes, food can be as addictive as drugs. Not for everyone perhaps, but some. Just like smoking and alcohol aren't addictive for everyone.
A food trigger makes you hungrier. Want to eat more and more of whatever it is. You have one piece and that's just not enough. Also, some foods that experts don't believe are triggers or can prevent triggers, are in fact - triggers for some people.
Example? Dark Chocolate. My grandfather was addicted to chocolate. He couldn't just have one piece. He used to eat bakers chocolate - and a lot of it. I'm similar - it's not just the sugar I crave, but the caffeine. I can't have one cup of coffee. In college - I'd drink 5-6 cups in a morning, then at night have a chocolate mocha milkshake - until I went cold turkey and gave it up.
A food or drink trigger - is when you look at the food as an award. I will award myself with this little treat or this drink. And I'll just have one. But in reality, just having one isn't enough. You aren't satisfied, and suddenly you are eating the entire box. You aren't hungry. It has nothing to do with hunger. It has to do with an emotional need, a desire, that you want to satisfy. The food or drink makes you feel "good". But only for a short period of time. So to feel good again, you want more. It's a lot like cocaine or heroine.
Common food triggers are carbs such as french fries, potato chips, breads, pastas, fried chicken, bacon, saturated fats...And sugars...which provide endorphins and memory storage - such as candy bars, ice cream, various desserts.
But..not everyone has the same triggers. The danger, I believe, is in the assumption that everyone reacts in the same way. We don't. It is not a one size fits all world. This concept, I think, is a hard one for the medical and scientific profession to wrap its collective head around. Mainly because it goes against the grain of what has been taught. Deductive reasoning teaches - if X equals Y today, then X will always equal Y. But in reality there is no such thing. Some days, X very well may equal W or nothing at all. Nature does not always comply with human logic, in fact, often it doesn't.
I'm learning to be aware of how my body reacts to food, what triggers me, and what doesn't.
But that's on the diet side.
The weirdest thing has happened during this process...which is hard to articulate, without it sounding a wee bit wackadoodle? (I like the word wackadoodle. I've no idea where I picked it up from. I don't think I made it up although it is altogether possible.) Anyhow...the weird thing is I'm finding that I no longer internalize criticism. That I tend to process it, agree or disagree, and often just shrug it off. If it is something that I can change or correct, or will aid me, I take it under consideration. If however, it's just someone else's junk being thrown as a projectile in my general direction, I have learned to well, duck.
Also, another odd thing - things don't bother me as much. Nor for that matter does stress.
I find myself thinking, well it will all turn out for the best. Or, I can't really control that so why waste time thinking or worrying about it?
Like, I said, it's the oddest thing. And it feels wonderful...to no longer have that weight on my shoulders. To no longer feel that overwhelming sense of frustration and anger. To not rage over every little thing, or worry about whether people will respond favorably to what I post or say. To be able to just shrug it off.
I can't begin to describe...what it is like to not feel those things any longer. Oh, I still feel them from time to time, but not with quite the same intensity. To not feel the raising anxiety...or the rage...or that bone-crippling depression.
I've learned a lot of those feelings - the rage, the fear, the anxiety were emanating from my liver - or the liver meridian - which is the gall bladder, liver, intestines, and nerves running through them up to the brain. The liver governs emotions such as fear, rage and anxiety. It's detoxed and is now healing...so all of that is clearing up. That's part of the reason - I'm starting to feel better.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2014-02-02 01:29 am (UTC)The only problem is the association with social events. Still struggling a little with socialization and food. And well, I'm a foodie, I adore trying different foods...so there is that. But it is getting easier.
And I figure after about 12-24 months, I can have some of the stuff I've gone off of, again.