Year 2- Day 174...Breath in Breath out

Last day of vacation - it was a mini-five day weekend. I go back to work tomorrow - although not back to the office until Thursday.

I only have to go into the office once this week, and once next week.

I've decided the root of my anxiety is...needless worry about things that haven't happened yet and may never happen. My imagination is annoyingly vivid and active, when I don't keep it preoccupied with story telling.
I get myself all riled up over conversations and decisions that no one has made and may never be made.

I was taught this way of thinking at any early age - if you figure out the worst case scenario - you can be prepared. This is not true by the way. There's no way to prepare for something that may or may not happen, besides the way it will happen is probably not how I think it will. And I won't have control either way. All I'm doing is making myself miserable today over what may or may not happen tomorrow.

Once I realized this - which I kind of did over the weekend, I thought, okay I'm not going to waste time imagining the worse. I'm going to just think about what is happening now. The truth of the matter is - I've always known that, it's just not easy getting my brain to cooperate on the matter.
The trick - remember these are just thoughts, and I can ignore them.

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My father is on anti-biotics for a growth on his neck that's become enlarged. Also he banged his head in his sleep on one of the guard rails on his bed - so his face was bruised this morning, and his eye was puffy. Mother is worried about him. She's also second-guessing herself after her neighbor informed her that he'd moved his wife (with Altzheimers) to a memory care/assisted living facility in Naples, Fla that was so much nicer and far more expensive than the one my father is in.
( Read more... )

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While listening to the Robert Altman biography - I was reminded again, how multi-faceted and complicated people truly are. Altman, the television and film director (also fighter pilot and bomber) was an interesting character. People loved him, hated him, and/or were largely ambivalent. Most actors loved him - except for the ones who hated improvization and preferred having a set script and clear-cut direction.
I have a feeling a lot of producers and screenwriters didn't care for him all that much. He had no real respect for a script - he went off script, or told people that from his perspective a script was a map or an outline for how things should go, but not set in stone. In short? He was most likely a writer's nightmare.
( in depth description of the book I'm listening to, goes into old television series he directed, films, his style, and why he did it that way )

Oh, this is sad - Michael K. Williams of The Wire (you know the guy who played our favorite character? Omar?) - he died at the age of 54. Ouch. I'm 54. Just ouch. That hurts.

Michael K Williams Breaks Down His Most Iconic Roles

Mr. Williams was found about 2 p.m., according to the New York City Police Department. The death is being investigated as a possible drug overdose, the police said, and the city’s medical examiner was to determine the cause. - per NY Times.

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I see less and less people with masks now. I admittedly don't wear them that often outside, intermittently - when lots of people are around. If I'm alone on the sidewalk and there's no one around - I'm not wearing one. And if I'm alone in the apartment building it's off. I base it on my close proximity to others.

I bought more KN94 masks for work and train travel. They are more comfortable to wear and safer than the cloth masks. Also not as flimsy as the blue surgical masks. And not as thick as the KN95 - which I find less comfortable.

Cheap on Amazon. I swear I've a collection of masks now. I've been compulsively buying masks off and on all year long.

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Today's television roundup included:

Completing Discovery of Witches S2 on the DVR. Finished the last four episodes. Was annoyed by S2. It was harder to follow in places (possibly due to the two year hiatus), and the way it ended was painful.
Also, it got a bit cloyingly romantic in spots. Honestly my biggest problem with the vampire/witch paranormal romance trope is the whole - I must drink from you to know you, and we'll truly be mated, and the kiss of the witch shows me your soul - crap. Give me a break. It irritates me. And it's why I can't read a lot of vampire urban fantasy romances.

What If? Episode 3 - if you are unfamiliar with Marvel Comics, you probably don't know what to expect with What If? It is taken directly from the comics. There's a series in Marvel Comics entitled What If? Where the writers imagine an alternate version of events. Like "What If?" - Agent Carter became the Super Solider aka Captain America instead of Steve Rogers.

Today's episode or Episode 3 (I'm behind by one episode now) - is what if someone manages to kill off the Avengers, one by one. It's murder mystery - that Nick Fury and Loki team up to solve. Not bad, has a less than satisfying ending. But a believable one.

The animation and vocals are excellent, if a little stiff. Marvel hasn't quite gotten its animation to Disney/Anime levels yet, but its close.


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Random photo of the day..

A Tale of two Bridges...