shadowkat: (Default)
Doing laundry - which makes it difficult to make dinner or take a shower until it is done. (It's in the basement and I'm on the third floor - and requires an elevator - and it's a shared laundry room with 77 other apartments in the building. Although at the moment it is just me and one other guy. And for the most part it's well maintained. Actually, it's the best laundry room/situation I've had since moving to NYC in 1996. I've now been without my own laundry machines far longer than I had them. There's pros and cons either way, as you all know.)

Anyhow just have 19 minutes and forty-eight seconds to go.

The laundry is now done and safely put away. Even though I had to navigate around a woman (who looked much like a kid herself), a baby carriage, and two toddlers to do it. She was speaking on the phone via her earphones and not in English. Dinner made and eaten. Hair washed and dried. Mother called. Soap watched. Lunch made.

Tired.

Been a long and busy week, looking forward to having a shorter week next week. I'm annoyed that the inauguration is on Martin Luther King Day, although I fully intend to ignore it (the inauguration not the holiday - which I thankfully have off) Read more... )

In college, I had a creative writing professor who told me once that I was an interesting writer because I was interested in exploring the uncomfortable emotions and thoughts that most people veer away from. He'd picked up a pattern in my short stories. The one that won Second Place in a Literary Competition was a short story in the point of view of a business man on a plane. The man was annoyed by this chatty older woman sitting next to him - who reminded him of his mother. And his guilt at not knowing how to take care of her or what to do, and kind of wishing she was gone. But at the same time not wanting her gone. The woman dies of a heart attack as the plane lands, and he struggling with the aftermath of that, and the troubling mix of emotions. I called it Just a Bunch of Clouds. My father read it - and struggled with it - it hit too close to home. He felt he couldn't share it with his family. So, I veered away from writing anything like it again. Yet, I still find myself doing so - here, and well, in my other writing. I also find myself seeking out stories that explore those monstrous emotions. Because I think all humans have them, and understanding them - looking at them, helps not so much to combat them as to not to be drowned by them or overtaken, and in the end just to let them drift off like a bunch of clouds?

What I found compelling about the New York/Vulture article on Neil Gaiman, was not the women's allegations (which I pretty much already knew from the Tortoise Media coverage and other places and are just horrific to the point of making me cringe inwardly, not to mention unsanitary) - but rather the struggle he and Palmer had engaged in combating his urge to do it.Read more... )Also why people are attracted to people who have these compulsions. Why were women throwing themselves at him? Why did people put tattoos of him on their bodies? Why the worship of a human? Why is it that people with monstrous compulsions or have chosen to hurt others - have families, children, success, etc - while others who actively chose not to hurt others, and to help people - do not? What is it about charming toxicity that is so attractive? And how did people evolve to this point.

So many songs and stories state - a good person is defined by the people around them, the number of friends, family members, people who love them and those who come to their funeral? If this is true? Then how does it describe folks like Hitler, Trump, Whedon or Gaiman - who have all of that?

I don't know. I can't figure it out.

It's late. And I find myself with more questions this week than answers.

The other bit that I found compelling about the article - was it how it was written - and how much it reminded me of another article written in 2022 about another popular cult writer, in the same magazine. Read more... )

David Lynch died at 78 today. And he was the king of showing how reality can bend and twist in on itself. How our perceptions can lie. And often there is a nightmare lying beneath the pristine sunny surface. Fascinated with the dark underbelly of the human condition - he often explored it through surrealistic films. A friend of mine - loves the film Mullohand Drive - and has seen it multiple times. While my favorite film may be Blue Velvet - which shows darkness beneath the American Suburban landscape.
I'm thinking of him now, in the back of my mind as I write this. Because Lynch like myself was fascinated by the duality of the human condition, the dark and light warring for dominance, yin and yang. Seeing clearly the good and bad in humans, and how they can turn on a dime - falling into the abyss, with a single act.

Twin Peaks may well have been his masterpiece in that respect until it slid a bit too far down that dark slope, sliding into incoherence.

Is it wrong to ask these questions? To ponder these things? To look into the dark nether regions of the human psyche, from the safety of my arm chair? I do not know. And I often wonder if I repel you by doing so.
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Read the long-term chief editor of Marvel comics writing guidelines, which actually work across the board. Tom Brevoort has been an editor with Marvel for 38 years.

I've decided to share them - from his blog on substack, which I've been subscribing to.

So here we go:

Professional Editor Writer Guidelines for Comic Books and Graphic Novels )
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[On the COVID front? I think I'm getting better? Last night ran a slight fever - at 100.11 or thereabouts. But headache meds (acetametphine/Asprin (NASAI)/Caffeine) and water reduced it quickly enough. I also think the fact that I had the latest COVID Booster in January, along with the Flu Shot is why it's milder than some folks cases have been.

I'll probably call in sick Monday, take another test, and if it is negative, see how I'm feeling on Tuesday and/or Wed - to determine whether I go in to work.]

So, I've become a little fascinated with the topic of worshipping writers and the negative impact that has on well everyone concerned. Former Minister had a sermon on the topic once - in which she stated "you are going to worship something, just be careful what it is." (She was talking about money, politics, etc. But it applies to humans as well.)

Although I do think there is a difference between being obsessed/fannish about something, and worshiping someone. Picking apart a writer's work, being fannish about their work - isn't quite the same thing as idolizing. Or defending a writer - who may or may not have done something terrible isn't idolizing, depending on why? I question allegations, because I have a criminal defense background and was taught to question everything. And let's face it? The internet isn't reliable.

There's an excellent thread on Reddit about it.

Someone states that's why they only idolize fictional characters because they will never let them down. To which someone responds: "Didn't read Go
Set the Watchman, I take it?" (OR the Watchmen, I thought.)

And then in regards to Gaiman** - there's a thread that compares him to another famous and beloved British writer, Charles Dickens, who was also a bit of a mess. (I'm hesitant to call either terrible people, because I know people are more than one thing, and our actions don't necessarily define who we are. And never have. Our actions vary from day to day, one situation to the next, and we have different choices to make each time. That said, I admittedly am uncomfortable watching a couple of actors, and it may be a while before I read a few writers works.)

"This bit "I don’t think anyone should idolize anyone, ever. It’s not great for them, and it’s not great for you, they probably didn’t ask to be idolized (and if they did, holy shit, fucking run)". I've read a lot of Neil Gaiman and I particularly loved American Gods and the graveyard book. So when Neil Gaiman did an event at the Barbican with the BBC symphony orchestra in 2019, I got tickets. I came away disturbed. I didn't see any predatory behaviour or anything like that, but there was such an unhealthy atmosphere of basking in adoration."
Read more... )

Two statements to highlight:

* I don’t think anyone should idolize anyone, ever. It’s not great for them, and it’s not great for you, they probably didn’t ask to be idolized (and if they did, holy shit, fucking run)

*I'm certain that idolization is one of the most reliable ways to bring out the absolute worst in somebody

I agree with both. From everything I've read about famous folks - who do horrible things - it's usually the result of "idolization". They all fall into that trap. And idolization or adoration can be mistaken for love, it's not love. It's a false or empty kind of love that often destroys the object of it. There's parables, fables, fairy tells, and Greek Myths/stories that describe why this is a bad thing.

I've been watching "The Magicians" adapted from Lev Grossman's books. It's a story about a bunch of magic users who find a gateway into a world that was fictionalized in a bunch of beloved children's books. Halfway through the first season - it's revealed that the writer of the books is in reality a pedophile, with his sister's help, drugged, and molested the children in his charge. When he discovers that they can escape him into a fictional world, a world where he can do whatever he wants - he practices black magic to change himself in order to enter that world. The Writer is portrayed as a charming British writer, with graying hair, and tweed. Looks a bit like Neil Gaiman by way of CS Lewis.
Read more... )
Coincidentally this morning, the lay-worship sermon at my church, via FB, was on how humans, writers or AI creators, create things and then wish to assert control over them. And at what point does the creation become its own entity, with it's own free will, and desires? No longer an extension of the creator? And how do we interact with these creations? As separate from the creator of part of them.

The sermon argues that while all things are ecologically connected and we are indefinably a part of each other, at the same time we are separate entities and once the creation is released into the world - it becomes its own entity.

This furthers the view that yes, you can love Harry Potter and it's world, without supporting JK Rowling's views, or you can love A Tale of Two Cities or a Christmas Carol without supporting or loving Dickens (he's long dead anyhow and I think he's works are in the public domain), or you can adore the works of folks like Gaiman or Whedon without condoning their actions or worshiping them. The creation can survive outside of the creator, and in some cases expand and become more - based on every interaction others have with it.

In short? It is safer (well for the most part - not to the extent you get lost inside of it) to love the fictional work than the creator of the work. Or? Ignore the person behind the curtain, they are but a shyster and a conman, hardly a wizard worth worshiping. But their creation can be loved and adores separately.

** A side note about Gaiman? Unlike Whedon and Munroe, the allegations aren't being reported by any reliable news sources. Doesn't mean they are false, but doesn't mean they are true either. Read more... ) So at this point, I really don't know if Gaiman did anything.

What unnerves me about social media is how many people assume that if XYZ publication reports it is true. Or if someone says it in a publication - than it is true without any fact checking whatsoever. A reputable source fact checks. [I had a massage therapist who fully believed that vaccines were tainted and caused autism because...wait for it...she read it on an internet discussion board???] This is why people died of COVID. How do you know if something is true? There has to be reliable and primary sources, preponderance of the evidence, and a level of accountability. And even then, we don't necessarily know for certain. My father was on the jury of a child molestation case, he and the jury found the defendant guilty, only for the judge to throw out the case because it was determined that the therapists had manipulated the child's testimony to support the ends of whomever wanted custody. And this is easy to do.

That Reddit thread is weirdly disturbing - in how many people misread Scalzi's piece, and how many are quick to judgement based solely on something they read on the internet. And are insanely self-righteous about it.
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This post on Twitter made me feel seen...

What does it say about me that my latest book is completely unmarketable and unpublishable, yet I'm so in love with it that I can't keep myself from working on it and continuing to polish it, day after day? This doomed love is a love like no other.

I'm doing this too. Granted it's not a memoir. But I don't exactly have a marketing platform either - mainly because I'm leery of them?

The difficulty with publishing one's work - is the marketing. Marketing is a bitch, unless you have a six figure deal and a huge marketing budget where you can employ experts to do it all for you. Most, actually the vast majority of writers, traditionally and non-traditionally published do not have that luxury. Scalzi - an A-list sci-fi writer - spends a good portion of the year traveling about on his own dime to various locals around the world doing book signings, conventions, etc. In and out of hotels over-looking parking lots. When he's not doing that? He's doing interviews, blogging, and on social media - selling his brand, and of course writing books. My father non-traditionally published, but balked at marketing. His books are read, just not broadly, and now after his death people are bugging my mother for the rights to them. She's ignoring them.
My uncle has also non-traditionally published a lot of books, and finally in his seventies has a publisher interested in traditionally publishing one or two, and got stories in a literary publication. I have a lot of frustrated writers in my family.

I suck at marketing, promotion, advertising, basically anything that involves persuading people to buy my work and/or selling it. I'm a buyer by profession not a seller. I have no idea how to sell anything. My brother can sell things, I can't. I did not get the salesmen gene. I'm not charismatic, I have no patience for haggling, and I don't understand pricing. Negotiating yes, pricing no.

If it were up to me? I'd just give my work away for free. [Kind of like my father ended up doing. So that tendency must run in the family?] This is why I have a day job. I'd have starved as an artist. I don't know how to market myself let alone my work. Look at this blog? Do you see any marketing? Or anything remotely resembling an attempt at it? Are there links on the side? Is it pretty? Do I use a lot of HTML? No.

Also do I have a website? No, I have wordpress. And it's not quite as pretty as this. I'm on Twitter - but branding eludes me. I try on a brand, then forget what it was. I also have a tendency to get snarky, which kills the nice tweet brand. Facebook? I've never really known what to do with it, outside post pictures to it, and random comments. I mainly play on private monitored fanboards within it? I tried selling my book on it, and gave up. Instagram? Eh, again more into photos, and I do not do vids. TikTock - I avoid, and am afraid of.

The internet is a weird thing. It's kind of a gift and a curse at the same time? On the one hand - instant communication, on the other - not necessarily nice instant communication - in fact, a lot of communication you'd just as soon do without. Plus far too much of it. (I have over 19,000 personal emails that I can't get rid of.) OR it's certainly easier to market oneself - but it's also scary and so easy to get yourself scammed. Al Gore was right in 2000, we really needed to regulate the internet from the get-go, I think it's too late to try and do it now?
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Mother: I've nothing to say.
Me (in my snarky tone of voice): Well, I've things to say, whether you find any of them interesting or not...

Mother cackles with laughter.

***
Thoughts on Writing

I've managed to slice away over 200 pages from the novel that I'm revising. It was 890 pages, it is now 670 pages. It's actually not as hard as I expected.

Meanwhile, I've decided to write a prelude novel to the science-fiction novel that I was working on prior to the pandemic. The hardest bit about writing science fiction and fantasy (for me, your mileage may vary on this) is the world-building. Too much, you turn folks off, too little, you turn folks off, don't get it right, you turn folks off. Science fiction and fantasy fans are unfortunately insanely detail oriented, so that's the other problem.

Some people love world-building. They actually prefer it to developing character, story, plot, or anything else. Which is a problem with a lot of sci-fantasy novels - there's no real plot or character development, and you kind of get bogged down in the world building.

Anyhow, we'll see where it goes. Since I'm writing it in first person - I may be able to handwave a few things.

***

Thoughts on Dungeons and Dragons and role playing games.

Dungeons & Dragons is a fantasy role-playing game that was originally created by American game designers Ernest Gary Gygax and David Arneson and published by by Tactical Studies Rules, Inc. (TSR) in 1974. Before D&D was the game as we know it, it grew out of a medieval war game called Chainmail.

Book Riot - when was dungeons and dragons invented

Interesting, I thought it was much later than that? I didn't see it until the 1980s. But I was also only eight in 1974, and we weren't really playing board games like that back then. We did play adventure and role playing games - but not with costumes as such, and usually made them up ourselves. There was no book. No rules. It was spontaneous. Read more... )

I doubt I'd have enjoyed D&D that much:
Read more... )

I do like solo games - like Redecor and Wordl. I also loved Tetris. Dominoes. Anything with matching of patterns or matching colors, words, pictures, tiles. I'd probably be good at Mai-john. I also like strategy games, such as chess or backgammon or Clue.

But anything with an embarrassment or humiliation quotient - no.

***
Shen Yun

They've been advertising the heck out of Shen Yun. I considered going once, but a friend explained to me that it was cult. Stepping into the Uncanny Unsettling World of Shen-Yun.

But you do get inundated with the advertising in New York City around January through April. It's on subways, shopkeepers doors, and on television ads. They certainly know how to market themselves - which alone gives me pause.

***

Thoughts on Books

I'm reading "Magic Tides" by Ilona Andrews - which is told in two points of view for a change, Curran's and Kate's. It's a sequel to the previous series.

The good news? It sparked my own imagination and story - the post-apocalyptic science fiction I was writing pre-pandemic. So I may continue.
Anything that sparks the creative juices.

The Magic Series by Andrews isn't for everyone. If militaristic post-apocalyptic fiction doesn't work for you - best to skip. I like the world-building, and how the writer does it without going into too much detail, but enough to make it feel real and interesting. Also how she manages to skirt around issues like linguistics, and utilizes lesser known mythologies like the Babylonian, Asian, Egyptian and Russian. Too many fantasy novels fall into Judeo-Christian mythos or Grecian, this goes in a different direction. But the protagonist is snarky, and married to a lion shape-shifter. There's no yearning. No angst. They are married - so no, oh, I want him but can I? I like the exploration of a marriage for a change. It's a nice change of pace and kind of innovative. No will they or won't they, and less emphasis on sex. I like their banter, but both are super-powerful, so? Not for everyone. Then again, is anything?

Bride by Alix Harrow - isn't working for me. Read more... )

Yellowface by RF. Kuang - I'm kind of bored? Read more... )

X-men by Gerry Dugan - I think the difficulty I have with this writer's take on the series and the other current ones is a lack of focus? In some respects, I like it. But in others - a twenty page comic is not a lot of space for multiple stories and action. It feels a bit scattered. Also far too many characters.

Thoughts on the boat-load of articles on Narcissism via Internet Web Browsers

There a lot of articles on narcissism online. Microsoft Edge, my workplace internet browser, keeps throwing them at me. I must be doing something that is making it pull those? That and lists of horror films. There are at least three films coming out that focus on spiders. Unrelated sub-tangent on spider films - note no pictures of spiders, I'm terrified of them, you won't see any photos of spiders in this journal ever, just in case you were worried about that for any reason. )

But the "narcissism" (I struggle spelling that word. Can one be a narcissist if they can't spell narcissism? It's the number of s's that throws me off. I either want to add another s or subtract one) articles are annoying (note they aren't journal studies or the medical articles, but cheap journalistic ones thrown at me by a work web browser). rant about narcissist articles )
shadowkat: (work/reading)
Did very little today - but read, dozed, went grocery shopping (which always involves a 1.9-2 mile hike, partially with heavy baggage - because hello, no car), cook, talk to mother (we talk daily via phone - she lives far away, although we probably would do it regardless), and watch a little telly.

Also completed another somewhat abstract watercolor of people I saw on the sidewalk from memory. It is actually an abstract watercolor. I have a somewhat expressionistic/impressionistic style in my art - according to every art teacher that I've ever had. They actually preferred it. I can do realistic - it just requires going from a photograph or live, and isn't as much fun. Kind of the difference between writing a contract or journal article and writing a story.
abstract painting beneath the cut )

Speaking of stories? I am reading multiple stories across different mediums at the moment.

One of which is the X-men comics - which may inspire me to write fanfiction. Read more... )

[Pause to get on soap box]
or how to piss me off without possibly intending too... )

Ahem. I used to hide my love of comics from people. Why? tells you why )
[Gets off Soap Box - Sort of?]

Sigh. Life would be so much easier if everyone liked the same things I did and in the same way. Then again, it would also, probably, be boring.

Oh well. At any rate - as in all things, I will continue to defend to my dying breath others rights to love and enjoy what they love and enjoy and be whomever they are/want to be and/or define themselves as being however they please, as long as it doesn't harm or hurt any one. (Fascism and Religious fanaticism is not something I'll ever support). Also, being annoyed or offended doesn't count as harm - learn a little tolerance - people tend to be annoying by default, I'm certain I'm annoying somebody half the time. [Not at the moment, well outside of writing this I suppose.]

Sigh, still on soap box. Why you all put up with me, I've no clue.

Now, off soap box, and hopefully no longer self-deprecating as result. (I've been criticized a lot for doing this in my life time, so I make snarky remarks about it - to kind of fend it off? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Probably make more sense to just stop doing it - but why do that, when I can snark and be self-deprecating instead? It's a lot more fun.)

***

Anyhow back to the books I'm reading - which is a lot more interesting, than talking about myself and my annoyances.

1. Comics via Comixcology - read on Fire HD, which is about the size of a small comic book and in color.

These have gotten alarmingly good. Alarmingly, because my addiction is back, and I'm buying them again. Although they are generally speaking fairly cheap.

* X-men issue #26 (of god knows how many...they keep rebooting this comic) - this was advertised as the Wedding between Emma and Iron Man. It's not. So, I was expecting - well a wedding, and the drama involved during it as both teams come together. But, that's not what happened. At all. They managed to surprise me, and in a good way. Kudos. what really happened in 'Not the Wedding Issue' even though it says it is the Wedding Issue )

* Captain Britain issue #1 of 5 - it's kind of a gay lesbian action fantasy romp, which others may find more entertaining than I do. Some good stuff here and there. And the art is pretty good. Plus Pete Wisdom, another fav. But Betsy has alas, always bored me, I much prefer - Kwiannon aka Psychlock.

* X-Force issues 20-30 (of god knows.. see X-men) This is the saga of Domino getting her mojo back by taking out the genegnieer. It's kind of a horror action comic - with a lot of body horror, and biological experimentation. Also it delves into Beast who is becoming more and more of a super-villain, he rejects his humanity completely, along with the name Dr. Henry McKoy or Hank, and just goes by Beast now.Read more... )

* Wolverine issues #25-29 (see X-men) - Saga of Beast taking control of Wolverine, and his ultimate betrayal of Logan. Read more... )

See? Not for kids.

*The Last Slayer - this is an AU comic where Tara wasn't killed by Warren, although everything else more or less happened, and Buffy at the age of 50 finally loses her powers and becomes a watcher with Spike. They are watchers for a teenage Thess, Willow and Tara's daughter, who is orphaned when both are killed doing a magic spell to bring back the sun.
Tara kind of comes back in another form - but Thess moves on. Anya is another Watcher or on the council. Thess is a lesbian.
Read more... )

2. Audible or Audio Books - Here, There, Elsewhere: Stories from the Road by William Least Heat Moon

So far, he's talked about the beginnings of micro-breweries in Brooklyn, New York with Red Hook Beer. (I've had it - prior to the gluten intolerance bit). Kansas. New York's geography. Japan - a town over there. The Mayan Ruins. It's kind of like listening to a journalist's travel blog. Rather comforting actually.

3. The Hollow Places - E-Book on the Kindle by T Kingfisher. Read more... )

4. Moon Witch, Spider King by Marlon James - in paperback, courtesy of an independent book store in Brooklyn. Not that far - it's a huge paperback and difficult to cart around with me.

But the prose is lyrical and the man can write circles around most. It's like reading prose poetry. It ebbs and flows like water and wind throw trees. I can hear the voices in their original Jamaican and Island tones.
And it has a distinctive narrative voice.

A lot of writers out there have never developed a distinctive voice. The good ones, or the ones who are memorable have. Although admittedly I can't remember some of them - but most of those were translations so don't count.

It starts with a young girl - pushed aside, with a rope around her neck, in cavern, while her brothers hoot and holler. Dash and run around her. She, being but a girl, is neglected and forgotten. Left to find her own way, or be sold or bartered off into marriage. Not praised and trained like the boys.

It's not sexist. So much as brutally honest. And we're in the girl's point of view as well as her brothers. Her treatment from the narrative's perspective is despicable - we are supposed to be upset by it.

5. Yellowface by R. F. Kuang - Hardback from independent bookstore in Brooklyn. It is a satire of the NYC Book Publishing Industry. About a woman who gets a book deal by stealing her dead rivals book and plagiarizing it as her own. Oh, I should add the anti-hero protagonist is a white woman, and the dead rival was Chinese-American.

I've not started it yet, but I need to soon - since I plan on giving it to Wales for Christmas.

Clearly I'm constantly reading or listening to books, and in between doing other things. One of the pluses of living in NYC, particularly Brooklyn, is I'm surrounded by books. There's little book houses - where people drop off and take books, an ever-expanding library in the basement, people keep adding to it, two libraries, and two book stores in the area. Plus a lot of writers. The lovely thing about the information age? Is it is not hard to find books or book clubs for that matter. Even my workplace has a book club - it just meets in Manhattan - and well, it's reading books I've either already read (say five years ago) or on audio (and don't feel like discussing). But it exists and I can join at any time. So too does the church, and now the neighborhood book store.

***

Oh, I found out via FB's neighborhood Kensington Page, that a new bookstore has popped up in the area. This one on Church Street and between Ocean Parkway and Coney Island Avenue, I think. It's called... Lofty Pigeon Books- apparently a couple that meet working at a book store, decided post-pandemic to deliver on their dream of opening up their own book store and giving back to the community. They aren't hiring - which is wise, actually.
Because then you don't get to do the hands on service as much.

[I worked in a book store, and I won't do it again. Nor will I run or open up one. My father is right - too many movable parts that I can't control and have to keep track of. I want to read and write books, I do not want to market and sell books. Me and marketing and retail are unmixy things. Library - I'll do (well, maybe not - I'm allergic to old books as I've recently discovered), not a book store (the books are fine - they are new, but I hate selling things). I don't like selling things. I can buy things, I just suck at selling them.]
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1.Indiana Jones reviews by a millenial, actually more like a Gen Z, the horror, the horror

Commercial Sci-Fi Novelist John Scalzi's daughter is busy reviewing all the old Indiana Jones on his blog. Nothing like an outraged politically correct review of Raiders of the Lost Ark by someone who wasn't born when it hit theaters, and never saw it until now. (I now understand how my parents felt when I was critiquing Westerns in college. Although I was taught how and being graded, so the outrage was kind of squelched. Also 1980s.)

They are amateurish reviews - like most reviews on the internet. Read more... )


2. Got up early to do laundry, and keep nodding off as a result. I had turned off the alarm, but woke up anyhow...did not sleep well the night before. I woke up at 2:20 am, hot and sweaty.

Wales asked if I was feeling better today. Yes, and no, unfortunately. Read more... )

3. Taking a break from Burn it Down - I was getting annoyed. She goes into depth on what happened behind the scenes on the Muppets after Disney took over, and the folks behind the Goldbergs. Neither is pretty. Muppets is mainly white men, and Goldbergs? Had sexual harassment claims. It was a hostile work environment. Muppets? Misogynistic post the Disney buyout.

Apparently the head show-runner of the Goldbergs is in charge of the new Muppets movie - it's his dream job. But there are a lot of allegations against him for harassment at The Goldbergs, so many that he responded to all of the authors queries through his legal team.

Damn.

4. Marvelous Mrs Maisel is in some respects a satire, and it does go after the male run industry - of standup comedy, and television showrunning, specifically late night. Gordon Ford feels like he could have been a stand-in for Johnny Carson. And Midge Wiseman Maisel is based loosely on Joan Rivers. Rivers struggled to get the late-night show host gigs or hosting gigs. Women do.

In episode 8 of S5,Midge's father, Abe tells his working buddies after having a couple of glasses of wine, as they complain that everything is changing so fast, that there's things he didn't notice. That maybe nothing has changed at all? He focused on the wrong things and wrong people. His daughter bought their apartment, not him. And his daughter got dumped by her husband - but she redefined herself, she didn't crumble and is successful. He was too busy focusing on his son - to truly see her and her abilities, which he also sees now in his granddaughter. He was so busy in hunting it in a male heir, it never occurred to him to see it in a female one. That men run everything and maybe they shouldn't? How could he be so blind.

I hear the writer's voice here - but Tony Shalob who plays Abe Wiseman convinces me these are his words, and thoughts, in a perfect example of how an actor sells the story and the lines within it. It's often why television or film work better than novels, in that if one falls short, the other collaborators pick up the slack.

5. Sad news. Learned from Twitter that horror/dark fantasy novelist Ursula Vernon, aka T Kingfisher, has cancer. I think it's breast cancer.

Damn. Read more... )

I'm probably poisoning myself with plastic. I don't know. I may read more TKingfisher. "The Twisted Ones" is the only book I've read in the last year that actually held my attention and I sped through. I hope she fights and survives cancer - I'm rooting for her. She's one of the more interesting writers that I've found on Twitter.

She has ignored me - but I mainly post on Soap Twitter and Spuffy Twitter, which occasional forays into Book Twitter, Romance Twitter, Television Writer Twitter, Comic Book Twitter and Music Twitter.
shadowkat: (Grieving)
1. I finished Queen Charlotte - which I rather adored. I liked it better than the last two Bridgertons. In part, because, it focused so much on Queen Charlotte and Lady Danbury, who are wonderful characters. Both very strong in their own rights.
spoiler )

2. It occurs to me that the difficulty of being around others, is ...I have to turn a part of myself off. I cannot be fully myself. I talked to mother about this - and she agreed, there's always compromises to be made, and landmines to be navigated.

Being alone is satisfying. I feel energized. There's none of the tension.
Or the worry. None of the need to be mindful of someone else's space or needs.

Mother wondered if by living alone for so long, it would be difficult for me to live with others. I don't believe so. I work in a cubicle five days a week, eight hours a day, surrounded by people. I take trains with them. I share sidewalks with them. Share a laundry room. Share elevators. Mail. Hallways. And live in an apartment building in which often I can hear them in the hallways, or outside or rummaging above me or next door with the low hum of the telly. (Telly sounds better in my head than television.)

So yes, I can live in close proximity with others - but I need my own space within that. Where I can be alone, and separate from them. Where I can be if only for a few hours - or a day, or two, fully and completely myself.

3. I do not know if this true? But according to my brother, American English is actually British English from over two or three centuries ago. The British changed their language to differentiate themselves from Americans. So Americans are speaking old English?

Is this true? It's coming from my Brother, and I've learned over the years to take a lot of what he states with a hefty grain of salt. But I do trust my international and well versed correspondence list on the matter.
shadowkat: (Default)
I slept late, and spent the day cleaning out a portion of my hall closet. It was a mess. Such a mess - that every time I opened the door - it threatened to come tumbling out into the hallway. And I was afraid a dead mouse was in there (it wasn't - thank god, just dusty). I'd been procrastinating cleaning it out for years.

Did it from 12 pm to approximately 3 pm. Prior to that, breakfast, shower, making bed, watching a television show. Writing the morning pages - and completing the exercises.

The Artist Way and it's exercises lead to cleaning out the closet - when I'd intended on working on revising my novel today. Or rather reading the latest chapter in The Artist Way did.

Read more... )

The exercise that lead me down this path isn't what you might think. It did not tell me to clean out a closet.

It told me to revisit an Artistic U-Turn - or a traumatic abandonment of a work that I felt had promise and shut me down. I didn't have to think too hard about what it was. And it suggested that I find that work of art, revisit it, and see if I could salvage it and do something with it now.
They gave an example of a man who had shot a film, had it criticized and it shut him down. So he aborted it. Read more... )

Last night, while talking to my mother about having hit the wall again on my writing - she asked me about my first book, the first one that I attempted to get published, and even for the space of maybe ten seconds, had a literary agent for. Not the one that I actually did independently publish, the one before it. The one that I even had a couple of people on fanboards read, and CW had liked. It's also the one - that I had people tell me that they liked my writing, but the story wasn't working for them or they didn't like the genre and wanted a cozy mystery instead.

The problem with being an artist (whether it's painting, drawing, writing, acting, music, what have you) - is you are often at the whim of others fickle and discriminating tastes. Read more... )

At any rate - you may or may not be wondering if I found that first novel?
Well, I thought about it after my mother mentioned it to me. Then the Artist Way asked me about it. And I thought - okay, did I throw it out? I don't think I did. If I can't throw out humidifiers, it's unlikely I can throw out something I created and worked hard on. So I opened my closet, and sure enough - two plastic containers, buried under heaps of junk stared back at me.

I wonder if it's in there? But I'm going to have to clean out this closet to get to it. Dammit. I wasn't planning on doing that today. (Best Laid Plans and all that.) So, I rolled up my sleeves (so to speak - I was wearing a t-shirt) and sweated profusely (I had to change pants at one point) to get it cleared out. Read more... )

It took two hours. Read more... )

Finally, I opened the two plastic containers. And there it was, Read more... )

Mother: Whatever happened to your first book - the one before Doing Time? Heir Apparent?
Me: I don't know, it's somewhere or I threw it out...it wasn't that good.
Mother: I liked that book.

So now, that book is sitting in a sack on the bottom shelf of my television stand staring at me with an accusatory grin. Come look at me again please.

**

While cleaning out the closet, I finished an audio book, whose title I forget. It's a chick-lit by Kristin Higgins, about a woman returning to her childhood home on an island in Maine. It's kind of cliche-ridden, and very tropey, also predictable, with a couple of twists, but nothing major. It took me two years to listen or read it. I took a six-ten month break, yet was able to pick up where I left off without any issues. It's that kind of book - not hard to follow at all, and you can half-pay attention to it, and still know what's going on. (See, there's a lot of mediocre novels published. I shouldn't worry about people criticizing mine. Which is actually my fear of putting it out there - having it picked apart by the peanut gallery.)

Then started another one, which I'm a quarter of the way through. Killing John Wayne, The Making of Genghis Khan, the Worst Film in History - which requires it's own post. It's basically the history of what lead to making the film, all the people involved, and includes a history of the atomic bomb testing in the area in which the film was made.
This is the film that resulted in half the cast dying of cancer several years later - as a direct result of being in that film. The description of the atomic bomb testing, and the government's incompetence at protecting the public from the results of the testing, and radiation is harrowing. Dear god, no wonder so many people in Arizona, Nevada, California and New Mexico have cancer. It's also rather harrowing in regards to how early Hollywood worked, and how it was run. Howard Hughes was a piece of work.

I also started a watercolor, made a spinach and green onion quiche, and watched episodes of Ted Lasso (S2) and Schimagoon (S1) on Apple TV, while robot vacuuming my apartment. And, finished the latest chapter of The Artist Way. And replaced my filter in my air purifier, and took down the garbage, recyclables, and junk from closet cleanup, plus two ratty old shoes to the basement. (Someone took the chickpea macronic and Polish chocolates I'd left last week - I was pleased to notice that.) The basement has turned out to be a rather convenient junk, dried packaged food, book and DVD depository.
shadowkat: (Default)
Didn't feel well today or most of the weekend. No clue why. Possibly a combination of things - allergies, barometric pressure changes in the weather, blood sugar/diet, IBS...and not getting enough sleep.

At any rate, I'm relieved that I have tomorrow off. It would be hard to take it as a sick day - since I've a three day holiday.

Trying to figure out what to watch tonight - and got overwhelmed with content choices. Dear god there's a lot of content available on television now. It's kind of like getting lost in a multi-tiered blockbusters video store and you can rent anything for free (well not exactly free - I do pay for some of the services).

In attempt to find the first episode of "Gotham Knights" (it's currently airing on the CW and I've got everything but the first episode) on HBO Max (it's not there - which is odd. The Winchesters is there, so is well a lot of other things on CW but not Gotham Knights - maybe Netflix will get it?) - I ended up flirting with Designing Woman (Gregory Peck and Lauren Bacall - which threw me, I didn't know they made a movie together - appears to be the 1960s (?) since both look older and its in color and directed by Vincent Minelli - so 1960s. It's leaving by April 20th - probably going to the MGM streaming service. I don't think I'll watch it before then - it's kind of annoying.). The Music Man - which made me hunt down the Hugh Jackman version on Youtube (it's available - people filmed various sections (long sections) in the audience - not great, but watchable), which sent me down the Hugh Jackman and Sutton Foster Broadway performances rabbit hole on Youtube. (By the way, almost the entire show - Boy from Oz is available on Youtube - this is the bio-musical of Peter Allen's life, so is a recording of Hugh Jackman and Russel Crow singing the confrontation scene from Les Miz - which I still think the How I Met Your Mother castmates do a better job of, but watching those two go at it in a pub - is fun. )

Remember when it was hard to find content?

So far today..

1. I've watched:

New Amsterdam - I like the characters even if the plots are kind of fantastical at times. US medical shows aren't that realistic. This one, actually, is more realistic than most. The most fantastical is Grey's Anatomy and it's lasted the longest - hence the reason they are fantastical.

* Superman and Lois - darker than most of the Superman series, gritty, filmed like a film series. Also surprising - I thought they'd spend more time on the kids and parent/child relationship - but instead the focus is more on Superman and Lois's relationship and issues. It does like to deal with tragedy though and torture it's leads. Lois is kind of put through the ringer. But it does, by far, have among the best versions of Lana Lang. I also like this version of Superman, he manages to get the dorkiness of Clark Kent across - which not everyone can. Read more... ) (I'm on the third season? HBO Max should have the other two?)

* a lot of Youtube videos - mainly Spike videos from Angel and Buffy, which I stumbled upon looking up something else. I can't remember what it was. I'm tempted to try a re-watch, but I'd have to hunt them down, since I no longer own a DVD player.

**

* Completed a painting (which I've mixed feelings about) - I was struggling with perspective, and I think the woman's physical body is kind of off in places that is noticeable. Not from a distance, but definitely close up. There's not enough space between waist and legs, also her legs are almost too short? The guy is more or less fine, just his face is slightly off.

* Started a new one (also mixed feelings about) - I screwed up the hands on the kid. Hands can be hard to draw and paint well. I can draw them, but drawing and painting them ...not always. Actually I do better with just a hand, it's when it is attached to a human and actually doing stuff that I struggle with it.

* Worked on revising my novel - which is slow going. I keep debating whether certain sections need to be deleted. Particularly ones that deal with supporting characters that kind of eventually drop out of the novel. My general rule is - do they further the plot and lead character's arcs at all. If they do, I keep the scene.

* Read more of the Diabetes book (it's overwhelming and depressing - which is an accomplishment actually, if you think about it - so kudos),

* Watched Church service on Zoom (Unitarian Universalists have interesting Easter services - the sermon today was on "the rock" blocking Christ's tomb. Read more... )

* Took a walk - meant to go to Greenwood Cemetery. Instead walked by Scean Casey Animal Shelter - which apparently has always been opposite the school on the way to the Cemetery, I just never noticed it. depressing )

The animal shelter depressed me. But it was a lovely day. Blue skies. Flowering trees. Crisp wind that went right through me.

I came home and felt a bit woozy. So drank tea. Had a little chocolate. And watched television, painted, and tried working on my book.

I suppose I accomplished something today - just not what I'd planned - which was cleaning out a closet, going to church, and going to the Artist's Way. Oh well both will be there next week.
shadowkat: (Default)
The Artist's Way's writer certainly loves to do lists. We have more lists.

I'm not that good at lists. I tend to draw a blank when asked to do them. Forget about them when I've done them or lose them. And often forget what I put on them. Also, they are never in order. My brain is apparently too poorly indexed for lists.

This chapter of the Artist's Way is frustrating me. It wants me to stop reading for a week. I mentioned this to mother.
me whinging about an exercise in a self-help book )

Lists..

1. list five hobbies you'd like to try
2. list 5 classes you'd like to take that sound fun
3. list 5 things you would never do that sound fun
4. List 5 things that would be fun to have
5. List 5 things you used to enjoy doing
6. List 5 silly things you'd like to try once.

Then these exercises...

1, Describe an ideal environment to live in - town, country, swank, cozy. Why? What does it involve? Write one paragraph and find an image that describes it.

Describe your favorite season - why it is your favorite, and provide an image.

2. Time Travel

a) Write a letter to your 80 year old self, and figure out what you would be like at that age, what you would be doing. (Eh, pass. It's hard to do when I'm dealing with an 80 year old mother.)

b) Remember what you were like at 8, and have your 8 year old self write you a letter - what would they say? (I have no clue.)

3. List on-going self-nuturing toys to buy your artist self. (Mine is bereft, I have subscriptions to Apple Music, Comixcology, Audible, and various streaming channels. But I might want to do the theater ticket thing at some point.)

***

In other news, Wales has decided she wants a vacation somewhere, and wants me to come with. Which okay. Except Wales is cheap. Which again okay. Wales is also contemplating moving to Switzerland and Scandinava.
Read more... )

**

Life in Pieces by Bryan Cranston

Still working my way through Cranston's biography. More so today - since I foolishly decided to do the reading deprivation idea - only to realize in 2023 - it would make more sense to make it a smartphone deprivation. We aren't addicted to reading in 2023, we're addicted to smartphone's. Of course I'm not really addicted to mine, I just listen to stuff on it most of the time. I can go a whole weekend without looking at it - and have. For me? A television deprivation might be the most useful.

Anyhow, it's interesting where you learn stuff from. Read more... )

His description of working on Malcolm in the Middle and Breaking Bad is fascinating. I always knew television is a collaboration, but didn't realize the extent. Cranston filled in the gaps on both characters. The writer didn't really create these characters, he did. He created the character on Malcolm. Came up with the attire, the weaknesses, what motivated him, everything - because it wasn't on the page. Same with Walter White in a way - he figured out what Walter White would wear and why. He asked Vince Gillian about Walter White's motivations, and when Gillian didn't know what they were - challenged the writer to find them.

Excerpt...
Read more... )
Cranston states that he had to find a way to get into the character, understand who he was and what he thought, and build him. Once he did that - he'd know without thinking what the character would wear, say or do in every scene. He could sell the writing and the character.

He also states, that he chooses his projects based on the writing. Read more... )

The collaboration between the actors, studio, writers, directors, etc made that show work. It was one of those rare instances in which everyone fit or came together in a perfect marriage of equals. There were some issues, of course. Mainly to do with direction and blocking, and the idiotic writers trying to make direction and blocking decisions from LA, while they were working in New Mexico. But other than that - it went smoothly.

The reason - Cranston got the role was he'd played a similar character trope in an X-Files episode written by Vince Gillian. Read more... )

Hmm, now I kind of want to rewatch Breaking Bad and that episode of the X-Files. (I won't, too much else to watch, damn it. Maybe a weekend without television? Not this weekend - it's supposed to rain.)
shadowkat: (Default)
#12: In your own space, set yourself some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private.

Not really fannish, since I'm not truly fannish about anything at the moment. Well, maybe Cillian Murphy and Peaky Blinders. (I've given up on Soap Twitter - they got holier than thou on me, and as you may well know, that pisses me off. I don't handle self-righteous fans well. Particularly when they are wrong and threatening to cancel me on social media. But that's another post. Assuming I bother to explain it. Assuming anyone wants to know.)

I miss the Buffy fandom sometimes. I do not miss the kerfuffles.

Anyhow, goals..

1. To start painting again. I need the outlet. Also considering doing other arty projects. But baby steps.

2. Frame and hang on my wall some of the photographs I took. (Saw an add on FB about Picture Tiles, that you can do as a group, and hang up easily without a hammer and nails.)

3. Finish the novel that I've revising, and start working on revising and finishing the other two, so I can start on two more. I've three novels in the works, and two on the back burner. Plus an old novel idea that I'm considering reworking.

Lots of stories to tell and complete, and no time to do it in. These are all original works of fiction. (I'm not good at playing in other people's sandboxes with their rules, I like to play in my own sandbox and make my own rules. Need some semblance of control over the world, and no one telling me that I'm doing it wrong or questioning my take on the characters. Also, as a former copyright specialist - I don't want anyone telling me that I don't have the right to play with my characters as I see fit. ) That's not to say I don't like fanfic - I do. And I have written it. But it's not what I tend to want to write, if that makes sense? (Although I am tempted to write a fanfic about Peaky Blinders...)

4. Make it through the sizable movie, comic book, novel, audible, and television queue. I really shouldn't add any more books to my kindle or digital comic collection - until I read the ones that I already have. Same with the audible collection.

Once, I finish Peaky Blinders - I may jump to The Last Of Us, or
finish the White Lotus (which is incredibly boring and I do not understand the appeal of it at all. It's put me to sleep twice, and my attention always wanders during it.) I also want to re-watch S1 of the Witcher, and see S2 - but am kind of waiting for S3 to drop first. There's also the rest of Interview with the Vampire, New Amsterdam, Nancy Drew, Rosewell, Mayfair Witches, Miss Scarlet and the Duke, Vienna Blood, and All Creatures Great and Small to get through. (Have watched the last two episodes of All Creatures Great and Small, just one episode behind.)

I also need to go back to Kaldeiscope, try Wolf Pack (Paramount +), The Originals,

And, there's the Pale Eye, and various other things. The list is seemingly endless.

I'm dragging out Peaky Blinders - because I'm loving it and don't want it to end. It's harder than it should be to find a television show, book, or movie that captivates me. Considering how many there are now - you'd think it would be easier to find them, but no.

***

Eh, what the hell? Brief Kerfuffle on Soap Twitter - brief in that it lasted no more than five tweets. And most were mine, because I got pissed off. Twitter kerfuffle's don't go on for very long. Well not unless it goes viral or you are popular, I'm not - thank god. Been there, done that, and only on Voy forums, Whedonesque, and live journal, do not want to be popular on Twitter. Twitter is scary.

So...there's this crazy soap that I've been watching with Mother (well, not together - she's in SC and I'm in NYC, but we discuss it every day on the phone - it gives us something to talk about). I discovered I could get spoilers on Twitter, and FB. However - they are vague (dammit) and the people doing it - eh.

The current storyline is a woman dying of leukemia (Willow) needs to find her biological birth mother (Nina), who turns out to be her nemesis, or worst enemy. The woman who has systematically bullied her for years. And even exposed the child she thought was hers to a cult leader. Her adoptive mother was not exactly a saint either, Harmony (but crazily enough? More likable than Nina (combination of acting and writing, I suspect)). Nina's diabolical mother gave Willow to Harmony, because she didn't want the kid taking the money that her husband put in a trust for Nina. Nina was in a coma at the time and Madelyn was executor of the trust. (Madelyn put Nina in the coma.) Nina has done some horrible things herself. Anyhow, Harmony persuaded Willow on her 21st Birthday to do the ritual of getting stoned and sleeping with cult leader. Everyone did this. Including Harmony. The cult was loosely based on NXIUM (a real life one in NY), but Disney pulled the plug on the storyline before it got too far into what NXIUM was doing (*cough*humansextrafficking*cough*). So really just nasty cult hijinks.

On Soap Twitter, I tweeted:
Read more... )
I swear people give me a headache sometimes.

****

In other news...I found this tid-bit amusing at work.

Apparently they are offering courses in "Managing Up" - learn how to manage above yourself and work with your leaders effectively. I kid you not, they are actually offering course entitled "Managing Up".

I was tempted to respond: "okay, aren't you already doing that - you are actually good at that. What you really need is a course in learning how to "manage down" or "supervise" effectively, and resolve conflicts with your subordinates." But I decided I didn't have the bandwidth to get into that battle, so just ignored it. I probably should take the course - I suck at managing up. But it would have been more useful ten-fifteen years ago. Now? I don't care.

Sandman

Jul. 30th, 2022 11:27 pm
shadowkat: (Default)
I've been re-reading the Sandman comics, and listening to the audiobook, prior to seeing the series on August 5 - when all eleven episodes begin streaming on Netflix.

From the Guardian article on Neil Gaiman:
taken from the Guardian article )

Rest of article can be found HERE. He lucked out. A woman wouldn't have been able to do it. There were almost no women writers of comics in the 1980s and 90s, oh there were a few, but it was a tough biz to get into back then.

The Sandman Creator Explains Why He Tears Down Online Trolls.

The buzz on this is good. Gaiman executive produced and writes the first episode and is involved with all the episodes. He also was involved in the casting and production design. And he runs a very safe and kind set.

"I know the rule is you’re meant to ignore the trolls and not feed the trolls,” Gaiman admitted. "But I would look at people sounding off on Sandman who were obviously not Sandman fans. What I would watch would be 60,000 Sandman fans going, 'Of course you’re doing it this way. Of course you have a non-binary Desire, Desire was always non-binary, that’s brilliant casting.' Or 'Gwendoline as Lucifer, what amazing casting.' And then you’d get five or six people trying to make a lot of fuss who never read Sandman in the first place. And I mostly decided I was done with it."

Gaiman went on to say that while he sometimes feels he should ease up on his retorts, he thinks his general response is warranted given how hard the cast and crew has worked on the show. "Occasionally I do feel like I’m taking an enormous sledgehammer to squash the tiniest ants, and you really shouldn’t," he said. "But then again, they can be really irritating sometimes, and I’m proud of what we made."


He's kind of funny about it. He squashed the one whinging about his casting choices not being reflective of the artist's renditions or versions in the comics, and the artist not getting a say - by simply stating, well actually he did. I consulted him and he agreed with me.

Or the people whinging about Lucifer not being a hunky guy - aka Tom Ellis, and he said, "not my problem" and "actually my Lucifer looked more like an androgynous David Bowie. (He's absolutely right his does. So does Mike Carey's - which Ellis's series is based on. In Carey's Lucifer comics - Lucifer doesn't have any genitalia - he's non-binary. In other words - a they not a he. Angels are "They" not she/he, they are not binary creatures in Gaiman's verse or Carey's.

If you read the comics - you'll pick up on it pretty quickly. I've read both Carey and Gaiman's. In fact, Ellis' Lucifer series doesn't fit the comics much at all - it's one of the reasons that I gave up on it. I found it jarring. I liked the comics better. Lucifer is interesting in the comics, in the "Lucifer" television series he's a 12 year old putz in an adult male body. Which was fine for a bit - until it got annoying.

On another note - no we didn't win the megamillions, someone in Illinois got it.
shadowkat: (Default)
Aggravating day.

It occurs to me that if we treated each other as beloved family members we'd deeply morn and would do just about anything to help, love unconditionally and without judgement, instead of a bunch of strangers and well the exact opposite of beloved family members - the world would be a a much better not to mention easier place to live in. But the difficulty is we don't get to choose our family or who resides in this world with us. Unfortunately. OR Fortunately, depending on your point of view.

I'm trying to figure out how to help a poor man on the top floor get all his books which were delivered today. the woeful tale of the broken apartment complex door and the book reviewer who lives on the top floor )

Spent the morning wrestling with the internet. It won. I honestly don't know why I bothered. I've had it with Ao3. I may put them in my spam email slot to never be heard from again.

All I wanted to do was share my writing with folks. I wasn't hurting anyone.

I don't understand why fandom continues to discriminate against non-fiction fan works. Wales and I were discussing this last night.
Read more... )
I don't know. I don't understand Ao3. Read more... )

I also was rejected by Slayage. The scholarly fanzine and fandom sect. [This is run by the Association of Whedon Scholars, although they did change their name - because, ahem, Whedon apparently is an asshole. Oops.] I worked hard, followed their rules, and they rejected my essays as not up to their standards. Wales and I discussed academia and other professions. Weirdly Crazy Org is no worse than those, if anything it's nicer. Academia is insanely competitive and petty. So too is the publishing world. And the rejection is high.

Being a non-fiction fan writer is not easy. You get rejected and ripped apart a lot. I'd say you get used to it - but you never do. And people don't often publish or save things on merit, or talent, or how good it is from any objective standpoint - but based solely on how it validates them and makes them feel good about themselves, and in some cases perpetuates the lies they've been telling themselves each and every day.

Mother told me last night that she thinks everyone has a negative side their personality. I responded, yes, they do, I call it the demon.

**

I'll be happy when the funeral is over. I'm tired of talking to my mother about it. Read more... )

***

Mother's security data breach courtesy of my brother's stupidity (He gave her the number) - has affected me. Read more... )

Friday

Jul. 29th, 2022 08:53 pm
shadowkat: (Default)
1. Werewolf erotica is the latest gig world trend

Well this would certainly explain the sudden surplus of really bad Werewolf erotica novels on the market. I was wondering what was up with that. I keep seeing them advertised on Smart Bitches.

excerpt )

Sigh. But hey reading this on oursin's page woke me up. I was drifting off to sleep. Nothing like a touch of irritation to get the old adrenaline glands pumping.

2. New Reality Show Looks for America's Next Great Author

America’s Next Great Author is exactly what it sounds like: a reality show about writers, eventually pitting six novelists against each other as they each try to finish a book. Still in early stages, the project is now accepting applications from writers interested in appearing in the pilot episode, reports the Guardian’s David Barnett.

Hosted by Newbery Medal winner Kwame Alexander, the show will put an American Idol-esque spin on the publishing process. At first, contestants in cities across the country will compete in tryouts, where they will pitch a book in one minute. Eventually, the winners of these pitch contests will be narrowed down to six finalists, who will get to compete for the title of America’s Next Great Author.
...

Read more... )

To make it more interesting they should rent out The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado for the Winter, isolate all the writers at that hotel, and see if any of them make it out alive? Will they succumb and off each other one by one? Only time will tell.

Now that I might watch.

I'm tempted to write a murder mystery using that set up - something along the lines of The Shining meets And Then There Were None.

3. Went to dinner with Wales tonight. Now, weirdly sleepy. I might go to bed earlier tonight. It's been a week, albeit not as bad as last week. I'm not pissed off like I was last week.

I've kind of hit the comfortably numb stage again.

Wales is upset about her estrangement from her family. She's not really that estranged, she just doesn't get along with her siblings as well as she'd like. Seriously, does anyone? (Okay, I guess a few do. You can go away, we don't want to hear from you - shoo.) I've seen true estrangement - she doesn't have it. But explaining this to her - gets me nowhere. (True estrangement is when people don't talk to each other at all, and have no clue nor care what is happening in each other's lives.)
Read more... )
Wales recommended The Other Black Girl" - and tried to give it to me. But I told her that I don't tend to read "paperback" novels any longer - because I can't see the small print. The Kindle allows me to enlarge the print - so I can read it without reading glasses. Also, I don't have the space for them. She's going to donate it to the library. Neither of us have space for books - small one bedroom apartments in NYC with not enough book shelves.
I've too many as it is - they are almost falling off my book shelves, and I have them in an old coffee table pushed against the wall, and in bags on top of it. I need more book shelves - or to take more to the basement, although there's no room down there either.

I'm almost through Neil Gaiman's The Sandman Act I - Preludes & Nocturns, and The Dollhouse - on audible. It's kind of grotesque, okay not kind of, it is grotesque. Definitely adult dark fantasy. Has some of the problems that are in all Gaiman novels - too much focus on the world building and all the subsidiary characters, not enough development of the leads. Morpheus feels a bit like a cypher, as do various protagonists, while side characters are more developed.

I actually did read these comics back in the day - I wasn't certain, because I had no memory of them. But listening to it - brings it all back.

Also trying to read another romance novel - it's a historical, takes place in 1522 Spain and Italy, entitled The Devil to Pay by Kate Bateman. Read more... )

Anyhow, I've been listening to the Sandman instead - it's more compelling.
I may just be bored of romance novels.

**

Wales and I are pathetic. I suggested Governor's Island, but it requires work to get to and alas planning. As in subway, and ferry. And wait time. It would be about two hours to get there, maybe three, and two-three hours back. By the time we get there- we'll both be spent by the logistics of travel. And we'd have to meet up before hand to coordinate it.

Work is exhausting. I used to be able to do this stuff when I was younger. Now, not so much. I'm always tired after work. And I crash during the weekends. My work has made it difficult to have a life outside of it.

But hey at least everyone including Wales really likes the new haircut. So do I. I may actually pay to maintain it. I liked Wales haircut and color as well.

Sigh

May. 25th, 2022 09:21 pm
shadowkat: (Contemplative - Warrior)
Well...another day, another dollar...well more than that...but anyhow.

The commute to and from work was per usual an obstacle course in varying ways. This morning a stone guy was sprawled on the steps to the train platform. I kicked his shoulder when he was about to lie his head down in the only path past him. And said "move". I wish I stuck around and watched the Long Islanders trample him on their way up and out of the train station, while tapping away on their cell phones.

On the way home, a guy had what amounted to a minature motorcycle on the train. I was amazed he got it on the train - those things are light.

And less and less folks are wearing masks. I have a new cubicle aisle mate, Gerald from Stores, who doesn't wear one. Big bald with tattoos running up and down his arms, blue and black - one looked like waves. And a Toby Kieth concert sweatshirt. The Sweatshirt was kind of cool looking, but I've no clue who Toby Kieth is - do I want to know? The guy is really nice. (I've learned to stay away from politics at work. Also I informed him that I'd had COVID and I don't mind wearing the KN95 mask (actually I find it comfortable - and I bought it - and it keeps out allergians). Plus I feel less anxious. (I did feel anxious when he came a bit too close for comfort into my cubicle without a mask.))

Work requires a lot of patience and repetition...countless repetition. And not just with the non-mask wearers (which is about 85% of the workforce, and across genders, ages, ethncities, basically everybody, but ...beleaguered few, the band of buggered..I think that's the Shakespearean Henry the V line?)

Right now? I'd like to strangle the estimating department. So would my management.

***

Stuff about Gun Violence in America...

* Twitter Thread posted by a journalist at the scene of the shooting, outside the school in Texas while it was taking place...

I didn't cry, until I got to this post, and then I had to stop, because I was at work and I couldn't afford to burst into tears at my desk. NSFW.
in case you don't have Twitter )

* Ending America's Love Affair with Guns - my wordpress post from 2018, which still rings true today.

* from my novel, Doing Time on Planet Earth

Below is a snippet from my novel Doing Time on Planet Earth that depicts some of my research on the matter:

snippet from my novel )

* Gun Violence Archive

And..



***

I appear to be reading a gothic romance, with time travel and creepy ghosts. I like ghost stories. Always have. I collected ghost stories in undergrad as part of a cultural anthropology minor. I think sometimes that I'm a frustrated folklorist - more that than anything else. I love listening to and reading stories. I like stories - they tell me more about the world and people than anything else. And I particularly love ghost stories.

Did the same thing in Wales, got a grant, and wandered about Wales collecting ghost stories, myths, fairy stories, folk tales, etc. I still have the transcriptions somewhere or other.

I read a lot of ghost stories and horror novels as a child, young adult, and in my twenties. I tend to binge on books. Also am known to read more than one thing at a time. Once I figured out how to read - I devoured books. Although there are moments in which I can't seem to read at all.

Reading and writing are my two favorite past times. I also adore letter writing - which is why Dream Width works so well for me - it's kind of similar. I'm basically sharing correspondence instantly with people. It's quicker than letters, takes up less space, can reach more people, and more permanent, also editable.

Anyhow, I think I may hunt down more ghost stories and gothic romances, I appear to be in the mood for both at the moment.
shadowkat: (Default)
This appears to be the message the Universe wants me to get today.

At today's staff meeting of doom... Breaking Bad (who also happens to be a frustrated screen writer - I kid you not, he literally is) informed us that it was important that we know our audience. And write to it.
Read more... )
Twitter is kind of driving that point home at the moment. In interesting and entertaining ways.

tia witcher extraordinaire
[profile] cursedhive
· 7h
we're cancelling each other over book takes today. post your cancellable book take


This was after the cancelling each other over food takes.

Mine?
Read more... )
And..

This ...(not posted by me)

I'm definitely taking a hiatus from #GH Soap Twitter. There's no enjoyment anymore. I feel like I can't criticize a story, a pairing, or the writing without seeing subtweets about it being hypocritical or a dozen other reasons my opinion isn't valid. 🤷🏻‍♀️

You win. I give up.

"Dear Internet - It's Okay to have your own opinions"


I restrained myself from retweeting and stating: "But posting them is another matter entirely" or "It's not necessarily okay to post them."

You'd think people would know this. But alas, no. I know it. I get into trouble for posting my opinions all the time. Lots of trouble. Know your audience. (Easier said than done.)

With social media, it is kind of hard to know or figure out the audience - they are so varied, and there's quite a bit of turn-over. Read more... )

***

My writing style has been known to change based on what I've been reading (and also based on my audience). I tend to mimic a writing style, not completely, but it can influence my own. I have to work against that happening sometimes. But if someone writes or posts in a formal academic style - I'll shift my writing style or adjust it to match theirs. I find it easier to adjust my writing to an academic style than the abbreviated casual slang style. Mainly because I write more formally for a living.

**

Me: I'm trying to figure out where to retire -
Mother: Well your brother already has that figured out for you.
Me: Okay, where?Read more... )

Why can't relationships and people be the way we want them to be in our heads? Read more... )
I don't think it's a good idea to tell others what to do. Family or otherwise, unless they ask of course. Because we don't actually know their situations or stresses or anxieties, or what makes them tick. My brother doesn't understand me - nor does he really know me, any more than I really know him. We kind of see each other peripherally - from the corners of our eyes, not straight on. And that may well be our problem - neither of us has really taken the time to deal with one another straight on. And you kind of need both people to take the time to do it.

We did when we were younger, but folks change over time. And, it's harder to do it now. It wasn't easy then either - but we kind of had to. Yet, we never did it without judgement or through our own desires or issues. So, no, even then I don't think we ever looked at each other head on.

I think this may be true with a lot of relationships. Where people deal with one another peripherally. But they don't really know one another.

Mother: It's hard to make friends in the US or meet people.
Me: It is. I make them - they move away. And work's difficult because we all live so far away from each other. We're friendly at work - but not really outside of it. We never see each other outside of work.
Mother: Even meeting neighbors is difficult - except for places like where I am now. But before - in Kansas City, we barely met them. If you have a dog, and are walking it - you often meet people.
Me: Except I always feel sorry for the dogs...so that won't work. (I do, the dogs always give me the same lost puppy look - "save me!" and I think, "sorry, can't, but hey at least you aren't in a cage or being killed, look on the bright side.")

After the pandemic - I may try to volunteer at an animal shelter or donate knitted animal blankets.

It is hard to meet new people and make friends though.

**

I'm stealing time to work on my books. I've so many to work on and no time. Since, I find writing hard after a full day of doing nothing but writing, reading, revising, editing, analyzing writing, and more writing.

But ...I need to write and revise my stories. Even if they don't get published and no one reads them. I have to. If that makes sense.

Mother: It does. It's where your heart is.
Me: I don't like writing non-fiction. I don't like reading it. It's fiction, my stories I want to write.
Mother: I get it. If I could write half as well as you do - it's what I would write. And it's what I prefer to read. I completely understand - it's your heart. You are a story teller. You always were. Just like my older sister. I'd never tell you to stop doing that.

The stories even play with my head during work and walking home. They are always there, buzzing in the back of my brain or in my heart, fighting for air time.

I also need to steal time to print off my photos, frame them, and draw and paint some. There's going to be a lot time-stealing going on, apparently.

Y2/D356...

Mar. 7th, 2022 06:31 pm
shadowkat: (Default)
Ah the countdown to Y3 begins, which I'm not doing. So this daily log is ending at Y/D365. After D365, we're going back to our previously scheduled programming on this journal - which is basically me posting whenever and whatever I please. It could be anything really. It's not all that different than what I'm doing now - just not necessarily every day.

Good news? BYT approved my vacation day for Wednesday. So, I get my birthday off at least. Also got the Addendum out. (I had to fight to get the thing out - with BB and BYT's help. We were having fun with charts today - we work for a state agency and they are not only very bureaucratic, but also insanely disorganized, with poor tracking systems, and constant charts tracking things...which no one can make heads or tails of. This in a nutshell is why pure socialism is a bad idea. If you think the government is better at running things than corporations? You'd be wrong. It's kind of a toss-up honestly, I'm not sure which is worse half the time.)

[Mother felt the need to tell me that my brother came down into the city on Sunday to visit friends - it was a party of sorts, and the restaurant was more crowded than they anticipated - although the vaccine requirement was in effect. They stayed the night in a hotel - and went home the next morning. I'm very glad I can experience NYC without spending money on a hotel. Hotel's are bloody expensive in this city. Mother likes to gossip.]

***

We discussed West Side Story at work today. Mel agreed with me, and was very pleased that I had the same take on the film that she and her husband did (he's Latino). Which was the 1961 film was the better adaptation.
Waiting to get Gabe's take.

**

Chidi had mixed feelings about Batman. He told me I might like it better than he did and should see it in the theater - since it's beautifully shot. I decided to wait for it to come out on HBO Max - it's too violent, and I'd rather not watch a dark, violent action movie at the moment on a big screen. My first movie theater post-Omnicron is calling to be Doctor Strange and the Multi-Verse of Madness, I think.

***

Plodding away on my revisions of my 800 page novel. We'll see where it goes. Or if I continue. The scarf that I'm knitting doesn't look too bad. Although I think my counting got off somewhere in there.

***

I looked at the news, it's depressing. Wales feels the need to keep me apprised of the nastiness in the news. She's worse than my mother, who has actually gotten better now that my father is in the long-term facility more or less permanently. (Alzhiemer's is a horrible disease, there is no cure, and all you can do is make the person as comfortable as possible. Mother can't take care of him - hence the long-care facility.)

Regarding the Ukraine. I live in NYC, we have a lot of Ukrainian immigrants in NYC. At the company that I worked for prior to crazy org - aka the video game company, I was seated next to a woman who had immigrated from the Ukraine. She was lovely and kind, and we had long conversations about her homeland - and why she left. Also how Russia had destroyed it prior to the Ukraine finally claiming its independence - this was in the early 00s.

Anyhow...Crazy Org asked for medical supplies - but it was the agency in Manhattan that was requesting them (Transit), so I couldn't do anything.

Here's an interesting article I found via Twitter on the Ilya Kaminisky on Ukrainan, Russian, and the Language of War

A crowd, including local media, was gathered around Boris as he spoke out against the bombings, against yet another fake humanitarian aid campaign of Putin’s. Some clapped; others shook their heads in disapproval. A few months later, the doors, floors, and windows of Boris’s apartment were blown up.

There are many stories like this. They’re often shared in short, hurried sentences, and then the subject is changed abruptly.

“Truthful war books,” Orwell wrote, “are never acceptable to non-combatants.”

When Americans ask about recent events in Ukraine, I think of these lines from Boris’s poem:

people carry explosives around the city
in plastic shopping bags and little suitcases.


****

Over the last twenty years, Ukraine has been governed by both the Russian-speaking East and the Ukrainian-speaking West. The government periodically uses “the language issue” to incite conflict and violence, an effective distraction from the real problems at hand. The most recent conflict arose in response to the inadequate policies of President Yanukovych, who has since escaped to Russia. Yanukovych was universally acknowledged as the most corrupt president the country has ever known (he’d been charged with rape and assault, among other things, all the way back to Soviet times). However, these days, Ukraine’s new government continues to include oligarchs and professional politicians with shrewd pedigrees and questionable motivations.

continuation of lengthy excerpt on the Ukraine, Language, and Poetry... )

*****

Thunderstorm. Lightening. Hard rain. Wind. And the smell of the tropics.
Yet, it is winter in NYC. However, it smells like Florida at the moment.
I like the smell of rain, particularly warm rain.

Been quick to tears of late. Very weepy. Not sure why. Most likely menopause.

NYC has decided to lift the vaccine and mask mandates in restaurants, and indoor establishments - dammit. Just when I was getting up the courage to see a movie or a Broadway show, or go out to eat. The Mayor thinks this will encourage a return to normalcy and more people will go out to eat, etc. (Uhm no.)

Mother tells me that my brother feels the same way that I do. That he doesn't want to travel either.

Me: And yet he is.
Mother: Well, yes and no. He is coming down to help me, and he did travel into the city by train to see friends, and they'll go out in June to pick up their daughter from the UK, but no plans to do anything over there.
Me: Meanwhile I've not been anywhere but my workplace and back, and well Hilton Head in December, and Valatie, NY in July, but not sure that counts.

The worst bit? Mother is scared to go to church. It has no restrictions, no vaccine mandates, no masks, people can do whatever they want. And she can't afford to get COVID or get sick for that matter - she has teeth and knee surgery coming up, plus is visiting my father. Getting sick in December - scared her. And she got sick because of her stupid church. It scared both of us. [Bad Catholics. Bad.]

I've decided her Catholic Church is being very bad. (I was raised Catholic even though I am Unitarian Universalist). It's not being a good Christian or Catholic denomination. It's selfish. Instead of putting public health, the health of the community, the elderly, and others first - it's putting its own greed and convenience first.

Wouldn't it be nice if the Universe aka God would still "smite" bad people and organizations? Like in the old testament stories? You don't wear masks and don't get vaccinated and infect someone with COVID? SMITE! SMITE! Or you preach Putin was right to go to war with the Ukraine? SMITE! SMITE! Or you allow idiots to wander about your church without masks or vaccination? SMITE! SMITE!

Of course we'd probably all be dead, but still.

[Note I don't believe that God ever smited things, or any of that biblical stuff, I'm joking. I think the Bible is mostly a work of fiction or mythology. I don't take it that seriously. ]

**

Eh, here...have a picture:

shadowkat: (Default)
I got cold this afternoon, and the heat thankfully flared back on again - I'd begun to worry about it. (Yet, another thing that I've no control over, so most of the time I don't worry. But I know the boiler needed fixing a while back and they need to replace it. I'm just hoping they wait until the Spring or Summer to do so. Preferably the summer. And give me forewarning, so I can plan a vacation elsewhere.)

Me: My crazy work place...
Mother: Oh? Now what?
Me: They sent an email reminding us that we were "returning to the regular office schedule next week" and "were off the telecommute hybrid schedule" and if reasonable accommodation was possible to get our forms into the proper authorities. Then right after that email - about ten-fifteen minutes after it, came a notification - that we should disregard the last email since they'd changed their minds and were extending the Telecommute, WFH hybrid schedule to February 15, with a memo pending.
Mother: They've been doing that all along haven't they?
ME: They can't make up their mind. It's ridiculous. And it's so political.

In March 2020, up until roughly the 16th, I was convinced I was doomed. There was no way I was going to avoid getting sick. I had no access to a mask, couldn't get hand sanitizer to save my life, and I was being forced to come in and out of a crowded transportation hub to go to work each day in a cubicle with lots of folks socializing. Plus I had to take public transportation - and no one had access to any masks at that point, we were making our own.

Then, all of sudden we were yanked out.

My anxiety was through the roof, and so was my blood pressure. It took me three weeks to calm down - basically when I figured out that we were going to stay remote, and how to work remotely off my laptop without having to go back into the office.

The problem with my work and well everything really - is it is all politicized.

***

Got into two debates, somewhat heated on WSA FB Group, making me wonder about folks.

1. Journalistic standards and practices, along with scholarly ones. When reporting on events that are more than 20 years old, isn't it required that you obtain "primary sources" and do not rely on secondary anonymous sources? Read more... )

2. Authorial Intent. I remember having long and rather interesting discussions about this on the ATPOBTVS fan discussion board in 2002-2005.
The consensus was pretty much that it was almost impossible to determine authorial intent in a collaborative work of art, with multiple players who kept changing and jumping in and out of it. You can try, but it's most likely just bringing your own subtext to the proceedings. (And we did try.)

I'm seeing it again now on WSA Board on FB. They are discussing how they can reinterpret Angel, Buffy, Firefly, etc - based on what they now know about Whedon or in light of the recent interview. Read more... )

***

COVID

It's time for the NY Governor's Email Update on the Pandemic, Again )

There, that gives you information on the number of cases in NY, the positivity rate, the hospitalizations, what they are doing about it, how to get test kits, etc. (The only thing they've stopped reporting is the death toll, which is interesting.)

Aunt K told mother she was relieved that she had retired fully before COVID hit. She was a school nurse for the district, and therefore in charge of coordinating the vaccination effort for the H1N1 vaccine. COVID would have been a nightmare. She said the new school nurse, who took over, isn't trained for that sort of thing and doesn't have the higher education my Aunt had, she's just a school nurse - so can't do the checkups and checkins, apparently, the principal has to do them. (I didn't understand it either, not sure mother did.)

***

Mother also told me that niece's grades at the London School of Economics will have no effect on her GPA in the States - because they have a completely different grading system. grading system in UK vs. the States )

Speaking of father, today they discussed the people he worked with in the past. Then towards the end, he wanted to travel - and leave the resort he was apparently in, and go somewhere else, and asked mother where they were going out to dinner. And reminded her that they had to leave early the next morning to get to whatever destination he thought they were heading too.

When he's in his right mind - he doesn't ask these questions. It's always painful. And it feels like it is almost every day. I'm not there to witness it, but I listen. That's all I can do really. My mother stays in contact with everyone in our family - she's not angry at anyone, and seemingly gets along with them all - or is oblivious to any grudges, she hand waves them, much as her own mother did.

***

Random Photo of the Evening...



shadowkat: (Default)


I thought about taking a walk today but too blasted cold. I consider 25 degrees F too cold. I'm admittedly a wimp who spent Christmas in 70-80 degree weather.

My Optimum upgrade arrived in the mail today. But I can't figure out how to install it - since it didn't come with certain items, and I do not have a cable wall outlet, I have a cable splinter. So I called Optimum and complained, wrangling a tech service call from them. Then they proceeded to call me three times after they set it up - to see if I would cancel it. No, I told them, I'm not cancelling - you sent me equipment I can't install myself. And you failed to tell me what was required prior to my request for the upgrade. This is on you. I think they will charge me $80 for the service call tomorrow - between 2-5pm. Because they like to make you wait three hours to see if they will arrive.

If it doesn't work - I'm switching to Verizon.

The box is sitting on my other armchair, aka dumping ground, waiting for use.

**

Mother has decided - the hell with this latest outbreak - and is going to church tomorrow morning and out to brunch with her friends. (She's going to wear a mask except while eating, and try to sit apart from folks. Also not singing in the choir.)

Meanwhile my church has gone full live-streaming again. But hey, I travel to and from the office two - three times a week, have a guy upgrading my cable/internet service tomorrow, get groceries, do laundry, etc.

Are we all just learning to live with COVID? I'm trying to decide if I can get up the courage to see Spiderman and/or West Side Story in movie theaters? Probably not - even though my cough has lessened.

Last night, I had a nightmare that I was back at school (UMKC of all places), and I forgot my mask. I was wondering stairwells etc, trying to get away from folks in dorms, because I didn't have a mask. It was horrible. Kind of haunts me for some reason or other.

**

Binge watched the rest of S4 Yellowstone. Also, got some back story on the writer/director of the series - Taylor Sheridan. He was an actor, and actually has a role in Yellowstone. He played in Sons of Anarchy, and various other things, small roles mostly. And finally realized he wasn't going to get anywhere as an actor - so decided to become a writer/director so he could call the shots. And chose to write what he knew - he's a cowboy who worked as a cowboy in Texas and Montana. So he writes about that - and as he put it, if you don't know it - you fall into cliches.

I'm not sure I entirely agree with the whole write what you know - hyper-realism crap. Read more... )

Yellowstone is what I like to call a "modern western" - which tend to be rather dark. Read more... )

Also, watched the eighth episode of Yellowjackets. I'm hooked. Read more... )

**

Another thing I wanted to comment on that I saw online - was about fantasy novels and Wheel of Time. I can't find where it came from - except it was on Twitter. The comment was basically that fantasy wasn't all about men up until Wheel of Time novels, that there were a lot of novels by female writers and male writers with female heroines.

This is true.

Wheel of Time is also one of those series that is way overrated due to its political correctness (it has a diverse cast and LGBTA romances), but has issues in well all the other areas such as character development, pacing, world-building, and plotting. One reviewer felt it was a better adaptation of the source material than the Witcher. Read more... )

See, this is why I refuse to be a television media critic/writer for onzines. I would end up writing crappy and meaningless articles like the one's I just quoted, and that add zip to our world. I can write that crap for free.

***

I'm taking a break from the news. Someone on Twitter coined the term PTTD, Post-Traumatic Trump Disorder. Fitting. Particularly since he's still alive and refuses to go away. And as a result the dumb media can't quite ignore him.

**

Random photo...

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