lj habit

[shadowkat]

Pondering this livejournal habit. Been considering discontinuing. Breaking it off after a while...letting the postings dwindle away slowly, bit by bit.
Why? Well it feels less rewarding then it did before somehow, less connecting.
Like, as my pal Wales would state, there's a wall of ice separating us. Or we are mostly communicating behind a wall of masks. In some ways, I miss the more personal email - that I exchanged when I had the time with a few long distant friends. Hard to keep that up as well. An email only relationship.



It might be different, I suppose, if the people I saw in my daily life, face to face, kept journals, but outside of cjlasky, none do. As time wears on, the long distance relationships falter - as they often do without real face to face contact.

So the question becomes I guess - why am I posting these entries? Why not just stop cold? Would anyone really miss me if I did? Oh maybe for the first three or four months, the people who friended me might. Then again maybe not.
Is it to play with writing? Is it to get validation? Can't be that - get few if any responses to my posts nowadays, but was certainly a factor a year ago.
Is it the safety? Safe? Online Posting? I must be nuts. But I think there is a safety to it. You get the odd thrill of someone seeing what your writing, some stranger, and the protection of the mask. Sort of like going to a masquerade party where one can talk for hours, make a complete fool of oneself even, be someone else, but no risks - since you don't know who they *really* are.
You can't see their face. Except at a party you do see their eyes. Here?
No.

Is the connection real? Yes and no. I think we can connect through art and words, yet, yet...it is an unsatisfactory one. I want more. I want more than the possibility of an email response. I feel at times as if I'm reading a story that is great, yet, doesn't quite deliver what I want - I'm left with that odd yearning. That empty gap. Like a dancer reaching for a partner who has found another better one. OR perhaps the child who sees the rainbow and races to find it's end. I did that once upon a time, raced to find the end of a rainbow. We dashed across yards and fences and swimming pools hunting it. But whenever we got close, it was always just ever so slightly out of reach.
Inaccessible.

Reading "the three wish tv genie meme" on my flist, you know the one where you state what you wish was different in your favorite tv show, reminds of the same yearning. The yearning I have when I start reading a fanfic, story, book or watch a movie - that starts wonderfully, is so filled with promise and ends exactly as the writer wished it to, yet leaves me feeling that gap. That wall of ice. That sense of disconnect. Wait. Wait. I want to say. Why did you not go that a way instead? But I don't need an answer, I know it well - it's because they are satisfying the desire in their heads and perhaps in those around them. Me? I am unseen, outside.

Never been much of a groupie I'm afraid. Not much into following the flow. Going to group meets? Makes me break out metaphorically in hives. Ack. Ack. I think. Too many people. Too many conversations. Plus, well, there's always that jarring sensation when one realizes that one's interests and views don't quite jive with the group's. As a child - I remember my best friend at the time informing me that we needed to change our style, our interests, our tastes, in order to "fit" in. I remember backing away, slowly. I've joined many groups in my life time, stayed with none of them, a dilettant, dabbling.
But each one without exception unnerved me after a certain point in time.
There was the inevitable clash of personality, the pressure to conform.
I see it here as well in the internet world with its music swapping, file sharing, icons building, etc. And I feel the disconnect. The inevitable wall of ice. The sense...that somehow, I can't quite conform to the group dynamic.
Something in me, prevents it - does not want it.

It's a feeling that is hard to describe in words, this weird feeling of loneliness in a world filled with people. This weird disconnect...

And yet, even with the disconnect, the wall of ice, I still post entries, like an alcoholic who says this will be their last drink or the cigarette smoker who is always about to quit. A friend told me recently that the internet became my drug [or more to the point the discussion boards then later live journal] in 2002. I believe they are right. The question is...can I or should I go off of it, stop, quit?

I think these things while investigating taking Salsa classes.

Comments

[ponygirl2000.livejournal.com]

Well, I'd miss you if you didn't post.

But I do understand what you're saying. There are times when I want to reach out and shake the internet by its metaphorical shoulders and demand that it give me what I want - except that I don't really know what I'm looking for. Is it momentary amusement? Intellectual stimulation? Connection? A narrative of other people's lives to read? Sometimes all of the above, sometimes none. I don't know. I do believe that all this internet stuff has to be just a nice complement to everyday life, but at the same time there are things that it gives me that regular life can't. Well-reasoned, written arguments for one thing - very hard to find. Sure nothing replaces a good intense face to face conversation, but there's something very satisfying about the read and response method of communication here that seems to sharpen things in my mind.

What I really think is that we're coming off an intense love affair with BtVS and the board. It's been over for a while but I still miss it, yet at the same time don't really want replace it (a little too consuming it was). We were all very engaged in that experience and it gave all of these interactions a focus and a common ground. The common ground is still there of course but everything feels a lot more scattered.

I tell myself that when this disconnect that you talk about, between what I'm reading and what I want to see, gets too bothersome then that means I should be creating something of my own. But man, that's hard.

All I know is that the story you present to us, of your life in whatever form you care to share, is interesting to me, and it's something where I want to see what happens next.

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

I do believe that all this internet stuff has to be just a nice complement to everyday life, but at the same time there are things that it gives me that regular life can't.

I think it is striking a balance between the two that is important. And in a way with the new job, the loss of BTVS/ATS and along with that my interest in discussion boards, I've found that a balance is being created.
I'm no longer spending the extended hours on the internet I once did - when I was unemployed hunting a job on it. Or when I was at the horrible company and hunting a source of validation and release. Now it's more like a half hour or so, maybe two or three days a week, maybe less depending on the week. And no time at work - except to check personal email. The company firewall won't let me access entertainment sites, and while I can access livejournal, I prefer not to. I want to keep it separate from the work place.

What I really think is that we're coming off an intense love affair with BtVS and the board. It's been over for a while but I still miss it, yet at the same time don't really want replace it (a little too consuming it was). We were all very engaged in that experience and it gave all of these interactions a focus and a common ground. The common ground is still there of course but everything feels a lot more scattered.

I think this is true. I feel it's absence. More so in fact than other cultural obsessions I've had over the years, which I do not miss in the least. An obsessive love affair. Almost one sided - since the show didn't seem to see us most of the time - sort of like Spike's obsessive love affair with Buffy. While I do not miss the fights, I do miss the intellectual discussions - reading threads on boards that went on forever and went off on tangents. The best were in 2002, which may be why I adore S6 BTVS more than any other season, because that was the season I discovered the posters on the ATPO board and wrote my essays. I wonder at times if I miss the discussions more than the show? You can buy the show on DVD, but you cannot buy or hold onto the discussions - oh you can read them in the archives, sure, but somehow it isn't the same thing and we can't recreat them around something else. The commonality of interest - just isn't there anymore. And I think I got addicted to that.


I tell myself that when this disconnect that you talk about, between what I'm reading and what I want to see, gets too bothersome then that means I should be creating something of my own. But man, that's hard.

It's what I keep trying to do - create. Yet creating can be frustrating too. You can't always hit the right notes, pull out of the hat the rabbit.

[ponygirl2000.livejournal.com]

I wonder at times if I miss the discussions more than the show?

Heh. There were definitely times... I think too, it's the difference between being passive and active. With BtVS and the board I was able to move from being a passive viewer to one who was actively creating the experience of viewing with other people. Which sounds really pretentious, but it was definitely different from anything else. Kind of empowering. And I now I find myself a bit frustrated at this lack of input, or control, with other things. Probably why I don't feel as much enthusiasm for other shows, or why I sometimes find myself wanting to influence the direction of fanfiction whose authors invite comments ;)

All we can do is putter along, we can't know what needs or passions will suddenly overtake us. What happened for me with s6, that intense need to discuss, was unexpected. I may not have that feeling again. You never know.

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

What happened for me with s6, that intense need to discuss, was unexpected. I may not have that feeling again. You never know.

Felt somewhat the same way. While the earlier seasons and other tv shows entertained me, and yes there were points I'd tape them to ensure I didn't miss or discuss them with friends at work, home, etc - it was not until
S6 BTVS that I felt the need to discuss in more depth or analyze a tv show.
Can't see it happening again at this point. Seen lots of good tv shows before and since, some I'd say were probably tighter written than BTVS was, but none inspire me to write about them or their characters.

Nor for that matter did any of the seasons prior to 6 and 7 inspire me to write about them.

Was it the content of the show, those seasons? Or other factors merging that caused this desire/passion?
Not sure. Possibly it was like most things - a combination of unrelated variables coming together at the same time. At least for me.

[ann1962]

I'd miss you too!!

I think we can connect through art and words, yet, yet...it is an unsatisfactory one. I want more. I want more than the possibility of an email response. I feel at times as if I'm reading a story that is great, yet, doesn't quite deliver what I want - I'm left with that odd yearning. That empty gap.

I have talked about this too. The part that is missing from these interactions. My husband thinks this is an easier way to interact without the real person present. But I disagree with that. There is a certain tangible that is missing I would agree, but there is a sharing that is more real and more profound sometimes than in many real life interactions. What that says about the quality of RL interactions is another story. I think this is another way to communicate that has its flaws. We have all seen and experienced those. But what I receive from this is incredible. I have realized so much about my fellow humans from these interactions that in many ways I did not know it was possible, except with some of my closest friends.

And this whole addiction conversation that I see creeping in lately has concerned me. Why when someone receives something positive do they think there is something the matter with it? More and more I see entries concerned with the addictive qualities of this medium. Why don’t we say that about reading, which is what I would be doing more of if I wasn’t online. I don’t think we have to worry about that as long as it isn’t interfering with life. When something gives you support when you haven’t it elsewhere, then I think that is a good thing. Not something to be feared. Personally, I am glad I found your website and read your essays. The personal aspects that came through, and still do in your lj and in entries like this, I think are a miraculous sharing of yourself. That is a good thing at least from my perspective. I am glad you post!!

I do think there is an evolution of sorts going on and I don’t know what that means. People do come and go but I think friendships have been built and like all friendships, intent keeps them alive. But I want to find out what happens next too!

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

And this whole addiction conversation that I see creeping in lately has concerned me. Why when someone receives something positive do they think there is something the matter with it?

I guess the question is to what extent is it positive and to what extent does it interfer with your life. Like anything, it's not a problem until it takes over your life, distracts you from other pursuits that may result in love, career success, published novel, physical activity. TV is not bad thing in of itself, but it you are spending 50%-80% of your time watching it and not exploring other avenues? Than it has become something more than a harmless pursuit. The same is true with the internet - and once again it depends on how you are spending time on it. What you are doing. Are you interacting? Meeting new people? Or...using it as your sole connection to others? I know of marriages that have collasped because one person spent all their time on the net.

I suppose a better way of explaining all this - would be to tell you about one of my greatest fears. That of being stuck. Trapped.
Whether it be physically, mentally, or emotionally. I fear not changing.
I fear not evolving. I fear being stuck in a rut just as much as I fear being stuck in a small space.

Yet at the same time, I fear the change. That what comes next won't be as good as what came before. The loss of what was. It's an odd contradiction I know. I hang onto the comfort zone, yet at the same time berate myself for doing so.

For me the internet is a weird thing - it provides me with a public platform for my writing. A free soap-box, the only price? The occassional crass word of criticism - which happens rarely now that I've confined my postings to livejournal. Yet, you can get lazy here. It's comfortable, safe. I write what I will. True it is upsetting when no one responds. And being a competitive nit, I tend to get annoyed when other writers get 100 responses and I get a woeful five - which is in a way my own fault since I'm horrid at responding and update rarely. But outside of that? There's really no downside, is there? Except - that after a while it interferred with my ability to write things that could be published outside of the livejournal. My own tales. My own stories. Which I'm slowly reclaiming, bit by bit - by forcing myself to work on in lieu of writing a personal post.

I don't think livejournal is the same experience for everyone. But nothing is, is it? It's a happy retreat for some, an addiction for others.

[midnightsjane.livejournal.com]

I would miss your presence here. You have a way with words, a way of looking at life that is quite different from mine; I think that such differences enrich rather than impoverish. If everyone I speak with just repeats my POV, I get lazy. It's the different approach that makes me stop and investigate my own sense of what is or isn't true. One of the things I appreciate most about LJ is that I am connected to a whole array of opinions, sensibilities, attitudes through the words that appear on my screen. I understand your sense of apartness; it is sometimes like a one way street when you put something out there, and no traffic passes by. Kind of feels like you're travelling down the highway at 3 a.m., all alone in the night. But every now and then a light appears in the distance, and it turns out to be a friend. I use my journal in many ways; it's like a diary (although I've never been much on keeping a diary), it's a forum that allows me to take a thought that I have and expand it into something coherent. Sometimes I sit down at the keyboard, and what ends up on the screen is surprising to me; writing here is a way of making nebulous images in my mind into something lucid and clear.
As Ann says, there has been conversation about the addictive nature of LJ: I joke about it, but I'm certainly not afraid of it. It's the feeling I get from being in a conversation that stimulates and entertains me that I enjoy so much. Your part of that conversation is important and appreciated.

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

If everyone I speak with just repeats my POV, I get lazy. It's the different approach that makes me stop and investigate my own sense of what is or isn't true. One of the things I appreciate most about LJ is that I am connected to a whole array of opinions, sensibilities, attitudes through the words that appear on my screen.

That was one of the reasons I fell in love with this form of discourse. The ability to read such diverse opinions, get enraged, yet not show it.
Just be. And eventually, maybe, change my mind. Meet people with views and experiences that I could not possibly meet in my everyday life - partly because there's no way we could come into contact, due to distance, lifestyle, etc. Yet, as I post in this box - it feels oddly surreal, writing and getting responses from people, that I've never seen, do not even know their real names, the only indication I have that they are real is the words they send me written or pasted in a similar box.

I understand your sense of apartness; it is sometimes like a one way street when you put something out there, and no traffic passes by. Kind of feels like you're travelling down the highway at 3 a.m., all alone in the night. But every now and then a light appears in the distance, and it turns out to be a friend.

Yes, in a way it does feel exactly like that when I post. At times I feel as if I'm in a tunnel, thinking my thoughts aloud, whistling. Convinced I'm alone, yet at the same time oddly aware that there are people moving beside me, unseen. I light a match and see their shadows cast on the walls, too dim to make out faces or forms, and a few even speak, respond - I'm here! I'm listening! I'm muttering too. The feeling gives me an odd sense of comfort and connection admist the disconnection.

Sometimes I sit down at the keyboard, and what ends up on the screen is surprising to me; writing here is a way of making nebulous images in my mind into something lucid and clear.

Yes, that is how I'd explain many of my posts. Surprises even to me.

[ailleurs.livejournal.com]

I'd miss your rambles, but as someone who came to LJ really late in the game, I also do understand your disconnect with the medium. Fandom may have originally brought me to LJ, but it most certainly has been one of the prime reasons why I go through periods when I think I should abandon it altogether and do something more productive and constructive with the 30 minutes a day that I spend reading it.

My interim solution is to try reading the journals of people who have no relation to, interest in or bearing on the vagaries of fandom. I now read to learn and appreciate what matters in other people's lives, rather the false reality of a TV show.

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

Fandom may have originally brought me to LJ, but it most certainly has been one of the prime reasons why I go through periods when I think I should abandon it altogether and do something more productive and constructive with the 30 minutes a day that I spend reading it.

Fandom unnerves me. Maybe because something deep inside me rebells at the idea of fawning, worshipping any one thing. And that in essence is what a fan does - worship or fawn over something. Focus undue attention on it.
And make shrines to it. I can't deal with such things. I question them.
Because in that direction I see madness, and mob rule.

The other aspect of fandom, specifically genre related fandom that bugs me is the rigid adherence to rules. The criticism of anything that does not fit in a precise box. Sci-fi is this. Fantasy is this. The show has rules, the writers break them - I'm gone. The characters must go this way. It's a rigidity - that grates. And is the reason I no longer attempt to write genre novels. That insane anal retentive adherence to precise rules, precise mythology - makes me want to back away very slowly from the whole thing.

[cjlasky.livejournal.com]

I'd miss you on the internet. Yes, I get to see you often, but I do love your way with words. However, if you feel you can spend your time better than LJ, then by all means, go for it: take those salsa classes. But consider this--if we both hadn't been posting on the internet, I never would have met you face-to-face, and my life would have been ten times poorer for it.

The internet v. real life question doesn't necessarily have to be a zero sum game. One can feed off the other. And you never know when the connections you've made with your friends on LJ will carry over and result in something beautiful in your "real" life.

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

The internet v. real life question doesn't necessarily have to be a zero sum game. One can feed off the other.

True. It just depends to an extent on how much. And it is true that I've met people online, yourself included, that have enriched my life in ways I cannot begin to understand or evaluate. pumpkinpuss, Susan, yourself just to name a few that I've seen more than once face to face.

[arethusa2.livejournal.com]

I write in lj mostly for myself. I get an idea--a way of phrasing something that I like, or an observation that I want to share--and I put it down where others can see it and maybe they'll be interested, maybe not, but I hate to waste a good idea or rant.

But I have trepidations similar to yours. I feel like I don't fit in--I alwys have, because I didn't fit in. To many problems to deal with, too many moves from one school or state to another. Many times I quit trying to fit in because I resented feeling like I wasn't good enough as I am, or I was sure that nobody would like me anyway. (Even as an adult.) I reach out, then retreat again, torn between wanting contact and fearing judgement.

But a good thing about lj is that I can retreat a little when I feel overwhelmed, and then get back into the flow when I feel more outgoing. I can very quickly make contact, or get into longer conversations. The interesting thing is that people see more of the real me through my writing than they would in months or even years of face-to-face contact. That makes me nervous, but also glad that I can be myself (more or less). It's not face-to-face--it's mind to mind, which is the addicting part, and something I don't want to give up.

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

The interesting thing is that people see more of the real me through my writing than they would in months or even years of face-to-face contact. That makes me nervous, but also glad that I can be myself (more or less). It's not face-to-face--it's mind to mind, which is the addicting part, and something I don't want to give up.

Yes, that's it exactly. The odd feeling that I am exposing more of myself here in a way than I do face to face. I feel freer somehow to say things in a box on the net, then across a table to a friend. Someone told me once that it was safer - because I didn't really know these people. We were nameless entities. (Which isn't entirely true - since I've met approx 10% of the people on my flist face to face or spoken on the phone or exchanged personal emails.)

There are times when I'll write something and post it, then leave and begin berating myself for doing it. Damn, damn, I think. Why did you do that? And can you delete it before anyone saw it? It exposed too much.
I fall a bit in love with my words, the rhythm of them and fear that I let things flow from my brain that are better left unsaid and unspoken, like downloading thoughts.

Many times I quit trying to fit in because I resented feeling like I wasn't good enough as I am, or I was sure that nobody would like me anyway. (Even as an adult.) I reach out, then retreat again, torn between wanting contact and fearing judgement.

Yes, this is my dilemma as well. This fear. Which I am attempting to conquer but it at times feels like trying to dam a river. Often I find myself rejecting people first, in order to protect myself. Here on the net - you have more protection. You are hidden in a way. You can avoid the rejection to an extent. (Well more so here than on the boards. The boards
had their fair share of rejection. But the validation? Whoa. There is no other high quite like getting 50 posters respond positively to something you wrote. Nothing comes close. And I can't for the life of me decide if feeling that high, wanting to recapture it, is a good thing?)

[qadgop.livejournal.com]

I kinda know what you're talking about, but I think that a lot of the time the things you (general sense) get out of lj interactions are things that wouldn't necessarily come out in face-to-face conversation. I wouldn't call it a replacement for RL interaction, no; but I also think it's complementary to it. (Certainly what I talk about in lj, and the persona I seem to unconsciously use there, doesn't match the way I talk or what I talk about in person, at least as far as I can tell.)

I find, though, that when I'm writing on livejournal, it's as much for me as for any friends/prospective readers. Maybe that's what you need to ask yourself: not so much who you're doing it for, as what you yourself get out of your own writing there. I wouldn't call it an addiction, in any case; you are, after all, producing something by posting (as well as creating at least the possibility of interaction--not only between yourself and others, but between others who come across your work.

Admittedly, I'd also like to see how the drabble works out. :-)

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

Admittedly, I'd also like to see how the drabble works out. :-)

Well, I'm glad someone does. I got the feeling people were getting a bit tired of it, I know I was. That said, I may wrap it up eventually.

I wouldn't call it an addiction, in any case; you are, after all, producing something by posting (as well as creating at least the possibility of interaction--not only between yourself and others, but between others who come across your work.

That is a valid point and one I've often argued with myself. The thing of it is - how much validity does what you produce on the net have? I guess more than just writing things that never leave the comfort of your harddrive or notebook. I struggle with the concept of fanfic - because it cannot exist (due to that pesky thing called trademark and copyright law) outside of fan interaction. Nor for that matter is anyone outside of fans of the particular show you are writing about, going to read it. I honestly wonder if any none BTVS fans read that drabble I wrote. Or for that matter if any non Spike/Buffy fans did. Yet - the same thing is true about any work of art, I suppose, if the subject matter does not appeal, you will not partake.

How do we define being productive? Creating art? When it gets published?
When it airs on TV? If so what about all those wonderful pilots that never aired (there's a theater in LA that shows some of them, I've been told).What about those films that get made but never find a distributor? Or the books that never find a publisher? I suppose in a way producing fanfic on the net - is more productive than that - at least someone outside of dear friends and family gets to read it. Yet, is writing a story using someone else's universe, someone else's rules, someone else's character's - art? Perhaps more so than the novels okayed by the studio reps. Since in fanfic at least, we can break the rules, change the characters - creativity is at play. More to the point is it productive?
How do we define productive? Money at the end of the day? Or changing someone's world outlook? I don't know. Been debating the whole thing with myself for a while now.

[qadgop.livejournal.com]

The thing of it is - how much validity does what you produce on the net have? I guess more than just writing things that never leave the comfort of your harddrive or notebook.

Surely all of it's valid. It's there, people can read it, might or might not reflect on it. Is that really much different from something on a library shelf--say, maybe it's in a section you aren't interested in but happen to be walking through, and the last time someone actually took it out was in 1963, but it just happens to catch your eye or something.

I struggle with the concept of fanfic - because it cannot exist (due to that pesky thing called trademark and copyright law) outside of fan interaction. Nor for that matter is anyone outside of fans of the particular show you are writing about, going to read it.

I'm not sure that matters; most dialogues--and fanfiction is nothing if not a dialogue, just as art as a whole is--take place among specialized audiences, or are intially intended "just for us" in that sense, whoever a given "us" happens to be. That doesn't lessen their value, I don't think.

(Also, you never know: I've never been that much of an UNCLE fan, but I still have fond memories of a Man from UNCLE fan novel I happened to read back in the eighties [The Nowhere Man Affair by Pauli Gilmore, I think?].)

How do we define being productive? Creating art? When it gets published?
When it airs on TV? If so what about all those wonderful pilots that never aired (there's a theater in LA that shows some of them, I've been told).What about those films that get made but never find a distributor? Or the books that never find a publisher?

I tend to think that making it is the productive act. I used to be a slushpile reader at a publishing house, a couple of careers ago; while most of what I read in that capacity was indeed amazingly awful, there are four or five manuscripts out there I've read that, while so far as I know were turned down and will never be published, I feel privileged to have been exposed to--at some level, they've affected my inner experience. That's art. Something can be discovered years after the death of its author--or never discovered at all-but I don't think that makes it retroactively not-art.

Yet, is writing a story using someone else's universe, someone else's rules, someone else's character's - art?

Yes. Unequivocably. You can get more money (and if you're lucky, exposure) if you concentrate on your own creations instead, but whoever created the elements, the person creating that particular act of storytelling is committing art, I think.

How do we define productive? Money at the end of the day? Or changing someone's world outlook?

My guess (and that's all it is): Making stuff. That's all. Money you need, affecting someone's outlook you hope for, but I don't know that "being productive" necessarily requires either.

[oursin.livejournal.com]

I'd miss your posts in the complex polyphony of voices that is lj. And I like that there are ways to be here that don't involve everybody all having the same interests, but connecting at different tangents: and that we see those other sides and interests of people that we might not encounter in f2f life. I was thinking that my conversation with NZ H on Saturday was good because it was like when I meet someone I know from lj, it was wide-ranging and flying off in lots of different directions, not just on our common scholarly interests and connections. I find it quite hard to get to that stage even with people I've known for a long time.

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

And I like that there are ways to be here that don't involve everybody all having the same interests, but connecting at different tangents: and that we see those other sides and interests of people that we might not encounter in f2f life.

Tis true. It does allow for an exchange of interests that may not occur in face to face interactions. I feel freer somehow to share certain interests online. And the online world has helped me discover new things I would not have found otherwise - such as fantasy novels, new graphic novels, anime shows, and tv shows. I find I trust the online world in regards to movie, book and theater reviews far more than the newspaper one.