Spontaneous Musings

Weirdly, and believe it or not? I sleep better now than I used to. I used to average between 3-5 hours. Now, it's between 5-7 hours, so progress. I even get 8-9 hours intermittently. The smart watch has made a difference - it inspires me to get to bed earlier - and the move to the financial district means that I'm sleeping twenty minutes longer.

I've always had problems with sleep - since I was a child. Busy mind. I used to sleep with my books. And a cat or two. I was raised with cats. I miss the cats, actually - but can't really own one now for multiple reasons not worth going into? They did not help me sleep better.
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Last night, I went to bed early, turned off everything around 9:00 pm, and was in bed by 9:40pm. Fell asleep by 10:16 pm (according to the watch at any rate), and ended up waking up at 2:30am, and couldn't get back to sleep - even though I listened to three different sleep meditations on the Calm app. One...kind of triggered a bad memory - it was talking about imagining being in a peaceful and safe place...and managed to remind me of a horror novel that I read over a year ago, and still haunts me to this day. (PenPal, avoid at all costs).

Me: It was about walking through a forest and for some reason it brought to mind this horrible scene from a horror novel -
Mother: How odd that a meditation about Star War's the "force" would trigger horror novel, usually the force is a good thing.
Me: No forest.
Mother: yes, the force.
Me: No. F-o-r-e-s-t, Forest.
Mother: Ohhhh. That makes more sense. I thought you said force.

Sigh. It is possible to have conversations with folks, use words in the same language, and completely not understand one another.
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****

Been seeing advertisements in the subway for "Friend.com" - stating things like, "Friend: listens to you, responds, and supports you" and "binge a entire television series with you", "share adventures"...and I thought, oh, this must be friending app, similar to a dating app, except for platonic relationships! I should go check this out.

Eh.

Turns out my definition of "friend" isn't exactly the same as others?

Friend is an AI wearable pendant that records everything you say and do, and after collecting all this data - analyzes it and talks to you about it

From the The Verge

( An AI pendant that you wear around your neck constantly, records your voice and all your discussions, and supports you, talks back to you and is your friend )

Apparently he spent $1.5 M just to buy the domain name.

I don't know, I find the concept kind of frightening? And really disturbing? That's not how I define friendship. Friendship is supporting each other, listening to each other, and caring about each other, and enjoying things together, debating things, discussing things, and sometimes disagreeing but being okay about it.

Although I guess it is weirdly reassuring in a misery loves company kind of way that there are so many people out there, including this guy, who crave friendship and can't quite find it?

In more disturbing AI news?( Read more... )

Okay. What happened to friendship apps - where you just, you know, meet folks with similar interests? I feel like I woke up one morning and suddenly found myself living in a science fiction horror series by way of Black Mirror and Philip K Dick? And how can I extricate myself? Does anyone see an escape route? Because I want out. Also is there a way we can make any of this stop?

****

I did spend about an hour this morning talking to Art History Major (cubical mate) who is stuck at home recuperating from a stress fracture, which I think is a broken foot. ( Read more... )

*****

I'm avoiding the news as much as possible. I know what's going on in the world. I wish I didn't. My way of coping is ruthlessly mocking it and making fun of everything. I managed to make myself and various co-workers laugh today. So, that's a win, right?

One co-worker thinks we should all go to group therapy for the trauma of Crazy Org's merger of the agencies. I'm beginning to think the entire United States needs some group therapy.

I found this "Portrait of Life/Portrait of Grief" rather moving and relatable:

The site tour went better than expected. Although the project team was woefully unprepared. Not that it mattered, since only two firms showed up.

The others, we joked, went to the beach.

It was 80 degree. Beautiful. Clear blue skies. All worries of thunderstorms floated away. (The thunderstorms kindly did not arrive until 5:45pm, after I got home, to hit us.)

Six firms made reservations, and sent in Site Tour Release forms, but only two showed up, and one that didn't make a reservation at all, didn't send a Site Tour Release Form, nor brought the correct Personal Protective Equipment or reflective vest.

ME: Hello, who are you.
Contractor: AI Equipment and Painting.
Me (checking my attendance list): You didn't make a reservation or send in a form.
Contractor: I called you.
Me: No, you didn't.
Contractor: I got your name.
ME: I never spoke with you and never got an email. Also you aren't wearing a vest. (He didn't have a mask either - but I was willing to waive that - since it wasn't listed as a requirement any longer, we were outside, it was sunny, and warm. But the reflective vest is required. At least he was wearing safety boots.) I can't let you on the tour.
Contractor: Is this mandatory?
Me: No.
Contractor: Are all the stations visible like this one? (You can see everything through the barbed wire fence (which granted has seen better days).)
Me: Yes.
Contractor: Okay then, bye.

The site tour really wasn't necessary. I managed to talk the project team and the contractors who showed up out of visiting all of the sites. So, I cut at least three hours off of it. Instead of being from 10-3pm, it was 10-12 pm. And most of the time was spent on driving. It took an hour to get out there.

Anyhow, I got a nice tour of Long Island. You can tell a New Yorker from a tourist by how they refer to the geographical locations in New York.
( that New York State of Mind )

It's nice out on Long Island, hilly, lots of trees, and beautiful homes. I can't afford it, plus it's not highly walkable. I need to find a rich significant other - who has a chauffeur.

For the most part, folks wore masks. I took mine off periodically - when outside, and briefly in the car to eat my energy bars and drink water (I was feeling woozy again, due to barometric pressure, dehydration, and low blood sugar or pressure. Menopause means I get overheated easily now.) But I was behind the guys in front, so safe. The Project Manager, while not vaccinated, had gotten COVID in March, and tested negative yesterday. I figured he was safer than I or the other guy were - we were both vaccinated.

***

Got back to crazy workplace. Found out during tour that everyone is fed up with crazy workplace. And people are leaving right and left. They are fed up in the office too.

Babs has had it with BYT (Bright Young Thing Manager). I'd feel sorry for BYT, but I've lost patience with her as well - so I decided to torture her with email overload. (Micromanage me at your own peril. I will gleefully overload you with details and information. Babs is the same way. We both do that. She kind of taught it to me. No, actually, I think we both learned it in law school - we both have legal backgrounds.) She pulled me aside today to find out why A was upset. I didn't know for certain, but my guess was what he'd told me the previous week - while we were commiserating over it.

I swear, I should teach a class on how not to manage people. Things you shouldn't do. I've only had one or two decent managers in my lifetime, and both lasted about a year each.

It's taught me that crappy people are like cockroaches, they refuse to go away permanently. And most of them for reasons that escape me, get promoted to management.

***

The subway shooting thing has gotten complicated. Apparently the person of interest, or the guy accused of this - turned himself in. He called them.
And his attorney's are claiming that he may be innocent of the crime.
Saw that on the news this morning.

I hope he's not. Because that means the bad guy is still out there wandering around. I have a feeling my fellow New Yorkers feel pretty much the same way. As does law enforcement - which is the problem.

Fair trial? Hmmph.

***

I intended to get up early tomorrow morning to do laundry, but I'm exhausted. So I may sleep in and do it in the afternoon instead.

***

There was a Helen Reddy song on my Iphone Apple Tunes the other day, that I really identified with..

Where Is My Friend?

It's a rarely heard song...
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It's a plaintive song...and haunted me one morning on the way to work.

I had a friend like that. I lost her at the fork in a road, not of my own choosing, way back when I was around 11 or 12 years of age. My parents chose to move to Kansas from Pennsylvania in the late 1970s. We corresponded for a bit, but...well, without visits (and my parents chose not to return for any), the distance drags, and we fall out of touch. I did see her once again about five years later. But time had taken its toll.
And the visit was far too brief.

I never ever saw her again.

We'd been best friends for about six years.

And I've had other friends like that over the years. My loss of friends is not due to fallings out or anything either of us have necessarily done, but logistics, and life.

I envy those who haven't had this happen. But my guess is they are rare and few between, or it would never have become a song.