This that and the other thing...
Jun. 29th, 2025 04:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkat1. Macs are not the best when it comes to saving files or organizing electronic files, or finding them later. PC's are better for that as is Windows Operating system. But Macs have less viruses and last longer.
I have both - Mac laptop at home, PC desktop at work. I flirt with getting another PC desktop for home, but I like the Mac virus protection better for home use and firewall. However, I need to get a new Mac and I don't want to. They are expensive.
2. Been fighting a sick headache all day long, no idea what is causing it. High blood pressure? (I took it - it's high, so took the diuretic which makes me woozy to bring it down). The weather? Blood sugar? Menopause? God knows. [ETA: It's better now - combination of headache (a generic excedrin), benedryl, and blood pressure diuretic, plus water, and a brownie. Seems to have done the trick.]
Also got off the computer and watched Poker Face on Peacock instead. Poker Face is basically Rian Johnson's take on Columbo, with Natasha Lyon playing the detective. We see it from the murder's perspective first, then from Natasha's (she's a down and out, scruffy, forty-something woman on the run from the mob (Ben Bratt), who has the ability to see the pattern in things. She is highly observant, and picks up things, and can see the pattern. It made her a great poker player - to the point that casinos kicked her out, and she got in trouble with mob bosses. This is the old style person on the run, solves cases across the country, takes no credit for helping people solve them, and gets away in the nick of time - traveling to another local. Basically the Fugitive meets Columbo by way of Murder She Wrote, with a spunky heroine in the lead.
The cases are rather clever as is her haphazard means of solving them. The mystery is how she solves the case. We already know the how, why, when and who of the whodunnit, what we don't know is how it will be solved. It's in a way a parlor room murder mystery - with the detective explaining to the murderer how they figured it out, escaping before the murderer kills them or someone else does, and leaving the murderer thinking they got away with it - when low and behold they don't. I like these better than police procedurals in that - they are more comforting. Less scary. And not as gruesome. Also no serial killers, torture, or rape. I can't watch the police procedurals any longer - because of the torture, rape, and serial killers. I like watching the solving of the puzzle, but could do without seeing the actual torture/rape and serial killer's perspective?
I recommend for anyone who likes episodic detective stories, with a parlor room mystery style. Also Natasha Lyon. It's currently on Peacock in the US.
3. I think I figured out why I hate conflict and arguing with folks online or off - it's because it brings out the worst in me? I don't like hurting people. Or tit for tat. I don't like getting condescending. Or cursing. Or fighting. It makes me physically ill. It raises my blood pressure. It tightens my chest cavity. And it causes anxiety.
Some people get off on it, I think? But I never have. It's why I realized I couldn't be a litigator - I didn't like fighting with people. And negotiations often fell in that category as well. I don't like arguments.
I never have.
Every time it happens - my hands shake so badly, I can't type. I lose sleep. And I feel ill. I'm a writer not a debater. It's probably why I didn't become a practicing attorney. I know how to debate - but I hate doing it.
4. Meant to work on my novel this weekend - sent the info to myself and everything, but alas, I just couldn't. No bandwidth capacity - me, not the computer. Frustrating, that. At this rate - it will never be completed, or so it seems. I have all these ideas, but no physical bandwidth to get them out and in writing.
In other writing related news? I got a positive comment on a Buffy fanfic (No Regrets") that I wrote ages ago, and posted on Ao3, I didn't respond back. I learned my lesson with Ao3, don't respond to comments (positive or negative) or add any new posts - or they will find me and attack me with emails about freezing my account and taking down my stuff and how I'm not following some arcane and incredibly difficult to understand rule or other. Much better to stay quiet. But it was a nice comment.
"That was a very profound read, really interesting in depth look at what becoming human might mean for Spike into Will.
Also seeing Buffy's own thoughts on the changes in her life
I like the way that you ended it, no neat bow, but with perhaps a friendship to continue and a bit of a nostalgic laugh also."
I still get kudos from that page from time to time, which makes me think maybe I'm touching people with my writing in a good way? That I'm reaching folks that I've never met and somehow making their lives a little better, or giving them something to connect to, or making them think a little bit differently about something? I think that's all any of us want to do sometimes, is just find a way to connect with one another, and obtain a positive emotional response? To share the love? And to some degree the pain - at least to the point in which it makes us feel less alone, and connected to something bigger? To know there's someone else somewhere out there wherever they may be that feels the same way we do about this?
Life can feel very lonely at times. I was about to say especially when you live alone - but I don't think that's true - I think it can feel that way regardless. We are all alone in our bodies. No one out there knows what it feels like to be in these bodies, struggling to find the words and phrases and hand gestures or movements to somehow communicate what we feel or are thinking. And we are editing ourselves constantly - trying not to hurt anyone or hurt ourselves.
I listened to Amy P Mitchell's video talk about herself - done several years ago. In it she talks about how our pasts don't define us. And then relates this horrific story about her childhood - so horrific that she took off at the age of 11, and went from one abusive situation to the next, until somehow as a single mother, she managed to get her undergrad degree and go on to Stanford Law School. She's trying to inspire others. I realized she was also trying to connect with others. But I got from her podcast how she too edits herself constantly and not always well.
I think art and culture often connects us - in a good way. Television shows, music, concerts, live theater, movies, books, readings, dance, and sporting events. A way to come together and discuss things that bring us joy. But all of that can also divide. Humans are complicated organisms after all.
5. I watched some television shows.
Finished The Bear S4. The Bear does for restaurants what The Pitt does for the ER, except it has more family interaction and really delves into the individual characters deeply. Also has quite the cast - three to four members of it - have taken off since the series aired. And multiple members have gotten Emmys. Season 4, unlike the previous seasons, is really comforting and provides a sense of closure for multiple character arcs - each of the characters manages to resolve the main issue plaguing them since the beginning of the series. I may re-watch it from the beginning in July. It's not long. Just 10 episodes per season. First season had 8. And each episode is about 30 minutes. They aren't long episodes. But jam packed with information and character development.
Shows how much you can do in a short period of time.
The dialogue is realistic - it gets across how hard it is to communicate to people. People talk over each other, they don't want to listen to one another, and are too caught up in their own shit to hear. Often projecting their problems onto the other person. And feeling alone as a result.
It can be frustrating at times to listen to the dialogue - I want to smack the characters. But it is hyper-realism, and so accurate. People do talk like that. I found S4 extremely satisfying. While I want a S5, I'll be happy with this season as the cap to a very good series, among the best I've seen in a very long time. It's definitely in the top ten of the 2020s.
And has earned every award it ever got. If you've not seen it yet? I highly recommend, it's on Hulu in the US. It's a realistic dramedy about an acclaimed NYC chef who returns to his hometown of Chicago after his older brother commits suicide to run and revamp the family restaurant that had previously been run (partially into the ground) by his brother. Each characters evolves through the series, and in a satisfying way. It is rather uplifting and inspiring in places. I adore it to pieces.
Andor - is unfortunately not as good. And I love science fiction and Star Wars (it was my first real fandom, well next to the Monkeys at any rate, and Batman and Robin, which I'm not completely sure counts). It is a different genre. But it is, alas, far too political for its own good - and a lot of time is wasted on plot mechanics, with the characters getting a bit lost in the shuffle. That's always been my problem with the sci-fi genre, actually, is that it either gets bogged down in world building or plot mechanics. This is one is a bit of both. And often loses its characters. Not helped by the fact that there are almost too many characters and interlocking story threads.
Add to that mess? The subject matter is hard to watch right now. It would have been easier to watch in 2022. Now, it's kind of painful. It's about a fascist dictatorship slowly encroaching on democratic territories and trying to turn everyone into workers, or part of the system, no real individual rights and conformity. People wear non-descript clothing, and the people in power are pale skinned (washed out) made worse by their white and black and grey uniforms, and lighting. They wear no colors at all.
It's kind of depressing? And it drags. The dialogue is mainly plot oriented, and the emotional moments, painful.
I know it's critically acclaimed, but I'm having difficulty with it. My attention keeps wandering. I had to rewind three times today, on account of going to sleep during it, attention wandering to other things, and just brain fog.
It's on Disney + in the US, and I don't recommend if you have brain fog, are depressed by the current political situation (and seriously who isn't?) and not really a devoted Star Wars fan?
I'll stick with it, but I may wait a bit.
I have both - Mac laptop at home, PC desktop at work. I flirt with getting another PC desktop for home, but I like the Mac virus protection better for home use and firewall. However, I need to get a new Mac and I don't want to. They are expensive.
2. Been fighting a sick headache all day long, no idea what is causing it. High blood pressure? (I took it - it's high, so took the diuretic which makes me woozy to bring it down). The weather? Blood sugar? Menopause? God knows. [ETA: It's better now - combination of headache (a generic excedrin), benedryl, and blood pressure diuretic, plus water, and a brownie. Seems to have done the trick.]
Also got off the computer and watched Poker Face on Peacock instead. Poker Face is basically Rian Johnson's take on Columbo, with Natasha Lyon playing the detective. We see it from the murder's perspective first, then from Natasha's (she's a down and out, scruffy, forty-something woman on the run from the mob (Ben Bratt), who has the ability to see the pattern in things. She is highly observant, and picks up things, and can see the pattern. It made her a great poker player - to the point that casinos kicked her out, and she got in trouble with mob bosses. This is the old style person on the run, solves cases across the country, takes no credit for helping people solve them, and gets away in the nick of time - traveling to another local. Basically the Fugitive meets Columbo by way of Murder She Wrote, with a spunky heroine in the lead.
The cases are rather clever as is her haphazard means of solving them. The mystery is how she solves the case. We already know the how, why, when and who of the whodunnit, what we don't know is how it will be solved. It's in a way a parlor room murder mystery - with the detective explaining to the murderer how they figured it out, escaping before the murderer kills them or someone else does, and leaving the murderer thinking they got away with it - when low and behold they don't. I like these better than police procedurals in that - they are more comforting. Less scary. And not as gruesome. Also no serial killers, torture, or rape. I can't watch the police procedurals any longer - because of the torture, rape, and serial killers. I like watching the solving of the puzzle, but could do without seeing the actual torture/rape and serial killer's perspective?
I recommend for anyone who likes episodic detective stories, with a parlor room mystery style. Also Natasha Lyon. It's currently on Peacock in the US.
3. I think I figured out why I hate conflict and arguing with folks online or off - it's because it brings out the worst in me? I don't like hurting people. Or tit for tat. I don't like getting condescending. Or cursing. Or fighting. It makes me physically ill. It raises my blood pressure. It tightens my chest cavity. And it causes anxiety.
Some people get off on it, I think? But I never have. It's why I realized I couldn't be a litigator - I didn't like fighting with people. And negotiations often fell in that category as well. I don't like arguments.
I never have.
Every time it happens - my hands shake so badly, I can't type. I lose sleep. And I feel ill. I'm a writer not a debater. It's probably why I didn't become a practicing attorney. I know how to debate - but I hate doing it.
4. Meant to work on my novel this weekend - sent the info to myself and everything, but alas, I just couldn't. No bandwidth capacity - me, not the computer. Frustrating, that. At this rate - it will never be completed, or so it seems. I have all these ideas, but no physical bandwidth to get them out and in writing.
In other writing related news? I got a positive comment on a Buffy fanfic (No Regrets") that I wrote ages ago, and posted on Ao3, I didn't respond back. I learned my lesson with Ao3, don't respond to comments (positive or negative) or add any new posts - or they will find me and attack me with emails about freezing my account and taking down my stuff and how I'm not following some arcane and incredibly difficult to understand rule or other. Much better to stay quiet. But it was a nice comment.
"That was a very profound read, really interesting in depth look at what becoming human might mean for Spike into Will.
Also seeing Buffy's own thoughts on the changes in her life
I like the way that you ended it, no neat bow, but with perhaps a friendship to continue and a bit of a nostalgic laugh also."
I still get kudos from that page from time to time, which makes me think maybe I'm touching people with my writing in a good way? That I'm reaching folks that I've never met and somehow making their lives a little better, or giving them something to connect to, or making them think a little bit differently about something? I think that's all any of us want to do sometimes, is just find a way to connect with one another, and obtain a positive emotional response? To share the love? And to some degree the pain - at least to the point in which it makes us feel less alone, and connected to something bigger? To know there's someone else somewhere out there wherever they may be that feels the same way we do about this?
Life can feel very lonely at times. I was about to say especially when you live alone - but I don't think that's true - I think it can feel that way regardless. We are all alone in our bodies. No one out there knows what it feels like to be in these bodies, struggling to find the words and phrases and hand gestures or movements to somehow communicate what we feel or are thinking. And we are editing ourselves constantly - trying not to hurt anyone or hurt ourselves.
I listened to Amy P Mitchell's video talk about herself - done several years ago. In it she talks about how our pasts don't define us. And then relates this horrific story about her childhood - so horrific that she took off at the age of 11, and went from one abusive situation to the next, until somehow as a single mother, she managed to get her undergrad degree and go on to Stanford Law School. She's trying to inspire others. I realized she was also trying to connect with others. But I got from her podcast how she too edits herself constantly and not always well.
I think art and culture often connects us - in a good way. Television shows, music, concerts, live theater, movies, books, readings, dance, and sporting events. A way to come together and discuss things that bring us joy. But all of that can also divide. Humans are complicated organisms after all.
5. I watched some television shows.
Finished The Bear S4. The Bear does for restaurants what The Pitt does for the ER, except it has more family interaction and really delves into the individual characters deeply. Also has quite the cast - three to four members of it - have taken off since the series aired. And multiple members have gotten Emmys. Season 4, unlike the previous seasons, is really comforting and provides a sense of closure for multiple character arcs - each of the characters manages to resolve the main issue plaguing them since the beginning of the series. I may re-watch it from the beginning in July. It's not long. Just 10 episodes per season. First season had 8. And each episode is about 30 minutes. They aren't long episodes. But jam packed with information and character development.
Shows how much you can do in a short period of time.
The dialogue is realistic - it gets across how hard it is to communicate to people. People talk over each other, they don't want to listen to one another, and are too caught up in their own shit to hear. Often projecting their problems onto the other person. And feeling alone as a result.
It can be frustrating at times to listen to the dialogue - I want to smack the characters. But it is hyper-realism, and so accurate. People do talk like that. I found S4 extremely satisfying. While I want a S5, I'll be happy with this season as the cap to a very good series, among the best I've seen in a very long time. It's definitely in the top ten of the 2020s.
And has earned every award it ever got. If you've not seen it yet? I highly recommend, it's on Hulu in the US. It's a realistic dramedy about an acclaimed NYC chef who returns to his hometown of Chicago after his older brother commits suicide to run and revamp the family restaurant that had previously been run (partially into the ground) by his brother. Each characters evolves through the series, and in a satisfying way. It is rather uplifting and inspiring in places. I adore it to pieces.
Andor - is unfortunately not as good. And I love science fiction and Star Wars (it was my first real fandom, well next to the Monkeys at any rate, and Batman and Robin, which I'm not completely sure counts). It is a different genre. But it is, alas, far too political for its own good - and a lot of time is wasted on plot mechanics, with the characters getting a bit lost in the shuffle. That's always been my problem with the sci-fi genre, actually, is that it either gets bogged down in world building or plot mechanics. This is one is a bit of both. And often loses its characters. Not helped by the fact that there are almost too many characters and interlocking story threads.
Add to that mess? The subject matter is hard to watch right now. It would have been easier to watch in 2022. Now, it's kind of painful. It's about a fascist dictatorship slowly encroaching on democratic territories and trying to turn everyone into workers, or part of the system, no real individual rights and conformity. People wear non-descript clothing, and the people in power are pale skinned (washed out) made worse by their white and black and grey uniforms, and lighting. They wear no colors at all.
It's kind of depressing? And it drags. The dialogue is mainly plot oriented, and the emotional moments, painful.
I know it's critically acclaimed, but I'm having difficulty with it. My attention keeps wandering. I had to rewind three times today, on account of going to sleep during it, attention wandering to other things, and just brain fog.
It's on Disney + in the US, and I don't recommend if you have brain fog, are depressed by the current political situation (and seriously who isn't?) and not really a devoted Star Wars fan?
I'll stick with it, but I may wait a bit.
no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 03:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 03:35 pm (UTC)Like I said - not the best show to watch right now, depending on your situation of course - YMMV.
Also, if you loved the prequels and Clone Wars? And Tony Gilroy's stuff (he likes to write political thrillers)? This will be your thing.
In short? It's not working for me. Not sure I care if others like it or not, at the moment.
no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 04:34 pm (UTC)For me, the politics in Andor resonate well -- too well -- with the US today.
no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 04:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 04:53 pm (UTC)I feel inundated.
Plus all the people who feel the need to pass their fears about onto us. Ugh.
I want escapism in my television. LOL!
no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 09:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-07-02 12:34 am (UTC)I've never had any trouble with AO3. I'm surprised you've had a bad experience. But kudos for getting positive comments on an older fic. The Buffyverse continues to attract people it seems.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-02 12:08 pm (UTC)I had issues with Ao3 because I was posting non-fictional works such as meta, reviews, critical analysis - and a lot of the fanficcers took issue with it, even though the site requested meta and reviews and critical analysis essays under its March Meta Challenge. If all you are posting is fanfic - you won't have any issues. Fandom archival sites like Ao3 for reasons that escape me - discriminates or belittles meta, critical analysis, non-fiction writing, and reviews in favor of fanfic. And there's a lot of fanfic writers who resent anything that isn't fanfic on that site. I ended up removing over 200 works from Ao3 and posting them to Squidgeworks site instead.
Ao3 has a lot of problems - it got in trouble last year for not removing racist comments and bigotry. Also for the whole Israel/Gaza situation, and its stance on that. Basically, Ao3 got political and not in a good way. Now it makes you agree to its terms prior to entering the site.
I'm finding Andor S2 very boring at the moment, and my attention keeps wandering, nothing appears to really be happening and what is? Is depressing and difficult to watch (the attempted rape of Bix). This is not helped by the fact that they've decided to make a spider planet the center of the action (I have arachnophobia). It may change or it may be a mood thing. I liked Andor S1.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-02 02:37 pm (UTC)What helped me a lot with season 2 of Andor was learning that there where 3 yr gaps between each arc. If that was explained at the beginning, we missed it! Knowing that, meant getting a much better understanding of what was going on and how we got from what I thought I knew to where we were now. I wish I'd known that right off. It would have helped.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-03 12:51 pm (UTC)So it does tell you before the episode begins.
Don't get me wrong? I can follow it. I figured out the plot in the first three episodes and the themes. (The Empire wants Ghorman for its mineral rights and has tasked Meers and Syril with creating an uprising on the planet, so they have an excuse to swoop in and take over and strip the planet of its mineral resources that can provide energy to fuel the Empire - they don't care about the spiders or the planet. The Resistance is attempting to figure out what it is doing and stop it. That's the basic plot so far. Moth is attempting to stop her daughter from marrying the cold nasty son of the investor, but can't - the daughter won't budge, and she needs the marriage to save her from her financial distribution issue (she gave money to the resistance to fund it - and someone discovered a discrepancy in her funds or a lack of funds, because her husband overindulges and she didn't have enough to cover the donation - so she needed to go into partnership with this other guy to cover it up - that plot line is painful to follow), then there is Meer who wanted to track down Andor - but was sidetracked into acquiring Ghorman for the Empire (who couldn't care less about Andor), and the spy in the Empire - who has managed to get the Empire to not focus on acquiring Andor (because honestly they have enough prisoners as it is and can't keep up), and Luthen who is busy like a spider trying to mess up the Empire from within and without. While it is analogous to what is happening now? It's not really at the same time. It's very Tony Gilroy though - he loves writing political spy thrillers.
The difficulty I'm having with it is - unlike you and mefisto is I'm working full time in a huge state and federally funded government agency, analyze legal and financial documents all day, and this is too much like work to me? I want to escape from this stuff. Much prefer THE BEAR or BUFFY.
no subject
Date: 2025-07-04 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-07-04 01:52 pm (UTC)So am more aware of what it states at the beginning. Also I'm wondering if it works better if you binge it? Because jumping in and out, makes it easier to lose track of various plot and character threads.
The one that keeps eluding me is Mon Mothra - whose plot thread is a bit too political for its own good, and dependent on dialogue. We're basically jumping in and out of a wedding reception, where people dance, talk, and whisper in corridors - eluding to various things, without saying too much in case they are overheard. Nothing really happens? Or it does - but it is only eluded to - and the audience is watching Luthan spin a web? But it keeps putting me to sleep.
I really wish the writer would drop the Mon Mothra story thread - although I get why he has it in there and can't. But it slows everything down and I have to do a lot of rewinding to figure out what happened and why. I also wish we didn't have to have the story on a spider planet. What is it with sci-fi writers and space spiders lately?
(Oh well at least the spiders don't really look like real spiders.)
It's a darkly lit series - what I mean by that is it has a lot of scenes at night or in darkly lit spaces - most of Andor/Bix's scenes are in a darkly lit safe house on Coruscrant in Episode 5 for example.) This is problematic because I live in an apartment that gets sunlight, and I don't have blinds. So unless I watch at night - its hard to see some of the scenes. A lot of series are - most everything on Netflix is. They are shot to be seen in movie theaters - my home isn't one.
But mainly - it's just there's too much right now - and I need comfort shows?
no subject
Date: 2025-07-04 04:32 pm (UTC)