Tuesday is cold but hanging in there...
Dec. 9th, 2025 07:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatHad another PT appointment on Monday, which...went okay, I guess? While we were doing exercises, basically presses my leg against the patient bench with my head on pillows and at a semi-odd angle, the PT discovered I worked for the commuter rail. (I was still wearing my ID badge - forgot to remove it prior to PT).
PT: So when are they installing cup holders on the trains?
Me: Never
PT: And lowering the fares?
Me: Not happening, they don't have any money.
PT: How about new stations?
ME: You get Yaphank.
PT: That's not new, they are moving it, and when is it opening?
ME: Hopefully April. But I really don't know.
I have no control over these things.
Have I told you all how much I dislike doing PT? But it is working - the new exercises are. And the knee hurts less, so there's that. He basically told me that if you are over the age of 40, you probably have a torn minuscules, and don't know it. And the only think you can do is build up the muscles around the knee, and back, and strengthen them, and stretch them. Also ice the knee three times a day. (I have started that - and he's right. I wasn't doing it.) He's better than the previous PTs, so there's that - also with NYU Langone Ambulatory Care.
Work party and work in general made me want to walk out the door and retire today. But alas, I can't. I'm not positive, but I have a feeling Breaking Bad felt much the same way.
There were over fifty people in what amounted to a small conference room, with a huge table in the center - that folks were for a long time, avoiding like the plague. The only thing I could eat was the shrimp cocktail, the vegetarian sushi (basically celery and carrots wrapped in rice), macaroons (these were the fancy almond flour ones with the gel fillings), and chocolate. ( They had a hot food buffet which I chose to stay clear of - not worth the risk of cross contamination and they couldn't guarantee it was safe. ) They also had sugared soft drinks, and one that had artificial sweetner, which I tried and dumped out. (It was Ginger Ale with "zero sugar", basically had a sugar substitute - because it was sweeter than actual ginger ale.)
I don't do that well in large groups of people piled into small rooms, where I don't know a soul. I gave up and grabbed what I could eat and ate at my desk. Next year - I'll decline or maybe take that day off?
Today was my father's birthday - which FB decided to alert me to. Annoying considering my father was never on FB and disliked it. My father, had he lived, would have turned 90. He died in 2022 at the age of 86 just short of his 87th birthday.
So feeling a bit down and out today. Not helped by the bitter cold snap plaguing New York and the East Coast at the moment. It was 18 F degrees this morning, I think that is -6 C. Tomorrow it is supposed to get up to 45 and possibly rain, practically balmy.
****
Buffy S5 Rewatch
Episode S5.4 Out of My Mind
Definitely enjoying Angel more this go-around, probably because I've watched this season one too many times? That said, the dialogue in this episode for the most part is rather good. And there are some good bits here and there.
The episode is mainly about Riley and Spike.
I'd forgotten how incredibly annoying Riley is in S5. In this episode, Riley is more annoying than Harmony, and that's saying something. I was actually rooting for him to die. Graham: if he doesn't get there soon, Riley will die. Me: We should be so lucky.
Also, damn, while I always thought the Riley/Buffy conflict was similar to the Buffy/HUMAN!Angel conflict in Angel S1, I didn't realize that they had literally lifted the dialogue from I Will Always Remember You. Or might as well have. Poor Buffy, who can't remember what happened between her and Angel in IWARY, must be having an odd deja vue moment here? It's literally the same argument. Riley doesn't think she can love him if he's not "Super Riley" and if he can't fight along side her. Also, it's pointless if he can't protect her.
Buffy: Oh please. If I cared about that - I'd be dating Spike.
(Oh, Buffy, you shouldn't say such things - the writers are listening as is the audience.)
And Riley "literally" is told by his friends that his "mission" is elsewhere and not with Buffy. Angel was told this by the Oracles and Doyle, and he like Riley, also gets injured.
Graham to Riley: You're place isn't here. If you stay here, you're mission's boyfriend. (See, this is why Graham got on my nerves. Honestly, can the Initiative and the military in Buffy be any more sexist? I couldn't stand them. YMMV.)
Buffy to Riley: I need to check on my Mom, will you be okay here?
Riley : I suppose so...yeah, I'll be fine. (He looks like a puppy whose owner chose to wander off to play with other puppies, while he's recuperating from surgery. Honestly, it's not like she's running off to see Xander or Willow, she's concerned about her mother who was also in the hospital at the same time he was. I wanted to smack him.)
Out of My Mind also has Riley imply to Buffy that she isn't on the same page he is and not in love with him. She tells him that she's let her guard down with him in ways she hasn't with anyone else. The whole episode underlines Riley's insecurities. If Buffy would have been willing to join the military, and work side by side with Riley as GI Jane on missions...that's what Riley wants. He wants GI Jane. Buffy wants someone who will support her, and be there for her, but also have their own life. Riley wants GI Jane.
Xander tries to hint to Buffy that Riley is insecure, but confuses everyone including Anya, who thinks he's insecure about their relationship. Riley's insecure about his relationship with Buffy - because he wants her to make him the center of her world. He wants her to put him first above everyone else. He feels he has given up his life, his friends, his mission for her, and she hasn't. And Buffy can't do that. Actually no one should do that. That's not love. And Buffy never asked him to do it. The difficulty is - that Riley can't be in the military running missions and be with Buffy, or he doesn't know how to be. And he can't seem to find another calling.
Riley also is reeling from the number Prof Walsh pulled on him. This episode makes it clear that Riley and Buffy can't make it, and it's only a matter of time before they break up.
The other character - the episode focuses on, is Spike. Spike can't figure out why he is obsessed with Buffy, and is thinking maybe if I can just kill her all will be well? Dru dumped him because all she saw was the slayer hovering around him. So, he's thinking, Buffy's ruined my life, if it weren't for Buffy, I'd still have Dru. Also Buffy won't leave me alone, keeps insulting and punching me, and I can't get away from her. (Of course he could leave Sunnydale - but that would be too easy. Also not quite as entertaining.) Spike like Riley is at a cross-roads. So he hooks up with Harmony and tries to get the chip taken out - and it doesn't happen. (Why he puts up with Harmony, I'm not certain. Yes, she's beautiful, but she's also annoyingly daft. I'd have staked her by now. People are like, oh, how can you like Spike, he's so mean to Harmony. And I'm thinking, folks, I knew Harmony's in school - trust me on this, it's karmic justice. And he's being nice, anyone else would have staked her by now. Her minions definitely tried.) Spike is currently in the role of Wile E Coyote. And also a little annoying? It's clear that the writers aren't sure what to do with him either.
Out of My Mind may well apply to the writers?
That is until the end of the episode - where it is revealed to both the audience and Spike - that Spike is actually in love with Buffy. Game changer. (I did not ship Buffy with Spike at this point. Nor did I think they'd ever put them together, or that Spike would be redeemed. I've seen this trope done before - in various shows, prior to Buffy. And usually when the villain fell for the hero, he or she relentlessly pursued them - a little like the skunk Monsuier Le Peu pursues the reluctant cat, with little to no success. I expected it to culminate with Spike trying to catch her and fail. Kind of like Lex Luther and Lois Lane in Lois and Clark, or Batman and Catwoman in the old Batman series, or the Tim Burton flick.
I can see why James Marsters thought - Spike is in love with Buffy but of course he'll never get her. I thought the same thing. And frankly at this point in S5, I didn't want them together. Their kissing scenes in Something Blue and this episode didn't make me want them together. Both are kind of played for laughs, and are awkward. They do however - have more chemistry than Buffy and Riley do.
Another thing about S5 - we're no longer in the square television frame, we've graduated to letter box, everything looks bigger. Also the film stock is different, they've moved to digital. And more wide camera shots. Not as many close ups. Make up is cleaner. Spike's skin is whiter. Almost too white. His hair is more slicked back and also pure white, not yellow like it is in Season 2 and 3. Four also had better production value. The special effects are slightly better. They clearly have more money than they did previously - not only are the sets better, but so are the special effects, costumes, and makeup. Spike also has a more diversified wardrobe in S4 and 5. In this episode, he's wearing a rather nice silk shirt in the dream sequence, not the black t-shirt, and she can easily rip it off. Buffy continues to wear the red leather pants (which honestly can't be comfortable).
Willow's magic skills - are examined in each episode. How she expands on spell, and goes a bit beyond what she's been taught. Whedon is clearly building up Willow's dependency and addiction to magic. It's also kind of clear here - that she is going to lose Tara at some point. I'd forgotten how clear. I kind of knew they were going to kill off Tara, once it was clear that OZ was completely gone. Because they needed to flip Willow at some point. (You won't see this unless you look at the story thread and not just at Willow. You can't see the entire story, if you ship a character or relationship too hard? It's the whole not seeing the forest for the trees bit. It's why a lot of fans of the show didn't understand why Whedon killed Tara and didn't see it coming, they were too invested in the romance and/or characters, so couldn't see the overall story thread.)
In this episode, just a tiny scene between Willow and Tara walking in the cave indicates how Willow has fallen in love with magic, and appears to be in love with Tara - partly because Tara is magical and can enhance her own magic skills. Something that disturbs Tara. It's the first time Tara picks up on it - when Tara says, wait, you did this with the tiny little light spell that I taught you. And Willow shrugs it off as no big deal. It's hard to tell if Willow loves Tara for Tara.
Actually the best relationship in the episode and the most interesting to me is between Willow and Buffy, and their discussion about the French Revolution, and Robspierre. Indicating different perspectives. And that the two friends have a relationship that is outside of their own magical talents. When Buffy tells Riley no one knows her as well as he does, and she's told him things she hasn't told anyone else - I don't believe her any more than Riley does, mainly because I've not seen it. I have seen it with her and Willow, even to a lesser degree with her and Xander, but not with either Riley or Angel.
Overall, an interesting episode, if a tad clunky in places.
Off to bed and other things.
PT: So when are they installing cup holders on the trains?
Me: Never
PT: And lowering the fares?
Me: Not happening, they don't have any money.
PT: How about new stations?
ME: You get Yaphank.
PT: That's not new, they are moving it, and when is it opening?
ME: Hopefully April. But I really don't know.
I have no control over these things.
Have I told you all how much I dislike doing PT? But it is working - the new exercises are. And the knee hurts less, so there's that. He basically told me that if you are over the age of 40, you probably have a torn minuscules, and don't know it. And the only think you can do is build up the muscles around the knee, and back, and strengthen them, and stretch them. Also ice the knee three times a day. (I have started that - and he's right. I wasn't doing it.) He's better than the previous PTs, so there's that - also with NYU Langone Ambulatory Care.
Work party and work in general made me want to walk out the door and retire today. But alas, I can't. I'm not positive, but I have a feeling Breaking Bad felt much the same way.
There were over fifty people in what amounted to a small conference room, with a huge table in the center - that folks were for a long time, avoiding like the plague. The only thing I could eat was the shrimp cocktail, the vegetarian sushi (basically celery and carrots wrapped in rice), macaroons (these were the fancy almond flour ones with the gel fillings), and chocolate. ( They had a hot food buffet which I chose to stay clear of - not worth the risk of cross contamination and they couldn't guarantee it was safe. ) They also had sugared soft drinks, and one that had artificial sweetner, which I tried and dumped out. (It was Ginger Ale with "zero sugar", basically had a sugar substitute - because it was sweeter than actual ginger ale.)
I don't do that well in large groups of people piled into small rooms, where I don't know a soul. I gave up and grabbed what I could eat and ate at my desk. Next year - I'll decline or maybe take that day off?
Today was my father's birthday - which FB decided to alert me to. Annoying considering my father was never on FB and disliked it. My father, had he lived, would have turned 90. He died in 2022 at the age of 86 just short of his 87th birthday.
So feeling a bit down and out today. Not helped by the bitter cold snap plaguing New York and the East Coast at the moment. It was 18 F degrees this morning, I think that is -6 C. Tomorrow it is supposed to get up to 45 and possibly rain, practically balmy.
****
Buffy S5 Rewatch
Episode S5.4 Out of My Mind
Definitely enjoying Angel more this go-around, probably because I've watched this season one too many times? That said, the dialogue in this episode for the most part is rather good. And there are some good bits here and there.
The episode is mainly about Riley and Spike.
I'd forgotten how incredibly annoying Riley is in S5. In this episode, Riley is more annoying than Harmony, and that's saying something. I was actually rooting for him to die. Graham: if he doesn't get there soon, Riley will die. Me: We should be so lucky.
Also, damn, while I always thought the Riley/Buffy conflict was similar to the Buffy/HUMAN!Angel conflict in Angel S1, I didn't realize that they had literally lifted the dialogue from I Will Always Remember You. Or might as well have. Poor Buffy, who can't remember what happened between her and Angel in IWARY, must be having an odd deja vue moment here? It's literally the same argument. Riley doesn't think she can love him if he's not "Super Riley" and if he can't fight along side her. Also, it's pointless if he can't protect her.
Buffy: Oh please. If I cared about that - I'd be dating Spike.
(Oh, Buffy, you shouldn't say such things - the writers are listening as is the audience.)
And Riley "literally" is told by his friends that his "mission" is elsewhere and not with Buffy. Angel was told this by the Oracles and Doyle, and he like Riley, also gets injured.
Graham to Riley: You're place isn't here. If you stay here, you're mission's boyfriend. (See, this is why Graham got on my nerves. Honestly, can the Initiative and the military in Buffy be any more sexist? I couldn't stand them. YMMV.)
Buffy to Riley: I need to check on my Mom, will you be okay here?
Riley : I suppose so...yeah, I'll be fine. (He looks like a puppy whose owner chose to wander off to play with other puppies, while he's recuperating from surgery. Honestly, it's not like she's running off to see Xander or Willow, she's concerned about her mother who was also in the hospital at the same time he was. I wanted to smack him.)
Out of My Mind also has Riley imply to Buffy that she isn't on the same page he is and not in love with him. She tells him that she's let her guard down with him in ways she hasn't with anyone else. The whole episode underlines Riley's insecurities. If Buffy would have been willing to join the military, and work side by side with Riley as GI Jane on missions...that's what Riley wants. He wants GI Jane. Buffy wants someone who will support her, and be there for her, but also have their own life. Riley wants GI Jane.
Xander tries to hint to Buffy that Riley is insecure, but confuses everyone including Anya, who thinks he's insecure about their relationship. Riley's insecure about his relationship with Buffy - because he wants her to make him the center of her world. He wants her to put him first above everyone else. He feels he has given up his life, his friends, his mission for her, and she hasn't. And Buffy can't do that. Actually no one should do that. That's not love. And Buffy never asked him to do it. The difficulty is - that Riley can't be in the military running missions and be with Buffy, or he doesn't know how to be. And he can't seem to find another calling.
Riley also is reeling from the number Prof Walsh pulled on him. This episode makes it clear that Riley and Buffy can't make it, and it's only a matter of time before they break up.
The other character - the episode focuses on, is Spike. Spike can't figure out why he is obsessed with Buffy, and is thinking maybe if I can just kill her all will be well? Dru dumped him because all she saw was the slayer hovering around him. So, he's thinking, Buffy's ruined my life, if it weren't for Buffy, I'd still have Dru. Also Buffy won't leave me alone, keeps insulting and punching me, and I can't get away from her. (Of course he could leave Sunnydale - but that would be too easy. Also not quite as entertaining.) Spike like Riley is at a cross-roads. So he hooks up with Harmony and tries to get the chip taken out - and it doesn't happen. (Why he puts up with Harmony, I'm not certain. Yes, she's beautiful, but she's also annoyingly daft. I'd have staked her by now. People are like, oh, how can you like Spike, he's so mean to Harmony. And I'm thinking, folks, I knew Harmony's in school - trust me on this, it's karmic justice. And he's being nice, anyone else would have staked her by now. Her minions definitely tried.) Spike is currently in the role of Wile E Coyote. And also a little annoying? It's clear that the writers aren't sure what to do with him either.
Out of My Mind may well apply to the writers?
That is until the end of the episode - where it is revealed to both the audience and Spike - that Spike is actually in love with Buffy. Game changer. (I did not ship Buffy with Spike at this point. Nor did I think they'd ever put them together, or that Spike would be redeemed. I've seen this trope done before - in various shows, prior to Buffy. And usually when the villain fell for the hero, he or she relentlessly pursued them - a little like the skunk Monsuier Le Peu pursues the reluctant cat, with little to no success. I expected it to culminate with Spike trying to catch her and fail. Kind of like Lex Luther and Lois Lane in Lois and Clark, or Batman and Catwoman in the old Batman series, or the Tim Burton flick.
I can see why James Marsters thought - Spike is in love with Buffy but of course he'll never get her. I thought the same thing. And frankly at this point in S5, I didn't want them together. Their kissing scenes in Something Blue and this episode didn't make me want them together. Both are kind of played for laughs, and are awkward. They do however - have more chemistry than Buffy and Riley do.
Another thing about S5 - we're no longer in the square television frame, we've graduated to letter box, everything looks bigger. Also the film stock is different, they've moved to digital. And more wide camera shots. Not as many close ups. Make up is cleaner. Spike's skin is whiter. Almost too white. His hair is more slicked back and also pure white, not yellow like it is in Season 2 and 3. Four also had better production value. The special effects are slightly better. They clearly have more money than they did previously - not only are the sets better, but so are the special effects, costumes, and makeup. Spike also has a more diversified wardrobe in S4 and 5. In this episode, he's wearing a rather nice silk shirt in the dream sequence, not the black t-shirt, and she can easily rip it off. Buffy continues to wear the red leather pants (which honestly can't be comfortable).
Willow's magic skills - are examined in each episode. How she expands on spell, and goes a bit beyond what she's been taught. Whedon is clearly building up Willow's dependency and addiction to magic. It's also kind of clear here - that she is going to lose Tara at some point. I'd forgotten how clear. I kind of knew they were going to kill off Tara, once it was clear that OZ was completely gone. Because they needed to flip Willow at some point. (You won't see this unless you look at the story thread and not just at Willow. You can't see the entire story, if you ship a character or relationship too hard? It's the whole not seeing the forest for the trees bit. It's why a lot of fans of the show didn't understand why Whedon killed Tara and didn't see it coming, they were too invested in the romance and/or characters, so couldn't see the overall story thread.)
In this episode, just a tiny scene between Willow and Tara walking in the cave indicates how Willow has fallen in love with magic, and appears to be in love with Tara - partly because Tara is magical and can enhance her own magic skills. Something that disturbs Tara. It's the first time Tara picks up on it - when Tara says, wait, you did this with the tiny little light spell that I taught you. And Willow shrugs it off as no big deal. It's hard to tell if Willow loves Tara for Tara.
Actually the best relationship in the episode and the most interesting to me is between Willow and Buffy, and their discussion about the French Revolution, and Robspierre. Indicating different perspectives. And that the two friends have a relationship that is outside of their own magical talents. When Buffy tells Riley no one knows her as well as he does, and she's told him things she hasn't told anyone else - I don't believe her any more than Riley does, mainly because I've not seen it. I have seen it with her and Willow, even to a lesser degree with her and Xander, but not with either Riley or Angel.
Overall, an interesting episode, if a tad clunky in places.
Off to bed and other things.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-10 08:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-12-10 01:53 pm (UTC)I really despise buffets. I try to avoid them. It's why I don't do potlucks or dinners at my church either, everything is buffet style.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-10 01:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-12-10 02:03 pm (UTC)If you fall outside of the romance genre, there's not going to be a happy ending. And if it is a television serial or soap, no happing ending - they go for the more realistic ending actually.
It's very rare that you get one - Farscape did, but not initially. Star Trek kind of did. But it really is rare for most television series.
Also, Whedon like RT Davies, wasn't a romance writer, nor were his collaborators. Horror, action, noir, sci-fantasy, and comedy - yes. Romance not really. They didn't really write their romantic relationships from a "romance" perspective or as the central focus, but more as part of their characters general evolution? I personally prefer that to a "romance" - and the HEA. Mainly because its more interesting to me, and has more complexity. I didn't want Buffy, the Doctor, Angel, etc to have a romantic HEA, so it didn't really bother me that they didn't. It felt more relatable and organic to me that they didn't. It also is why these shows stand out over the shows that went that route - they are more open ended, and I prefer a more open-ended narrative.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-10 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-12-12 01:52 am (UTC)I'm reminded once again of why I skip these things.