Know your audience
Apr. 6th, 2022 09:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadowkatThis appears to be the message the Universe wants me to get today.
At today's staff meeting of doom... Breaking Bad (who also happens to be a frustrated screen writer - I kid you not, he literally is) informed us that it was important that we know our audience. And write to it.
"Know your audience," Breaking Bad states, "as a writer it is always important to know who your audience is - and to write to it."
Boss used to tell me the same thing - except differently, he'd say : "be mindful of your audience..." Boss was into Buddhist sayings.
I've actually gotten rather good at it at work now - I write for a factual, analytical, legal/auditor audience. Which means clean writing, facts, no emotional content, and precise. Bare bones writing. Also mindful of tone - always polite, always with a greeting.
Twitter is kind of driving that point home at the moment. In interesting and entertaining ways.
tia witcher extraordinaire
cursedhive
· 7h
we're cancelling each other over book takes today. post your cancellable book take
This was after the cancelling each other over food takes.
Mine?
1) I think 19th Century Literature is highly overrated with the possible exception of Mark Twain, who at least had a sense of humor.
2.) Mustard is better on Fries than Ketchup.
(I don't know enough folks on Twitter for it to be an issue. And I want to keep it that way. Much safer. Twitter scares me. Famous folks are on Twitter - and Famous folks tend to be a little like Royal Aristocrats.)
And..
This ...(not posted by me)
I'm definitely taking a hiatus from #GH Soap Twitter. There's no enjoyment anymore. I feel like I can't criticize a story, a pairing, or the writing without seeing subtweets about it being hypocritical or a dozen other reasons my opinion isn't valid. 🤷🏻♀️
You win. I give up.
"Dear Internet - It's Okay to have your own opinions"
I restrained myself from retweeting and stating: "But posting them is another matter entirely" or "It's not necessarily okay to post them."
You'd think people would know this. But alas, no. I know it. I get into trouble for posting my opinions all the time. Lots of trouble. Know your audience. (Easier said than done.)
With social media, it is kind of hard to know or figure out the audience - they are so varied, and there's quite a bit of turn-over. Back in the early 00s it was much easier. I'd lurk on Voy Boards for a bit. Read the interactions. And then slowly dive into the fray. But only after I figured out the audience and the writing style they preferred. ATPOBTVS was scholary, so I wrote more carefully, and scholarly. Twitter is snarky - so I write snarky. Face book is picture oriented - so I tend to go that route, anything more than that - gets odd responses. DreamWidth is do what you want in your journal - but it tends to be more fandom focused.
Work? Details, facts, and cover your butt with backup. It's basically academic writing meets business/law/financial writing on steroids.
***
My writing style has been known to change based on what I've been reading (and also based on my audience). I tend to mimic a writing style, not completely, but it can influence my own. I have to work against that happening sometimes. But if someone writes or posts in a formal academic style - I'll shift my writing style or adjust it to match theirs. I find it easier to adjust my writing to an academic style than the abbreviated casual slang style. Mainly because I write more formally for a living.
**
Me: I'm trying to figure out where to retire -
Mother: Well your brother already has that figured out for you.
Me: Okay, where?
Mother: He has a running joke that you're going to move down here and take care of me.
Me: I can't get in there -
Mother: You could get a condo outside or off island.
Me: Does he plan to pay for this condo?
Mother: I said it's a running joke -
Me: And how does he expect me to get around exactly?
Mother: Take driver's ed - like I said, it's his running joke - a way of yanking my chain. He likes to tease me with it.
Me: It's not funny. (Besides I don't need Driver's Ed - I have a driver's license. I know "how" to drive - that's NOT the reason I can't drive any longer. I can't tell how far apart the cars are from each other - it's a depth perception/visual coordination/spatial orientation issue.)
I think it's wishful thinking on my idiotic brother's part. It's kind of cruel actually.
And one of the many reasons I've realized asking to visit him in April for Easter, and to see my niece, is a really bad idea. I may get myself killed attempting to kill my brother - I'm outnumbered. And I'm scared of his wife.
Why can't relationships and people be the way we want them to be in our heads? I have this fantasy of what my relationship with my brother is actually like - and the reality of it, is terribly disappointing. Yes, I know, I should shirk the fantasy, accept and love the reality. And I am trying to do that. But ...it would be nice if I could tweak myself and my brother and get the one I want.
Also, this is not to say that I'm not grateful for the relationship that I currently do have with my mother, and to an extent always have had. Is it perfect? Hell no. No relationship is perfect. We snipe at each other. And we actually get along better long distance, mainly because I have a tendency to abdicate to her in order to avoid conflict and after a bit that gets on my nerves. I get tired of catering. But, I do know it is a better relationship than 90% of my friends have with their mothers - let's face it, a lot of people out there probably should never have kids. But if they didn't? I wouldn't have many friends. So there you go.
I also wish that I could move down to Hilton Head, get a nice beach condo, visit mother and father, and write my books, get them published, and date somebody who has retired down there with a boat. But alas, I can't. It won't work for oh so many reasons. Expense just being one of many. It's actually cheaper to stay in NY, believe it or not.
And moving mother to NY isn't exactly doable either - even if my father was no longer in the picture. [I am not asking for any advice on this. Please don't try to give any - well-meaning or otherwise. I've thought it all through...already.]
So..it is what it is, I guess. And we're all playing it by ear.
I don't think it's a good idea to tell others what to do. Family or otherwise, unless they ask of course. Because we don't actually know their situations or stresses or anxieties, or what makes them tick. My brother doesn't understand me - nor does he really know me, any more than I really know him. We kind of see each other peripherally - from the corners of our eyes, not straight on. And that may well be our problem - neither of us has really taken the time to deal with one another straight on. And you kind of need both people to take the time to do it.
We did when we were younger, but folks change over time. And, it's harder to do it now. It wasn't easy then either - but we kind of had to. Yet, we never did it without judgement or through our own desires or issues. So, no, even then I don't think we ever looked at each other head on.
I think this may be true with a lot of relationships. Where people deal with one another peripherally. But they don't really know one another.
Mother: It's hard to make friends in the US or meet people.
Me: It is. I make them - they move away. And work's difficult because we all live so far away from each other. We're friendly at work - but not really outside of it. We never see each other outside of work.
Mother: Even meeting neighbors is difficult - except for places like where I am now. But before - in Kansas City, we barely met them. If you have a dog, and are walking it - you often meet people.
Me: Except I always feel sorry for the dogs...so that won't work. (I do, the dogs always give me the same lost puppy look - "save me!" and I think, "sorry, can't, but hey at least you aren't in a cage or being killed, look on the bright side.")
After the pandemic - I may try to volunteer at an animal shelter or donate knitted animal blankets.
It is hard to meet new people and make friends though.
**
I'm stealing time to work on my books. I've so many to work on and no time. Since, I find writing hard after a full day of doing nothing but writing, reading, revising, editing, analyzing writing, and more writing.
But ...I need to write and revise my stories. Even if they don't get published and no one reads them. I have to. If that makes sense.
Mother: It does. It's where your heart is.
Me: I don't like writing non-fiction. I don't like reading it. It's fiction, my stories I want to write.
Mother: I get it. If I could write half as well as you do - it's what I would write. And it's what I prefer to read. I completely understand - it's your heart. You are a story teller. You always were. Just like my older sister. I'd never tell you to stop doing that.
The stories even play with my head during work and walking home. They are always there, buzzing in the back of my brain or in my heart, fighting for air time.
I also need to steal time to print off my photos, frame them, and draw and paint some. There's going to be a lot time-stealing going on, apparently.
At today's staff meeting of doom... Breaking Bad (who also happens to be a frustrated screen writer - I kid you not, he literally is) informed us that it was important that we know our audience. And write to it.
"Know your audience," Breaking Bad states, "as a writer it is always important to know who your audience is - and to write to it."
Boss used to tell me the same thing - except differently, he'd say : "be mindful of your audience..." Boss was into Buddhist sayings.
I've actually gotten rather good at it at work now - I write for a factual, analytical, legal/auditor audience. Which means clean writing, facts, no emotional content, and precise. Bare bones writing. Also mindful of tone - always polite, always with a greeting.
Twitter is kind of driving that point home at the moment. In interesting and entertaining ways.
tia witcher extraordinaire
cursedhive· 7h
we're cancelling each other over book takes today. post your cancellable book take
This was after the cancelling each other over food takes.
Mine?
1) I think 19th Century Literature is highly overrated with the possible exception of Mark Twain, who at least had a sense of humor.
2.) Mustard is better on Fries than Ketchup.
(I don't know enough folks on Twitter for it to be an issue. And I want to keep it that way. Much safer. Twitter scares me. Famous folks are on Twitter - and Famous folks tend to be a little like Royal Aristocrats.)
And..
This ...(not posted by me)
I'm definitely taking a hiatus from #GH Soap Twitter. There's no enjoyment anymore. I feel like I can't criticize a story, a pairing, or the writing without seeing subtweets about it being hypocritical or a dozen other reasons my opinion isn't valid. 🤷🏻♀️
You win. I give up.
"Dear Internet - It's Okay to have your own opinions"
I restrained myself from retweeting and stating: "But posting them is another matter entirely" or "It's not necessarily okay to post them."
You'd think people would know this. But alas, no. I know it. I get into trouble for posting my opinions all the time. Lots of trouble. Know your audience. (Easier said than done.)
With social media, it is kind of hard to know or figure out the audience - they are so varied, and there's quite a bit of turn-over. Back in the early 00s it was much easier. I'd lurk on Voy Boards for a bit. Read the interactions. And then slowly dive into the fray. But only after I figured out the audience and the writing style they preferred. ATPOBTVS was scholary, so I wrote more carefully, and scholarly. Twitter is snarky - so I write snarky. Face book is picture oriented - so I tend to go that route, anything more than that - gets odd responses. DreamWidth is do what you want in your journal - but it tends to be more fandom focused.
Work? Details, facts, and cover your butt with backup. It's basically academic writing meets business/law/financial writing on steroids.
***
My writing style has been known to change based on what I've been reading (and also based on my audience). I tend to mimic a writing style, not completely, but it can influence my own. I have to work against that happening sometimes. But if someone writes or posts in a formal academic style - I'll shift my writing style or adjust it to match theirs. I find it easier to adjust my writing to an academic style than the abbreviated casual slang style. Mainly because I write more formally for a living.
**
Me: I'm trying to figure out where to retire -
Mother: Well your brother already has that figured out for you.
Me: Okay, where?
Mother: He has a running joke that you're going to move down here and take care of me.
Me: I can't get in there -
Mother: You could get a condo outside or off island.
Me: Does he plan to pay for this condo?
Mother: I said it's a running joke -
Me: And how does he expect me to get around exactly?
Mother: Take driver's ed - like I said, it's his running joke - a way of yanking my chain. He likes to tease me with it.
Me: It's not funny. (Besides I don't need Driver's Ed - I have a driver's license. I know "how" to drive - that's NOT the reason I can't drive any longer. I can't tell how far apart the cars are from each other - it's a depth perception/visual coordination/spatial orientation issue.)
I think it's wishful thinking on my idiotic brother's part. It's kind of cruel actually.
And one of the many reasons I've realized asking to visit him in April for Easter, and to see my niece, is a really bad idea. I may get myself killed attempting to kill my brother - I'm outnumbered. And I'm scared of his wife.
Why can't relationships and people be the way we want them to be in our heads? I have this fantasy of what my relationship with my brother is actually like - and the reality of it, is terribly disappointing. Yes, I know, I should shirk the fantasy, accept and love the reality. And I am trying to do that. But ...it would be nice if I could tweak myself and my brother and get the one I want.
Also, this is not to say that I'm not grateful for the relationship that I currently do have with my mother, and to an extent always have had. Is it perfect? Hell no. No relationship is perfect. We snipe at each other. And we actually get along better long distance, mainly because I have a tendency to abdicate to her in order to avoid conflict and after a bit that gets on my nerves. I get tired of catering. But, I do know it is a better relationship than 90% of my friends have with their mothers - let's face it, a lot of people out there probably should never have kids. But if they didn't? I wouldn't have many friends. So there you go.
I also wish that I could move down to Hilton Head, get a nice beach condo, visit mother and father, and write my books, get them published, and date somebody who has retired down there with a boat. But alas, I can't. It won't work for oh so many reasons. Expense just being one of many. It's actually cheaper to stay in NY, believe it or not.
And moving mother to NY isn't exactly doable either - even if my father was no longer in the picture. [I am not asking for any advice on this. Please don't try to give any - well-meaning or otherwise. I've thought it all through...already.]
So..it is what it is, I guess. And we're all playing it by ear.
I don't think it's a good idea to tell others what to do. Family or otherwise, unless they ask of course. Because we don't actually know their situations or stresses or anxieties, or what makes them tick. My brother doesn't understand me - nor does he really know me, any more than I really know him. We kind of see each other peripherally - from the corners of our eyes, not straight on. And that may well be our problem - neither of us has really taken the time to deal with one another straight on. And you kind of need both people to take the time to do it.
We did when we were younger, but folks change over time. And, it's harder to do it now. It wasn't easy then either - but we kind of had to. Yet, we never did it without judgement or through our own desires or issues. So, no, even then I don't think we ever looked at each other head on.
I think this may be true with a lot of relationships. Where people deal with one another peripherally. But they don't really know one another.
Mother: It's hard to make friends in the US or meet people.
Me: It is. I make them - they move away. And work's difficult because we all live so far away from each other. We're friendly at work - but not really outside of it. We never see each other outside of work.
Mother: Even meeting neighbors is difficult - except for places like where I am now. But before - in Kansas City, we barely met them. If you have a dog, and are walking it - you often meet people.
Me: Except I always feel sorry for the dogs...so that won't work. (I do, the dogs always give me the same lost puppy look - "save me!" and I think, "sorry, can't, but hey at least you aren't in a cage or being killed, look on the bright side.")
After the pandemic - I may try to volunteer at an animal shelter or donate knitted animal blankets.
It is hard to meet new people and make friends though.
**
I'm stealing time to work on my books. I've so many to work on and no time. Since, I find writing hard after a full day of doing nothing but writing, reading, revising, editing, analyzing writing, and more writing.
But ...I need to write and revise my stories. Even if they don't get published and no one reads them. I have to. If that makes sense.
Mother: It does. It's where your heart is.
Me: I don't like writing non-fiction. I don't like reading it. It's fiction, my stories I want to write.
Mother: I get it. If I could write half as well as you do - it's what I would write. And it's what I prefer to read. I completely understand - it's your heart. You are a story teller. You always were. Just like my older sister. I'd never tell you to stop doing that.
The stories even play with my head during work and walking home. They are always there, buzzing in the back of my brain or in my heart, fighting for air time.
I also need to steal time to print off my photos, frame them, and draw and paint some. There's going to be a lot time-stealing going on, apparently.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-07 03:24 am (UTC)I feel like that is normal for people who don't live in each other's pockets and don't know everything that is going on in each other's lives? That doesn't mean that I think we don't have a good relationship - but it's a different kind of relationship than when we were kids - which is good :D
I also totally agree about finding it SO difficult to meet new friends as an adult. You and your mom qualified it as "in the US" - is it easier elsewhere?
Part of it is that I'm not someone who is going to strike up a conversation with strangers in a line at the store (and come out of it with a job offer - as is how Bossman ended up in our company after a casual conversation with the CEO in line at Costco)
When I do meet someone interesting in a social situation - I never do know how to follow up and make it something that happens a second time?
I guess - when you're a kid, your friends are the kids in your class, or the kids who live next door - you're outside and playing and it's the same kids all the time. In college, I spent the most time with the people I lived with - usually friends I had from high school - and I didn't really form strong friendships with my classmates - probably because I had high school friends that came to the same school as I did - so I didn't *need* to meet new people.
After I started working - the people I spent the most time with, are coworkers - and only a few of them turned into "outside of work friends".
I don't know how to make new one-on-one friends - at least in person :D
I hope you can find a way to grab some time for yourself and do some of the fun things on your list!
no subject
Date: 2022-04-07 11:10 pm (UTC)I don't know. My impression is that it is easier in certain areas or communities - where people are outside more, and more interactive. Also where transportation is less "car" oriented and more walking and public transportation across the board. Plus, areas where people don't move around quite as much?
But I don't know. It's not been easy anywhere that I've lived in the US - which is a lot of places, all vastly different. I actually find it easier in NY than it was in Kansas City, but that has a lot to do with the fact that I'm very non-mainstream, and Kansas City is very mainstream. I'm kind of quirky - so did not fit in in Kansas, at all. NY - I fit in better.
Part of it is that I'm not someone who is going to strike up a conversation with strangers in a line at the store (and come out of it with a job offer - as is how Bossman ended up in our company after a casual conversation with the CEO in line at Costco)
Yep, I can't do that either. I usually annoy folks when I talk to them in line. Or if I don't and we get along - we don't exchange numbers. And I never follow up well. I'm really bad at following up with folks. And/or initiating things. I'm not the sort of person who makes a good first impression, I usually just grow on people...after they get to know me. I take a while to get to know.
When I do meet someone interesting in a social situation - I never do know how to follow up and make it something that happens a second time?
Same. I tried meetup groups - and ran into that situation repeatedly. We'd connect, but I never knew how to follow up. I seem to be very good at making connections with folks online, or on social media. I have a lot of social media friends. I think the reason for this - is I'm more comfortable interacting through writing, then I am orally. I can edit myself. And can see what I'm saying. Oral communication is more difficult, and more likely to make mistakes. (I have foot in mouth disease.)
no subject
Date: 2022-04-07 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-04-07 10:59 pm (UTC)Also happened with a gynecologist - but again worked to my benefit, she was crappy.
Dentists - ugh. I need to find a new one. The really good one I'd had - retired ten years ago.
NYC is kind of like a college town - except with lots of colleges, so there's lots of transistion. I make friends? They move on me. As a result, I've got people I made friends with who live in Massachustus, Bermuda, Italy, Martha's Vineyard, Upstate New York, Florida, Virgina, California, etc. And I don't do the long-distance friendship thing well - so we just drift apart. Unless they like to write - like I do. Most don't. And I'm not a phone person.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-07 04:47 pm (UTC)I feel like this goes along with people still not quite understanding what their first amendment rights actually are. You are entitled to have your own opinion, but if you post it or say it, you're not exactly shielded from push back or backlash.
It is frustrating when the reality of the relationships don't match what you wish it could be but relationships do change as we all get older, especially if we're not living right with one another and can communicate as frequently.
Also I'm with you on how hard it is to make friends as an adult. That is why my closest friends are still the ones I had in high school.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-07 10:50 pm (UTC)You are entitled to have your own opinion, but if you post it or say it, you're not exactly shielded from push back or backlash.
Exactly. Other people are entitled to their opinions too and they may clash with yours. The difficulty with the first amendment is everyone has the right to free speech. Including the people we would like to smack every time they open their mouths.
It is frustrating when the reality of the relationships don't match what you wish it could be but relationships do change as we all get older, especially if we're not living right with one another and can communicate as frequently.
In the situation with my brother? It really hasn't changed that much since we were living together in close proximity. We never got along well. I had relatives and various friends of the family who used to tell my parents that when we got older, my brother and I should live on opposite sides of the country. Unfortunately, we are either more alike than we like to admit or the Universe has a wicked sense of humor - because we both ended up in NY, about four hours away from each other. For a while we were in closer proximity - forty-five minutes away.
We could argue for six hours over the color of paint. We did. We were painting our parents basement way back in the 1990s, and ran out. So we argued for an two hours about whether it was creme or off-white - because we had to get another can of it. We took a break and saw a movie. Discussed the movie. Then returned and argued some more. I can't remember how it resolved itself or what can of paint we bought. Just that it somehow worked out.