One-year Anniversary of Work-from-Home/Self-Isolation/Lock-Down.

[shadowkat]

I didn't start counting until the weekend. But this was the day my co-workers and I went into Lockdown - March 17, 2020.

We acknowledged it during the "Staff Meeting From Doom" today. It was the beginning of the week from hell.

In two days I get the second dose of the Pfizer vaccine. The NY Governor got the Johnson & Johnson today in Harlem - he's trying to get the African-American, Black, & Hispanic communities to get the vaccine. There were a lot of speeches - two from his mentors, who helped raise them - a black congressman and a black social activist and local representative.
They all made it clear that if it weren't for the Governor, we'd not have gotten this far.

Most New Yorker's according to polls support the Governor and don't believe the allegations. Or care. I honestly don't blame them. I honestly don't know what to believe - except that I'm kind of paralyzed with not caring all that much. I mean all of their allegations happened a long time ago - if it was that big a deal and they truly suffered - why didn't they come out about it when it happened? And if we buy it - what's that say about due process? If we just believed these women without looking deeper, without more information, without an investigation, than what's to stop them from falsely accusing others? I'm waiting for the investigation. That's the right thing to do, the moral thing to do, and the just thing to do. I've learned that people are very good at lying over the years, people you'd least suspect. Often to get attention. And the reason they are so good at it - is they convince themselves of the lie. They've created a storyline in their head and they are so convinced of it - they can sell it.

We're also in the middle of a pandemic - the Governor has been a comfort to a lot of folks during it. No one gives a crap about a bunch of allegations that may or may not have happened ages ago. If they wanted justice - they should have filed a claim with the proper authorities when it occurred, not six months after, not ten years after, and in one case twenty-two years later. It's hard enough to prove when it occurs. Also doing it en mass doesn't make it more believable folks. We're on to your game now - that may have worked in 2016, it doesn't now - not in a Post-Trump Media World of virulent conspiracies and guerilla marketing campaigns weaponizing social media platforms. Or at least I'm onto it now - I've learned just because five or six people say someone did a thing or they did it to them, doesn't make necessarily true.

As an aside, social media can be insanity inducing if you let it. My brother told me that he refuses to be on it - unless someone pays him. (He's built social media platforms for folks. I don't know which ones, I'm not on them.) And he has a point. Sisinlaw left FB after she got into fights with people about various things. She's only on Instagram now.

But, I also think people can get somewhat moralistic on social media - without thinking it through? I mean are we really qualified to stand in as judge and jury? Particularly when we don't know all the facts - and just rumors and gossip and innuendos, and allegations? Is it moral to judge someone else - that we don't know, and have no understanding of their situation? We don't know what we'd do in their shoes. I mean, it occurred to me today - what if a bunch of my coworkers or employees decided to - twenty years after the fact, allege I'd done a bunch of horrible things, and everyone chose to believe them? God, how horrible. Do you remember what you did twenty years ago in an old workplace? I have difficulty remembering what I did a year or two ago. It's so easy to stand in judgement - but not so easy when others judge us. I think we can do better, be kinder to one another, more forgiving, and less quick to judgement. I know I can. I mean we should hold ourselves to the same standards as we'd hold others, right? If we wouldn't want someone to do that to us, should we do it to others? Is it justice or revenge to do this sort of thing? Is it moral?



I made another quiche, after talking to mother. Mother got the second dose of the Moderna. She also took two tynenol when she got home - because she's already in pain all the time. Doctor did say it was okay to take a tynenol after the second dose, just not before.

Although if I have a vertigo headache coming on...because of weather/pollen I'm taking the tynenol that morning. Today is the first day this week that I didn't have the sinus headache. So, I've hope. I think the weather finally got through shifting. I hope.

During work, Wales texted me. And I've no clue how to help her.

Wales: I'm going to find a milieu to go birding this weekend. My concern about my family's boundary issues is generally what worries me. I worry they are trying to hurt me all the time. They are. But, I don't know if they're trying. I know they got to you. I don't expect you to be loyal to me. I'll live without them. Hope we can still have conversations now and then. It's really hard being a person holding on and remembering what happiness is.

ME: I've never spoken to your family. Stacy. How could they get to me? They don't have my contact information. Please get some help. Try this 1-888-NYC-WELL or https://nyc.well.cityofnewyork.us/en/. I think you need some help. Also check out Maurice Bernard podcasts on State of Mind - youtube. If it is real? And you have proof? Report it to the police.

I don't think I handled this well in retrospect. I burst into tears afterwards. And posted for advice on FB, my friend, a psychologist/therapist who I met in Costa Rica, advised me to speak rationally to her, suggest she get some help - direct her to it, and back off. But not to do more than that.

God. She's always been a little crazy - I tried to help her in 2008 and it blew up in my face in 2009. Now, I have boundaries. I keep telling her to get out of her head.

The thing is I don't have the bandwidth to help. I'm exhausted.

Me: I think Wales is going crazy. (I tell her about it.) And this is the one friend who calls me or texts me...I..
Mother: I know how exactly how you feel - I spoke with your father today.
Me (well not exactly the same..): How's Dad?
Mother: Well, he's leading the "parade" today - so if he passes your way, let me know.

Every day, I go through this kind of fear, anger, relief...trajectory. But I find moments of happiness within it.

Mother: I'm afraid I'm never going to be able to walk again -
ME: Don't say that. You don't know yet. Don't look that far ahead. Take it a day at the time.
Mother: Okay, I'm trying. But it still hurts.
Me: I know.
Mother: I did walk around the island in the kitchen today with my cane. And apparently the federal government is extending the deadline for taxes to May, so that will help.

That wasn't one of the moments. But I did laugh during Staff Meeting of Doom. I can't remember why exactly. And I think I figured out how to handle the binoculars.

Also, in his speech today, the ancient Congressman Rangle kept stating "spring is coming, it's on the way." And I'm getting the second dose of the vaccine on Friday. In four-five weeks - I can get a haircut. And maybe eventually go to the movies or a museum, or just go into Manhattan and walk around Lincoln Center.

Or...see my mom, my niece, or my father. I really want to see my mom and dad. It's a small thing, I know.



NY vs. the Corona Virus

From the Governor's newsletter...


1.COVID hospitalizations dropped to 4,624. Of the 263,401 tests reported yesterday, 8,976, or 3.41 percent, were positive. There were 954 patients in ICU yesterday, up 11 from the previous day. Of them, 601 are intubated. Sadly, we lost 54 New Yorkers to the virus.

2. As of 11am this morning, 23.5 percent of New Yorkers have completed at least one vaccine dose. Over the past 24 hours, 148,564 total doses have been administered. To date, New York administered 7,003,834 total doses with 12.2 percent of New Yorkers completing their vaccine series. See data by region and county on the State's Vaccine Tracker: ny.gov/vaccinetracker.

3. Appointments are now available at ten new state-run mass vaccination sites across the state. All ten sites will open on Friday, March 19, and will operate from 8:00am to 7:00pm daily. Each site will have the ability to vaccinate more than one thousand New Yorkers daily dependent on supply from the federal government. Appointments at the sites located in New York City, Long Island, Hudson Valley, Capital Region, Southern Tier, Mohawk Valley and Western New York regions available for booking today at ny.gov/GetVaccinated or by calling the NYS COVID-19 Vaccine Hotline at 1-833-NYS-4-VAX (1-833-697-4829).

4. Indoor fitness classes can resume at limited capacity on March 22. Indoor fitness classes can begin reopening statewide at 33 percent capacity with health screening and contact information required at sign-in. Classes should be scheduled to allow additional time for cleaning and disinfection between sessions. Local health departments shall inspect before or within 2 weeks of the fitness center opening to ensure compliance.

5. Beginning April 5, the 11pm curfew currently in place for casinos, movie theaters, bowling alleys, billiards halls, gyms and fitness centers will be lifted. The 11pm curfew for food and beverage establishments and the midnight curfew for catered events will remain in effect. Both curfews will be re-evaluated in late April.



I am getting a headache again, I think. I can't wait until Friday - when I get the vaccine over and done with. So far, mother isn't having any symptoms for her second dose. She's doing okay with her home-health care workers, and her neighbors who check in on her. I feel kind of isolated where I'm at - my friends and family all on phones and inside my computer.
The only people I see in person are the strangers in the laundry room, lobby, sidewalks, grocery stores, pharmacy, and cemetery.

Comments

[wendelah1]

I've learned that people are very good at lying over the years, people you'd least suspect. Often to get attention. And the reason they are so good at it - is they convince themselves of the lie. They've created a storyline in their head and they are so convinced of it - they can sell it.

This is so true. Plus some people will say or do anything for media attention.

I'm glad to hear that New Yorkers have more sense than their elected officials. Wait for the investigation: that makes sense to me.