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Pros and Cons of Online Posting
Oct. 22nd, 2003 02:53 am[Edited so that Friends Only due to Comments]
Been reading the boards sporadically today and a little of my friends livejournals. And being in an oddly contemplative mood, I thought I'd offer the following food for thought.
It's frustrating to go online sometimes, isn't it?
People can be such jerks. It's almost as if they forget to edit themselves. They forget someone out there is reading what they put-out there, which is easy to do.
I admit, I vent a lot in my live journal and I usually warn my friends first. Or at least I hope so. ;-) I've also privatized some of the more depressive or ranty posts. And I'm sure some people have avoided befriending me because I discuss Spike a great deal.
Why do I discuss Spike? Because at this point in my life my interest in that character is helpful to my situation. I understand his situation and it is in an odd way helping me through my own. Purely metaphorical of course. I know he’s a fictional character. Had the same reaction to Buffy in S6, when S6 was on. I identified strongly with that character.
The people who don't care or don't like Spike may not see it, but there's more nasty anti-Spike sentiment on the posting boards right now. All of the non-charactercentric boards. That said, there’s an equal amount of anti-Buffy and anti-Angel sentiment. There’s one character centric board I had to stop reading b/c of the anti-Angel/anti-Buffy posts. The character of Spike is extraordinarly popular right now and perhaps that threatens people? Maybe not. But when you bash fans of that character and that character as well? Then you make yourself look like an idiot. You make yourself look worse than the person you are responding to. This goes for all character and fan bashing regardless of the subject. Some of the posts in response to the poster that people don't like are far worse and far more annoying than that person's original post. It's sort of like how people respond to trolls, by becoming trolls themselves. It's something I have personal experience with by the way, because it is what happened to me this summer, a certain poster pushed my buttons, didn't matter what s/he/it posted on - it pushed my buttons. S/he's tone and writing style for some reason seemed condescending, patronizing, overly moralistic and insulting to “me”. I could not read h/ir posts without seeing red. Without wanting to hit back at h/ir and anyone who supported h/ir. So I finally did everyone a favor and "stopped" reading them. I don't read h/ir and s/he does not read me. Life is good. ;-)
I struggled with that by the way. Because other people on the boards seemed to respond to this poster occasionally, some even like h/ir. I've had to accept the fact that just because I can't stand h/ir does not mean others should. I'm sure there's quite a few people out there who can't stand me. Fact of life, as much as I hate it, is not everyone is going to like you, or agree with you. Some people for reasons I’ll never understand, will in fact hate me. Personalities, interests, beliefs just occasionally clash – that’s life. Doesn’t make them evil doesn’t make me good. Doesn’t make me right or them wrong. Life isn’t black and white. Or morally unambiguous in that respect, no matter how much I wish it would be. The best I or anyone can hope for is tolerance. And tolerance is easier said than done. It's one of the reasons I really appreciate Masq, who runs the ATPO board, and how she moderates her board - she refuses to censor, she tolerates posts and views that may make her crazy. And I’ve seen several that must have driven her around the bend, if she read them. Because tolerating views, discussing them and trying not to hurt others is something I aspire to. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I don't. And since Masq continues to tolerate others views, I applaud her board and call it home, even when I want to hit some of the people on it.
There's a great post by morgrain on the boards right now, that unfortunately only people who are spoiled could read - but the gist is that redemption comes from giving up the "will", the selfish desire to push our way through life without caring who we stampede on. So I’ll repost the philosophy and kill the spoilers, because I think it’s important. But will hide for those who are terrified. It’s from Schopenhauer. And as one poster mentioned on the boards it is very similar to what Buffy did in Chosen when she finally defeated the First Evil.
( Read more... )
I think the hardest thing in our lives is to feel compassion for those we cannot abide. To let go of hate long enough to forgive and understand them and through that reach compassion. In order to accomplish it, you really have to let go of your own desires and your own will which in a way is what Buffy did in Chosen. In Chosen Buffy faced down her own will, her desires, her fears – faced them in the First Evil who kept repeating how Buffy was the “Chosen One”. Superior. By sharing the power, she ended the superiority.
This is a concept, I’m struggling with it a great deal right now. My pride, my desires, my fears all rolled up into one little bundle. But I keep chanting the same lines over and over to myself – thou shall do no harm. No matter what happens – thou shall do no harm. It’s why I left the evil company last year because I knew if I stayed another day, I would lose it and do harm, and it is why I briefly left the fanboards this summer – because I feared I would do harm. And it is why I avoid certain posts, because I fear I will give in to the urge to do harm. Yes, I believe we can wound with words. And I try hard not to. Nothing on a tv show is worth hurting someone else over. No character. No storyline. But is anything worth hurting another? Anything? I wonder. Peace, liberties, love, equality – all these things are worthwhile but are they worth picking up a gun, a machete, or a sword and killing? Don’t know. But I do know that my own petty concerns and frustrations aren’t worth hurting others over, no matter how tempting. Anywho…just some thoughts at 2 am, when I should be in bed.
As an aside, I’d like to take this opportunity thank my readers, the livejournal people who befriended me, who continue to read my mad late night ramblings, and have responded so kindly these past few weeks. As well as for their own inspiring posts and entries. I do read them, even if I don’t always comment on them. TCH, Ponygirl, oyceter and Rahael’s entries this past weekend made me smile when I came online wanting to scream. If I haven’t said it before, I’ll say it now – you guys and gals (all of you not just the one’s I named) have helped me stay sane these last few weeks. Helped me feel less alone and less frustrated. Given me a place to run to, when I wanted to scream like a banshee. Even if I never see you face to face or hear your voices, you have all made an impact on my heart. Thank you. In the midst of the hubbub of millions of voices, it’s wonderful to find a few wonderful friends. You are the “pros” of coming online and you and people like you are the reason I continue to put my words out there. In that one way, I identify with Buffy whose friends got her through hell and back. And I continue to marvel at the fact that a TV show, a small cult tv show that not many people watch, brought together such a warm loving interesting incredibly diverse group of people. Just think if it hadn’t been for Spike, Angel, Buffy, Willow, et all we may never have met. (Okay gushing over….but you knew I was an emotional poster, has something to do with being a Piceses I suspect. )
Been reading the boards sporadically today and a little of my friends livejournals. And being in an oddly contemplative mood, I thought I'd offer the following food for thought.
It's frustrating to go online sometimes, isn't it?
People can be such jerks. It's almost as if they forget to edit themselves. They forget someone out there is reading what they put-out there, which is easy to do.
I admit, I vent a lot in my live journal and I usually warn my friends first. Or at least I hope so. ;-) I've also privatized some of the more depressive or ranty posts. And I'm sure some people have avoided befriending me because I discuss Spike a great deal.
Why do I discuss Spike? Because at this point in my life my interest in that character is helpful to my situation. I understand his situation and it is in an odd way helping me through my own. Purely metaphorical of course. I know he’s a fictional character. Had the same reaction to Buffy in S6, when S6 was on. I identified strongly with that character.
The people who don't care or don't like Spike may not see it, but there's more nasty anti-Spike sentiment on the posting boards right now. All of the non-charactercentric boards. That said, there’s an equal amount of anti-Buffy and anti-Angel sentiment. There’s one character centric board I had to stop reading b/c of the anti-Angel/anti-Buffy posts. The character of Spike is extraordinarly popular right now and perhaps that threatens people? Maybe not. But when you bash fans of that character and that character as well? Then you make yourself look like an idiot. You make yourself look worse than the person you are responding to. This goes for all character and fan bashing regardless of the subject. Some of the posts in response to the poster that people don't like are far worse and far more annoying than that person's original post. It's sort of like how people respond to trolls, by becoming trolls themselves. It's something I have personal experience with by the way, because it is what happened to me this summer, a certain poster pushed my buttons, didn't matter what s/he/it posted on - it pushed my buttons. S/he's tone and writing style for some reason seemed condescending, patronizing, overly moralistic and insulting to “me”. I could not read h/ir posts without seeing red. Without wanting to hit back at h/ir and anyone who supported h/ir. So I finally did everyone a favor and "stopped" reading them. I don't read h/ir and s/he does not read me. Life is good. ;-)
I struggled with that by the way. Because other people on the boards seemed to respond to this poster occasionally, some even like h/ir. I've had to accept the fact that just because I can't stand h/ir does not mean others should. I'm sure there's quite a few people out there who can't stand me. Fact of life, as much as I hate it, is not everyone is going to like you, or agree with you. Some people for reasons I’ll never understand, will in fact hate me. Personalities, interests, beliefs just occasionally clash – that’s life. Doesn’t make them evil doesn’t make me good. Doesn’t make me right or them wrong. Life isn’t black and white. Or morally unambiguous in that respect, no matter how much I wish it would be. The best I or anyone can hope for is tolerance. And tolerance is easier said than done. It's one of the reasons I really appreciate Masq, who runs the ATPO board, and how she moderates her board - she refuses to censor, she tolerates posts and views that may make her crazy. And I’ve seen several that must have driven her around the bend, if she read them. Because tolerating views, discussing them and trying not to hurt others is something I aspire to. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I don't. And since Masq continues to tolerate others views, I applaud her board and call it home, even when I want to hit some of the people on it.
There's a great post by morgrain on the boards right now, that unfortunately only people who are spoiled could read - but the gist is that redemption comes from giving up the "will", the selfish desire to push our way through life without caring who we stampede on. So I’ll repost the philosophy and kill the spoilers, because I think it’s important. But will hide for those who are terrified. It’s from Schopenhauer. And as one poster mentioned on the boards it is very similar to what Buffy did in Chosen when she finally defeated the First Evil.
( Read more... )
I think the hardest thing in our lives is to feel compassion for those we cannot abide. To let go of hate long enough to forgive and understand them and through that reach compassion. In order to accomplish it, you really have to let go of your own desires and your own will which in a way is what Buffy did in Chosen. In Chosen Buffy faced down her own will, her desires, her fears – faced them in the First Evil who kept repeating how Buffy was the “Chosen One”. Superior. By sharing the power, she ended the superiority.
This is a concept, I’m struggling with it a great deal right now. My pride, my desires, my fears all rolled up into one little bundle. But I keep chanting the same lines over and over to myself – thou shall do no harm. No matter what happens – thou shall do no harm. It’s why I left the evil company last year because I knew if I stayed another day, I would lose it and do harm, and it is why I briefly left the fanboards this summer – because I feared I would do harm. And it is why I avoid certain posts, because I fear I will give in to the urge to do harm. Yes, I believe we can wound with words. And I try hard not to. Nothing on a tv show is worth hurting someone else over. No character. No storyline. But is anything worth hurting another? Anything? I wonder. Peace, liberties, love, equality – all these things are worthwhile but are they worth picking up a gun, a machete, or a sword and killing? Don’t know. But I do know that my own petty concerns and frustrations aren’t worth hurting others over, no matter how tempting. Anywho…just some thoughts at 2 am, when I should be in bed.
As an aside, I’d like to take this opportunity thank my readers, the livejournal people who befriended me, who continue to read my mad late night ramblings, and have responded so kindly these past few weeks. As well as for their own inspiring posts and entries. I do read them, even if I don’t always comment on them. TCH, Ponygirl, oyceter and Rahael’s entries this past weekend made me smile when I came online wanting to scream. If I haven’t said it before, I’ll say it now – you guys and gals (all of you not just the one’s I named) have helped me stay sane these last few weeks. Helped me feel less alone and less frustrated. Given me a place to run to, when I wanted to scream like a banshee. Even if I never see you face to face or hear your voices, you have all made an impact on my heart. Thank you. In the midst of the hubbub of millions of voices, it’s wonderful to find a few wonderful friends. You are the “pros” of coming online and you and people like you are the reason I continue to put my words out there. In that one way, I identify with Buffy whose friends got her through hell and back. And I continue to marvel at the fact that a TV show, a small cult tv show that not many people watch, brought together such a warm loving interesting incredibly diverse group of people. Just think if it hadn’t been for Spike, Angel, Buffy, Willow, et all we may never have met. (Okay gushing over….but you knew I was an emotional poster, has something to do with being a Piceses I suspect. )
