Writing and other stuff
Oct. 4th, 2009 06:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatIt's a pretty day, sunny and warm, with a nice breeze. I find myself awash with envy for people who are rich enough that they can afford a balcony or deck or backyard in the city.
All I've got is a measley fire escape, which I've tried in the past with little success. Did take a walk though, picked up watercolor and drawing supplies, a small scketch/writing notebook, chocolate, and groceries. Streets were unduly crowded with strollers (often double) and groups of people, with kids dashing back and forth between the legs, cars, and bikes. Decided not to attempt the Atlantic Antic - NYC's largest street fair, which has about 7 million people visit it each year. It takes place all along Atlantic Avenue - which is about ten - fifteen blocks from where I live. Bands, food, street fair...and way too many people.
This morning on the way to the farmer's market, a film crew was literally perched on my front stoop. They were filming a scene in the sidewalk and stoop next door. The camera was perched in front of my gate. I have no idea what film they were doing. Except that the old guy looked vaguely familar, reminded me a little of Roman Polanski, which is of course impossible. Could have Harvey Keitel. I've no idea. Suppose I could have asked them what film or tv show they were doing, but I just did not care. I've become jaded after 14 years of living in NYC and having to go around film crews blocking my path. They are more annoying than interesting. In fact, in my head I've begun to equate them with cockroaches and pigeons, a necessary evil of the NYC landscape. Interesting but also annoying. I doubt this was anything major since there were no police blockades or heavy security.
Have gotten abysmally little done this weekend. Spent most of it reading - a fanfic online. Was rather good and interesting. Quite brilliant in places. And No porn in sight. And multi-character. With lots of interesting edges. Only flaw is well, a personal pet peeve that I feel compelled to share in the hopes that people will read this and stop doing it. I've seen it in pulp novels and thought, damn, doesn't anybody edit these things anymore? It's simple to fix.
A rule you should never break on pain of death: use the character's name or the personal pronouns such as he, she, it, etc. Do not use a descriptor word such as jock, vampire, fireman, blond, brunette, Watcher, witch, demon or slayer unless you are in the head of someone who does not know the character's name and only knows their profession.
Examples: As a fireman, Dave was used to saving people, but Joey was different. Joey and Dave shared a history. She had cheated on him with his best friend. Their divorce had been brutal and now she had full custody of his kids and wasn't even granting him any visitation. Dave did not know why she was in the burning building and he realized how easy it would be to let her burn. The building was about to collaspe. No one else knew she was even in it. But, Dave went back into the burning building to save Joey. He found her lying half unconscious on the floor in front of him. Dave bent down to pick her up. Joey grabbed the fireman's shoulders as he lifted and took her out of the burning building.
Okay, who took her out? Dave? Or the fireman? See how it takes you out of the narrative??
Joey lay in a heap on the floor, her lungs filled with smoke. Out of the darkness, a huge man in a firefighter's outfit appeared. Joey grabbed the fireman's shoulder as he lifted her and took her out of the burning building.
In that sentence - it is appropriate to use the word fireman. Joey doesn't know who it is.
And we are in Joey's point of view.
Another example: Spike was happy until Willow said, "Sure Buffy, go out with Spike and patrol, I'll be fine. It is not like I'll be doing anything dangerous while you are away." The vampire clenched the muscels in his jaw, but followed Buffy without comment.
The use of the word vampire takes me out of the story. I am going at a clip and the suddenly I hit the stop sign - "the vampire". I know Spike is a vampire. The reader knows this. You the writer do not need to remind us. And we are in Spike's point of view. Would you think of yourself as say the blond or the teacher or the writer? (The writer clenched her jaw as she went back to work on her post.) I don't think so.
I will share a secret with you that was taught to me ages ago and repeatedly - do not be afraid of repeating the following words: said, he, she, the name of a character...readers jump over them. They expect them. Personal pronouns are our friends. Use them frequently. They do not sound repetitive. So for that matter is the word, said. It works better to say, Spike said, "Bugger all." Then to state: Spike cursed, "bugger all." Said is fine. Cursed is just repetitive. When you use too many descriptors you take the reader out of your story.
These are little things that are relatively easy to fix. I've had more than one brilliant piece of fanfiction ruined for me, because of those little things.
All I've got is a measley fire escape, which I've tried in the past with little success. Did take a walk though, picked up watercolor and drawing supplies, a small scketch/writing notebook, chocolate, and groceries. Streets were unduly crowded with strollers (often double) and groups of people, with kids dashing back and forth between the legs, cars, and bikes. Decided not to attempt the Atlantic Antic - NYC's largest street fair, which has about 7 million people visit it each year. It takes place all along Atlantic Avenue - which is about ten - fifteen blocks from where I live. Bands, food, street fair...and way too many people.
This morning on the way to the farmer's market, a film crew was literally perched on my front stoop. They were filming a scene in the sidewalk and stoop next door. The camera was perched in front of my gate. I have no idea what film they were doing. Except that the old guy looked vaguely familar, reminded me a little of Roman Polanski, which is of course impossible. Could have Harvey Keitel. I've no idea. Suppose I could have asked them what film or tv show they were doing, but I just did not care. I've become jaded after 14 years of living in NYC and having to go around film crews blocking my path. They are more annoying than interesting. In fact, in my head I've begun to equate them with cockroaches and pigeons, a necessary evil of the NYC landscape. Interesting but also annoying. I doubt this was anything major since there were no police blockades or heavy security.
Have gotten abysmally little done this weekend. Spent most of it reading - a fanfic online. Was rather good and interesting. Quite brilliant in places. And No porn in sight. And multi-character. With lots of interesting edges. Only flaw is well, a personal pet peeve that I feel compelled to share in the hopes that people will read this and stop doing it. I've seen it in pulp novels and thought, damn, doesn't anybody edit these things anymore? It's simple to fix.
A rule you should never break on pain of death: use the character's name or the personal pronouns such as he, she, it, etc. Do not use a descriptor word such as jock, vampire, fireman, blond, brunette, Watcher, witch, demon or slayer unless you are in the head of someone who does not know the character's name and only knows their profession.
Examples: As a fireman, Dave was used to saving people, but Joey was different. Joey and Dave shared a history. She had cheated on him with his best friend. Their divorce had been brutal and now she had full custody of his kids and wasn't even granting him any visitation. Dave did not know why she was in the burning building and he realized how easy it would be to let her burn. The building was about to collaspe. No one else knew she was even in it. But, Dave went back into the burning building to save Joey. He found her lying half unconscious on the floor in front of him. Dave bent down to pick her up. Joey grabbed the fireman's shoulders as he lifted and took her out of the burning building.
Okay, who took her out? Dave? Or the fireman? See how it takes you out of the narrative??
Joey lay in a heap on the floor, her lungs filled with smoke. Out of the darkness, a huge man in a firefighter's outfit appeared. Joey grabbed the fireman's shoulder as he lifted her and took her out of the burning building.
In that sentence - it is appropriate to use the word fireman. Joey doesn't know who it is.
And we are in Joey's point of view.
Another example: Spike was happy until Willow said, "Sure Buffy, go out with Spike and patrol, I'll be fine. It is not like I'll be doing anything dangerous while you are away." The vampire clenched the muscels in his jaw, but followed Buffy without comment.
The use of the word vampire takes me out of the story. I am going at a clip and the suddenly I hit the stop sign - "the vampire". I know Spike is a vampire. The reader knows this. You the writer do not need to remind us. And we are in Spike's point of view. Would you think of yourself as say the blond or the teacher or the writer? (The writer clenched her jaw as she went back to work on her post.) I don't think so.
I will share a secret with you that was taught to me ages ago and repeatedly - do not be afraid of repeating the following words: said, he, she, the name of a character...readers jump over them. They expect them. Personal pronouns are our friends. Use them frequently. They do not sound repetitive. So for that matter is the word, said. It works better to say, Spike said, "Bugger all." Then to state: Spike cursed, "bugger all." Said is fine. Cursed is just repetitive. When you use too many descriptors you take the reader out of your story.
These are little things that are relatively easy to fix. I've had more than one brilliant piece of fanfiction ruined for me, because of those little things.
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Date: 2009-10-05 05:29 pm (UTC)Oh, I got that and do agree. I just wanted to make sure that I clarified the difficulty for anyone reading the comments. Because I think a lot of writers particularly fanfic writers attempt it - with that purpose in mind and fail miserably. I'm not saying you shouldn't try hard things - that is what fanfic is for, but you should probably make sure you have a *really* good beta when you do it.
One fanfic writer who did pull it off is
So that may have aided her.
I know of a couple of published writers who have pulled it off - Jim Butcher did, but he was using first person point of view and it is a lot easier to pull of in first person than third person. And the book Smilla's Sense of Snow did it - but that also managed to pull off shifts in time and place. Really hard to do.