Bad Television, Bad...
Sep. 25th, 2018 09:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkat1. New Television Series tried so far and...well...
* I Feel Bad
I feel bad for not sticking with this show for more than five minutes..no, wait, I really don't.
The critics said it was two shows, one a watchable family sitcom, and one an unwatchable workplace comedy. I didn't make it five minutes into the family sitcom.
This will be gone in a month. Or retooled. One or the other.
* Magnum P.I.
Well, I can't say I wasn't warned by the bad reviews. Except the critics made it further than I did...my suspension of disbelief was sort of blown sky-high when Magnum played by Jay Hernandez, jumps out of a spaceship, in a space-suite to parachute into North Korea and save a family. Uhm, first of all...it is physically impossible to parachute in a space-suite from outer-space. You'd burn on re-entry. Not to mention radiation. And the inability to direct your gravitational jump to the surface. It's not like this information isn't available to writers out there. Come on.
But I might have been able to hand-wave, if the lead had any charisma. He doesn't. Tom Sellack, he's not. (Not that I ever was much of a fan of Sellack or the series, but it did have a certain charm that is completely missing from the first five minutes of the reboot.)
Yes, there's so many television series on nowadays that if something doesn't grab me within the first five to ten minutes? I delete.
I'm willing to predict that this will be gone in a month or two as well.
2. Dancing with the Stars
I got curious and tuned in to see who the constestants were this go around. And uhm...we only have about five out of the ten or fifteen that are worth watching. It's not a good season.
- Mary Lou Retton (how old is she anyhow? She looks older than I am...although makeup helps). She can sort of dance. Considering she was a gymnast -- but it was a VERY long time ago, not surprising.
- Nancy McKeon -- Jo from Facts of Life. You know the character that was dating a young George Clooney in the 1980s? She looks like I do. This is reassuring. She can't dance though. Stiff.
- Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter...I kid you not. And no, she can't dance, but she's better than McKeon.
- Pablo from Fuller House (I don't watch this, I didn't watch the first version), and Mamma Mia. He can dance. Hardly surprising considering he danced in Mamma Mia.
- Bobby Bones (?) -- some radio disc jockey, who can also dance. As the judges described him, rather accurately, I thought, as a combination of Jerry Lee Lewis on a lot of caffeine and Sheldon.
- Tinasha -- a singer/dancer who has toured with various pop stars. She can dance (well, I'd hope so, considering it's what she sort of does for a living).
- John Schneider (from Dukes of Hazard, which I also never watched. I'm not a fan of dumb character slapstick/parody comedies, which unfortunately makes up about 67% of American Comedy. But I've liked the actor/singer in other things). He can't really dance either.
- Joe the Grocery Guy from The Bachelorette (which I guess means something if you watch The Bachelor or the Bachelorette...personally, I'd rather have someone stick needles in my eyes. But I know people who love those shows.) He can't dance, and will be gone within the week. Boring. No charisma. Worst of the bunch.
- Some female comedian that I've never heard of...and she can dance better than Schneider, Mckeon and Luna Lovegood.
- A social media influencer and swimsuit model. (Okay, a swimsuit model can influence people on social media? What people? That's just....well...it does say a lot about the current state of our society, doesn't it? And nothing good. Folks you know you've sunk to a brand new low if you are following and being influenced by a swimsuit model on Twitter. On the other hand, it also says something about Dancing with the Stars...they are really scraping the bottom of the barrel here, aren't they? They went from daytime soap opera actors to well, models on Facebook and Snapchat and Instagram.) She's not bad, but she's not that good either. She'll be out in a few weeks. Tinasha did the same dance she did and wiped the floor with her. She's boring.
-- A retired NFL Football player who is in frigging great shape and in his thirties or forties. This guy can dance -- which is hardly surprising considering he's a football player and former running back/quarterback. Football is basically either dancing around people with the ball, or ramming into folks. You need to know how to dance to get anywhere in Football. (The only thing I appreciate about football is the strategic dance moves they use to avoid being collided with while carring the ball.)
--- Blind Professional Alpine Skier...who has never danced before. She didn't really look blind to me, so, I'm wondering if she's just partially blind? (shrugs). She can't dance either -- surprise, surprise.
--- Zombie Kid ( Teen Disney Television Movie Star -- from I Was a Teenage Zombie movie (he played the zombie) ) -- who I've never heard of. But I guess Teens have? His partner had never heard of him either and was struck by the fact that he was the same age as her younger brother, seventeen. He wasn't bad -- but he was also on a singing and dancing Disney musical.
Tinasha, Pablo, Bobby Bones, and the Football player got the highest scores. With Mary Lou Retton, the zombie Teen and the comedian with potential staying power.
I don't think I'll stick with it. Found most of it to be head-ache inducing. Outside of The Great British Baking Show/Bake Off, the appeal of reality shows is largely wasted on me. Will state that some of the contestant selections were rather absurd and possibly intentionally humorous as a result.
3. Soap Opera
Spoiler Board Moderator: They'll catch Sonny because his fingerprints are on the gun.
Me: Not on a gun that has been buried for twenty-five years -- the elements will have washed off the fingerprints. Not to mention all the people who've handled it in the interim. There's no way they can get fingerprints off that gun.
Moderator: We all know that doesn't matter, if it's storyline dictated.
Sigh. I may have to give up on the soap opera. Even I have limits. My mother and I have decided to just continue to fast-forward over certain storylines.
* I Feel Bad
I feel bad for not sticking with this show for more than five minutes..no, wait, I really don't.
The critics said it was two shows, one a watchable family sitcom, and one an unwatchable workplace comedy. I didn't make it five minutes into the family sitcom.
This will be gone in a month. Or retooled. One or the other.
* Magnum P.I.
Well, I can't say I wasn't warned by the bad reviews. Except the critics made it further than I did...my suspension of disbelief was sort of blown sky-high when Magnum played by Jay Hernandez, jumps out of a spaceship, in a space-suite to parachute into North Korea and save a family. Uhm, first of all...it is physically impossible to parachute in a space-suite from outer-space. You'd burn on re-entry. Not to mention radiation. And the inability to direct your gravitational jump to the surface. It's not like this information isn't available to writers out there. Come on.
But I might have been able to hand-wave, if the lead had any charisma. He doesn't. Tom Sellack, he's not. (Not that I ever was much of a fan of Sellack or the series, but it did have a certain charm that is completely missing from the first five minutes of the reboot.)
Yes, there's so many television series on nowadays that if something doesn't grab me within the first five to ten minutes? I delete.
I'm willing to predict that this will be gone in a month or two as well.
2. Dancing with the Stars
I got curious and tuned in to see who the constestants were this go around. And uhm...we only have about five out of the ten or fifteen that are worth watching. It's not a good season.
- Mary Lou Retton (how old is she anyhow? She looks older than I am...although makeup helps). She can sort of dance. Considering she was a gymnast -- but it was a VERY long time ago, not surprising.
- Nancy McKeon -- Jo from Facts of Life. You know the character that was dating a young George Clooney in the 1980s? She looks like I do. This is reassuring. She can't dance though. Stiff.
- Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter...I kid you not. And no, she can't dance, but she's better than McKeon.
- Pablo from Fuller House (I don't watch this, I didn't watch the first version), and Mamma Mia. He can dance. Hardly surprising considering he danced in Mamma Mia.
- Bobby Bones (?) -- some radio disc jockey, who can also dance. As the judges described him, rather accurately, I thought, as a combination of Jerry Lee Lewis on a lot of caffeine and Sheldon.
- Tinasha -- a singer/dancer who has toured with various pop stars. She can dance (well, I'd hope so, considering it's what she sort of does for a living).
- John Schneider (from Dukes of Hazard, which I also never watched. I'm not a fan of dumb character slapstick/parody comedies, which unfortunately makes up about 67% of American Comedy. But I've liked the actor/singer in other things). He can't really dance either.
- Joe the Grocery Guy from The Bachelorette (which I guess means something if you watch The Bachelor or the Bachelorette...personally, I'd rather have someone stick needles in my eyes. But I know people who love those shows.) He can't dance, and will be gone within the week. Boring. No charisma. Worst of the bunch.
- Some female comedian that I've never heard of...and she can dance better than Schneider, Mckeon and Luna Lovegood.
- A social media influencer and swimsuit model. (Okay, a swimsuit model can influence people on social media? What people? That's just....well...it does say a lot about the current state of our society, doesn't it? And nothing good. Folks you know you've sunk to a brand new low if you are following and being influenced by a swimsuit model on Twitter. On the other hand, it also says something about Dancing with the Stars...they are really scraping the bottom of the barrel here, aren't they? They went from daytime soap opera actors to well, models on Facebook and Snapchat and Instagram.) She's not bad, but she's not that good either. She'll be out in a few weeks. Tinasha did the same dance she did and wiped the floor with her. She's boring.
-- A retired NFL Football player who is in frigging great shape and in his thirties or forties. This guy can dance -- which is hardly surprising considering he's a football player and former running back/quarterback. Football is basically either dancing around people with the ball, or ramming into folks. You need to know how to dance to get anywhere in Football. (The only thing I appreciate about football is the strategic dance moves they use to avoid being collided with while carring the ball.)
--- Blind Professional Alpine Skier...who has never danced before. She didn't really look blind to me, so, I'm wondering if she's just partially blind? (shrugs). She can't dance either -- surprise, surprise.
--- Zombie Kid ( Teen Disney Television Movie Star -- from I Was a Teenage Zombie movie (he played the zombie) ) -- who I've never heard of. But I guess Teens have? His partner had never heard of him either and was struck by the fact that he was the same age as her younger brother, seventeen. He wasn't bad -- but he was also on a singing and dancing Disney musical.
Tinasha, Pablo, Bobby Bones, and the Football player got the highest scores. With Mary Lou Retton, the zombie Teen and the comedian with potential staying power.
I don't think I'll stick with it. Found most of it to be head-ache inducing. Outside of The Great British Baking Show/Bake Off, the appeal of reality shows is largely wasted on me. Will state that some of the contestant selections were rather absurd and possibly intentionally humorous as a result.
3. Soap Opera
Spoiler Board Moderator: They'll catch Sonny because his fingerprints are on the gun.
Me: Not on a gun that has been buried for twenty-five years -- the elements will have washed off the fingerprints. Not to mention all the people who've handled it in the interim. There's no way they can get fingerprints off that gun.
Moderator: We all know that doesn't matter, if it's storyline dictated.
Sigh. I may have to give up on the soap opera. Even I have limits. My mother and I have decided to just continue to fast-forward over certain storylines.
no subject
Date: 2018-09-26 02:58 am (UTC)I haven't really watched much DWTS in a while. With no slight on it. It's just not a show for me.
Indeed, Football players are almost always very good on this show. Because they are athletic, because of the specific type of improvisational nimbleness the sport requires, and because most of them are used to taking (1) instruction and very specifically instruction about footwork.
no subject
Date: 2018-09-26 04:58 pm (UTC)Mary Lou Retton is 50. She was an olympic gymnast in 1984. But Olympic Gymansts were always very young. Nikki Glaser is the comic - and her comedy style is very much a matter of taste. She's good at what she does, if what she does is what you like.
I was guessing she had to be about my age. (In 1984, she'd have been about 16. Most female Olympic gymnasts are 12-17).
I have to admit I'm not up on stand up comedians. (Last one I saw was the Australian who basically turned stand-up comedy upside down and sideways.)
Indeed, Football players are almost always very good on this show. Because they are athletic, because of the specific type of improvisational nimbleness the sport requires, and because most of them are used to taking (1) instruction and very specifically instruction about footwork.
Yep, of all the professional (non-dance specific) sports..Football, and possibly soccer are the most likely to fit with dancing.
(Ice skating, figure skating, and gymnastics tend to be rather dance oriented to begin with. Although less so gymnastics.)