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shadowkat1. ) Meditation is teaching me how to let go of things...it's very helpful. When I was younger, my mother used to complain about her older sister, Audrey. Audrey always had to have the last word in every argument they had. If she got the last word she won. But most arguments are unwinnable. Why? Because people aren't interested in the other person's perspective so much as validating their own. That connection is what we hunt for -- we want people to agree or be on our wavelength. In argument, they aren't. And it becomes frustrating. A creative writing teacher once told me that all conversation was jockeying for position. I feel that way at times when I talk with folks or my mother - as if we jumping over each others words to get to what we each want to talk about. It works best when we're on the same wavelength and wish to discuss the same thing. If all she wants to do is tell me stuff - and all I want to do is tell her stuff - it becomes an exercise in frustration. In order to have any type of discourse, the first requirement is to listen. And I'm beginning to think it is so much harder to "listen" really "listen" than it is to talk. I know it is harder to read than to write, which is an odd thing to say now that I think on it. But it is. And to read well, you have to do it without thinking. To listen well, you have to stop thinking first.
There should be nothing else in your head but the words and pictures or thoughts they convey. But I think the human brain takes what it hears or sees and changes it somehow to fit with the thoughts inside. Making it really hard sometimes to hear what the other person is saying. I think also there's a tendency for the mind to apply judgement, criticism, without hearing. I misunderstand so much...by letting my thoughts get in the way of what I'm seeing and hearing.
2. Conversations with my mother:
Mother: Your uncle regaled us with this horrible journey back from Tuscon.
Me: Did he drive -
Mother: No - train trip. It was horrible. He swore never to take another train again. Someone put luggage in one compartment -
Me: He took a train from Tuscon? I didn't that was possible -
Mother: It's not. They took it from California. Anyway, he's decided never to leave Washington state because the train was so -
Me: Hold on a minute. Why not just fly?
Mother: His wife despises flying.
Me: Did they drive to Tuscon and to California?
Mother: No, his wife hates driving and your uncle can only see out of one eye -- so he can't drive. They took this train instead -
Me: How'd they get to California?
Mother: They flew.
Me: How'd they get around Tuscon?
Mother (annoyed with me): I don't know, your uncle drove.
Me: With only one eye -
Mother: He complained about the train ride -
Me: How can he drive around Tuscon with only one eye, isn't that kind of dangerous?
Mother: I don't know. His wife doesn't like to drive. I think he managed it.
Me: But wouldn't it make more sense for her to drive -
Mother: Look, I just know about the train. It was something about having to lie on the cots because no place to sit, because someone had left all their luggage in the compartment and never came back for it. And luggage took up their other compartment.
Me: Didn't they have a ticket for the other compartment -
Mother: I think they lost it.
Me: How they'd lose it?
Mother: I don't know. This was all told by your uncle to your father who told me.
Me: Oh god. So you're getting all this from my father? No wonder it's confusing.
__
Mother: Talked to your brother, seems your sisterinlaw had to drive to Schentacdy, NY to get roller skates.
ME: There weren't any closer than that? I mean I know it kind of went out of fashion in the 1990s.
Mother: No. They went to a place that they thought did, it had a sign about being a roller rink and everything. But now they just trade and sell guns.
Me: Wait a minute -- it said it was a roller rink and now it just sells guns?
Mother : yup.
Me: Okay, that's really upsetting not to mention disturbing.
Mother: Pretty much how they felt about it.
Me: We were raised to hate guns.
Mother: I don't know, my father had a shotgun and your uncles did. But no, I don't like guns either.
Sigh.
I mean I get that we're in a gun obsessed culture. But it's really sad that a roller rink is changed into a gun auction house...what does that say about us as a species or race? Nothing good.
2. I watched two interesting films tonight. Ford vs. Ferrari which made me angry at humanity, and Harriet which gave me up and I found uplifting. This surprised me. I was expecting the opposite. Both are very well made films on multiple levels. And stuck with me after I saw them. I find myself rewinding at various points to get the words and scene.
The cinematography and camera angles in "Ford vs. Ferrari" are at times a work of beauty. Whoever is doing it -- goes out of their way to capture the experience of being behind the wheel of a fast moving car, and the love of cars that the two men in the film experience. The film is mainly about British race car driver Ken Miles' friendship with American race care driver and sports car designer Carrol Shelby.
It is also about the individual dreamer against the Corporate beast -- very American theme that. The villain in "Ford vs. Ferrari" is oddly "Ford" - who employs the men to put itself on the map. And the salesmen and marketing men who run it. At the end of the film, I was pleased that I never owned or bought a Ford in my lifetime. (Honda all the way. Ford didn't build good cars in the 1980s or 90s, they don't really now either.) It's more a character study in a way than a story about cars. And it does pull me inside a world I know very little about. There's a great scene between Miles and his wife Molly - in a speeding Volkswagon - that she is driving. They are having an argument. He keeps evading her questions, so she keeps increasing the speed of the car until he does. The filming of that, not to mention the dialogue and acting is a work of beauty.
In Ford vs. Ferrari though - all the characters are very selfish. They put their own dreams and desires above all else. It's all about their egos. Ford hires former race car driver and race car maker, Shelby to make race cars after their pitch to buy Ferrari fails. Fiat beats their price. And Ferrari basically insults them. To save face, and show Ferrari who is boss, Lee Iacco and Leo Beebe suggest Ford go into the race car business. But of course they have to run it. Miles is a race car driver that wins the lower level races but can't get a car manufacturer like Porsche or Ferrari to hire him because he's difficult. He wants everything his own way, and has a huge ego. He's right they are wrong. He's likable - and even funny, as played by Christian Bale, who is once again almost unrecognizable in the role. (I thought his face looked a lot like my brother's actually and I never thought that before in regards to Christian Bale.) But as much as his wife and child adore him, it's rather obvious that he puts his racing first. It's what he was made to do the story tells us. And it is how he dies - tragically test driving a race car.
Shelby is no better. It's all about the cars for Shelby. He doesn't really concern himself too much about putting his friend in danger. And when he almost loses him, is actually more upset about the suits or Ford, and convincing them to keep his friend behind the wheel. And I was rooting for him to do so. Miles loved being behind the wheel of the race car. When Miles does, Shelby struggles -- but there's little he can say or do.
Throughout the film - I found myself thinking this looks like a lot of fun, but it is also extremely dangerous and anxiety inducing. Shelby had to stop and takes heart medication. Miles died. And for what? Validating an ego? It all seemed so pointless. I looked up various characters afterwards, and noted Leo Beebe who did very little for the world outside of run a bunch of car factories -- died of pancreatic cancer. He's the villain in the film. And that Miles' son is still alive. But if it weren't for this film, I'd not know any of it. And most likely will forget it in a few months.
Harriet in stark contrast is the story of Harriet Tubman who saved over 70 slaves on the underground railroad, the most of anyone, and over 750 during the Civil War, where she was a Union Spy and Officer, and the first woman to expediate a military campaign.
This film is also in many ways a work of beauty, interspersed with songs sung by its lead Cynthia Orvio, who has an amazing voice and presence. It may well be the best biopic that I've seen. What it does differently is focus on a specific period in the character's life and her actions during that period. Admittedly the material is far better than what we get with rock stars and musicians. I mean it's not even on the same scale - saving slaves and fighting the snake that is slavery vs. putting together an album or doing a lounge act, while you whine incessantly about being lonely and no one loving you, and taking lots of drugs to make yourself feel better about it. That may well be the problem with most bio-pics - they are about narcissists or people who did things to get attention, fame, applause and awards. Maybe we should be making more biopics about historical figures who saved lives?
I don't know.
It's very uplifting, unlike previous stories about slavery -- we don't spend a lot of time immersed in the pain of it. We're shown just enough to know -- but the film pretty much assumes we know how horrible it was. Instead the focus is on how Harriet escapes and how she saves so many others. Touched by God, we're told. The film has a religious undertone. Tubman says towards the end of the film, "God did not intend for people to be owned by people."
Also, unlike previous stories I've seen on slavery, the focus is on the black characters and almost all of the cast is black. While there are a few good guys who are white, the majority of the white characters are the villains here, and there is one black man villain who assists them.
I loved the film. I found it up-lifting and hopeful. Also cathartic. And, it featured a very strong woman in the lead role. A woman who put others before herself. After escaping from Maryland to Pennsylvania, Tubman chooses to go back to bring her husband back with her. Only to discover that he's remarried and has a child on the way. (Her husband is a free man and he marries a free woman. Harriet had to escape, because she wasn't free and was being sold down-river.) So, instead of just going home -- she ends up saving nine people. And gaining a helper along the way. And she keeps going back and doing it again and again. She saves most of her family as a result. When the Fugitive Slave Act is passed by Congress - she takes them all the way up to Canada. And when they go to war, she goes with them. Tubman was an activist her entire life -- involved heavily in the woman's suffrage movement. This movie reminded me of why she was one of my heroes as a child. It also showed the insane selfishness that is slavery.
While I recommend Ford vs. Ferrari with reservations, I wholeheartedly recommend Harriet. Harriet is a film that is worth seeing. It made me hopeful and reminded me that as a species we've been through far worse than what we are going through now.
There should be nothing else in your head but the words and pictures or thoughts they convey. But I think the human brain takes what it hears or sees and changes it somehow to fit with the thoughts inside. Making it really hard sometimes to hear what the other person is saying. I think also there's a tendency for the mind to apply judgement, criticism, without hearing. I misunderstand so much...by letting my thoughts get in the way of what I'm seeing and hearing.
2. Conversations with my mother:
Mother: Your uncle regaled us with this horrible journey back from Tuscon.
Me: Did he drive -
Mother: No - train trip. It was horrible. He swore never to take another train again. Someone put luggage in one compartment -
Me: He took a train from Tuscon? I didn't that was possible -
Mother: It's not. They took it from California. Anyway, he's decided never to leave Washington state because the train was so -
Me: Hold on a minute. Why not just fly?
Mother: His wife despises flying.
Me: Did they drive to Tuscon and to California?
Mother: No, his wife hates driving and your uncle can only see out of one eye -- so he can't drive. They took this train instead -
Me: How'd they get to California?
Mother: They flew.
Me: How'd they get around Tuscon?
Mother (annoyed with me): I don't know, your uncle drove.
Me: With only one eye -
Mother: He complained about the train ride -
Me: How can he drive around Tuscon with only one eye, isn't that kind of dangerous?
Mother: I don't know. His wife doesn't like to drive. I think he managed it.
Me: But wouldn't it make more sense for her to drive -
Mother: Look, I just know about the train. It was something about having to lie on the cots because no place to sit, because someone had left all their luggage in the compartment and never came back for it. And luggage took up their other compartment.
Me: Didn't they have a ticket for the other compartment -
Mother: I think they lost it.
Me: How they'd lose it?
Mother: I don't know. This was all told by your uncle to your father who told me.
Me: Oh god. So you're getting all this from my father? No wonder it's confusing.
__
Mother: Talked to your brother, seems your sisterinlaw had to drive to Schentacdy, NY to get roller skates.
ME: There weren't any closer than that? I mean I know it kind of went out of fashion in the 1990s.
Mother: No. They went to a place that they thought did, it had a sign about being a roller rink and everything. But now they just trade and sell guns.
Me: Wait a minute -- it said it was a roller rink and now it just sells guns?
Mother : yup.
Me: Okay, that's really upsetting not to mention disturbing.
Mother: Pretty much how they felt about it.
Me: We were raised to hate guns.
Mother: I don't know, my father had a shotgun and your uncles did. But no, I don't like guns either.
Sigh.
I mean I get that we're in a gun obsessed culture. But it's really sad that a roller rink is changed into a gun auction house...what does that say about us as a species or race? Nothing good.
2. I watched two interesting films tonight. Ford vs. Ferrari which made me angry at humanity, and Harriet which gave me up and I found uplifting. This surprised me. I was expecting the opposite. Both are very well made films on multiple levels. And stuck with me after I saw them. I find myself rewinding at various points to get the words and scene.
The cinematography and camera angles in "Ford vs. Ferrari" are at times a work of beauty. Whoever is doing it -- goes out of their way to capture the experience of being behind the wheel of a fast moving car, and the love of cars that the two men in the film experience. The film is mainly about British race car driver Ken Miles' friendship with American race care driver and sports car designer Carrol Shelby.
It is also about the individual dreamer against the Corporate beast -- very American theme that. The villain in "Ford vs. Ferrari" is oddly "Ford" - who employs the men to put itself on the map. And the salesmen and marketing men who run it. At the end of the film, I was pleased that I never owned or bought a Ford in my lifetime. (Honda all the way. Ford didn't build good cars in the 1980s or 90s, they don't really now either.) It's more a character study in a way than a story about cars. And it does pull me inside a world I know very little about. There's a great scene between Miles and his wife Molly - in a speeding Volkswagon - that she is driving. They are having an argument. He keeps evading her questions, so she keeps increasing the speed of the car until he does. The filming of that, not to mention the dialogue and acting is a work of beauty.
In Ford vs. Ferrari though - all the characters are very selfish. They put their own dreams and desires above all else. It's all about their egos. Ford hires former race car driver and race car maker, Shelby to make race cars after their pitch to buy Ferrari fails. Fiat beats their price. And Ferrari basically insults them. To save face, and show Ferrari who is boss, Lee Iacco and Leo Beebe suggest Ford go into the race car business. But of course they have to run it. Miles is a race car driver that wins the lower level races but can't get a car manufacturer like Porsche or Ferrari to hire him because he's difficult. He wants everything his own way, and has a huge ego. He's right they are wrong. He's likable - and even funny, as played by Christian Bale, who is once again almost unrecognizable in the role. (I thought his face looked a lot like my brother's actually and I never thought that before in regards to Christian Bale.) But as much as his wife and child adore him, it's rather obvious that he puts his racing first. It's what he was made to do the story tells us. And it is how he dies - tragically test driving a race car.
Shelby is no better. It's all about the cars for Shelby. He doesn't really concern himself too much about putting his friend in danger. And when he almost loses him, is actually more upset about the suits or Ford, and convincing them to keep his friend behind the wheel. And I was rooting for him to do so. Miles loved being behind the wheel of the race car. When Miles does, Shelby struggles -- but there's little he can say or do.
Throughout the film - I found myself thinking this looks like a lot of fun, but it is also extremely dangerous and anxiety inducing. Shelby had to stop and takes heart medication. Miles died. And for what? Validating an ego? It all seemed so pointless. I looked up various characters afterwards, and noted Leo Beebe who did very little for the world outside of run a bunch of car factories -- died of pancreatic cancer. He's the villain in the film. And that Miles' son is still alive. But if it weren't for this film, I'd not know any of it. And most likely will forget it in a few months.
Harriet in stark contrast is the story of Harriet Tubman who saved over 70 slaves on the underground railroad, the most of anyone, and over 750 during the Civil War, where she was a Union Spy and Officer, and the first woman to expediate a military campaign.
This film is also in many ways a work of beauty, interspersed with songs sung by its lead Cynthia Orvio, who has an amazing voice and presence. It may well be the best biopic that I've seen. What it does differently is focus on a specific period in the character's life and her actions during that period. Admittedly the material is far better than what we get with rock stars and musicians. I mean it's not even on the same scale - saving slaves and fighting the snake that is slavery vs. putting together an album or doing a lounge act, while you whine incessantly about being lonely and no one loving you, and taking lots of drugs to make yourself feel better about it. That may well be the problem with most bio-pics - they are about narcissists or people who did things to get attention, fame, applause and awards. Maybe we should be making more biopics about historical figures who saved lives?
I don't know.
It's very uplifting, unlike previous stories about slavery -- we don't spend a lot of time immersed in the pain of it. We're shown just enough to know -- but the film pretty much assumes we know how horrible it was. Instead the focus is on how Harriet escapes and how she saves so many others. Touched by God, we're told. The film has a religious undertone. Tubman says towards the end of the film, "God did not intend for people to be owned by people."
Also, unlike previous stories I've seen on slavery, the focus is on the black characters and almost all of the cast is black. While there are a few good guys who are white, the majority of the white characters are the villains here, and there is one black man villain who assists them.
I loved the film. I found it up-lifting and hopeful. Also cathartic. And, it featured a very strong woman in the lead role. A woman who put others before herself. After escaping from Maryland to Pennsylvania, Tubman chooses to go back to bring her husband back with her. Only to discover that he's remarried and has a child on the way. (Her husband is a free man and he marries a free woman. Harriet had to escape, because she wasn't free and was being sold down-river.) So, instead of just going home -- she ends up saving nine people. And gaining a helper along the way. And she keeps going back and doing it again and again. She saves most of her family as a result. When the Fugitive Slave Act is passed by Congress - she takes them all the way up to Canada. And when they go to war, she goes with them. Tubman was an activist her entire life -- involved heavily in the woman's suffrage movement. This movie reminded me of why she was one of my heroes as a child. It also showed the insane selfishness that is slavery.
While I recommend Ford vs. Ferrari with reservations, I wholeheartedly recommend Harriet. Harriet is a film that is worth seeing. It made me hopeful and reminded me that as a species we've been through far worse than what we are going through now.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-23 02:55 pm (UTC)Europeans wonder why Americans gave up on passenger trains in the 1950's. Once cars were reliable enough, taking the train was just a hassle. The distances here are so great there never was a steady stream of trains going where you wanted to go. If you lived in a big city you might leave at a decent time and arrive at 2:00 in the morning. If you were going a long way across the country you had to change trains, because no company owned tracks beyond either St. Louis, Kansas City and Chicago in either direction. Getting on a plane you could fly straight to Dallas from New York, on trains you had to choose where you were going to change trains, perhaps waiting for hours or even over night in the Midwest.
Now Amtrak doesn't go everywhere, you can't leave any day you want, let alone choose morning, afternoon or night. If the train breaks down before you get on, instead of getting you another plane, you may be just stuck or they may stick you on a long bus ride. People who love trains put up with it. The rest of us wonder why they love it.
...
I was interested in formula-one racing as a kid because my older brother was. I lost interest in it when I was in high school and my brother was running around in his first sports car. It was fun to ride with him now and then with the top down. But over all it was just another car and I was kind of bored with cars in general. My father eventually bought a used car for me to use, because I didn't really have an interest in buying a car for myself. By that time I had no more idea who was who in formula-one racing than I did in Egyptian camel racing.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-23 03:11 pm (UTC)I don't know if that affects your comment any or not, though.
I've only used trains on the East Coast. OR the Northeast from DC to Boston, and in the NYC area. In NYC - they are actually far better than cars and faster and more reliable. But that's because there are over 12 million in NYC and 85,000 commuting daily. There's just not enough room for 85,000 cars. When Hurricane Sandy hit -- and they had to shut-down all the trains, no one could get gas or get off Long Island or go anywhere. Grid-lock. We have grid-lock all the time here. A subway may take thirty-five to forty-five minutes, while in a cab it will take two hours for the same distance.
Train travel in NYC isn't comparable to well, everywhere you've lived. I know I've been to those places - the only way to get around in Kansas, Missouri, Arizona, California, etc is really by car, bus and possibly plane. Trains are useless past the East Coast. People take them, but most of us steer clear.
You might want to check out Ford vs. Ferrari - I think it takes place in the 1970s. There's a very young Lee Iacco.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-23 03:34 pm (UTC)Yep, trains work well between Washington and Boston. South of DC and West of Philadelphia not so much.
Me: How'd they get to California?
Mother: They flew.
Was your mom confused or you? ;o)
no subject
Date: 2020-02-23 05:10 pm (UTC)Trains work best on the coasts. Which is why they took it from California to Seattle Washington, because beautiful view.
In my conversation with my mother - she wanted to talk about the train but didn't lead up to it. All she wanted to tell me - was that my uncle had a horrific journey by train. I wanted to know what he was doing taking a train trip. At first it sounded like he took it from Tuscon to Seattle. Then from Tuscon to California. But no, it was from California to Seattle.
They flew from Seattle to Tuscon. Then on the way back flew from Tuscon to California, visited family, and took the train from California to Seattle.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-23 03:48 pm (UTC)Cynthia Erivo was one of the best things about Bad Times at the El Royale and Widows (even if those movies didn't completely satisfy). Harriet is her Brass Ring and from your review, she grabbed it with hands. Looking forward to it.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-23 05:16 pm (UTC)Harriet's director is Kassie Lemmons, who is good, there are some beautiful bits. And she does a good job of focusing the story on Harriet. Cynthia Erivo is amazing in it. They are very different films, but both quite satisfying in their own ways.