The BOX meme
Oct. 29th, 2005 12:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatThe box meme
On a gloomy Sat, where one just wants to curl up and read a good book, came up with this meme that has been rolling about in my head most of the week or ever since I read the spirtuality meme online and had an interesting, albeit brief discussion with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
frenchani in my lj.
Meme – descriptive trait.
Box – a square, rectangle or even a circle, contains items, often a defined category with label attached.
Purpose – predicting behavior and interests and personality of individual answering the questions. Determining a commonality of interest or traits in order to select friends, spouses, lovers, members of a group, employees, applicants to graduate or undergraduate programs, and private schools. Knowing who fits where, who clicks with whom. Who should be excluded and who included.
Categories/questions obtained from applications, marketing questionnaires and surveys, quiz memes, online dating matches & email questionnaires.
Rules: 1. Define the category that you are answering. EX: What do you consider your country of origin to be? What does that mean to you, is it important?
2. Is it important others share these traits? Rate importance on scale of 1-10, 10 vital, 1 not. Would you reject or select someone based on their answer? How important is their answer to you? (ex: Define Liberal or conservative – what does it mean to you and how do you perceive the category that you aren’t? If you define yourself as liberal, do you dislike and reject conversatives?)
3. Length : one word or as many as you want.
Here’s the list of questions. I’m just doing 10. You can do as many or as little as you want. The questions have one thing in common, with the possible exception of the last one, done in honor of Halloween, is that they are all used to define what people are like, categorize, and reject or select them based on their answers.
1.Country of origin (also state or territory depending on where you live)
2. religious heritage (not to be confused with religion you currently practice or don’t)
3. racial background or ethnicity
4. age
5. gender
6. height and weight
7. education
8. Television watching habits: TV shows currently watch, how many hours a week, what you enjoy, how much is news related – tv news shows you watch
9. Movie watching habits: Types of movies you watch, movies you enjoy, most recent movies, favorites
10. Reading habits: Books, magazines, newspapers, journals you are reading
11. Listening habits: Radio stations, music, ipod, mp3, just CDs, tapes
12. Food – favorite foods, food issues, foods won’t eat – Vegetarian, Non-Vegetarian, Vegan?
13. Liberal or Conservative? (can be economic or social or both)
14. Religious belief (not to be confused with heritage: ie. Are you practicing a religion and do you believe in God?)
15. Sexual Orientation
16. Sports/Athletic Pursuits (what you watch, what you play, how much time you put into watching, do you bet on them)
17. Married or single
18. Do you drink (alcohol)? Socially? Extensively? Alone? Not at all?
19. Smoke or don’t smoke?
20. Fashion or Favorite Clothes (do you pay attention to fashion? Are you a shopper?)
21. Current Abode – home you live in (apartment, house, boat, trailer) and where
22. What state or country or territory do you currently live in? What village, city, suburb?
23. Children ? (Do you have them, how many, do you plan on having them, how do you feel about them? )
24. Occupation Currently Have and Occupation Currently Dream of. (Can be one and the same)
25. What do you fear?
I’m cut tagging my answers for length and well other reasons.
1. Country and (if in the US or area with a specific territory, State) of Origin
People always ask where do I hail from? They can tell I’m not a native New Yorker, don’t have the accent. My accent is actually the same as most newscasters. When I say I lived in Kansas City, they immediately assume I’m from Kansas City. Born and raised. A hick from hicks town. Not true of course, KC being far from Hicksville, if you’ve ever been, you’ll note it is roughly the same size as Dublin, Ireland and Houston, Texas and to a degree San Francisco (okay San Fran may be bigger). Plus heavily populated with a diverse range of people. Nor was I born in Kansas City or necessarily raised there. I’ve lived in roughly five states in my life. Evanston, Ill – born. Childhood in Chester County, Pa. Teen years and most of my twenties in Kansas City, Colorado Springs, Co and Lawrence, KS respectively. Last ten – NYC, thank you very much. So what is my state of origin? I guess the one I was in the longest, KC, but I’d rather pick Pa. My country, USA.
Importance? 2 possibly 3 on the scale for state. But 6 for country. It means a lot to me where I’m from. Part and parcel so to speak and I’m proud of my country, even if I often despise the government – I don’t believe a country should be judged on it’s government’s actions, even though I know others disagree with me. I don’t so much care where others hail from. Weird I know. Admit I’m a bit of an anglophile – I tend to be predisposed towards folks who speak with a British, Australian, Welsh, Irish, and or Scottish accent. Also since I suck at linguistics and struggle with deciphering certain words – I’m predisposed to English speakers, also predisposed towards individual from far away places or places outside my own country.
2. Religious heritage – not to be confused with religion you practice.
This is the religion that you were born in, the one your family practiced and raised you to practice or talked about.
Raised Catholic. Father’s family Catholic. Baptized Catholic. So Catholic. Feel the Catholicism may be in my blood, in my bones sometimes – my father’s mother certainly believed so. Course she believed if you weren’t Catholic, you’d go directly to hell, without passing Go on the way down. (One of the many things I did not like about the woman. Loved her, did not like her. ) Didn’t go to Catholic schools, but did do CCD – catechism classes every Sunday, got confirmed when I came of age – just two years younger than the batmitza or barmitza for most of my Jewish friends. At least I know I was confirmed prior to my friend Melanie’s barmitza, which was in Junior high school. Being Catholic meant giving up things for Lent, believing in the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause, not eating meat on Friday’s during Lent, and caring about communion but not so much the sermon, which I either daydreamed during or went to sleep. Also lots and lots of lengthy prayers – Hail Mary Full of Grace, the I Confess, the “I believe in one holy ….” (know it has a name but it escapes me at the moment), etc. Parents are devout, well to a degree, they ignore the Pope and the Vatican and most of the Church’s dictates, but do go to Church, take communion and are currently doing a bible study of sorts. I think they take issue with man-made doctrine becoming God’s doctrine. Doesn’t hurt that Dad is a historian and has studied the stuff. Dad also spent time in the seminary – two years in fact, before he gave up and took off to get the GI Bill. Oh and one of my Dad’s five brothers is a priest, named Patrick and born on St. Patrick’s day of all things. Yep, he hailed from your typical large Irish Catholic family.
Importance? Not very high. Probably 1 or 2. I don’t necessarily define myself as Catholic. Don’t really understand the rational behind defining oneself by religious heritage or placing too much importance on it. I don’t care if you are Hindu, Jewish, Episcopalian, Protestant, Catholic, Buddhist, Pagan, Wiccan, or any number of faiths I haven’t listed. Find it slightly annoying that people do care about such things, actually. Am convinced the world would be a happier, safer, kinder place if we put far less importance on religious heritage than we currently do. I also find it odd that historically people who have been rejected based on their religious heritage are predisposed to persecute and reject others based on religious heritage, almost as if they are seeking vengeance or something.
3. Racial or ethnic background
Never much liked this category on applications. Felt odd answering White. Don’t feel white. Skin is more olive toned. Fair. But not white. Not porcelin. Also Caucasion? What is that? WASP? God no. Although there was a lady in book club once who accused me of being one, or it felt like an accusation at any rate. “Always thought you were a WASP.” White Anglo Saxon Protestant. Except for the White part, not. More like Celt, if anything. Or how about: 5% Welsh, 5% Belgium, 5% Scotish, 55% Irish, and the rest German? I told her she was confusing the German physical traits with Anglo Saxon. Not quite sure what she thought Anglo Saxon looked or acted like. Did I come across to her as snobby? Prissy? Friend Wales is a WASP – White, Anglo Saxon, Welsh, Protestant. Okay, that more like WASWP. And as far from prissy or snobby upper crust as one could get. Does it mean anything to me? Not a whit.
Importance: 1. Don’t really understand why people care or make judgments based on it. Yet we do and I wish we didn’t. World would be a nicer place if we didn’t. Course that may be easy for me to say, being olive toned and not dark skinned – course I am predisposed towards individuals with dark skin tones and tend to think dark skinned is far more attractive than light skinned, so there you go. White is pasty. Dark and black – is velvet, glowing, beautiful.
4. Age
Thirty-eight years young. Feel old at times and young at others. Situational. Does it matter? I think so. Experience makes us who we are, whether it’s our own or those experiences we’ve seen played out indirectly through others. Then again there are those who have done the equivalent of 50 years of living within 16 years, and those who have done the equivalent of ten within 50. We all have our own timetables, methinks, I’m not sure placing too much importance on physical age is a good thing. Then again, I find myself doing it all the same.
I fear and anticipate my 40s. Fear them for what I have not accomplished up til now and may not have the chance to. Anticipate for what I have yet to do. The turning of the next page so to speak.
I’d say that when choosing friends or partners I’m predisposed towards own age or older rather than younger, but not true. Have dated and become close friends with people throughout the spectrum. That said, I tend to date people within at least 5 years of my own age.
5. Gender – Male and female.
Female. Thought it would be obvious by nom de plume, but as luck would have it there are men on the net who also use shadowkat. Go figure. Sounded like a female name to me. But then I tend to think of Cameron and Sydney as male names, [cousin named her twins, boy and a girl, Cameron and Sydney, obviously an Alias fan], so what do I know? I’m feminine, although there are times in which I can’t help but wonder if there’s a man inside of me aching to break free. So yeah, masculine too. There’s a guy in here as well. One who is decidedly not into fashion, make-up, or girly pursuits, but likes men, oh so much.
Discussed this with a friend recently, she has problems with women who impersonate men – finds it a real turn off, but no difficulties with guys impersonating woman. Odd, somewhat ambivalent on men impersonating woman, actually to be honest, do not understand the men impersonating women. Why oh why oh why would anyone put on hose, high heels, and a skin tight mini skirt/ halter if they did not have to? My god, it’s uncomfortable. You can’t sit down, you can’t cross your legs, and when you walk your arches ache, your back aches, your calves ache, and your toes feel as if they’ve been pinched. I’m just not masochistic enough to be a sex-kitten or fashion maven, I guess. I hate physical pain. I may fantasize about S&M, but the actual idea of it? (shudder) It’s why I don’t have body piercings or tattoos…needles, pain, eww.
Women impersonating men on the other hand, makes perfect sense – wear jeans, shirts, bomber jackets, comfortable shoes, baseball hats, let the frigging hair in places we will not name grow as much as it pleases (ie. No waxing or shaving baby). I think the problem with gender is we always think its better on the other side of the fence. When I think about it for a while, I realize, I like it where I am. Don’t have any desire to be a guy. Except for the advantages – employment and financial – like it or not, men are still paid more than women, still picked for jobs, have more opportunities, still get to play a wider range of sports, and still get the power roles. Check out the ratio of men to women on the majority of tv shows and movies sometime – yes the balance is beginning to tilt in the opposite direction, it always does when it goes too far one way, but still. To get power – women often have to take on male attributes. Also Western and Eastern religions place a high importance on gender – women are literally considered second class citizens, property or children in some of them.
That said? While I wouldn’t describe myself as girly (allergic to most perfumes and never been heavily into the accessories – purse, jewelry, scarves), I do like bits of it. I do at times, as the song from Flower Drum Song goes, do enjoy being a girl. And when push comes to shove, couldn’t imagine life any differently.
What I take issue with however is how we define people’s roles by their gender. You should do this because you are a boy or that because you are a girl. Firmen? Boy job. Secretary? Girl job. Human Resources – girl gutter. Pink for girls. Blue for boys. Boys are good at math, girls aren’t. Girls do pottery (my pottery teacher is a man, a large muscular, manly guy with a girlfriend). Kid bro refused to tell the sex of his unborn kid for a while because he didn’t want people to buy gender specific garments.
Importance? Not that much. The importance society places on it? 10no
Height and Weight
People are categorized and judged by this all the time. And all the online dating sites ask: heavy, proportionate, thin, in shape? Tall? Short? My family has a bit of a complex about it. Mother especially – because her mother was overweight and her father was critical of it, being rod thin. The men in my family are tall and rod thin, the women, tall and stocky, fleshy or short and stocky. Except Mom who was also very thin until her 40s. I’ve always been a bit rebellious, ignoring her. Mom has also always been envious of petite women, kid-bro even married one, which I think annoyed and puzzled my parents on some level neither has admitted to aloud. Dad, on the other hand, doesn’t get the appeal of petite– he likes the gams, long and leggy. I need to find someone like my Dad, a legs man, not a boobs guy into tiny girls. Defensive much? Sigh, that’s what this category does to people. When I was a kid, I used to walk to and from school each week with a girl named Anu, she was lovely, but heavy. I made the mistake of taking her to my house once, where my mother went on and on about how I could lose weight totally oblivious to the fact that Anu weighed more than I did.
You’re too thin? You’re too fat? God, our society is royally fucked up. Course Western Culture’s religious traditions are “fast for an entire day” then “binge”. Yom Kippur – fast all day, binge on lots of food the next. Ramadan – fast each day, binge at night. Easter – fast on Friday or give up something for five weeks, then get a sugar high on Easter Sunday. The media doesn’t help – you have to be skinny and tall – no petite and skinny, but hey eat chocolate and champagne and how about a steak? Plus, have you been to a restaurant lately? You get a huge bowl of bread, plus a meal that is big enough to feed two or at least three people. Then afterwards? They ask if you want desert and deliver one big enough to be split between two people. Add wine, soda, coffee with milk and sugar to the menu, and well your stomach expands as your wallet shrinks. Also it’s bloody expensive to eat healthy. Trust me, I know. I spent a lot less on food when I was eating bread products (wheat pasta – 99 cents, corn pasta - $3). Salad? $5-$6. Fried Chicken fingers? $4. Clam Chowder – $2.50, Salad with chicken $6. Hot dog - $1. If you’re broke, you will gain weight, the odds are against you, you can’t afford the gym, the pilates classes, the salads and the healthy foods. How heavy you are has become its own specific box depicting class, economic status, income, societal acceptance, and success.
Me? Last I checked? Which was on a movie theater scale since I do not own a scale and refuse to buy one. 5’11 and 193 pounds, and I was wearing shoes, jeans, a shirt, and a jacket at the time. Oh Shut up. I’m big boned, okay. Not bad. May be 188, which is the last rung in the proportionate weight category, before you are considered “over-weight” by the people who place importance on these things. People are also annoyingly idiotic when it comes to weight allotments. Read a comic book description of a female superhero : 6 ft and 135 pounds. Uhm, no. Not if you want her to have a bust, muscles, and thighs. I’m sorry but 6 ft and 135 pounds is stick thin with no bust and no muscle tone. Men have conception of the size or weight of a woman’s proportions any more than women do about men, and proportions vary depending on body height, bone structure, and whether you are long or short limbed.
My waist size is currently floating between 12 and 14. Shirt 14 and 16. Everything is hanging on me. This is a bit of an accomplishment by the way, since in 2003 I weighed a little over 219 pounds and was between an 18-20 dress size. How’d I do it? Sigh. Gluten-free baby and a doss of stress, stir. Trust me, you too can lose the weight if you stop eating anything with barely, oats, wheat, millet, spelt, minnet, kamut, in it. Also helps if you go off soda, vitamin water, sweets, and down-size on portions. Plus stop drinking beer, wine and other alcoholic beverages. Haven’t given up chocolat or ice cream though. Also still eating cheese and meat. But don’t for a minute think I did all that with the intent to lose weight, I did it because I ended up in the emergency room from hell with a gastrointestinal attack. Losing weight was just the happy side-effect.
Importance? Ah, odd. In a friend? None. 0. Zippo. I’ve had friends who’ve ranged in height from 4 ft to 6’3. I’ve had friends who’ve ranged in weight from 90 pounds to 300. Really don’t give a crap. People are people, you know? Also I’ve known folks who are incredibly happy and kind, with successful marriages and great sex lives, who are heavy, and folks who are incredibly miserable and mean who are stick thin. As well as vice versa. I tend to veer towards heavier folks. Softer. Less sharp edges. Plus, I like food and so do they. But to be honest? I don’t care what people look like. And to be honest, some of the most beautiful people I’ve met are well over 200 pounds and some of the ugliest well below it. Gaunt is not attractive. I don’t want to see someone’s bones and some people look better with a bit of flesh on them -*cough*SaraMichelleGeller*cough*. Some look better with less flesh on them. It depends. I know I look better with less flesh. I think its how you feel about you that matters.
That said, I’m only physically attracted to tall slender men. Or men who are between 165-230 pounds, and 5’10-6’5. I basically want a guy who is bigger than me or close to the same size. I do not want to be bigger than the guy, huge turn-off.
7. Educational Background
In college they always asked me what’s your major. Annoyed the bloody hell out of me. Why? Cause, I considered my minor more descriptive of me than my Major. Truth is I took a variety of courses and didn’t like being pigeonholed. The difficulty I had with school was the choices and the time constraints. I wanted to try everything and could only do a few.
So what is my educational background? BA. Bachelors of Arts. Distinction in English. Thematic Minor in Epic, Myth and Folklore. I basically majored in the writing of and analysis of literary and oral stories. Within all that – had a smattering of dance, art, pottery, batik, music/opera appreciation, psychology, sociology, anthropology, math, biology, and theology. It’s what folks like to call a Liberal Arts Education, I suppose. Oh and I wrote and read my own poetry to lots of people. I won’t say it was bad or good, since I’m of the opinion that the only people who put such qualifications on poetry are literary snobs who spend far too much time worrying over rhythmic structure and less worrying over why the person wrote it to begin with. Poetry comes from the soul, it’s the music of the soul, it either clicks for you or doesn’t. It can seem at times to be woefully self-indulgent and flowery and at others to be arcane and obtuse. There’s no good or bad. It’s too subjective. It’s another box – I suppose. For me, my favorite courses in school were the ones that the teachers could not really give an objective grade per se, they were the courses where the object was to lose yourself in the creation…to let it flow. Whether writing a story, drawing a portrait, molding clay, or writing then reading a poem – because poetry to me has no meaning no sound no feel until it is read aloud by the writer…with the writer’s inflections.
The other bit of my educational background is the Law degree. Those three scant years appear to define me in some people’s heads more than the four I spent in undergrad, which I enjoyed more and fit me better. So yep, I have a JD. Passed the frigging bar in Kansas too. So for some, I’m an attorney, end of story. They’ve checked that little box in their little heads and no matter what I say or do, there’s no dislodging it. She’s an attorney. They don’t quite understand why I’m not practicing though. There are just some degrees that define people, place them in boxes, impose a specific character type. MD? Doctor. JD? Lawyer. Doesn’t even matter if you practice. But to me? Sigh. I do not define myself as an attorney. Not really. I’ve never really practiced as one. When people ask me if I am one, I’m slightly confused, and say no – don’t practice, sort of like the Catholic thing, no don’t practice.
I have no interest in being an attorney. I can logically deduce things, pick things apart, and analyze problems. I think logically. But a lot of people think logically who never spent a day in law school. I work with the law on a daily basis, but not as an attorney. At times I feel pressure from people – why aren’t you an attorney or you can talk shop with my friend who is an attorney, and I want to scream, not an attorney. I analyze contracts sure and can understand most legal concepts, plus like to analyze the Supreme Court (but so does my parents and my friends and they aren’t attorneys) – none of this defines me as an attorney. Just because you have a degree in something does not define you in that role.
So importance of education? To me it’s about learning new things. I went to law school because the subject matter fascinated me and I do not for one moment regret going or learning the things I did. That was invaluable. I also am proud of my education, proud of learning what I have. What I struggle with internally is how I’ve applied it and where it’s taken me. I worry that I haven’t done enough with it. But I’m not sure such things are remotely measurable. You can’t really take a yard stick and say okay, I got this degree and I should be here…or there by now. I think I value my undergrad education more than the graduate, although both were important and had a hand in forming who I am today. So, about a 10 on importance to me and how I define me. But regarding others? 5
8. Television watching habits
Marketers will use this to figure out where to place commercials or how to advertise.
For me, my habits are impossible to define. I defy you to box me on this one. I watch approximately, give or take an hour or two, 10 hours a week maybe more depending on the week, my mood, and the shows. A good portion of that time is NY1 (a 24 hour impartial news channel specializing in New York News), ABC Nightly News & Evening News (they seem to be less frivolous to me than the other networks for some reason) and occasionally BBC World News or Lehrere Report. I can’t stand CNN, it grates. The other portion of the time is on DVDs rented via netflix. Or I just have it on as background noise while I’m busy doing something else.
TV shows that I actually pay attention to, will probably tape if can’t catch and make a point of watching: BattleStar Galatica, Nip/Tuck, Grey’s Anatomy, Gilmore Girls (although I’ve been fast-forwarding and skipping bits of it, it’s annoying me at the moment), Lost, The Closer, and the 4400. (Note most of these did not air in the same month or season – Closer, BSG, and 4400 are all summer shows. Also if any were cancelled, not sure I’d miss them that much. Odd, but true.)
Shows I watch half-heartedly, at random, can skip, do something during, or will on occasion sit down and pay attention to, but also have a tendency to get antsy during depending on the episode: Smallville (it’s cheesy, completely ludicrous plotwise, but oddly entertaining cotton candy for the brain – plus James Marsters is my current Kevin Spacey, ie – the actor I’ll watch in practically anything no matter how horrid it is), Veronica Mars (Sunday nights at 7pm after Farscape reruns, which isn’t fair since Farscape makes VM look even more vapid and dull by comparison. Should stop watching them back to back, methinks. Even though the last few weeks have bored me silly, I keep getting up and cleaning during VM or typing on the computer, I still flip it on, why? – because I pretty much felt the same way about it last year until the Christmas episode, which blew me away. But Whedon’s guest appearance worries me and makes me wonder if this may have been a one season series? Guest appearances by cult writers who aren’t actors? Desperate much? Wait. Next week, James Marsters will be writing an episode of Smallville. What? It’s not that far-fetched, Freddie Prince Jr. has written for TV as has Amber Benson.) Daytime soap operas shown at night on Soapnet, Desperate Housewives, the West Wing (lately it’s gotten quite good, plus I adore Alan Alda’s Republican Senator turned Presidential Candidate – one of the most complex television characters I’ve seen in a while), Supernatural ( I love the campfire/urban legends they keep doing on this show, last week it was the hook man, another week, bloody mary – way cool – since I collected these legends in undergrad, I find their depiction on TV fascinating. Supernatural is to the Hardy Boys, what VM is to Nancy Drew for the 21st Century.), House (Hugh Laurie), Nightstalker (on occasion), Kitchen Confidential (Bradley Cooper), ER (John Leguzimo and Kristin Johnson), and Arrested Development. (If any of these shows were to disappear tomorrow, I wouldn’t care a whit. Or take much notice. I might miss one or two, but it’s doubtful.)
Shows I’m renting on netflix and adore almost as much if not more than the above: The L Word and Dead Like Me. (also in my queue is the Shield, first season of La Femme Nikita (seen all the other seasons but the first), Jeeves and Wooster ( wasn’t overly impressed by the first disc, but willing to put that down to mood), Once and Again, Carnival (looking forward to, love things like this), 3rd season of Six Feet Under (ditto – only saw first two seasons and miss the show), Deadwood, and Entourage.
Yes – it’s still 10 hours. I don’t watch everything I listed, all the time. Just a few of them. I like TV. I especially like variety on TV. BBC America is sort of cool. And so is IFC, TCM and Sundance.
What I’m hunting for right now are shows that handle themes of being lost, disconnected, hunting identity, questioning the world, and figuring out who we are and how we interact. Can’t define me by genre – I like episodic, serial, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, romance, soap, medical, comedy, mystery, thriller, violent, non-violent, historical and documentary. The only things haven’t listed are reality (bores and grates like nails on a chalk-board, plus I think it hit its saturation point), procedural (can’t focus on it, also distracted by how unrealistic I know it is, and hit its saturation point.)
Importance? 4 maybe 5. I don’t really care what TV shows other people like. Most of my life, I’ve liked the opposite shows from my friends. In high school I adored Fame while everyone else I knew watched Magnum PI (a show I didn’t watch until it hit re-runs), or I was watching Hill Street Blues and St. Elsewhere while everyone else was watching Dallas. Same with BattleStar Galatica – first version, was my guilty little secret. None of my non-online friends watched BTVS, they saw it as a teen gothic soap opera. Which isn’t entirely wrong, it was certainly marketed as one. It does help if they watch some of the same ones – gives you something nice and fluffy to discuss. (Well not always fluffy). But it’s not necessary.
That said, I think people do attempt to define people by their tv shows. And I know I’ve been rejected based on what shows I’ve watched. Oh she watches soap operas, that explains a lot! Or oh, she’s into Star Trek? Total Geek! But I think people are more fluid, not consistent. I think that’s what drives marketing people nuts – the attempt to track television watching behaviors to predict sure-things or hits, when such a thing is in fact impossible to quantify.
9. Movie watching habits
Again, defy you to categorize me. I’ve seen the following flicks this year (or what I remember): Batman Begins, Serenity, The Squid and The Whale, Wallace and Gromit, A History of Violence, Corspe Bride, Bewitched, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, the Upside of Anger, Kiki’s Delivery Service, and hope to see North Country, In Her Shoes, Good Night & Good Luck, Capote and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Rented Oklahoma (Hugh Jackman version), bought West Side Story, also renting Crash, A Day without A Mexican, Donkey Skin, and Kiki’s Delivery Service. My favorites range from Mask of Zorro to Blade Runner to Sabrina (Humphrey Bogart version) to Singing in the Rain to Coppola’s The Conversation, which I believe is his best film and far better than the Godfather series he is known for, even though I have no desire to ever see it again, the images imbedded as they are in my memory. I pretty much like everything and it is very much a mood thing. A movie I hated one day, I might love the next.
I did not enjoy Lost in Translation but adored Virgin Suicides, Sideways and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. One would think if I liked those three, I’d like Lost. Nope. I adored Bill Murray in Rushmore and enjoyed Royal Tennebaums, but Life Acquatic and Lost in Translation put me to sleep on my coach. Didn’t hate them, just went to sleep during them. Also, enjoyed Batman Begins and Attack of the Clones, did not like Revenge of the Sith. Like I said, I defy you to figure me out on this one.
Except for one thing – I clearly love movies. Very visually orientated. Adore them. Make a point of seeing them in theaters, on a big screen. Don’t wait for them to be released. Movies are like chocolate though. Too much, and you have brain and eye pain. Only thing I love more than movies is discussing movies, analyzing them – that and tv shows. Not the shots or the visuals necessarily – although I can do that, but the story arc, the characters, the themes, the plots, the visual metaphors. I also adore the process – analyzing, thinking about it, reading about it.
Importance? 10. I love to talk movies. But don’t necessarily care that much if people like the same ones I do.
10. Reading habits – books, magazines, etc.
I read about everything I can get my hands on and have a tendency to accumulate vast amounts of reading material that I cannot possibly find the time to read. Also read very slowly and carefully, so most of what I read is ingrained in my memory. Except for work related material and business material that I’ve learned to read quickly and scan.
The speed in which I read depends on how much I enjoy the material and how densely written it is.
This is my current reading list – all these things I am reading more or less simultaneously, which may explain why it is taking me so long.
1. The Social Animal by Eliot Aronson
2. How We Know What Isn’t So by Thomas Gilovich
3. Recalled to Life, when patient’s suffer a loss of language, must they also lose their sense of self – a Neurologist’s Notebook by Oliver Sacks in this weeks New Yorker.
4. Superman Red Son – a graphic novel by Mark Millar
5. Pattern Recognition by William Gibson
6. A Storm of Swords by George RR Martin
Just finished:
1. Clash of Kings by George RR Martin (an epic fantasy series that outdoes Dickens in the length department.)
2. “Breyer’s Big Idea” in Annals of Law by Jeffrey Tobin, this week’s New Yorker
3. Entertainment Weekly’s reviews of Serenity and other movies and books, also Stephen King’s column on Halloween.
4. Premiere Magazines Movie Reviews
Books that plan to read next or soon:
1. Money Magazine’s article on Finance
2. New Yorker’s article on why Bush Sr.’s confidante doesn’t like Bush Jr.
3. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel
4. The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood
May change my mind.
Favorite books that come to mind at the moment:
1. Dunnett’s Checkmate
2. Tolkien’s The Hobbit
3. Faulkner’s The Sound and The Fury
4. Truman Capote’s short story “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”
5. The Kite Runner by Khlad Hosseni
6. Robert Heinlein’s Friday
7. Philip K. Dick’s The Three Stigmata of Palmer K. Aldritch
8. Elizabeth Peter’s Night Train to Memphis
9. James Joyce’s The Dubliner’s
10. SE Hinton’s The Outsiders
All open to change at any moment.
I’m not sure you can define people by what they read or what genre hits their fancy at any given moment. Nor by how many books they’ve read on a the best seller list, the national book award list, the pulitizer, the nobel prize or whatever arbitrary list someone comes up with. As an English Major I had been taught to deride certain novels and applaud others, to look with a critical analytical eye. Not sure that was necessary a good thing. It’s so subjective. For instance, I did not like the Da Vinci Code, do not understand its appeal and actually found it sort of slow in places. While the novel has become so popular, it has entered slang. Heard a woman use it the other way to explain something to an attorney in short-hand, she was in sales. And people will categorize based on what you read – certain genres have more respect in our culture than others.
Importance? 7. I admit I have the bad habit of judging people based on what they read. I judge myself. Hiding those books I like that I think others will reject me for out of hand. Or critical of myself for not reading more non-fiction, even though I read reams of non-fiction every day for work, on the internet, for class to the point that at times I feel overwhelmed by it. I try not to care what others read, yet it is the first question I often ask and when I visit someone’s house or home, I scan it for bookshelves and reading materials. I’m not asking to judge them though, so much as to find something safe to discuss, a topic that isn’t political or conflict laden, not realizing, depending on the person, all topics can be. Do I pick books based on what I’ve enjoyed in the past – yes, but experience has taught me to choose more liberally. Just because I liked one book by the author does not mean I’ll enjoy the next one.
Okay, do with that what you will. Off to run errands and such.
On a gloomy Sat, where one just wants to curl up and read a good book, came up with this meme that has been rolling about in my head most of the week or ever since I read the spirtuality meme online and had an interesting, albeit brief discussion with
frenchani in my lj.Meme – descriptive trait.
Box – a square, rectangle or even a circle, contains items, often a defined category with label attached.
Purpose – predicting behavior and interests and personality of individual answering the questions. Determining a commonality of interest or traits in order to select friends, spouses, lovers, members of a group, employees, applicants to graduate or undergraduate programs, and private schools. Knowing who fits where, who clicks with whom. Who should be excluded and who included.
Categories/questions obtained from applications, marketing questionnaires and surveys, quiz memes, online dating matches & email questionnaires.
Rules: 1. Define the category that you are answering. EX: What do you consider your country of origin to be? What does that mean to you, is it important?
2. Is it important others share these traits? Rate importance on scale of 1-10, 10 vital, 1 not. Would you reject or select someone based on their answer? How important is their answer to you? (ex: Define Liberal or conservative – what does it mean to you and how do you perceive the category that you aren’t? If you define yourself as liberal, do you dislike and reject conversatives?)
3. Length : one word or as many as you want.
Here’s the list of questions. I’m just doing 10. You can do as many or as little as you want. The questions have one thing in common, with the possible exception of the last one, done in honor of Halloween, is that they are all used to define what people are like, categorize, and reject or select them based on their answers.
1.Country of origin (also state or territory depending on where you live)
2. religious heritage (not to be confused with religion you currently practice or don’t)
3. racial background or ethnicity
4. age
5. gender
6. height and weight
7. education
8. Television watching habits: TV shows currently watch, how many hours a week, what you enjoy, how much is news related – tv news shows you watch
9. Movie watching habits: Types of movies you watch, movies you enjoy, most recent movies, favorites
10. Reading habits: Books, magazines, newspapers, journals you are reading
11. Listening habits: Radio stations, music, ipod, mp3, just CDs, tapes
12. Food – favorite foods, food issues, foods won’t eat – Vegetarian, Non-Vegetarian, Vegan?
13. Liberal or Conservative? (can be economic or social or both)
14. Religious belief (not to be confused with heritage: ie. Are you practicing a religion and do you believe in God?)
15. Sexual Orientation
16. Sports/Athletic Pursuits (what you watch, what you play, how much time you put into watching, do you bet on them)
17. Married or single
18. Do you drink (alcohol)? Socially? Extensively? Alone? Not at all?
19. Smoke or don’t smoke?
20. Fashion or Favorite Clothes (do you pay attention to fashion? Are you a shopper?)
21. Current Abode – home you live in (apartment, house, boat, trailer) and where
22. What state or country or territory do you currently live in? What village, city, suburb?
23. Children ? (Do you have them, how many, do you plan on having them, how do you feel about them? )
24. Occupation Currently Have and Occupation Currently Dream of. (Can be one and the same)
25. What do you fear?
I’m cut tagging my answers for length and well other reasons.
1. Country and (if in the US or area with a specific territory, State) of Origin
People always ask where do I hail from? They can tell I’m not a native New Yorker, don’t have the accent. My accent is actually the same as most newscasters. When I say I lived in Kansas City, they immediately assume I’m from Kansas City. Born and raised. A hick from hicks town. Not true of course, KC being far from Hicksville, if you’ve ever been, you’ll note it is roughly the same size as Dublin, Ireland and Houston, Texas and to a degree San Francisco (okay San Fran may be bigger). Plus heavily populated with a diverse range of people. Nor was I born in Kansas City or necessarily raised there. I’ve lived in roughly five states in my life. Evanston, Ill – born. Childhood in Chester County, Pa. Teen years and most of my twenties in Kansas City, Colorado Springs, Co and Lawrence, KS respectively. Last ten – NYC, thank you very much. So what is my state of origin? I guess the one I was in the longest, KC, but I’d rather pick Pa. My country, USA.
Importance? 2 possibly 3 on the scale for state. But 6 for country. It means a lot to me where I’m from. Part and parcel so to speak and I’m proud of my country, even if I often despise the government – I don’t believe a country should be judged on it’s government’s actions, even though I know others disagree with me. I don’t so much care where others hail from. Weird I know. Admit I’m a bit of an anglophile – I tend to be predisposed towards folks who speak with a British, Australian, Welsh, Irish, and or Scottish accent. Also since I suck at linguistics and struggle with deciphering certain words – I’m predisposed to English speakers, also predisposed towards individual from far away places or places outside my own country.
2. Religious heritage – not to be confused with religion you practice.
This is the religion that you were born in, the one your family practiced and raised you to practice or talked about.
Raised Catholic. Father’s family Catholic. Baptized Catholic. So Catholic. Feel the Catholicism may be in my blood, in my bones sometimes – my father’s mother certainly believed so. Course she believed if you weren’t Catholic, you’d go directly to hell, without passing Go on the way down. (One of the many things I did not like about the woman. Loved her, did not like her. ) Didn’t go to Catholic schools, but did do CCD – catechism classes every Sunday, got confirmed when I came of age – just two years younger than the batmitza or barmitza for most of my Jewish friends. At least I know I was confirmed prior to my friend Melanie’s barmitza, which was in Junior high school. Being Catholic meant giving up things for Lent, believing in the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause, not eating meat on Friday’s during Lent, and caring about communion but not so much the sermon, which I either daydreamed during or went to sleep. Also lots and lots of lengthy prayers – Hail Mary Full of Grace, the I Confess, the “I believe in one holy ….” (know it has a name but it escapes me at the moment), etc. Parents are devout, well to a degree, they ignore the Pope and the Vatican and most of the Church’s dictates, but do go to Church, take communion and are currently doing a bible study of sorts. I think they take issue with man-made doctrine becoming God’s doctrine. Doesn’t hurt that Dad is a historian and has studied the stuff. Dad also spent time in the seminary – two years in fact, before he gave up and took off to get the GI Bill. Oh and one of my Dad’s five brothers is a priest, named Patrick and born on St. Patrick’s day of all things. Yep, he hailed from your typical large Irish Catholic family.
Importance? Not very high. Probably 1 or 2. I don’t necessarily define myself as Catholic. Don’t really understand the rational behind defining oneself by religious heritage or placing too much importance on it. I don’t care if you are Hindu, Jewish, Episcopalian, Protestant, Catholic, Buddhist, Pagan, Wiccan, or any number of faiths I haven’t listed. Find it slightly annoying that people do care about such things, actually. Am convinced the world would be a happier, safer, kinder place if we put far less importance on religious heritage than we currently do. I also find it odd that historically people who have been rejected based on their religious heritage are predisposed to persecute and reject others based on religious heritage, almost as if they are seeking vengeance or something.
3. Racial or ethnic background
Never much liked this category on applications. Felt odd answering White. Don’t feel white. Skin is more olive toned. Fair. But not white. Not porcelin. Also Caucasion? What is that? WASP? God no. Although there was a lady in book club once who accused me of being one, or it felt like an accusation at any rate. “Always thought you were a WASP.” White Anglo Saxon Protestant. Except for the White part, not. More like Celt, if anything. Or how about: 5% Welsh, 5% Belgium, 5% Scotish, 55% Irish, and the rest German? I told her she was confusing the German physical traits with Anglo Saxon. Not quite sure what she thought Anglo Saxon looked or acted like. Did I come across to her as snobby? Prissy? Friend Wales is a WASP – White, Anglo Saxon, Welsh, Protestant. Okay, that more like WASWP. And as far from prissy or snobby upper crust as one could get. Does it mean anything to me? Not a whit.
Importance: 1. Don’t really understand why people care or make judgments based on it. Yet we do and I wish we didn’t. World would be a nicer place if we didn’t. Course that may be easy for me to say, being olive toned and not dark skinned – course I am predisposed towards individuals with dark skin tones and tend to think dark skinned is far more attractive than light skinned, so there you go. White is pasty. Dark and black – is velvet, glowing, beautiful.
4. Age
Thirty-eight years young. Feel old at times and young at others. Situational. Does it matter? I think so. Experience makes us who we are, whether it’s our own or those experiences we’ve seen played out indirectly through others. Then again there are those who have done the equivalent of 50 years of living within 16 years, and those who have done the equivalent of ten within 50. We all have our own timetables, methinks, I’m not sure placing too much importance on physical age is a good thing. Then again, I find myself doing it all the same.
I fear and anticipate my 40s. Fear them for what I have not accomplished up til now and may not have the chance to. Anticipate for what I have yet to do. The turning of the next page so to speak.
I’d say that when choosing friends or partners I’m predisposed towards own age or older rather than younger, but not true. Have dated and become close friends with people throughout the spectrum. That said, I tend to date people within at least 5 years of my own age.
5. Gender – Male and female.
Female. Thought it would be obvious by nom de plume, but as luck would have it there are men on the net who also use shadowkat. Go figure. Sounded like a female name to me. But then I tend to think of Cameron and Sydney as male names, [cousin named her twins, boy and a girl, Cameron and Sydney, obviously an Alias fan], so what do I know? I’m feminine, although there are times in which I can’t help but wonder if there’s a man inside of me aching to break free. So yeah, masculine too. There’s a guy in here as well. One who is decidedly not into fashion, make-up, or girly pursuits, but likes men, oh so much.
Discussed this with a friend recently, she has problems with women who impersonate men – finds it a real turn off, but no difficulties with guys impersonating woman. Odd, somewhat ambivalent on men impersonating woman, actually to be honest, do not understand the men impersonating women. Why oh why oh why would anyone put on hose, high heels, and a skin tight mini skirt/ halter if they did not have to? My god, it’s uncomfortable. You can’t sit down, you can’t cross your legs, and when you walk your arches ache, your back aches, your calves ache, and your toes feel as if they’ve been pinched. I’m just not masochistic enough to be a sex-kitten or fashion maven, I guess. I hate physical pain. I may fantasize about S&M, but the actual idea of it? (shudder) It’s why I don’t have body piercings or tattoos…needles, pain, eww.
Women impersonating men on the other hand, makes perfect sense – wear jeans, shirts, bomber jackets, comfortable shoes, baseball hats, let the frigging hair in places we will not name grow as much as it pleases (ie. No waxing or shaving baby). I think the problem with gender is we always think its better on the other side of the fence. When I think about it for a while, I realize, I like it where I am. Don’t have any desire to be a guy. Except for the advantages – employment and financial – like it or not, men are still paid more than women, still picked for jobs, have more opportunities, still get to play a wider range of sports, and still get the power roles. Check out the ratio of men to women on the majority of tv shows and movies sometime – yes the balance is beginning to tilt in the opposite direction, it always does when it goes too far one way, but still. To get power – women often have to take on male attributes. Also Western and Eastern religions place a high importance on gender – women are literally considered second class citizens, property or children in some of them.
That said? While I wouldn’t describe myself as girly (allergic to most perfumes and never been heavily into the accessories – purse, jewelry, scarves), I do like bits of it. I do at times, as the song from Flower Drum Song goes, do enjoy being a girl. And when push comes to shove, couldn’t imagine life any differently.
What I take issue with however is how we define people’s roles by their gender. You should do this because you are a boy or that because you are a girl. Firmen? Boy job. Secretary? Girl job. Human Resources – girl gutter. Pink for girls. Blue for boys. Boys are good at math, girls aren’t. Girls do pottery (my pottery teacher is a man, a large muscular, manly guy with a girlfriend). Kid bro refused to tell the sex of his unborn kid for a while because he didn’t want people to buy gender specific garments.
Importance? Not that much. The importance society places on it? 10no
Height and Weight
People are categorized and judged by this all the time. And all the online dating sites ask: heavy, proportionate, thin, in shape? Tall? Short? My family has a bit of a complex about it. Mother especially – because her mother was overweight and her father was critical of it, being rod thin. The men in my family are tall and rod thin, the women, tall and stocky, fleshy or short and stocky. Except Mom who was also very thin until her 40s. I’ve always been a bit rebellious, ignoring her. Mom has also always been envious of petite women, kid-bro even married one, which I think annoyed and puzzled my parents on some level neither has admitted to aloud. Dad, on the other hand, doesn’t get the appeal of petite– he likes the gams, long and leggy. I need to find someone like my Dad, a legs man, not a boobs guy into tiny girls. Defensive much? Sigh, that’s what this category does to people. When I was a kid, I used to walk to and from school each week with a girl named Anu, she was lovely, but heavy. I made the mistake of taking her to my house once, where my mother went on and on about how I could lose weight totally oblivious to the fact that Anu weighed more than I did.
You’re too thin? You’re too fat? God, our society is royally fucked up. Course Western Culture’s religious traditions are “fast for an entire day” then “binge”. Yom Kippur – fast all day, binge on lots of food the next. Ramadan – fast each day, binge at night. Easter – fast on Friday or give up something for five weeks, then get a sugar high on Easter Sunday. The media doesn’t help – you have to be skinny and tall – no petite and skinny, but hey eat chocolate and champagne and how about a steak? Plus, have you been to a restaurant lately? You get a huge bowl of bread, plus a meal that is big enough to feed two or at least three people. Then afterwards? They ask if you want desert and deliver one big enough to be split between two people. Add wine, soda, coffee with milk and sugar to the menu, and well your stomach expands as your wallet shrinks. Also it’s bloody expensive to eat healthy. Trust me, I know. I spent a lot less on food when I was eating bread products (wheat pasta – 99 cents, corn pasta - $3). Salad? $5-$6. Fried Chicken fingers? $4. Clam Chowder – $2.50, Salad with chicken $6. Hot dog - $1. If you’re broke, you will gain weight, the odds are against you, you can’t afford the gym, the pilates classes, the salads and the healthy foods. How heavy you are has become its own specific box depicting class, economic status, income, societal acceptance, and success.
Me? Last I checked? Which was on a movie theater scale since I do not own a scale and refuse to buy one. 5’11 and 193 pounds, and I was wearing shoes, jeans, a shirt, and a jacket at the time. Oh Shut up. I’m big boned, okay. Not bad. May be 188, which is the last rung in the proportionate weight category, before you are considered “over-weight” by the people who place importance on these things. People are also annoyingly idiotic when it comes to weight allotments. Read a comic book description of a female superhero : 6 ft and 135 pounds. Uhm, no. Not if you want her to have a bust, muscles, and thighs. I’m sorry but 6 ft and 135 pounds is stick thin with no bust and no muscle tone. Men have conception of the size or weight of a woman’s proportions any more than women do about men, and proportions vary depending on body height, bone structure, and whether you are long or short limbed.
My waist size is currently floating between 12 and 14. Shirt 14 and 16. Everything is hanging on me. This is a bit of an accomplishment by the way, since in 2003 I weighed a little over 219 pounds and was between an 18-20 dress size. How’d I do it? Sigh. Gluten-free baby and a doss of stress, stir. Trust me, you too can lose the weight if you stop eating anything with barely, oats, wheat, millet, spelt, minnet, kamut, in it. Also helps if you go off soda, vitamin water, sweets, and down-size on portions. Plus stop drinking beer, wine and other alcoholic beverages. Haven’t given up chocolat or ice cream though. Also still eating cheese and meat. But don’t for a minute think I did all that with the intent to lose weight, I did it because I ended up in the emergency room from hell with a gastrointestinal attack. Losing weight was just the happy side-effect.
Importance? Ah, odd. In a friend? None. 0. Zippo. I’ve had friends who’ve ranged in height from 4 ft to 6’3. I’ve had friends who’ve ranged in weight from 90 pounds to 300. Really don’t give a crap. People are people, you know? Also I’ve known folks who are incredibly happy and kind, with successful marriages and great sex lives, who are heavy, and folks who are incredibly miserable and mean who are stick thin. As well as vice versa. I tend to veer towards heavier folks. Softer. Less sharp edges. Plus, I like food and so do they. But to be honest? I don’t care what people look like. And to be honest, some of the most beautiful people I’ve met are well over 200 pounds and some of the ugliest well below it. Gaunt is not attractive. I don’t want to see someone’s bones and some people look better with a bit of flesh on them -*cough*SaraMichelleGeller*cough*. Some look better with less flesh on them. It depends. I know I look better with less flesh. I think its how you feel about you that matters.
That said, I’m only physically attracted to tall slender men. Or men who are between 165-230 pounds, and 5’10-6’5. I basically want a guy who is bigger than me or close to the same size. I do not want to be bigger than the guy, huge turn-off.
7. Educational Background
In college they always asked me what’s your major. Annoyed the bloody hell out of me. Why? Cause, I considered my minor more descriptive of me than my Major. Truth is I took a variety of courses and didn’t like being pigeonholed. The difficulty I had with school was the choices and the time constraints. I wanted to try everything and could only do a few.
So what is my educational background? BA. Bachelors of Arts. Distinction in English. Thematic Minor in Epic, Myth and Folklore. I basically majored in the writing of and analysis of literary and oral stories. Within all that – had a smattering of dance, art, pottery, batik, music/opera appreciation, psychology, sociology, anthropology, math, biology, and theology. It’s what folks like to call a Liberal Arts Education, I suppose. Oh and I wrote and read my own poetry to lots of people. I won’t say it was bad or good, since I’m of the opinion that the only people who put such qualifications on poetry are literary snobs who spend far too much time worrying over rhythmic structure and less worrying over why the person wrote it to begin with. Poetry comes from the soul, it’s the music of the soul, it either clicks for you or doesn’t. It can seem at times to be woefully self-indulgent and flowery and at others to be arcane and obtuse. There’s no good or bad. It’s too subjective. It’s another box – I suppose. For me, my favorite courses in school were the ones that the teachers could not really give an objective grade per se, they were the courses where the object was to lose yourself in the creation…to let it flow. Whether writing a story, drawing a portrait, molding clay, or writing then reading a poem – because poetry to me has no meaning no sound no feel until it is read aloud by the writer…with the writer’s inflections.
The other bit of my educational background is the Law degree. Those three scant years appear to define me in some people’s heads more than the four I spent in undergrad, which I enjoyed more and fit me better. So yep, I have a JD. Passed the frigging bar in Kansas too. So for some, I’m an attorney, end of story. They’ve checked that little box in their little heads and no matter what I say or do, there’s no dislodging it. She’s an attorney. They don’t quite understand why I’m not practicing though. There are just some degrees that define people, place them in boxes, impose a specific character type. MD? Doctor. JD? Lawyer. Doesn’t even matter if you practice. But to me? Sigh. I do not define myself as an attorney. Not really. I’ve never really practiced as one. When people ask me if I am one, I’m slightly confused, and say no – don’t practice, sort of like the Catholic thing, no don’t practice.
I have no interest in being an attorney. I can logically deduce things, pick things apart, and analyze problems. I think logically. But a lot of people think logically who never spent a day in law school. I work with the law on a daily basis, but not as an attorney. At times I feel pressure from people – why aren’t you an attorney or you can talk shop with my friend who is an attorney, and I want to scream, not an attorney. I analyze contracts sure and can understand most legal concepts, plus like to analyze the Supreme Court (but so does my parents and my friends and they aren’t attorneys) – none of this defines me as an attorney. Just because you have a degree in something does not define you in that role.
So importance of education? To me it’s about learning new things. I went to law school because the subject matter fascinated me and I do not for one moment regret going or learning the things I did. That was invaluable. I also am proud of my education, proud of learning what I have. What I struggle with internally is how I’ve applied it and where it’s taken me. I worry that I haven’t done enough with it. But I’m not sure such things are remotely measurable. You can’t really take a yard stick and say okay, I got this degree and I should be here…or there by now. I think I value my undergrad education more than the graduate, although both were important and had a hand in forming who I am today. So, about a 10 on importance to me and how I define me. But regarding others? 5
8. Television watching habits
Marketers will use this to figure out where to place commercials or how to advertise.
For me, my habits are impossible to define. I defy you to box me on this one. I watch approximately, give or take an hour or two, 10 hours a week maybe more depending on the week, my mood, and the shows. A good portion of that time is NY1 (a 24 hour impartial news channel specializing in New York News), ABC Nightly News & Evening News (they seem to be less frivolous to me than the other networks for some reason) and occasionally BBC World News or Lehrere Report. I can’t stand CNN, it grates. The other portion of the time is on DVDs rented via netflix. Or I just have it on as background noise while I’m busy doing something else.
TV shows that I actually pay attention to, will probably tape if can’t catch and make a point of watching: BattleStar Galatica, Nip/Tuck, Grey’s Anatomy, Gilmore Girls (although I’ve been fast-forwarding and skipping bits of it, it’s annoying me at the moment), Lost, The Closer, and the 4400. (Note most of these did not air in the same month or season – Closer, BSG, and 4400 are all summer shows. Also if any were cancelled, not sure I’d miss them that much. Odd, but true.)
Shows I watch half-heartedly, at random, can skip, do something during, or will on occasion sit down and pay attention to, but also have a tendency to get antsy during depending on the episode: Smallville (it’s cheesy, completely ludicrous plotwise, but oddly entertaining cotton candy for the brain – plus James Marsters is my current Kevin Spacey, ie – the actor I’ll watch in practically anything no matter how horrid it is), Veronica Mars (Sunday nights at 7pm after Farscape reruns, which isn’t fair since Farscape makes VM look even more vapid and dull by comparison. Should stop watching them back to back, methinks. Even though the last few weeks have bored me silly, I keep getting up and cleaning during VM or typing on the computer, I still flip it on, why? – because I pretty much felt the same way about it last year until the Christmas episode, which blew me away. But Whedon’s guest appearance worries me and makes me wonder if this may have been a one season series? Guest appearances by cult writers who aren’t actors? Desperate much? Wait. Next week, James Marsters will be writing an episode of Smallville. What? It’s not that far-fetched, Freddie Prince Jr. has written for TV as has Amber Benson.) Daytime soap operas shown at night on Soapnet, Desperate Housewives, the West Wing (lately it’s gotten quite good, plus I adore Alan Alda’s Republican Senator turned Presidential Candidate – one of the most complex television characters I’ve seen in a while), Supernatural ( I love the campfire/urban legends they keep doing on this show, last week it was the hook man, another week, bloody mary – way cool – since I collected these legends in undergrad, I find their depiction on TV fascinating. Supernatural is to the Hardy Boys, what VM is to Nancy Drew for the 21st Century.), House (Hugh Laurie), Nightstalker (on occasion), Kitchen Confidential (Bradley Cooper), ER (John Leguzimo and Kristin Johnson), and Arrested Development. (If any of these shows were to disappear tomorrow, I wouldn’t care a whit. Or take much notice. I might miss one or two, but it’s doubtful.)
Shows I’m renting on netflix and adore almost as much if not more than the above: The L Word and Dead Like Me. (also in my queue is the Shield, first season of La Femme Nikita (seen all the other seasons but the first), Jeeves and Wooster ( wasn’t overly impressed by the first disc, but willing to put that down to mood), Once and Again, Carnival (looking forward to, love things like this), 3rd season of Six Feet Under (ditto – only saw first two seasons and miss the show), Deadwood, and Entourage.
Yes – it’s still 10 hours. I don’t watch everything I listed, all the time. Just a few of them. I like TV. I especially like variety on TV. BBC America is sort of cool. And so is IFC, TCM and Sundance.
What I’m hunting for right now are shows that handle themes of being lost, disconnected, hunting identity, questioning the world, and figuring out who we are and how we interact. Can’t define me by genre – I like episodic, serial, sci-fi, fantasy, horror, romance, soap, medical, comedy, mystery, thriller, violent, non-violent, historical and documentary. The only things haven’t listed are reality (bores and grates like nails on a chalk-board, plus I think it hit its saturation point), procedural (can’t focus on it, also distracted by how unrealistic I know it is, and hit its saturation point.)
Importance? 4 maybe 5. I don’t really care what TV shows other people like. Most of my life, I’ve liked the opposite shows from my friends. In high school I adored Fame while everyone else I knew watched Magnum PI (a show I didn’t watch until it hit re-runs), or I was watching Hill Street Blues and St. Elsewhere while everyone else was watching Dallas. Same with BattleStar Galatica – first version, was my guilty little secret. None of my non-online friends watched BTVS, they saw it as a teen gothic soap opera. Which isn’t entirely wrong, it was certainly marketed as one. It does help if they watch some of the same ones – gives you something nice and fluffy to discuss. (Well not always fluffy). But it’s not necessary.
That said, I think people do attempt to define people by their tv shows. And I know I’ve been rejected based on what shows I’ve watched. Oh she watches soap operas, that explains a lot! Or oh, she’s into Star Trek? Total Geek! But I think people are more fluid, not consistent. I think that’s what drives marketing people nuts – the attempt to track television watching behaviors to predict sure-things or hits, when such a thing is in fact impossible to quantify.
9. Movie watching habits
Again, defy you to categorize me. I’ve seen the following flicks this year (or what I remember): Batman Begins, Serenity, The Squid and The Whale, Wallace and Gromit, A History of Violence, Corspe Bride, Bewitched, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, the Upside of Anger, Kiki’s Delivery Service, and hope to see North Country, In Her Shoes, Good Night & Good Luck, Capote and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Rented Oklahoma (Hugh Jackman version), bought West Side Story, also renting Crash, A Day without A Mexican, Donkey Skin, and Kiki’s Delivery Service. My favorites range from Mask of Zorro to Blade Runner to Sabrina (Humphrey Bogart version) to Singing in the Rain to Coppola’s The Conversation, which I believe is his best film and far better than the Godfather series he is known for, even though I have no desire to ever see it again, the images imbedded as they are in my memory. I pretty much like everything and it is very much a mood thing. A movie I hated one day, I might love the next.
I did not enjoy Lost in Translation but adored Virgin Suicides, Sideways and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. One would think if I liked those three, I’d like Lost. Nope. I adored Bill Murray in Rushmore and enjoyed Royal Tennebaums, but Life Acquatic and Lost in Translation put me to sleep on my coach. Didn’t hate them, just went to sleep during them. Also, enjoyed Batman Begins and Attack of the Clones, did not like Revenge of the Sith. Like I said, I defy you to figure me out on this one.
Except for one thing – I clearly love movies. Very visually orientated. Adore them. Make a point of seeing them in theaters, on a big screen. Don’t wait for them to be released. Movies are like chocolate though. Too much, and you have brain and eye pain. Only thing I love more than movies is discussing movies, analyzing them – that and tv shows. Not the shots or the visuals necessarily – although I can do that, but the story arc, the characters, the themes, the plots, the visual metaphors. I also adore the process – analyzing, thinking about it, reading about it.
Importance? 10. I love to talk movies. But don’t necessarily care that much if people like the same ones I do.
10. Reading habits – books, magazines, etc.
I read about everything I can get my hands on and have a tendency to accumulate vast amounts of reading material that I cannot possibly find the time to read. Also read very slowly and carefully, so most of what I read is ingrained in my memory. Except for work related material and business material that I’ve learned to read quickly and scan.
The speed in which I read depends on how much I enjoy the material and how densely written it is.
This is my current reading list – all these things I am reading more or less simultaneously, which may explain why it is taking me so long.
1. The Social Animal by Eliot Aronson
2. How We Know What Isn’t So by Thomas Gilovich
3. Recalled to Life, when patient’s suffer a loss of language, must they also lose their sense of self – a Neurologist’s Notebook by Oliver Sacks in this weeks New Yorker.
4. Superman Red Son – a graphic novel by Mark Millar
5. Pattern Recognition by William Gibson
6. A Storm of Swords by George RR Martin
Just finished:
1. Clash of Kings by George RR Martin (an epic fantasy series that outdoes Dickens in the length department.)
2. “Breyer’s Big Idea” in Annals of Law by Jeffrey Tobin, this week’s New Yorker
3. Entertainment Weekly’s reviews of Serenity and other movies and books, also Stephen King’s column on Halloween.
4. Premiere Magazines Movie Reviews
Books that plan to read next or soon:
1. Money Magazine’s article on Finance
2. New Yorker’s article on why Bush Sr.’s confidante doesn’t like Bush Jr.
3. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel
4. The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood
May change my mind.
Favorite books that come to mind at the moment:
1. Dunnett’s Checkmate
2. Tolkien’s The Hobbit
3. Faulkner’s The Sound and The Fury
4. Truman Capote’s short story “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”
5. The Kite Runner by Khlad Hosseni
6. Robert Heinlein’s Friday
7. Philip K. Dick’s The Three Stigmata of Palmer K. Aldritch
8. Elizabeth Peter’s Night Train to Memphis
9. James Joyce’s The Dubliner’s
10. SE Hinton’s The Outsiders
All open to change at any moment.
I’m not sure you can define people by what they read or what genre hits their fancy at any given moment. Nor by how many books they’ve read on a the best seller list, the national book award list, the pulitizer, the nobel prize or whatever arbitrary list someone comes up with. As an English Major I had been taught to deride certain novels and applaud others, to look with a critical analytical eye. Not sure that was necessary a good thing. It’s so subjective. For instance, I did not like the Da Vinci Code, do not understand its appeal and actually found it sort of slow in places. While the novel has become so popular, it has entered slang. Heard a woman use it the other way to explain something to an attorney in short-hand, she was in sales. And people will categorize based on what you read – certain genres have more respect in our culture than others.
Importance? 7. I admit I have the bad habit of judging people based on what they read. I judge myself. Hiding those books I like that I think others will reject me for out of hand. Or critical of myself for not reading more non-fiction, even though I read reams of non-fiction every day for work, on the internet, for class to the point that at times I feel overwhelmed by it. I try not to care what others read, yet it is the first question I often ask and when I visit someone’s house or home, I scan it for bookshelves and reading materials. I’m not asking to judge them though, so much as to find something safe to discuss, a topic that isn’t political or conflict laden, not realizing, depending on the person, all topics can be. Do I pick books based on what I’ve enjoyed in the past – yes, but experience has taught me to choose more liberally. Just because I liked one book by the author does not mean I’ll enjoy the next one.
Okay, do with that what you will. Off to run errands and such.
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Date: 2005-10-29 10:03 pm (UTC)This made me laugh! Isn't it hilarious how the fantasy is just so inaccurate. When I was 135, and it has been a long while, I was skin and bones, bruising all of the bones that stuck out. It cracks me up that the big breasted fantasy is placed on such small women. They would tip over if it was a reality. To have naturally large breasts, almost all women need a little padding elsewhere to even out the proportion. Therefore, the skiney big breasted women is mostly little more than fantasy.
I won't even go into the tall guy - short girl thing. Power trip is all I will say. You would think guys that big would have learned that they actually are big guys, and that they needn't worry about it and make themselves appear larger (and feel large) by being around smaller people. Makes me laugh now every time.
I find it really interesting that people need use gender stereotypes to insure their masculinity and femininity. They miss so much!
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Date: 2005-10-30 03:38 am (UTC)For instance, I never gain any weight in my ass, remains tight and small. My weight goes in my bust, thighs/hips, waist-line, shoulders/neck and face.
Since I'm long-limbed I can carry more weight than most people and big-boned, require a bit of flesh or look funny. A small boned person, would look obsese at my weight, yet she could be the same height. Doctors forget when they make their scales that bone weight and size is a factor.
Why do so many men like tiny women? Is it a power trip? I wonder if I have the right to judge since I'm clearly not attracted to small men, at least not any more. I was oddly enough when I was much younger. In college and in high school, I was attracted to men who were either my height or 5'8 or below, course during those years, I didn't have much to choose from. It was personality and eyes and face that turned me on. Rejection - made me change my tastes and focus on men my height or taller. So my taste changed due to rejection. I think in some respects the same may be true for some men? Do they feel less rejected, more manly? Rejection is a powerful motivator - I think. The fear of it. It certainly motivates a lot of women to get surgical procedures to lose weight or go on fad diets, as it motivates a lot of people to spend lots and lots of money on make-up, clothing, etc. Not that it is the only motivator, but I do think it plays a role.
Thanks for the response. I think I sort of got carried away. Sometimes I come into my journal and it's like I'm just downloading brain matter, aware people may read, nervous they will, wanting them to, yet at the same time oddly unaware. If that makes sense.
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Date: 2005-10-30 01:10 pm (UTC)Lately I have been very shy on lj. A confluence of things I think. I write out responses, then shorten them, edit them, and often delete them. I have also privatized a few things that I wrote too. Call it suspicious behavior and the glare of the wide world that freaks me a little. It is always after the fact when I reread a post, and the original mood that prompted a post passes, that I feel this way.
It is funny that on lj rules of attraction (friendship I mean) are so different. Brain matter only. In some ways it really does cut out all of the other stuff that we depend upon in rl for friendship. In some ways it gets directly to the heart of a matter, and in other ways, just as hidden or as complex as real life can be. Lj as iceberg. Heh, waterline as the f'lock or filter's edge.
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Date: 2005-10-30 04:03 pm (UTC)Hee. Thanks. Although after the fact, I often wonder, shit, why did you do that. Undo, undo. But sigh, too late. So nice to hear that you like it.
Lately I have been very shy on lj. A confluence of things I think. I write out responses, then shorten them, edit them, and often delete them. I have also privatized a few things that I wrote too. Call it suspicious behavior and the glare of the wide world that freaks me a little. It is always after the fact when I reread a post, and the original mood that prompted a post passes, that I feel this way.
Been feeling much the same way. I've even filtered and locked a post that made me uneasy. Something I've never done. And I seldom respond to others posts any more. Just wrote out a response now and deleted it, worried about how it came across. Did that four or five times yesterday and on Monday.
It is funny that on lj rules of attraction (friendship I mean) are so different. Brain matter only. In some ways it really does cut out all of the other stuff that we depend upon in rl for friendship. In some ways it gets directly to the heart of a matter, and in other ways, just as hidden or as complex as real life can be. Lj as iceberg. Heh, waterline as the f'lock or filter's edge.
So true. Had the same feel on posting boards. There's an odd safety to be found in the faceless communication of correspondence. We have, I want to say, almost more control over it. We can edit our responses, delete them, or delete the reponse to us. We can also avoid that which bugs us. But we can't do this in our day to day lives.