Dec. 16th, 2012

shadowkat: (flowers)
Difficult and painful week. The sort of week that makes you wonder why you bother, why you should keep going, and wouldn't it be nice if I lived somewhere far away from humanity. As I told someone today - "I've been fighting people at my workplace all week - life in a public agency."

Feel like I've been fighting and navigating the world all by myself...and by Sunday, my shoulders, neck and back just had a consistent dull ache. Today it is dull and rainy. Spritzing. The type of weather that makes you grumpy and achy all over. I feel emotionally, spiritually and mentally exhausted. I hit the wall long ago. And I'm tired of bashing my head against it. Tired. Just tired. I think I need a massage. But no time.

Found out today on Facebook that my first love/college boyfriend and his wife lived down the street from the shooter in Sandyhook, CT. It had been a safe place. A haven they'd retreated to. They went to a vigil last night in the town, where he played Leonard Cohen's Broken Halleugha on the guitar. He reports how incredibly surreal it has all been. The shooter was a normal guy...20 years of age, who just snapped. My friend is a social worker and has worked in health care. He says he fervently hopes this tragedy will open up discussions on greater accessibility to mental health care and address our culture of violence.

Today I heard or saw various stories about belief and faith...about how all you need is a faith the size of one mustard seed to move mountains. Reminds me of that old Frank Sinitara song..."high hopes move rubber tree plants" or "the little engine that could". The speaker reminded me that we aren't in it alone, we can get help. But...She said something else as well...she talked about how those of us who are lonely, who do not have family and friends close by to depend on or support us, can feel abandoned at times or reach a point in which it is hard to keep moving forward.

So if you know anyone who does not have a family close by or lives alone or is trying to make it through the dark days of December by themselves? Take a moment to do a random act of kindness.

Here's some links to inspire you:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/moments-that-restored-our-faith-in-humanity-this-y

http://now.msn.com/random-acts-of-kindness-photo-gallery
shadowkat: (Default)
As my flist will most likely be pleased to know, I'm done with current events. Yes, I know, I spammed ...sorry about that.

Got my haircut...cost 75 bucks plus 14 for tip. Remember when they were just 20 bucks? Alas, I do and in NYC no less. Do not tell me if this is still the case for you, I so do not want to know. And when I got home and looked in the mirror, I wondered if one side was longer than the other? Huh. Otherwise I actually like it. It's short and breezy and does a good job of making the gray act like highlights.

Was thinking today...there's really only two tv series that comforted me and pulled me into fanfic or fandom...Buffy and Farscape. I don't know why this is. For some reason or other they spoke to me on a gut level or deep emotional level, which other series have not. Mileage varies on this point, I know.

Music! I love music. I can't play and can't sing worth shit, much to the annoyance of many an ex-boyfriend (I need to stop dating singers and critics), but I do adore it. Tried to watch all of the 12-12-12 concert - but it cut off after Billy Joel, so I missed Paul McCartney's jam with Nirvana. But I did find it on youtube. I honestly think Paul McCartney and David Bowie are the only two singers I pay to see sing live at this point and I can't afford either.



Eh... I think I like this better..



[IMHO the best Bond theme song ever. Well I did sort of like Nobody Does it Better from Spy who Loved me and View to a Kill by Duran Duran, but Paul McCartney nailed it with Live and Let Die. The Beatles on-going commentary on our violent culture is amongst the many reasons I adore them.)

Or this...let's face it Paul does his own songs the best:



Helter Skelter with Paul and Nirvana...I think.

shadowkat: (Calm)
David Bowie and Bing Crosby...sing Little Drummer Boy and Peace on Earth:




And from my favorite: Sting's Christmas Album:

Christmas at Sea - performed at St. John Divine Cathedrale



Soul Cake...performed live in Durham:


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