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shadowkatSlightly better day, but felt ill and headachy throughout most of it, even though I did manage to clock seven and half hours of sleep for once. Have come to the conclusion that I need to fix my eating habits, because at the moment? I'm basically punishing myself with food. Hello, my name is s'kat and I am a compulsive eater, how are you? Sigh. Maybe a food diary will help?
A bunch of Doctor Who episodes are sitting on the DVR. Latest was Midnight - which I'm curious about, because it got lauded by the portion of my flist that is crazy about the series, much in the same way I was crazy about BTVS. The last time they went nuts over a Doctor Who episode it was "Blink" and they were right about that one. It was brilliant, and notably not written by Russel T. Davies, but by Stephen Moffat (I believe). Don't quite share that same level of affection for Doctor Who, they do. It's fun, I enjoy watching it. But, that's where it ends. The fannishness over BSG, I understood. Doctor Who (with the exception of Blink and Family of Blood)? Not so much.
Speaking of Whoverse, it is interesting that James Marsters plays basically the same character on Torchwood, but without nearly the same level of chemistry and appeal that he played it on Buffy. While I'm tempted to blame the actor, I know too much about the television process to do so. (That and I've seen far too many episodes of Torchwood, great television it ain't. Fun cult tv, sure. But it ain't memorable folks. And Russel T. Davies is well to Joss Whedon, what Stephanie Meyer is to JK Rowling. Marsters did state once that it was the writing and directing on that series that made him look great not him. Now that I've seen him in a wide variety of other roles (the best interestingly enough villians) I tend to agree.)
By the way, I'm not really fannish about any tv show or book or movie at the moment. So, it's NOT just Doctor Who. Feel much the same way about Grey's, BSG, Ugly Betty, Lost, the list goes on and on and on. I watch far too much tv for my own good - what can I say? I *really* adore the medium. By fannish - I mean no compulsion to read fanfic, rewatch episodes or watch more than once, buy DVD's, or fan magazines, or read essays and discuss. Sort of miss that compulsion in a way. It was a nice way of coping with stress, much healthier than compulsive eating. Not that I didn't do both.
Quick meme on fannishness:
1. Attitude towards own fannishness?
Embarrassed, prefer not to admit to it.
2. Things been sort of fannish about?
Twin Peaks (blame Kidbro for making me tape all the episodes for him), BTVS, Angel (last two seasons, and last five episodes of third), Firefly (well sort of), X-men comic books, Star Wars (go ahead, laugh), Indiana Jones, BattleStar Galatica (version 1) and for the first two seasons version 2 (still love the show, just not fannish),
Battle of the Planets (I had a crush on Mark - yes, I know he was animated), Kimba (crush on Kimba at the age of 5, and yes, animated), Robin Hood (the animated Disney version), The Monkees (huge crush on Davey Jones - which is odd considering the man was so short, did not realize how short until I met him in person - of course he used to be a jockey, so sort of makes sense).
3. Celebrities been fannish over?
Sigh, very embarrassing, not to mention unproductive since they usually don't appear in all that much causing much frustration and annoyance.
Anthony Stewart Head (fell for him when he played the American in Chess in 1988 on the London Stage - and yes that was him, he subbed for his brother who was sick at the time - I like his take better, got his brother on the CD), Davey Jones (who was only in the Monkees), Jack Wild (HR&F Puff'nStuff and Oliver), James Marsters (Buffy, Angel, and a lot of really lacklustre roles...which have made me finally throw in the towel and give up. I think the last straw was PS: I Love You. For Head, it was Man Thing or something like that.), Hugh Jackman (a bit more luck here, until Christian Bale blew him out of the water). Forget the rest...been forgetting stuff lately, methinks my brain is making room for work-related crap so is deleting the unnecessary files.
4. Fandom?
Bewildering. Still not quite sure what to make of it or my reactions to it, except that the internet has managed to make it more accessible and easier to do. Or I wouldn't have fallen into it when I did.
5. What brought you into your first experience with fandom?
Well, it depends on what you count. I surfed Buffy websites first in 1998, when Angel had turned into Angelus, and I was antsy at work. Then in 2001, after Spike and Buffy did it, scanned spoiler sites, and got obsessed. Yes, Spike/Buffy brought me to the discussion boards and fandom. I seriously doubt I'd have ever written an essay or posted on a site if it weren't for that odd relationship occurring when it did and at that specific point in time. Another thing to blame Spuffy for, my presence on lj - which was a direct result of posting on the ATPO board, which was a direct result of posting on B C&S, and in turn a direct result of bugging the spoiler guy site with speculation and discussion of the show along with a guy I met at a party, and in turn a direct result of scanning Spuffy websites from that site as well. All of which were in turn a direct result of the mood I was in due to a series of traumatic events that occurred between August 14,2001 and December 2001. In short if it weren't for 9/11, a crazy boss, an insane workplace, a trip to Turkey, BTVS, Spike/Buffy sex, BC&S, Yoda who brought a Dawn post I did to ATPO, we would never have met. Crazy, huh?? (By the way, I didn't write/post that much about S/B or Spike to start, because everyone else did and there was a huge group of people who hated them, so I figured that the best thing to write about was what no one else was at the time - which was Buffy/Willow, Xander, Giles, and Dawn. Since I loved everyone, it wasn't a problem. I also had a theory about what the writers were doing and needed to write it out - since it took my attention away from problems I could not solve and were currently traumatizing me in my own life at the time. In BTVS S6 - I saw a metaphor for what I was going through that I could not find anywhere else. It was, as a friend at the time told me, a sort of therapeutic/cathertic experience watching the series - and posting online, a sort of group therapy, with like-minded souls, many of which appeared to be going through some of the same or related issues. Cultural pursuits can, surprisingly enough, bring people together in a way that is healthy and productive, even if on its face it seems to be a bit compulsive and crazy to outsiders. )
6. You mention the thing that brought you into fandom, why were you into that thing?
Spike/Buffy or Spuffy?? - sigh, I don't completely know. It's not why you think, I can tell you that much. But then it seldom is. We really don't know people as well as we think we do. If you weren't into it, then you probably can't understand. If you were? I'm willing to bet we weren't into it for the same reasons.
I liked the fact that the relationship was in some ways impossible, but not in the romeo/juliet, somewhat cliche, star-crossed lovers - I'll love you but I can't touch you or be with you sort of way - which has been the case since Dracula and Mina (movie versions that romanticize Dracula not Stoker's Book in which he was nauseatingly evil), Romeo and Juliet, and the list goes on ad naseum.
I also liked the fact that the two lovers were evenly matched. They could literally kill each other or out-insult each other, or out-think each other. Both were the same height, same build, and similar in coloring. And they called each other on their crap, with blunt honesty, no protecting of the feelings. It was almost all fourplay. Half the time you didn't know if they'd kill each other, screw each other, love each other, hate each other, or just be. It was the most unpredictable relationship, even though it always had a predictable conclusion - they could not end up together.
Also the anti-hero/hero dynamic was sort of cool, even though it had been done previously with Angel, but not quite in the same way. Angle/Buffy was more the old fashioned star-crossed lover romance which you see in most gothic novels. And there was a caretaker aspect to the villian/anti-hero (Spike) who becomes redeemed through that aspect partly, that I found oddly appealing, maybe because I'm not a caretaker personality and don't like to be taken care of?
The relationship was fascinating to me. I didn't want them to end up together, yet I sort of did at the same time. I was ultimately comforted by the fact that they didn't and she wandered off into the sunset by herself, without some guy, like in most fairy tales. Yet, at the same time, I like the idea they might reunite some day, have hot sex, and get married, or not, and just wander their separate ways. Their relationship as portrayed on screen was I think, amongst the most complex relationships on the series and because of that complexity the most controversial. It wasn't simple. You could not file it away. And it did offend. It also played with gender, and gender violence in some disturbing but at the same time oddly realistic ways.
I know there are people reading this who find the relationship disgusting and rephrensible, and I know you probably don't understand how I could have liked it. All I can say to that is - does it matter? No. It doesn't. The show's over and it was just a show. It's not like the presidential election - where if X wins, we may end up in hell..or close to it. The stakes aren't that high. And what we love in culture is in the end, a private thing, understood largely only by ourselves. Which I guess is why I find the whole fandom thing bewildering - and frustrating - it's a bunch of people who are nuts over the same thing, but not necessarily for the same reasons and who in some weird ways aren't even watching it in the same way or perceiving it in the same way and spend most of their time desperately trying to get others to see it or understand it the way they do or at least share their personal experience of it, assuming of course such a thing is even possible. *As an aside, I wonder if this changes any if you watch the show with others or groups of people? I think it does. I think others can influence how we perceive things by their mere presence or their reviews prior to watching. Which is why I stopped reading tv episode reviews prior to seeing a show or reading spoilers. (ugh, this is what happens when I don't quit while I'm ahead. )
7. Are you a cinemaphile? (Cinemaphile is I think a word I just made up to mean a film buff or person who appreciates film as high art or quality and critiques it, as opposed to you know, just plunking down and watching whatever.) Nope. I like to just watch movies and occassionally write long rambling reviews and critiques. I think if I was forced to do it for a living, I would stop enjoying it. Also am a moody watcher - in that I might love a particular movie one day, due to the mood I'm in, yet if I saw it another day or week later, I might despise it. Am this way about books and tv shows to. Which to the objective observer must make me appear to be a tad indecisive or wishy-washy at times, since I keep changing my mind. (As I think someone once stated in a post - "I'm agnostic about my interests/choices" or something like that - I adored the phrase so much that I acutally remembered it, but am not sure who said it, I think it was ponygirl, but I could be wrong.) Example of moodiness: I was a strong B/A shipper until 1999. Then stopped completely. There are other examples of moodiness, but I'm drawing a blank at the moment, plus headach is drifting back.
Since sick headache is drifting back and am tired, will end this now. (Stupid emoticons are limiting, I wanted icky or headachey, not just sick.)
A bunch of Doctor Who episodes are sitting on the DVR. Latest was Midnight - which I'm curious about, because it got lauded by the portion of my flist that is crazy about the series, much in the same way I was crazy about BTVS. The last time they went nuts over a Doctor Who episode it was "Blink" and they were right about that one. It was brilliant, and notably not written by Russel T. Davies, but by Stephen Moffat (I believe). Don't quite share that same level of affection for Doctor Who, they do. It's fun, I enjoy watching it. But, that's where it ends. The fannishness over BSG, I understood. Doctor Who (with the exception of Blink and Family of Blood)? Not so much.
Speaking of Whoverse, it is interesting that James Marsters plays basically the same character on Torchwood, but without nearly the same level of chemistry and appeal that he played it on Buffy. While I'm tempted to blame the actor, I know too much about the television process to do so. (That and I've seen far too many episodes of Torchwood, great television it ain't. Fun cult tv, sure. But it ain't memorable folks. And Russel T. Davies is well to Joss Whedon, what Stephanie Meyer is to JK Rowling. Marsters did state once that it was the writing and directing on that series that made him look great not him. Now that I've seen him in a wide variety of other roles (the best interestingly enough villians) I tend to agree.)
By the way, I'm not really fannish about any tv show or book or movie at the moment. So, it's NOT just Doctor Who. Feel much the same way about Grey's, BSG, Ugly Betty, Lost, the list goes on and on and on. I watch far too much tv for my own good - what can I say? I *really* adore the medium. By fannish - I mean no compulsion to read fanfic, rewatch episodes or watch more than once, buy DVD's, or fan magazines, or read essays and discuss. Sort of miss that compulsion in a way. It was a nice way of coping with stress, much healthier than compulsive eating. Not that I didn't do both.
Quick meme on fannishness:
1. Attitude towards own fannishness?
Embarrassed, prefer not to admit to it.
2. Things been sort of fannish about?
Twin Peaks (blame Kidbro for making me tape all the episodes for him), BTVS, Angel (last two seasons, and last five episodes of third), Firefly (well sort of), X-men comic books, Star Wars (go ahead, laugh), Indiana Jones, BattleStar Galatica (version 1) and for the first two seasons version 2 (still love the show, just not fannish),
Battle of the Planets (I had a crush on Mark - yes, I know he was animated), Kimba (crush on Kimba at the age of 5, and yes, animated), Robin Hood (the animated Disney version), The Monkees (huge crush on Davey Jones - which is odd considering the man was so short, did not realize how short until I met him in person - of course he used to be a jockey, so sort of makes sense).
3. Celebrities been fannish over?
Sigh, very embarrassing, not to mention unproductive since they usually don't appear in all that much causing much frustration and annoyance.
Anthony Stewart Head (fell for him when he played the American in Chess in 1988 on the London Stage - and yes that was him, he subbed for his brother who was sick at the time - I like his take better, got his brother on the CD), Davey Jones (who was only in the Monkees), Jack Wild (HR&F Puff'nStuff and Oliver), James Marsters (Buffy, Angel, and a lot of really lacklustre roles...which have made me finally throw in the towel and give up. I think the last straw was PS: I Love You. For Head, it was Man Thing or something like that.), Hugh Jackman (a bit more luck here, until Christian Bale blew him out of the water). Forget the rest...been forgetting stuff lately, methinks my brain is making room for work-related crap so is deleting the unnecessary files.
4. Fandom?
Bewildering. Still not quite sure what to make of it or my reactions to it, except that the internet has managed to make it more accessible and easier to do. Or I wouldn't have fallen into it when I did.
5. What brought you into your first experience with fandom?
Well, it depends on what you count. I surfed Buffy websites first in 1998, when Angel had turned into Angelus, and I was antsy at work. Then in 2001, after Spike and Buffy did it, scanned spoiler sites, and got obsessed. Yes, Spike/Buffy brought me to the discussion boards and fandom. I seriously doubt I'd have ever written an essay or posted on a site if it weren't for that odd relationship occurring when it did and at that specific point in time. Another thing to blame Spuffy for, my presence on lj - which was a direct result of posting on the ATPO board, which was a direct result of posting on B C&S, and in turn a direct result of bugging the spoiler guy site with speculation and discussion of the show along with a guy I met at a party, and in turn a direct result of scanning Spuffy websites from that site as well. All of which were in turn a direct result of the mood I was in due to a series of traumatic events that occurred between August 14,2001 and December 2001. In short if it weren't for 9/11, a crazy boss, an insane workplace, a trip to Turkey, BTVS, Spike/Buffy sex, BC&S, Yoda who brought a Dawn post I did to ATPO, we would never have met. Crazy, huh?? (By the way, I didn't write/post that much about S/B or Spike to start, because everyone else did and there was a huge group of people who hated them, so I figured that the best thing to write about was what no one else was at the time - which was Buffy/Willow, Xander, Giles, and Dawn. Since I loved everyone, it wasn't a problem. I also had a theory about what the writers were doing and needed to write it out - since it took my attention away from problems I could not solve and were currently traumatizing me in my own life at the time. In BTVS S6 - I saw a metaphor for what I was going through that I could not find anywhere else. It was, as a friend at the time told me, a sort of therapeutic/cathertic experience watching the series - and posting online, a sort of group therapy, with like-minded souls, many of which appeared to be going through some of the same or related issues. Cultural pursuits can, surprisingly enough, bring people together in a way that is healthy and productive, even if on its face it seems to be a bit compulsive and crazy to outsiders. )
6. You mention the thing that brought you into fandom, why were you into that thing?
Spike/Buffy or Spuffy?? - sigh, I don't completely know. It's not why you think, I can tell you that much. But then it seldom is. We really don't know people as well as we think we do. If you weren't into it, then you probably can't understand. If you were? I'm willing to bet we weren't into it for the same reasons.
I liked the fact that the relationship was in some ways impossible, but not in the romeo/juliet, somewhat cliche, star-crossed lovers - I'll love you but I can't touch you or be with you sort of way - which has been the case since Dracula and Mina (movie versions that romanticize Dracula not Stoker's Book in which he was nauseatingly evil), Romeo and Juliet, and the list goes on ad naseum.
I also liked the fact that the two lovers were evenly matched. They could literally kill each other or out-insult each other, or out-think each other. Both were the same height, same build, and similar in coloring. And they called each other on their crap, with blunt honesty, no protecting of the feelings. It was almost all fourplay. Half the time you didn't know if they'd kill each other, screw each other, love each other, hate each other, or just be. It was the most unpredictable relationship, even though it always had a predictable conclusion - they could not end up together.
Also the anti-hero/hero dynamic was sort of cool, even though it had been done previously with Angel, but not quite in the same way. Angle/Buffy was more the old fashioned star-crossed lover romance which you see in most gothic novels. And there was a caretaker aspect to the villian/anti-hero (Spike) who becomes redeemed through that aspect partly, that I found oddly appealing, maybe because I'm not a caretaker personality and don't like to be taken care of?
The relationship was fascinating to me. I didn't want them to end up together, yet I sort of did at the same time. I was ultimately comforted by the fact that they didn't and she wandered off into the sunset by herself, without some guy, like in most fairy tales. Yet, at the same time, I like the idea they might reunite some day, have hot sex, and get married, or not, and just wander their separate ways. Their relationship as portrayed on screen was I think, amongst the most complex relationships on the series and because of that complexity the most controversial. It wasn't simple. You could not file it away. And it did offend. It also played with gender, and gender violence in some disturbing but at the same time oddly realistic ways.
I know there are people reading this who find the relationship disgusting and rephrensible, and I know you probably don't understand how I could have liked it. All I can say to that is - does it matter? No. It doesn't. The show's over and it was just a show. It's not like the presidential election - where if X wins, we may end up in hell..or close to it. The stakes aren't that high. And what we love in culture is in the end, a private thing, understood largely only by ourselves. Which I guess is why I find the whole fandom thing bewildering - and frustrating - it's a bunch of people who are nuts over the same thing, but not necessarily for the same reasons and who in some weird ways aren't even watching it in the same way or perceiving it in the same way and spend most of their time desperately trying to get others to see it or understand it the way they do or at least share their personal experience of it, assuming of course such a thing is even possible. *As an aside, I wonder if this changes any if you watch the show with others or groups of people? I think it does. I think others can influence how we perceive things by their mere presence or their reviews prior to watching. Which is why I stopped reading tv episode reviews prior to seeing a show or reading spoilers. (ugh, this is what happens when I don't quit while I'm ahead. )
7. Are you a cinemaphile? (Cinemaphile is I think a word I just made up to mean a film buff or person who appreciates film as high art or quality and critiques it, as opposed to you know, just plunking down and watching whatever.) Nope. I like to just watch movies and occassionally write long rambling reviews and critiques. I think if I was forced to do it for a living, I would stop enjoying it. Also am a moody watcher - in that I might love a particular movie one day, due to the mood I'm in, yet if I saw it another day or week later, I might despise it. Am this way about books and tv shows to. Which to the objective observer must make me appear to be a tad indecisive or wishy-washy at times, since I keep changing my mind. (As I think someone once stated in a post - "I'm agnostic about my interests/choices" or something like that - I adored the phrase so much that I acutally remembered it, but am not sure who said it, I think it was ponygirl, but I could be wrong.) Example of moodiness: I was a strong B/A shipper until 1999. Then stopped completely. There are other examples of moodiness, but I'm drawing a blank at the moment, plus headach is drifting back.
Since sick headache is drifting back and am tired, will end this now. (Stupid emoticons are limiting, I wanted icky or headachey, not just sick.)
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no subject
Date: 2008-07-12 04:01 am (UTC)I (as you know) watch way too much TV, and I seem to be more susceptible to falling in love with shows than I ever was before: in the last few months I bought both Dexter and Burn Notice because I seriously want to rewatch the episodes! I did look for some fan fic, but the little I found was pitiful... so I'm not going there.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-12 02:46 pm (UTC)Manchild disappointed me a bit, I wanted more of ASH than I got. I also watched M15 for ASH. It was the only episode of M15 that I watched.
Understand the love for Dexter and Burn Notice. Both are shows that I've enjoyed - they have such strong and complex characters. Characters with serious bite. Really looking forward to Dexter S2, when it comes out on DVD and I can rent via netflix.
no subject
Date: 2008-07-12 04:40 pm (UTC)Anyway it never was, but I would be charmed by the snappy dialogue and end up enjoying the show.... Until one day I enjoyed it so intensely I was all: what is this show? I need to schedule it into my day!
I was lucky enough to have already seen Dexter's season 2 (illegal downloads from a friend in Greece, I don't even know how she gets this stuff! LOL) and I am definitely going to buy the DVDs the second they are for sale! They continue to have have intensely character driving episodes, I really think it is a remarkable show.