(no subject)
Apr. 9th, 2022 05:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkat1. First - found on Twitter:
Maria Alberto (✍🏻 diss & other things!!😅)
mariakalberto
📊CALL FOR PARTICIPANTS!! 📊
I'm investigating how people see/hear/use "canon" re: pop culture as part of my PhD research. What does this term mean? Does it matter to you?
Info & survey HERE
Please feel free to share - I'd love to hear from you!.
2. Feeling crappy today - possibly due to weather, digestive issues, stress, frustration, and struggling with my dietary restrictions.
At any rate, cranky. So best not to post.
And got zip done, outside of torturing myself with the very bad television series "The Thing About Pam".
3. Checked out the internet, and apparently there's a lot of places I can retire to that do not require a car now...than previously. So the trend is going against owning a car post 60.
Good to know.
What instigated it?
Mother: Talked to my cousin Anita today, about your concerns regarding retirement, and she said that you just need to learn how to drive again. That her friends did it recently at the age of 60.
Reader? I did not react well.
Me: So I will be dead. The other people on the road will be dead. And you can tell her - that her advice killed me.
See, not well.
Me: I learned how. I have a driver's license. I don't - because I can't tell how far apart objects are spatially. I can't tell the difference between right and left, and get directions confused, and genuinely have to flip things in my head constantly. There is a five to six second delay when I do this. Also I hate being in car do to the spatial issue - things appear closer to me than they actually are - and my vision issues make it worse with age. It wasn't that bad in my 20s when I drove.
Poor mother who understands all this, felt bad for telling me what my cousin had stated out context.
My difficulty with some people is they lack empathy and compassion but are stock full of sympathy or pity. They honestly cannot relate to something that is outside their frame of reference or understanding. Or isn't something they'd do, their close friends would do, etc. In their heads - "everyone" = "people they are very close to" and if they can do it - so can you.
Empathy is the ability to see another person's perspective and feel for them, without having experienced it or being able to relate to it, and to do so without judgement. "I am sorry you are feeling this way. Hugs."
Sympathy is viewing that perspective with judgement, through your own experience and either feeling "pity" for them and trying to fix it or them as if it were you. Example: "You're just going to need to learn how to drive." "Do Not to eat chocolate or you'll get heartburn." "Maybe you should look for another job? Or move out of New York and to XYZ State."
Compassion is admitting you don't get it, expressing concern, listening, not trying to fix it, not offering advice, and simply stating "how can I help" or "what can I do to make you feel better about this".
Maria Alberto (✍🏻 diss & other things!!😅)
mariakalberto📊CALL FOR PARTICIPANTS!! 📊
I'm investigating how people see/hear/use "canon" re: pop culture as part of my PhD research. What does this term mean? Does it matter to you?
Info & survey HERE
Please feel free to share - I'd love to hear from you!.
2. Feeling crappy today - possibly due to weather, digestive issues, stress, frustration, and struggling with my dietary restrictions.
At any rate, cranky. So best not to post.
And got zip done, outside of torturing myself with the very bad television series "The Thing About Pam".
3. Checked out the internet, and apparently there's a lot of places I can retire to that do not require a car now...than previously. So the trend is going against owning a car post 60.
Good to know.
What instigated it?
Mother: Talked to my cousin Anita today, about your concerns regarding retirement, and she said that you just need to learn how to drive again. That her friends did it recently at the age of 60.
Reader? I did not react well.
Me: So I will be dead. The other people on the road will be dead. And you can tell her - that her advice killed me.
See, not well.
Me: I learned how. I have a driver's license. I don't - because I can't tell how far apart objects are spatially. I can't tell the difference between right and left, and get directions confused, and genuinely have to flip things in my head constantly. There is a five to six second delay when I do this. Also I hate being in car do to the spatial issue - things appear closer to me than they actually are - and my vision issues make it worse with age. It wasn't that bad in my 20s when I drove.
Poor mother who understands all this, felt bad for telling me what my cousin had stated out context.
My difficulty with some people is they lack empathy and compassion but are stock full of sympathy or pity. They honestly cannot relate to something that is outside their frame of reference or understanding. Or isn't something they'd do, their close friends would do, etc. In their heads - "everyone" = "people they are very close to" and if they can do it - so can you.
Empathy is the ability to see another person's perspective and feel for them, without having experienced it or being able to relate to it, and to do so without judgement. "I am sorry you are feeling this way. Hugs."
Sympathy is viewing that perspective with judgement, through your own experience and either feeling "pity" for them and trying to fix it or them as if it were you. Example: "You're just going to need to learn how to drive." "Do Not to eat chocolate or you'll get heartburn." "Maybe you should look for another job? Or move out of New York and to XYZ State."
Compassion is admitting you don't get it, expressing concern, listening, not trying to fix it, not offering advice, and simply stating "how can I help" or "what can I do to make you feel better about this".
no subject
Date: 2022-04-09 11:06 pm (UTC)But that hardly seems like something to count on - and so it totally makes sense that you should be planning for *your* particular future, based on *your* needs and capabilities.
Ugh at people who cannot comprehend that someone else's situation may not be the same as theirs.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-10 01:51 am (UTC)Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-10 12:05 am (UTC)We love it.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-10 01:53 am (UTC)It is very trashy. And Renee is obviously having a blast playing Pam. (I'm watching for the guy who plays Schwatz.)
no subject
Date: 2022-04-10 03:12 am (UTC)This is Renee Zellweger's showcase, though. Her Pam is almost a cartoon, but her fake helpfulness (barely covering her sour spitefulness) gets under your skin and makes you want to string her up on the nearest lamppost. You say to yourself: "There CAN'T be people like this!"
But, sadly, you know there are.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-10 06:42 am (UTC)I like the way you described the differences between sympathy and empathy. I feel like a lot of people have this urge to come up with a solution that mainly would work for them but don't see the other perspective. Sometimes, it isn't necessary to do so at all. As you've pointed out, it is better to just listen first and then see the next move without jumping in with advice immediately.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-10 03:00 pm (UTC)I think it's hard to listen - people get impatient.