Year 2 - Day 131 - Sigh

[shadowkat]

The above is a picture of my brother's extensive vegetable and fruit garden. He has everything in there - including a few plants that he's clueless about. It has a gate around it - to keep the deer out, but alas not the chipmunks and bunnies. His wife and daughter tend to stay clear - it's all his. He even has a banana plant - there's a variety that can grow in the northeastern US as a perennial - it hibernates in the winter, and grows in the summer months.

Today, after a sleepless night, and much fretting, mother finally convinced me to abandon the idea of flying down in August or September, and to wait for later in the fall.

Mother: the truth of the matter is, I don't know what to do with you while you're down here. It will only frustrate and make us both anxious. We're fine with our current set up. In fact I discussed this with a friend of mine. A nice lady from Boston who said that she totally understood - it's not like we don't chat every day on the phone, twice a day. If not more.
And I don't require the companionship - you're more isolated and alone than I am.

Mother: Plus, I'm sorry - going to visit someone just because you are afraid they'll die - is dumb. That's not why you visit people. I do not want you to do it for that reason. I'd rather you hold in your memory how we are in good times. We're close, we talk, this is not necessary right now.

Said friend, is Mary C - who is a Republican from Boston, and refuses to get vaccinated. Not that she's hurting anyone. She also refuses to leave her home or allow anyone to visit her - and hasn't gotten any vaccine in years. She's becoming a bit of a hermit. Also, she's given up on politics and refuses to vote for anyone ever again.

I'm not sure what to think about the fact that the friend who totally gets it - is well...

Mother told me to ignore everyone else, and just listen to her and myself. And she'd get my brother to back off. Youngest Aunt - she doesn't know what to do with - but since youngest Aunt is not her sister, she's chosen to ignore her. Instead she called youngest Aunt's older sister to vent.
Oh, and to stop driving myself and her crazy. Neither one of us needed the stress - we were perfectly fine as we were, chatting on the phone. Her friends agree. I do not need to be down there - to chat with her. It's actually better on the phone - to be honest.

So, I've pushed it back again to October - around mother's birthday. At least for now. Bro wondered about maybe Thanksgiving. But another top travel time. I may ask if I can visit him, but my guess is he'll have company.


Tomorrow - back in the office again, mostly to put files together. BYT Manager wants us to go back to putting together the award files, with all the required documents. I don't know why - no one ever really looks at them. The auditors just want it electronically now. I think BYT just likes to kill trees and pile up paper work for the heck of it. Make more sense just to do everything electronically.

***

Bro is having a devil of a time getting Niece's Student Visa. They've gone on various sites, only to have them crash. They sent her in to get her fingerprinted, etc, and paid cash - only to find out that they didn't need to pay anything. They don't want to send her passport off - because what if they don't get it back in time. It's become a nightmare. Mother seemed confused about it.

The whole London trip - which would have been stressful for them without the pandemic, is made a hundred times worse with a pandemic. They keep trying to talk her out of it - but alas, she's her father's daughter, heck she reminds me of all of us combined. We'd all have insisted. I know I insisted when the opportunity arose.

As an aside or off-topic, I learned that neosporin works wonders with mosquito bites. It's the asprin in it that counter-acts the effects of the bite. However, I can't locate neosporin, so I used Benedryle cream.

***




Covid

1.) Traveling during a pandemic

Talked to Jay, who told me that the flight to Tampa on Delta was packed. Amtrack was packed too. Sold out. People wore masks on both - although Jay said there were folks here and there on Delta who had to be told to do so.
Apparently Delta and United get the highest ratings for flying during the pandemic. Which does not bode well for me, since neither provide non-stop flights to Hilton Head or Savannah.

Jay said she's taking Jetblue in two weeks time to Martha's Vineyard, and will let me know what it's like. She's more courageous than I am - although also in a different situation. Jay completely understood my issues regarding it, and why I wasn't going down to Hilton Head any time soon.

Also, was told by someone else that Jetblue had three unruly kids behind them - who didn't wear masks.

This is why I want to fly in the fall not during the height of the summer. (Off-peak).

2.) CDC has changed its mind regarding masks indoors - and is now requiring them for areas with upticks in cases. NY has about 68% fully vaccinated, and 77% partially vaccinated. It's those 3.4 million souls that we are trying desperately to talk into it.

I checked and South Carolina is at a 8% infection rate, with Georgia at 12% per the John Hopkins COVID MAP OF DOOM. My area has risen to 2.34%.

Stupid anti-vaxxers. 47% of my organization is vaccinated.

Desperate - the City is now mandating that all City workers either get vaccinated or get tested every day, one or the other. This is kind of the trend for most employers now.

****

Still very warm here, and humid.

Television

* Tried The Bureau of Magical Things on Netflix - it's an Australian teen fantasy series. It's short. But not that good. Kind of silly actually. I binge watched five episodes last night before losing interest. Took two hours.

Niece is apparently into Polish Rom-Com's. I found this out when I was trying to talk her into watching The Wire

Sis-in-law: You're wasting your time. Seriously don't bother. She won't watch it.
Me: Why?
Sis-in-law: Don't get me wrong - I agree, The Wire is a brilliant and excellent show and she really should watch it. We've tried. But she has no attention span for it. She likes these really stupid television series. At the moment it's Polish Rom-Coms.
Niece: Mom, you are being mean.
Sis-in-law: She won't watch anything that doesn't have Me Tarzan, You Jane as dialogue. If it's deeper than that - she asks what it is about, and you have to explain what is happening for her. It's pathetic really.
Niece: That's really mean, Mom. Making fun of what I like. Quinn likes these shows too.
Sis-in-law: No, Quinn likes you, so he tolerates the shows because you like them.
Me: What happened to the Korean Rom-Coms?
Niece: I grew bored of them. Saw too many.
Sis-in-law: They were better than the Polish ones.

* Ted Lasso - Niece, me and Bro - watched Ted Lasso. Bro introduced it to me on Friday night, with the first episode of this season, and a synopsis. Then on Saturday night - he started from the beginning. So I've seen about five episodes of it. We began to binge watch.

[Bro and Sisinlaw have issues with their Wifi in the country. It keeps jumping out. And the cable folks are useless. They call them, and the wifi/cable company asks if they turned off their power? And then makes an appointment to come out - by which time, the wifi is back up again. Niece was constantly getting kicked out of Zoom.]

Ted Lasso is about an American Football couch, who knows nothing about British Football (Soccer) who is hired by the owner of a top team in England - to get back at her cheating ex-husband, Rupert Mannion. His team was the thing he loved most in the world. According to Bro - the man was couching Wichita State's Football Team.

Ted and his co-coach from Wichita State come to London. Everyone sneers at him - but he wins them all over with kindness and sincerity. It's a kind comedy - and hilarious in places. Everyone is likable. Well, except for Rupert.

Also lots of interesting and rather clever pop culture/literary references, that I picked up on but bro and niece didn't.

* Ted gives each of the players books. The team's oldest player, and the one the coach wants to put in the heroic role - he gives the book a Wrinkle in Time, and the jerk - he gives the book, Ender's Game. (I thought that was hilarious.)

* Anthony Stewart Head (now Anthony Head) plays Rupert Mannion. (I love the fact that he's named Rupert.) Also, he's really aged, and not necessarily well. I was blown away by how old he was.


It's entertaining, but not entertaining enough to get Apple TV. I got to draw the line somewhere.

Anyhow...not much more to report, except I've managed to give myself gas and heartburn from devouring yet another bowl of McConnell's peppermint ice cream. (I adore peppermint ice cream - it is far and away my favorite ice cream flavor - and I can never find it. So when I do - I grab it. I fell in love with it when I was a kid in Kansas City, we'd ride our bikes to Zarda Dairy and I'd get peppermint ice cream.

I'll leave you with the adorable fourteen year old sleeping kitty that my brother tried to hand off to me while I was leaving. I told him that if I took the poor cat, he'd die, and niece would be angry at all of us.

Comments

[mtbc]

I'd have hoped the university might be able to help with student visa advice? There must be other Americans like your niece needing the same at the moment, I wonder what their families are doing.

I'm glad your mother, at least, gets it. Your phone calls are better than just being stuck together unable to do much. And, she's right about you holding in your memory how they are in good times. I wasn't able to be with either of my parents at the end and, in retrospect, I am glad that that's thus not a way I remember them. I'm glad to think that your father still sometimes thinks he sees you anyway.

[shadowkat]

Thank you very much for this. It's the support I was trying to get from my brother. I have gotten it from my mother - and it's one of the reasons we are so close - the fact that she gets it.

Few understand though - and I blame society for that, and all those sappy Hallmark commercials and movies.

My mother remembers how uncomfortable my father was in visiting his parents towards the end. And it haunts her that her older sister reamed her younger one for not stepping up more, when her younger sister couldn't. She's watched families tear each other apart over this - my father's, her's, and it's not what she and my father want. It's the reason they chose the place they currently are in - which isn't perfect, but still better than most. (No place is perfect.)

My mother is very empathetic, she can see other people's sides of things. And when I mentioned that my father may want to see me - she answered, well he thinks he does most of the time anyhow.

[ihavenoarms]

cute cat

[atpo_onm]

Mother told me to ignore everyone else, and just listen to her and myself.

Wise your mother is-- listen to her. Also, this very interesting item just popped up in the news a few hours ago:

TOKYO (AP) — Simone Biles arrived in Tokyo as the star of the U.S. Olympic movement and perhaps the Games themselves. She convinced herself she was prepared for the pressure. That she was ready to carry the burden of outsized expectations.

Only, as the women's gymnastics team final approached on Tuesday night, something felt off. And the athlete widely considered the Greatest of All Time in her sport knew it.

So rather than push through the doubts that crept into her head as she's done so many times in the past, Biles decided enough was enough. She was done. For now.

The American star withdrew from the competition following one rotation, opening the door for the team of Russian athletes to win gold for the first time in nearly three decades.

Jordan Chiles, Sunisa Lee and Grace McCallum guided the U.S. to silver while Biles cheered from the sideline in a white sweatsuit, at peace with a decision that revealed a shift not only in Biles but perhaps the sport she's redefined.

“We also have to focus on ourselves, because at the end of the day we’re human, too," Biles said. “So, we have to protect our mind and our body, rather than just go out there and do what the world wants us to do.”

In the five years since Biles and the U.S. put on a dazzling display on their way to gold in Rio de Janeiro, gymnastics has undergone a reckoning. The tectonic plates in a sport where obedience, discipline and silence were long considered as important as talent and artistry are moving.

Biles has become an outspoken advocate for athlete’s rights and the importance of proper mental health. There was a time, there were many times actually, where she felt she wasn't right and just powered through because that's what people expected of her.

Not anymore. And the stand she took could resonate far beyond the color of any medal she may win in Tokyo.

*******

[shadowkat]

Thank you for sharing that article with me. I'd heard that she'd pulled out, but didn't know why. I thought maybe COVID. But no, it was for her own mental and physical health. Winning an Olympic Medal paled in comparison to that. She knew she wasn't in the right headspace or emotional/physical space for it - so backed out.

I've begun to see a pattern emerging since 2020, awards are becoming less meaningful. Sporting events, less impressive. Athletes are putting mental health first. There's a Tennis Player, who pulled out of the French Open and Wimbeldon, top tennis player, possibly the best in her field, and she did it - for mental health reasons. She couldn't handle the anxiety and pressure of the interviews and media. And pushed back. This is happening more and more.

We swung the pendulum so far in one direction - towards narcissism, fame, awards, accolades, nationalism, and profit - and now, I'm seeing it swing in the opposite direction. Many people are speaking out now.

I think the best thing Simone could have done for her sport and for others is to pull out. I've read that the Olympics are different this year, people aren't watching as much, and care less. They are focused more on the athletes than on the countries they represent. It's getting harder and harder to care about a country being great or winning, when every country on the globe has people dying. Climate Change and the Pandemic has kind of put things in perspective - I think?

“So, we have to protect our mind and our body, rather than just go out there and do what the world wants us to do.”

Love this quote. Thank you.

[oursin]

Did I ever mention that I saw Anthony Head on stage a few years back? in an off-West End production of a play by Terence Rattigan set during WW2 (I think it might originally have had censorship problems when it was first produced and this was the version as intended).

[shadowkat]

Ah, lovely. No, you haven't.

I fell for him when I saw him on stage in 1987 - he was subbing for his brother Murray Head in the musical CHESS. He played the American Chess Player, and did great renditions of Pity the Child and Bangkok. And I got tickets for three rows from the front. I'd wanted to see that musical for so long - since I'd heard all the music the year before - per one of the guys in college.

[oursin]

It was at the Menier Chocolate Factory (in spite of the name, a theatre!) in Southwark, which is small and in the round, so really quite intimate.

[yourlibrarian]

I'm curious if Ted Lasso held your niece's attention. And yes about Ender's Game!

[shadowkat]

It did - surprisingly enough. Bro got her into it - by the fact that it takes place in London, and they have British accents.

Also, I laughed out loud when Ted said his best concert was Kenny Rogers and worst was The Beastie Boys. (My brother and sisinlaw, along with niece - love the Beastie Boys. They dislike Kenny Rogers. Personally? I like both and have both on my Iphone Apple Tunes. )

The pop culture references were hilariously well placed.