This that and the other thing...
Jun. 29th, 2025 04:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkat1. Macs are not the best when it comes to saving files or organizing electronic files, or finding them later. PC's are better for that as is Windows Operating system. But Macs have less viruses and last longer.
I have both - Mac laptop at home, PC desktop at work. I flirt with getting another PC desktop for home, but I like the Mac virus protection better for home use and firewall. However, I need to get a new Mac and I don't want to. They are expensive.
2. Been fighting a sick headache all day long, no idea what is causing it. High blood pressure? (I took it - it's high, so took the diuretic which makes me woozy to bring it down). The weather? Blood sugar? Menopause? God knows. [ETA: It's better now - combination of headache (a generic excedrin), benedryl, and blood pressure diuretic, plus water, and a brownie. Seems to have done the trick.]
Also got off the computer and watched Poker Face on Peacock instead. Poker Face is basically Rian Johnson's take on Columbo, with Natasha Lyon playing the detective. We see it from the murder's perspective first, then from Natasha's (she's a down and out, scruffy, forty-something woman on the run from the mob (Ben Bratt), who has the ability to see the pattern in things. She is highly observant, and picks up things, and can see the pattern. It made her a great poker player - to the point that casinos kicked her out, and she got in trouble with mob bosses. This is the old style person on the run, solves cases across the country, takes no credit for helping people solve them, and gets away in the nick of time - traveling to another local. Basically the Fugitive meets Columbo by way of Murder She Wrote, with a spunky heroine in the lead.
The cases are rather clever as is her haphazard means of solving them. The mystery is how she solves the case. We already know the how, why, when and who of the whodunnit, what we don't know is how it will be solved. It's in a way a parlor room murder mystery - with the detective explaining to the murderer how they figured it out, escaping before the murderer kills them or someone else does, and leaving the murderer thinking they got away with it - when low and behold they don't. I like these better than police procedurals in that - they are more comforting. Less scary. And not as gruesome. Also no serial killers, torture, or rape. I can't watch the police procedurals any longer - because of the torture, rape, and serial killers. I like watching the solving of the puzzle, but could do without seeing the actual torture/rape and serial killer's perspective?
I recommend for anyone who likes episodic detective stories, with a parlor room mystery style. Also Natasha Lyon. It's currently on Peacock in the US.
3. I think I figured out why I hate conflict and arguing with folks online or off - it's because it brings out the worst in me? I don't like hurting people. Or tit for tat. I don't like getting condescending. Or cursing. Or fighting. It makes me physically ill. It raises my blood pressure. It tightens my chest cavity. And it causes anxiety.
Some people get off on it, I think? But I never have. It's why I realized I couldn't be a litigator - I didn't like fighting with people. And negotiations often fell in that category as well. I don't like arguments.
I never have.
Every time it happens - my hands shake so badly, I can't type. I lose sleep. And I feel ill. I'm a writer not a debater. It's probably why I didn't become a practicing attorney. I know how to debate - but I hate doing it.
4. Meant to work on my novel this weekend - sent the info to myself and everything, but alas, I just couldn't. No bandwidth capacity - me, not the computer. Frustrating, that. At this rate - it will never be completed, or so it seems. I have all these ideas, but no physical bandwidth to get them out and in writing.
In other writing related news? I got a positive comment on a Buffy fanfic (No Regrets") that I wrote ages ago, and posted on Ao3, I didn't respond back. I learned my lesson with Ao3, don't respond to comments (positive or negative) or add any new posts - or they will find me and attack me with emails about freezing my account and taking down my stuff and how I'm not following some arcane and incredibly difficult to understand rule or other. Much better to stay quiet. But it was a nice comment.
"That was a very profound read, really interesting in depth look at what becoming human might mean for Spike into Will.
Also seeing Buffy's own thoughts on the changes in her life
I like the way that you ended it, no neat bow, but with perhaps a friendship to continue and a bit of a nostalgic laugh also."
I still get kudos from that page from time to time, which makes me think maybe I'm touching people with my writing in a good way? That I'm reaching folks that I've never met and somehow making their lives a little better, or giving them something to connect to, or making them think a little bit differently about something? I think that's all any of us want to do sometimes, is just find a way to connect with one another, and obtain a positive emotional response? To share the love? And to some degree the pain - at least to the point in which it makes us feel less alone, and connected to something bigger? To know there's someone else somewhere out there wherever they may be that feels the same way we do about this?
Life can feel very lonely at times. I was about to say especially when you live alone - but I don't think that's true - I think it can feel that way regardless. We are all alone in our bodies. No one out there knows what it feels like to be in these bodies, struggling to find the words and phrases and hand gestures or movements to somehow communicate what we feel or are thinking. And we are editing ourselves constantly - trying not to hurt anyone or hurt ourselves.
I listened to Amy P Mitchell's video talk about herself - done several years ago. In it she talks about how our pasts don't define us. And then relates this horrific story about her childhood - so horrific that she took off at the age of 11, and went from one abusive situation to the next, until somehow as a single mother, she managed to get her undergrad degree and go on to Stanford Law School. She's trying to inspire others. I realized she was also trying to connect with others. But I got from her podcast how she too edits herself constantly and not always well.
I think art and culture often connects us - in a good way. Television shows, music, concerts, live theater, movies, books, readings, dance, and sporting events. A way to come together and discuss things that bring us joy. But all of that can also divide. Humans are complicated organisms after all.
5. I watched some television shows.
Finished The Bear S4. The Bear does for restaurants what The Pitt does for the ER, except it has more family interaction and really delves into the individual characters deeply. Also has quite the cast - three to four members of it - have taken off since the series aired. And multiple members have gotten Emmys. Season 4, unlike the previous seasons, is really comforting and provides a sense of closure for multiple character arcs - each of the characters manages to resolve the main issue plaguing them since the beginning of the series. I may re-watch it from the beginning in July. It's not long. Just 10 episodes per season. First season had 8. And each episode is about 30 minutes. They aren't long episodes. But jam packed with information and character development.
Shows how much you can do in a short period of time.
The dialogue is realistic - it gets across how hard it is to communicate to people. People talk over each other, they don't want to listen to one another, and are too caught up in their own shit to hear. Often projecting their problems onto the other person. And feeling alone as a result.
It can be frustrating at times to listen to the dialogue - I want to smack the characters. But it is hyper-realism, and so accurate. People do talk like that. I found S4 extremely satisfying. While I want a S5, I'll be happy with this season as the cap to a very good series, among the best I've seen in a very long time. It's definitely in the top ten of the 2020s.
And has earned every award it ever got. If you've not seen it yet? I highly recommend, it's on Hulu in the US. It's a realistic dramedy about an acclaimed NYC chef who returns to his hometown of Chicago after his older brother commits suicide to run and revamp the family restaurant that had previously been run (partially into the ground) by his brother. Each characters evolves through the series, and in a satisfying way. It is rather uplifting and inspiring in places. I adore it to pieces.
Andor - is unfortunately not as good. And I love science fiction and Star Wars (it was my first real fandom, well next to the Monkeys at any rate, and Batman and Robin, which I'm not completely sure counts). It is a different genre. But it is, alas, far too political for its own good - and a lot of time is wasted on plot mechanics, with the characters getting a bit lost in the shuffle. That's always been my problem with the sci-fi genre, actually, is that it either gets bogged down in world building or plot mechanics. This is one is a bit of both. And often loses its characters. Not helped by the fact that there are almost too many characters and interlocking story threads.
Add to that mess? The subject matter is hard to watch right now. It would have been easier to watch in 2022. Now, it's kind of painful. It's about a fascist dictatorship slowly encroaching on democratic territories and trying to turn everyone into workers, or part of the system, no real individual rights and conformity. People wear non-descript clothing, and the people in power are pale skinned (washed out) made worse by their white and black and grey uniforms, and lighting. They wear no colors at all.
It's kind of depressing? And it drags. The dialogue is mainly plot oriented, and the emotional moments, painful.
I know it's critically acclaimed, but I'm having difficulty with it. My attention keeps wandering. I had to rewind three times today, on account of going to sleep during it, attention wandering to other things, and just brain fog.
It's on Disney + in the US, and I don't recommend if you have brain fog, are depressed by the current political situation (and seriously who isn't?) and not really a devoted Star Wars fan?
I'll stick with it, but I may wait a bit.
I have both - Mac laptop at home, PC desktop at work. I flirt with getting another PC desktop for home, but I like the Mac virus protection better for home use and firewall. However, I need to get a new Mac and I don't want to. They are expensive.
2. Been fighting a sick headache all day long, no idea what is causing it. High blood pressure? (I took it - it's high, so took the diuretic which makes me woozy to bring it down). The weather? Blood sugar? Menopause? God knows. [ETA: It's better now - combination of headache (a generic excedrin), benedryl, and blood pressure diuretic, plus water, and a brownie. Seems to have done the trick.]
Also got off the computer and watched Poker Face on Peacock instead. Poker Face is basically Rian Johnson's take on Columbo, with Natasha Lyon playing the detective. We see it from the murder's perspective first, then from Natasha's (she's a down and out, scruffy, forty-something woman on the run from the mob (Ben Bratt), who has the ability to see the pattern in things. She is highly observant, and picks up things, and can see the pattern. It made her a great poker player - to the point that casinos kicked her out, and she got in trouble with mob bosses. This is the old style person on the run, solves cases across the country, takes no credit for helping people solve them, and gets away in the nick of time - traveling to another local. Basically the Fugitive meets Columbo by way of Murder She Wrote, with a spunky heroine in the lead.
The cases are rather clever as is her haphazard means of solving them. The mystery is how she solves the case. We already know the how, why, when and who of the whodunnit, what we don't know is how it will be solved. It's in a way a parlor room murder mystery - with the detective explaining to the murderer how they figured it out, escaping before the murderer kills them or someone else does, and leaving the murderer thinking they got away with it - when low and behold they don't. I like these better than police procedurals in that - they are more comforting. Less scary. And not as gruesome. Also no serial killers, torture, or rape. I can't watch the police procedurals any longer - because of the torture, rape, and serial killers. I like watching the solving of the puzzle, but could do without seeing the actual torture/rape and serial killer's perspective?
I recommend for anyone who likes episodic detective stories, with a parlor room mystery style. Also Natasha Lyon. It's currently on Peacock in the US.
3. I think I figured out why I hate conflict and arguing with folks online or off - it's because it brings out the worst in me? I don't like hurting people. Or tit for tat. I don't like getting condescending. Or cursing. Or fighting. It makes me physically ill. It raises my blood pressure. It tightens my chest cavity. And it causes anxiety.
Some people get off on it, I think? But I never have. It's why I realized I couldn't be a litigator - I didn't like fighting with people. And negotiations often fell in that category as well. I don't like arguments.
I never have.
Every time it happens - my hands shake so badly, I can't type. I lose sleep. And I feel ill. I'm a writer not a debater. It's probably why I didn't become a practicing attorney. I know how to debate - but I hate doing it.
4. Meant to work on my novel this weekend - sent the info to myself and everything, but alas, I just couldn't. No bandwidth capacity - me, not the computer. Frustrating, that. At this rate - it will never be completed, or so it seems. I have all these ideas, but no physical bandwidth to get them out and in writing.
In other writing related news? I got a positive comment on a Buffy fanfic (No Regrets") that I wrote ages ago, and posted on Ao3, I didn't respond back. I learned my lesson with Ao3, don't respond to comments (positive or negative) or add any new posts - or they will find me and attack me with emails about freezing my account and taking down my stuff and how I'm not following some arcane and incredibly difficult to understand rule or other. Much better to stay quiet. But it was a nice comment.
"That was a very profound read, really interesting in depth look at what becoming human might mean for Spike into Will.
Also seeing Buffy's own thoughts on the changes in her life
I like the way that you ended it, no neat bow, but with perhaps a friendship to continue and a bit of a nostalgic laugh also."
I still get kudos from that page from time to time, which makes me think maybe I'm touching people with my writing in a good way? That I'm reaching folks that I've never met and somehow making their lives a little better, or giving them something to connect to, or making them think a little bit differently about something? I think that's all any of us want to do sometimes, is just find a way to connect with one another, and obtain a positive emotional response? To share the love? And to some degree the pain - at least to the point in which it makes us feel less alone, and connected to something bigger? To know there's someone else somewhere out there wherever they may be that feels the same way we do about this?
Life can feel very lonely at times. I was about to say especially when you live alone - but I don't think that's true - I think it can feel that way regardless. We are all alone in our bodies. No one out there knows what it feels like to be in these bodies, struggling to find the words and phrases and hand gestures or movements to somehow communicate what we feel or are thinking. And we are editing ourselves constantly - trying not to hurt anyone or hurt ourselves.
I listened to Amy P Mitchell's video talk about herself - done several years ago. In it she talks about how our pasts don't define us. And then relates this horrific story about her childhood - so horrific that she took off at the age of 11, and went from one abusive situation to the next, until somehow as a single mother, she managed to get her undergrad degree and go on to Stanford Law School. She's trying to inspire others. I realized she was also trying to connect with others. But I got from her podcast how she too edits herself constantly and not always well.
I think art and culture often connects us - in a good way. Television shows, music, concerts, live theater, movies, books, readings, dance, and sporting events. A way to come together and discuss things that bring us joy. But all of that can also divide. Humans are complicated organisms after all.
5. I watched some television shows.
Finished The Bear S4. The Bear does for restaurants what The Pitt does for the ER, except it has more family interaction and really delves into the individual characters deeply. Also has quite the cast - three to four members of it - have taken off since the series aired. And multiple members have gotten Emmys. Season 4, unlike the previous seasons, is really comforting and provides a sense of closure for multiple character arcs - each of the characters manages to resolve the main issue plaguing them since the beginning of the series. I may re-watch it from the beginning in July. It's not long. Just 10 episodes per season. First season had 8. And each episode is about 30 minutes. They aren't long episodes. But jam packed with information and character development.
Shows how much you can do in a short period of time.
The dialogue is realistic - it gets across how hard it is to communicate to people. People talk over each other, they don't want to listen to one another, and are too caught up in their own shit to hear. Often projecting their problems onto the other person. And feeling alone as a result.
It can be frustrating at times to listen to the dialogue - I want to smack the characters. But it is hyper-realism, and so accurate. People do talk like that. I found S4 extremely satisfying. While I want a S5, I'll be happy with this season as the cap to a very good series, among the best I've seen in a very long time. It's definitely in the top ten of the 2020s.
And has earned every award it ever got. If you've not seen it yet? I highly recommend, it's on Hulu in the US. It's a realistic dramedy about an acclaimed NYC chef who returns to his hometown of Chicago after his older brother commits suicide to run and revamp the family restaurant that had previously been run (partially into the ground) by his brother. Each characters evolves through the series, and in a satisfying way. It is rather uplifting and inspiring in places. I adore it to pieces.
Andor - is unfortunately not as good. And I love science fiction and Star Wars (it was my first real fandom, well next to the Monkeys at any rate, and Batman and Robin, which I'm not completely sure counts). It is a different genre. But it is, alas, far too political for its own good - and a lot of time is wasted on plot mechanics, with the characters getting a bit lost in the shuffle. That's always been my problem with the sci-fi genre, actually, is that it either gets bogged down in world building or plot mechanics. This is one is a bit of both. And often loses its characters. Not helped by the fact that there are almost too many characters and interlocking story threads.
Add to that mess? The subject matter is hard to watch right now. It would have been easier to watch in 2022. Now, it's kind of painful. It's about a fascist dictatorship slowly encroaching on democratic territories and trying to turn everyone into workers, or part of the system, no real individual rights and conformity. People wear non-descript clothing, and the people in power are pale skinned (washed out) made worse by their white and black and grey uniforms, and lighting. They wear no colors at all.
It's kind of depressing? And it drags. The dialogue is mainly plot oriented, and the emotional moments, painful.
I know it's critically acclaimed, but I'm having difficulty with it. My attention keeps wandering. I had to rewind three times today, on account of going to sleep during it, attention wandering to other things, and just brain fog.
It's on Disney + in the US, and I don't recommend if you have brain fog, are depressed by the current political situation (and seriously who isn't?) and not really a devoted Star Wars fan?
I'll stick with it, but I may wait a bit.
no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 04:53 pm (UTC)I feel inundated.
Plus all the people who feel the need to pass their fears about onto us. Ugh.
I want escapism in my television. LOL!
no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 05:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-06-30 09:54 pm (UTC)