For the frustrated and weary writers out there who are in the same boat as me...

[shadowkat]

Pimping again - from one weary, frustrated writer to the rest, read this - it hails from tightropegirl's journal - a woman who wrote her first novel on a computer in the bowels of EF Hutton while working the late shift. (I know this because I happen to know the guy who was working next to her at the time.) And who, (tightropegirl not the guy), is now an accomplished television writer on House. There is hope. Always hope. Even on dreary cold January days like this one... You just have to keep plugging away is all.

Certainly made me feel better - after writing several paragraphs late last night on my own novel, only to blast myself for it this morning and think no, no, no...doesn't work and no one will like it because the writing has more in common with sarah dunant than marcel proust.
The inner critic it is not always one's friend. So another quick scan of the lj, then back to my novel for a bit, dinner, and more knitting.

Making loads of progress on the knitting. Have graduated from my first swarf or patch to a patchwork scarf using two skienes of yarn. Actually switched yarns today. Not as hard as one would think. Actually knitting is proving to be much easier than pottery (not to mention cheaper and far less messy) and salsa dancing ever were. Plus it has the added benefit of being portable - you can knit anywhere. It's also easier than getting stories and novels published and job-hunting - but that's another matter.

Comments

[beanbeans.livejournal.com]

I'm so deeply grateful that we've friended one another--I can't tell you how heartwarming hopeful and inspiring posts like this one have been to me. You're a lovely person, shadowkat.

All my best to you as you work through a new part of your novel tonight. ♥

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

Oh thank you! Thank you so much for your response.

Wish most of my posts were like this one, it's hard sometimes not to use one's journal as means of venting/ranting at the world. And lately the temptation does overwhelm. So am very glad when I am able to help others by sharing posts I've read that have touched me.

Thank you again. And best of luck on your novel and your WIP, which I'm eagerly awaiting the next section of - but no pressure.

[embers-log.livejournal.com]

I went ahead and friended tightropegirl's lj because I really do love her writing... just that phrase about how 'my work is ... too awkward and it doesn't know how to button its coat properly!'
LOL
There is a lot to be said by just putting down something even if it is half-baked...because it can't become completely baked without some kind of engagement with the work, and of course sometimes half-baked can be good!

Anyway I always enjoy the posts you pimp, and I'm glad that the knitting is moving ahead! It is fun to have a project that can go anywhere with you, and is inexpensive. I think it is one of the things I love about drawing: if I have a piece of paper, and a pencil or pen, I can pretty much always entertain myself.

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

I used to use drawing in the way I'm using knitting. (Can't tell you how many pictures I've drawn of James Marsters from fan magazines - because his face just lent itself to sketching - the man has a highly sketchable face.)
But over time, got frustrated with the drawing - because inner critic again.
And got tire of getting pencil lead all over my hands. Hee.

Knitting's my new obsession. Quite the dilletante, in case you haven't noticed. I have a tendency to jump from one thing to another - artwise. In the early 90's I drew and watercolored portraits based on photos taken. Now, I knit. The only constant I think has been writing - which may be the reason I'm not a better artist - my writing muse is a jealous muse it has no patience for interlopers, I'm afraid.

tightropegirl rarely posts, lately she's been doing it a lot though, which makes me think that work has either slowed down or become managable and she's less stressed. Writes the best process bits on lj, even better than jane e's in my opinion.

[embers-log.livejournal.com]

My thing has always been painting and drawing...I'm not particularly good at sewing or knitting...even when I do craft projects they are centered around painting and drawing.
I started a couple of romances once, but I found that once I had written down my idea (the few chapters I had dialog for) I immediately lost interest completely.... It wasn't so much writers' block as it was that I had had an itch, and just writing down a couple of chapters scratched it. So clearly writing is NOT my thing. I'm not even sure I have a thing. My sister's art work was so subtle and beautiful that it is hard for me to promote my cartoons.

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

I think, and this is hard to do and part of the whole do as I say not as I do thing, but you need to separate your sister's work from yours or not compare the two.

My brother is an amazingly good artist. Detail-oriented. Perfect.
I used to envy him, because his artwork was so much more commericial than mine. And he has been more successful - wife, kids, house, own biz which involves artwork - a book that he designed published, even has published articles in style magazines.

I'm the opposite from him. My artwork is more instinctual. I don't think about it. And it's to relax. My writing is emotional, and it tends to be more fictional. I use more poetry. And I'm more concerned with the inner life of my characters. My brother writes because he has to, not because he enjoys it and only for marketing purposes.

I think art is a personal thing. And I like your art a great deal.
It's different - more humorous, happy, laid-back, but still unique.
It's your thing.

I think and it's hard to find the right words to express this, floundering a bit here - but, I was watching a bit of American Idol tonight and I was struck with how all these people were working so hard to sound like someone else or be a "singer" because that's what they thought would work. Ignoring who they were. There was this one girl who was fantastic at doing make-overs, she really had a gift for making others feel beautiful and look beautiful - but for some reason someone convinced her to go try-out for American Idol. It was so sad.
We have tons of "pop" singers, but not many people who can make others feel good about who they are. I think, your thing is doing artwork like the Jane Eyre comic and it is *really* good. You can draw wonderfully well and its unique and different.

I keep telling myself the same things - I don't need to write like this person or that person, I'm me. Some people may like what I have to offer, some may hate it - that will always be the case, you know?
Can't do much about it. All I can do is be me and hope for the best.
Hope someone out there will think my work is subtle and beautiful or funny and witty or inspires them. May just be one person. But it's something.

I think - your sister would want you to promote your cartoons - for well the same reasons. I have to tell you they've made my day more than once this week. I look forward to seeing them. And I would buy a comic featuring them.

[embers-log.livejournal.com]

It is always an interesting thing, what you were saying about people wanting to be singers...not because they have a gift for singing but because they want to be rich and famous (I don't think I'm being too harsh about most of these crazy wannabes). Kevin Kline was a pianist and composer, and was accepted to Julliard in music, but evidently (he said in an interview) he decided that pianists didn't get many oportunities to perform in front of an audience, so he switched to acting. The desire to perform being greater than the desire to play music or to act (and he is one of my favorite actors).

Anyway, I thank you for your encouragement, I'm going to try to print my Jane Eyre and send it out some places as an example of my work....to see if I can get any feed back at all. And you're right: my sister treasured my artwork, she saved as much of my early work, and my younger brother's art work, as she could. In Eddie's case, it would have all been lost forever except for the portfolios she kept (when Eddie died everything in his room was cleared out and thrown away without any attempt to save any of his work, not that I'm bitter or anything).

[shadowkat67.livejournal.com]

Oh, like the icon. Silverado, right? And you're welcome.

Agreed on the singers on American Idol. I think a lot of people go into the entertainment biz not to act, sing, dance, or what have you -but for the applause. They want to perform in front of a crowd and be worshipped by that crowd. They want the adoration. There's nothing wrong with that. But as Whoopie Goldberg stated in an Inside Actor's Studio interview - fame and fortune is "luck". You could be the most talented singer, dancer, actor or artist on the planet, get seen by people and never ever be famous. There are actors in repertory theater that make Kevin Kline look like an amateur.

These people watch Taylor Hicks or Jennifer Hudson or Carrie Underwood - and they think - oh, I can do that. I've been singing in choir my entire life. But if you listen to Hicks, Hudson and Underwood's bio's - all three did get professional training at some point and did attempt to make a living at it. Hicks sang in lounges across the country and had on more than one occassion attempted to cut an album (not that I think he's that good - but he certainly was working at it.) Singing is like drawing or writing or acting - you can't just get up on stage and belt it out. You have to train the voice. Sure you have to have a little talent first and it really helps that you aren't tone death (like me) but you still need to learn how. Can't say I don't disagree with Rosie O'Donnell who recently stated that she could not handle the "humilation a thon" of the early Idol episodes - some of those people are mentally unstable and don't appear to realize what they are doing. Grease - You're the One that I want reality series - has similar problems - we have women trying out for Sandy in an Open Casting Call that are 40 years of age, or overweight - hello? This role is supposed to be a thin, sexy teen? Are people crazy? Plus in an open call you are going to be competing with trained professionals not just amateurs who've never been on stage in their lives. What some people will do for 15 min of fame.

I think your sister may have looked at yours and your brother's work in the same way you look at hers. Sometimes I wish we could see our own work and ourselves as others do, through another lense.