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Jul. 11th, 2022 08:06 pmThanks for all the responses to the last two posts.
I took today off as a personal day. Which I'm really glad I did. I kind of needed that space. Also with the Doctor's appointment - I realized I couldn't juggle both today.
Spent most of it fasting and binge watching "Only Murders in the Building" on Hulu, while archiving. It doesn't require a lot of attention and is rather funny in places.
The archiving of old metas, essays, reviews, fic into Ao3 has born fruit. I've gotten quite a few comments thanking me for doing it - often for meta that I originally didn't think fit or wasn't polished enough. Just got one for an old essay on the Angel the Series S5 episode "Why We Fight", where I made someone's night.
At the Doctor's appointment (a physical), I told her about my grief (mainly to see if some of my ailments are a)grief, b)menopause, c)thyroid, or something else.).
( Read more... )
I told my mother all of this and she agreed with everything but that last bit.
( Read more... )
**
At any rate, I cried myself out yesterday, by 5pm, I was exhausted and all cried out. You can only bawl for so long before you finally wear yourself out and your body calls a halt to it and says, okay that was fun, let's stop now and do something else?
And, I've been grieving my Dad for some time now. But, also, I'm relieved he passed finally. I know he's at peace now. As my Aunt K said, his struggles are finally over. Kind of had a conversation today with him in my head - where he gave me permission not to go down to Hilton Head right now.
Not to rush it. He didn't do that with his parents, he let his siblings take care of things.
I'm comfortably numb now. No longer flooded with thoughts of my father, or memories. They are there. I'm not blocking them. But this weekend they kind of flooded me, along with the realization that I wouldn't hear him laugh again (my father had a booming laugh), or his voice, or see him smile (although my brother does resemble him in some ways).
But his voice is in my head. And what he taught me stays with me.( Read more... )
I took today off as a personal day. Which I'm really glad I did. I kind of needed that space. Also with the Doctor's appointment - I realized I couldn't juggle both today.
Spent most of it fasting and binge watching "Only Murders in the Building" on Hulu, while archiving. It doesn't require a lot of attention and is rather funny in places.
The archiving of old metas, essays, reviews, fic into Ao3 has born fruit. I've gotten quite a few comments thanking me for doing it - often for meta that I originally didn't think fit or wasn't polished enough. Just got one for an old essay on the Angel the Series S5 episode "Why We Fight", where I made someone's night.
At the Doctor's appointment (a physical), I told her about my grief (mainly to see if some of my ailments are a)grief, b)menopause, c)thyroid, or something else.).
( Read more... )
I told my mother all of this and she agreed with everything but that last bit.
( Read more... )
**
At any rate, I cried myself out yesterday, by 5pm, I was exhausted and all cried out. You can only bawl for so long before you finally wear yourself out and your body calls a halt to it and says, okay that was fun, let's stop now and do something else?
And, I've been grieving my Dad for some time now. But, also, I'm relieved he passed finally. I know he's at peace now. As my Aunt K said, his struggles are finally over. Kind of had a conversation today with him in my head - where he gave me permission not to go down to Hilton Head right now.
Not to rush it. He didn't do that with his parents, he let his siblings take care of things.
I'm comfortably numb now. No longer flooded with thoughts of my father, or memories. They are there. I'm not blocking them. But this weekend they kind of flooded me, along with the realization that I wouldn't hear him laugh again (my father had a booming laugh), or his voice, or see him smile (although my brother does resemble him in some ways).
But his voice is in my head. And what he taught me stays with me.( Read more... )